Three And Out: Useless Predictions For The First Monday Night Game In Franchise History
by Tim on Dec 1, 2008 1:15 PM CST
in News
11 comments
You know the drill, so let's get cracking. Three (3) things that are destined to happen at Reliant tonight when the Jags come running out of the tunnel:
1. Steve Slaton did a whole lot of nothing in his first meeting against Jacksonville. It won't happen again tonight. I'm feeling 108 total yards from Slaton this evening, 35 of which will be via a scamper into the end zone. In the second quarter.
2. Owen Daniels came up big against the Jags earlier this season, and I like him again tonight to the tune of 75 yards and a TD. Bonus passing game prediction: 'Dre will not be a decoy tonight, but he won't break 100 yards. I'm calling 89 yards and a TD for him.
3. Remember what happened the last time Super Mario played in prime time? So do I. Expect a slightly less impressive performance, which is to say two (2) sacks instead of 3.5.
PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: It's Battle Red Night. It's Monday Night Football. It's a struggling Jacksonville squad. Not even the potentially absurd decision to declare that Matt Schaub's healthy enough to be the No. 2 QB yet not healthy enough to be the No. 1 is going to screw this up. Jags 24, Texans 31.
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defense?
And what of your prognostications on our defensive playcalling? Back to Vanilla (based on your score prediction)?
Bacon tastes good... Pork chops taste good.
by beefy on Dec 1, 2008 1:25 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Re: Defense
I think we’ll see some aggression/blitzing, but not as much as we saw last week. I hate saying that, as it’s completely illogical. I believe, however, that the attack mode we witnessed in Cleveland may have been due more to the rookie QB under center than a sudden enlightenment by Richard Smith.
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
by Tim on Dec 1, 2008 1:35 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
concur and agree...
On the point-out of the rookie QB with hand issues. I was thinking the same. Garrard might be scary enough for Smith that he goes back into his shell, which is stupid because, last I checked, our DBs were still the same players.
Bacon tastes good... Pork chops taste good.
by beefy on Dec 1, 2008 1:44 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
LETS GET READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!!!
Man, I wish I could be there, but I’ll be consuming the Fattire, like it’s the Freaking Superbowl in my RED #90!
GO TEXANS!!!!!!!!!
by Texanmaniac on Dec 1, 2008 2:16 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
I don’t see any reason why the Texans shouldn’t win this game handily.
Texans 33, Jags 20
www.HoustonDiehards.com
by HoustonDiehards on Dec 1, 2008 3:17 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
My three
-David Garrard rushes for one touchdown, and as an endzone celebration goes to the nearest hot dog cart, orders a Chicago-style, and eats it Kobayashi-fast.
-Steve Slaton rushes 3 times for 210 yards and four touchdowns. That’s right – one of his runs, a 99-yard scramble where he switches fields twice, breaks 22 tackles (that’s two for every defensive player) and makes out with three cheerleaders en route to the endzone is determined to be worth two touchdowns. Kris Brown converts one extra point, and Slaton himself rushes for two on the second touchdown, giving the Texans 15 points from one play.
-Petey Faggins hits David Garrard on a corner back blitz and is knocked cold, managing to give himself the DGDB&D KTFO award in the process. Garrard is so stunned that he knocked someone out while looking downfield that he fumbles. The fumble is recovered by DeMeco Ryans who, not to be outdone by Steve Slaton (see above) impregnates three Texans cheerleaders on the way to the endzone. Garrard gives mouth-to-mouth to Faggins, causing the two to discover their love for one another and move to Massachussetts to get married in the offseason. The Texans end up winning the game 22-7.
You heard it here first.
When I'm on the mic, I'm like global warming, you can't ignore me.
by tehGrindCrusher on Dec 1, 2008 3:51 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
DeMeco's Kids?
So those three kids end up becoming the three starting linebackers for the Texans in 2023, right?
by Leein3D on Dec 1, 2008 4:23 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
as long as he doesn't name them all george foreman
i think we’ll be okay
by cubic on Dec 1, 2008 4:59 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
my three
1. we win the coin toss, and take the ball (?)
2. Sage blows up, 300 yards passing 3 TDs and 1 pick (and, shocker, its not a meaningful pick)
3. Duane Brown is the offensive MVP with great technique
Please draft some defensive stars for the next DC.
by texanphil on Dec 1, 2008 6:33 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
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