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Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Sunday's Game

No doubt about it--last week's "Three And Out" was likely as close as I'll ever get to credibility. You might think I'd quit while I was (relatively) ahead. But when has that philosophy ever worked? Besides in Vegas, I mean? Onward!

1. Your starting offensive line, barring another season-ending injury to someone while deplaning, will likely be Duane Brown, Kasey Studdard, Chris Myers, Antoine Caldwell, and Eric Winston. In other words, 40% of your starting OL is absent. What's more, the new 40% of your line flanks a center who's repeatedly been victimized. Methinks this bodes rather terribly for Steve Slaton and/or, God forbid, Chris "No Yards and a Cloud of Dust" Brown. Total rushing yards for your Houston Texans on Sunday: 79. And only because Kubes is going to insist upon 20+ carries.

2. Once upon a time, Kevin Walter was a Bengal. When K-Dub played his former team last year, he went off for 70 yards and 2 TDs. This year, I foresee more yards and less TDs. I'm calling 82 yards receiving and 1 TD.

3. If this one comes to pass, I'm on the next flight to Sin City: Tim Bulman strips Carson Palmer. Said fumble is recovered by Antonio Smith.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: Say what you will about Kubiak, but he's shown a knack for getting his charges ready to play the week after a loss. And aren't the Bengals primed for a letdown after the emotional intradivision wins they've had the past few weeks? It's very easy to talk yourself into predicting a Texans upset on Sunday. Too easy, I think. Cincinnati's defense is salty, and unlike the Texans, their offense boasts a running game that complements the passing game. In other words, the Bengals are a pretty balanced team. The Texans, of course, are not. Give me the balanced team playing at home over the unbalanced team playing on the road, letdown potential be damned. Texans 23, Bengals 27.

Texans vs Bengals coverage

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Predicting 4 yards per carry in the Texans run game...

That’s one way to undermine your credibility.

The true test in the life of a Texans fan is how gracefully you endure it.

by TexanKurt on Oct 16, 2009 4:05 PM CDT reply actions  

Not Exactly

I said 79 yards on more than 20 carries. Not exactly 4.0 yards per carry.

Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...

by Tim on Oct 16, 2009 4:17 PM CDT up reply actions  

3.95

get it right. lol

In Canada our balls are bigger

by canadian texan on Oct 16, 2009 4:51 PM CDT up reply actions  

79 Divided By...

21 (the minimum number to be “20+”) would be 3.76 yards per carry.

Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...

by Tim on Oct 16, 2009 5:37 PM CDT up reply actions  

misninterpretation on my part.

20 plus to me is anything over and including 20. i.e. 20+0

In Canada our balls are bigger

by canadian texan on Oct 29, 2009 4:50 PM CDT up reply actions  

Bernard Pollard

blocks a punt this week. Texans win 24-13.

You are banned from Music City Miracles.
Happy Now Tits?
You are banned from Blogging The Boys.

by CFHTim on Oct 16, 2009 4:15 PM CDT reply actions  

Texans win

24-14. The Defense will show up for 4 quarters (ok maybe 3) but that will be the difference maker. I’ll go with CFH Tim and say Pollard blocks a punt AND forces a fumble. Then again I’ve been drinking and so i’ll just say we win this week. L-W-L-W-L-W

Confucius says "man who stands on toilet, high on pot".

by Bobobigbro on Oct 16, 2009 6:09 PM CDT reply actions  

true prediction.

matt will be more accurate this game. i think OD and KW bust loose… i see Matt tossing 4 TDS and over 350 yds passing.

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by chrisd21 on Oct 17, 2009 9:00 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

.....

yup!!!! called it.

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by chrisd21 on Oct 18, 2009 3:19 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

Keep Drinking Bobobigbro....

Bengals will win because Cedric Benson is going to run all over the Texans’ defense.

Child Please

by Who-Dey on Oct 16, 2009 6:52 PM CDT reply actions  

Not so worried about him

Bigger RBs haven’t had much success against us this year. They held Thomas Jones, LenWhale, and Michael Bush in check. It’s the quick, small guys like Chris Johnson and Leon Washington who tend to gash us. And even then, they don’t just chip away; they get stuffed 3/4 times, then break off an 80-yarder.

Unless we go back to blowing containment and Benson finds some open cutback lanes, this game is gonna come down to the secondary for us. If DBs play like they did last week, we’ll get off the field on 3rd down and have a shot at this one.

by Nashmeister on Oct 16, 2009 9:08 PM CDT up reply actions  

no you didn't get the memo

we fixed our running defense. We’re cool now.

Smushiak will take us to the playoffs in 2009.

by texanphil on Oct 16, 2009 9:14 PM CDT up reply actions  

The thing is the way the sports media covers it nobody understands why our run defense has been bad. I was watching NFL network and they were knocking our run defense and didn’t even discuss the last couple weeks except to show the one or two good runs the cards had.

by nolander on Oct 17, 2009 12:43 PM CDT up reply actions  

Smacks self on forehead

If we’ve fixed our run D, my junk is now 18", and Matt’s taken pics of it for his “Cock of Fame.”

Note to self: Insert something witty here.

by bigfatdrunk on Oct 17, 2009 1:52 PM CDT up reply actions  

my response was

sarcastic at best.

Smushiak will take us to the playoffs in 2009.

by texanphil on Oct 17, 2009 7:52 PM CDT up reply actions  

oops

Sorry. should’ve known better.

Note to self: Insert something witty here.

by bigfatdrunk on Oct 17, 2009 10:04 PM CDT up reply actions  

my prediction...

pollard pops the hell out of ocho-puto…and recovers a fumble and runs it back for the score!!!! texans 27 bengals 20

by turnip73 on Oct 16, 2009 10:09 PM CDT reply actions  

formations and retards.

why in the hell do we motion Leach out of the slot now? seems like it’s just for show. and another thing. Antonio Smith is dumb as SHIT. if this was Madden, his awareness would be at like 48. seriously. this guy bites on screens (“oh yay free ruuuuush! maybe dey forgot to block me!”) he blocks himself out of runs AT THE SNAP (“i bet i can hit him better if i meet him at the LINE instead of da BACKFEILL!”) he’s a lineman’s dream. allz they gotta do is finish him off. they fukked up on this signing…

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by chrisd21 on Oct 17, 2009 8:46 AM CDT via mobile reply actions  

Would you rather have Anthony Weaver?

When I'm on the mic, I'm like global warming, you can't ignore me.

by tehGrindCrusher on Oct 17, 2009 11:15 AM CDT up reply actions  

pick my poison?

Antonio Smith is Weaver 2.0.

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by chrisd21 on Oct 17, 2009 5:59 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

Disagree

Antonio Smith has been a lot better than Weaver, even if he hasn’t registered a sack. Go look at the safety against Oakland. It’s entirely down to Smith moving the O-line into the end zone. I defy you to find even one similar play that Weaver has ever made.

There’s more to being a d-lineman than getting sacks.

When I'm on the mic, I'm like global warming, you can't ignore me.

by tehGrindCrusher on Oct 18, 2009 1:21 AM CDT up reply actions  

I prefer

Weaver +1. Same Corpse, except this one comes standard with basic motor functions. He’s essentially a Zombie!, Weaver on the other hand could easily be outstripped in every measurable category save Height by this fellow.

Looking forward to not having an 8-8 year!

by BattleRedHusker on Oct 18, 2009 5:43 AM CDT up reply actions   1 recs

I think by the fact they signed Barwin they know he isn’t the long term solution, but he was the best we could get.

by nolander on Oct 17, 2009 12:44 PM CDT up reply actions  

well...

at least Barwin is smart enough to get his arms up to deflect passes. seems like we could have addressed our secondary issues instead of throwing all that money at Smith.

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by chrisd21 on Oct 17, 2009 6:03 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

Apples/Oranges

Barwin was signed to be a pure pass-rushing specialist. Smith is more of an allrounder. Some pass rush, some run support.

When I'm on the mic, I'm like global warming, you can't ignore me.

by tehGrindCrusher on Oct 18, 2009 1:21 AM CDT up reply actions  

Superman and Wolverine suit up for the Texans....

Kubiak pulls them out on 4 and goal.

Texans lose:

24 – 21

"An open mind is like a fortress with it's gates unbarred and unguarded."

The ROSENFAIL : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAKAKE-uq-8&feature=related

by TexansForever on Oct 17, 2009 1:29 PM CDT reply actions  

no no no

we’re gonna start kicking the field goal. Even down by 7 with less than a minute to go, if we get another 4th and goal at the one.

Small victories.

Smushiak will take us to the playoffs in 2009.

by texanphil on Oct 17, 2009 7:54 PM CDT up reply actions  

We fixed our run issues?

I missed that.

The Raiders are the Raiders. If they had Walter Payton and Jim Brown, they’d still find a way to muck up the running game.

The Cardinals have one of the worst running attacks in the NFL.

by HoustonDiehards on Oct 17, 2009 3:55 PM CDT reply actions  

The Raiders have a pretty good running attack

The problem is they can’t pass themselves out of a hat so defenses can simply focus on the run and let the Raiders defend their own passing game.

I don’t think we “fixed” anything, but it’s true that all season long we’ve actually played the run very well on average, we just also have given up alot of big plays. If you took the 10+ yard runs away teams are probably averaging 2 yards or less per run vs the Texans. Because of that, bigger more plodding type of backs are easier to deal with, because even when an assignment is blown and a huge gap opens, often we’re able to recover fast enough to prevent the mega huge gain. I think Benson has enough speed though to make a couple of those long runs if we don’t tackle well at first contact, but there’ll consistently be contact at or near the line of scrimmage.

I don’t want to jinx it or anything, but the Bengals seem like a team that’s pretty highly overated at this point to me. They have a good record and all, but they could have lost any of the 4 games they’ve won so far easilly. They’ve shown toughness in winning some close games, but in doing so they’ve also shown the inability to pull away and take over a game early on. Eventually the “cardiac cats” will run out of lives and start dropping those close ones, and even more likely, they’ll get jumped on early and be unable to play from behind effectively.

by Bryan72076 on Oct 18, 2009 9:45 AM CDT up reply actions  

Bengals defense much better

Love to see how well Johnson and Walter will do against Joseph and Hall. Normally I’d give receivers an edge. But I think Schaub will be rushed by the Bengals front line into throwing interceptions. Bad Odom hasn’t got a sack lately and he is due for one. Don’t count Rey out. He will get his share of tackles and sacks. Texans can win only if their OL holds up. Otherwise, the Bengals will walk all over them.

by Richard L on Oct 18, 2009 9:36 AM CDT reply actions  

If the Bengals are over-aggressive up front

I look for Slaton to have a monster game on draws and screens early. The Bengals are better defensively than they have been, but I think their defense is also overated at this point. Houston has the ability to expose their defense and put up major yards as while the Bengals are better defensively, they’re not a balanced defense and Houston’s offense can attack a defensive in multiple ways. If they concentrate on putting pressure on Schaub they’ll succeed in stopping the long pass for the most part, but Daniels, Slaton, and Leach will be open underneath all day long, as well as the WRs on some occasions.

by Bryan72076 on Oct 18, 2009 9:52 AM CDT up reply actions  

Also

If the Bengals continue to rely on 2 deep help from both safeties to help their corners, you’re going to see a couple plays where Daniels is wide open in the seams, there’s not a LB in the league that can cover him.

by Bryan72076 on Oct 18, 2009 10:01 AM CDT up reply actions  

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