Mario - better than chuck

The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Mario Williams.
 

Mario Williams doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
 

It is said that looking into Mario Williams’ eyes will reveal your future. For opposing quarterback this usually involves the scariest game of your life.
 

Mario Williams knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of quit. He does know the definition of “to suck” but that is because he once talked to Reggie Bush.
 

Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Mario Williams with "obstruction of justice." This is because even Mario Williams cannot stop Mario Williams

Mario Williams can split the atom, with his shoulder.

Mario Williams never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. Opposing QBs never go to the dentist because they no longer have teeth.
 

Mario Williams drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
 

Mario Williams once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
 

Most people fear the Reaper. Mario Williams considers him "a promising Rookie".

Mario Williams once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of QB" sandwich.

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was an exhibition game vs. Mario Williams and three seven year old girls. Mario won with a forced safety in overtime.