Questions Jacques Reeves Should Be Answering

Scanning the official team site this afternoon, I came upon a feature in which Jacques Reeves answered ten (10) questions in the aftermath of Friday night's game. I realize employees of a team-run site can't really take the gloves off when interviewing players, so it's with great humility that I pose a few questions I'd like Jacques Reeves to answer:

1. How did it feel to return to a stadium populated by fans who, having watched you for the past several years, were completely giddy to see you playing for the opposition?

2. What's been your favorite part about being a Texan so far? Got to be making grown men weep in frustration, right?

3. When the Texans offered you $20,000,000.00 to come to Houston, did you think they were (a) joking and/or (b) under the influence?

4. Do you and Petey Faggins ever swap jerseys? You know, as a goof? Because I want to believe it's been him wearing No. 35 the past three (3) weeks.

5. Is there an unwritten team rule that requires at least one Texans CB to give a seven (7) yard cushion to a WR at all times?

6. When you answered that you'd say you've performed "aright" and/or "OK" in the preseason thus far (see linked interview in this post), you were fooling around, weren't you?

7. Final question (for now, anyway): This whole preseason look of yours--we'll call it "Eau De Petey--...it's a ploy, right? You're suckering the opposition in, aren't you? Making them think they can target you with reckless abandon and without any repercussion, only to emerge in Week One as a lockdown corner who's worth a multi-year, multi-million dollar deal once the regular season starts? This is all part of your master plan, isn't it? Please tell me this is all part of your master plan. Please. Don't make me beg.

If you've got any hard-hitting questions that you believe Jacques Reeves should answer, feel free to leave them in the Comments below.