I've always thought that Peter King has several flaws that make him a less-than-average sportswriter.  For one thing, he is at best an average writer.  He's too chummy with several of the league's marquee players (see also: Farve, Brett), which effects his ability to remain neutral on football-related issues.  His analytical abilities are even worse than his writing.  And I don't care to read about his coffee fetish or how annoyed he gets when travelling.

Today, however, he's crossed the line with me, and this time for entirely selfish reasons.  Tonight is a big night for us Texans fans, even if the season hasn't gone according to plan.  It's our team's first ever appearance on Monday Night Football. 

I realize that a huge chunk of the U.S. doesn't really care about the Texans, an expansion team with a crappy record, paying against the Jags, another (though less recent) expansion team with a crappy record.  And I realize that this is not what the NFL had hoped when they scheduled this game before the season started.  No doubt, a great many Americans will find this game about as interesting as reading a treatise on celestial mechanics.  I don't even mind that Peter King thinks so (not that he's capable of understanding even the drawings in a treatise on celestial mechanics).

But woud it kill him to keep that thought to himself?  Today I find in his Monday morning ramblings (they're like a trainwreck, I can't stop myself from looking) an entire segment dedicated to encouraging readers to spend their Monday evenings doing something other than watching the Texans.  Adding insult to injury, among the recommendations King makes are shows from the Animal Planet and National Geographic networks.

Peter, I get it.  You'd much rather watch some retard run after a bull mastiff or two humpback whales, err, humping than watch the Texans and the Jags.  It's a shame neither team's seasons have panned out the way their respective fans would like.  You're not a paid shill for the league (just an unofficial shill for some of its supposed marquee players), so you don't have any responsibility to hype matchups between losing teams.

But isn't this a little uncalled for?  Even if this isn't Giants - Steelers, it could still end up being a more exciting game than people think.  Even if it isn't it wouldn't exactly be the most boring Monday Night game of all time, or even this year.

So, Peter, how about next time, instead of taking a few more minutes to add space to your already-too-long column (and while I'm at it, how about you keep your Ten Things lists down to, you know, only ten actual things) with suggestions for alternate programming, you just keep your big yap shut?  Just think, you could spend that time getting all warm and fuzzy over a cup of some exotic latte while you imagine yourself giving Brett Favre a massage.  I'm sure that would be better than watching the Texans and Jags play tonight.

If you'll excuse me, I have a game to watch.  I'm hoping for a resounding Texans victory.  It's about the only thing that will get the image of you massaging Brett Favre out of my mind.