Considering this week's opponent, you knew the David Carr stories were going to ratchet up as Sunday approached. For example, is Zoolander's "familarity" with the Texans offense going to give his new team an advantage in Sunday's game (for a far funnier discussion of this issue, check out this Diary)? Knowing that the attention was going to shift to the No. 1 overall pick of the 2002 NFL Draft, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised to read this article, which provides the following nugget:
"It was something that I enjoyed the first couple years. When we didn't get it done, that last year got pretty tough. I was happy to let it go."
On behalf of Houston fans, allow me to offer our sincere apology. We're truly sorry that the situation "just got so big," David. Unreasonable expectations, such as a .500 record within (5) years and/or a QB who is better known for his play than his hair, sure can be a pain. I mean, where did we get off, asking that the guy who was chosen No. 1 in the entire freaking NFL Draft actually, you know, WORK HARD, LEAD, and PRODUCE? Who do we think we are?
We're buttholes, that's what. I mean, it's not like we were incapable of loving you. As you said, "[you] enjoyed the first couple years." It wasn't until we viciously turned on you, finally fed up with the whole excuse of "we-are-an-expansion-team," that you stopped enjoying Houston. Sure, you banked tens of millions of dollars over the five (5) years you were here, but what's that worth? It's not like the team and their fans paid you a billion dollars or anything. And hey--if you're not enjoying yourself, playing a FREAKING GAME for a living, it's simply not worth it. We can't blame you for being "happy to let it go."
Fortunately for you, management finally "let someone else do it." Hell, he even wears the same number as you. And while his worth ethic, leadership, and performance have thus far proven to be everything you weren't, we haven't forgotten you, Dave. Every time we purchase a bottle of mousse, or get a spray tan, or watch an infant or a puppy curl up as if it was still in its mother's womb, we will think of you. Best of luck on Sunday.
A word of advice--watch what the guy under center wearing the Texans gear does. That's how a QB is supposed to play.