It's an extremely rare occasion (like brilliant-insights-by-Emmitt-Smith-rare) that I even read Bill Simmons any more.  Back in the early days of the Sports Guy, I found him a refreshing change from the mainstream media.  Today, I consider him a megalomaniac Boston-obsessed retread.  That said, a slow Friday afternoon led me to his recent column ranking NFL quarterbacks.  

Matt Schaub is listed as a "Mild Upsider", along with Jason Campbell and Phil Rivers.  Sage Rosenfels, the QB du jour, is [wrongly] classified as "Flashes of Upside, Floods of Downside".  Not that I am surprised, since Sage does not play for the Belichicks, but Simmons could not be more wrong in this assessment.  But the real name on the list that I was searching for was...you know who...#8.  And I could not have had a better Christmas present if Dre Claus dropped off six gallons of Woodford Reserve and the Texans cheerleaders clad in nothing but their reindeer bells.  OK - strike that...but this is definitely the second best item on my list.  David Carr - "The Proverbial F-Minus".  While Simmons' handful of explanatory sentences do not even begin to do justice to his categorization (an entire website is necessary for such endeavors), it's pretty satisfying to get recognition from a [immensely popular] ballsack like The Sports Guy that Vidalis Spittoon is the worst QB to ever suit up in the NFL...bar...none.