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Proof That I am Not a Fruitcake: Playoffs are Still Possible

21859_fruitcake_medium

via img.macjams.com

How can the Texans get into the playoffs?

The Texans are 5-7 and the playoffs sound impossible. Let's all start with the premise that they need to win their remaining games against Seattle, St Louis, Miami and New England, making the Texans 9-7.

The teams they are trying to pass by are the Denver Broncos (8-4), Miami Dolphins (6-6), NY Jets (6-6), Baltimore Ravens (6-6), Pittsburgh Steelers (6-7), Jacksonville Jaguars (7-5), and Tennessee Titans (5-7).

Okay, so they need to finish ahead of all of those teams except one, but I am going to show you a way they can go by all of them. I am assuming that New England, Cincy and San Diego hold on to win their respective Divisions. Indy can’t be caught. Now, let’s look, shall we?

The Denver Broncos (8-4) can not help the Texans, except by losing all of their games and finishing 8-8, because they do not play any of the other wildcard contenders. They have remaining games against Indy, Oakland, Philly, and KC. If they lose all of the games and the Texans win out, the Texans will pass Denver for a wildcard spot. We all knew that the Broncos'  early season success was a fluke, didn't we? One win or loss any other way puts them into a tie and subject to the tie-breaking rules, which are too complicated, therefore we will dispense with them for the purpose of this demonstration. The Broncos finish 8-8.

The Jacksonville Jaguars (7-5) have beaten the Texans twice, giving the Jags the edge in any tie-breaking scenario. The Jags have remaining games against Miami, Indy, New England and resurgent Cleveland. If the Texans win-out, the Jags need to lose three games to finish 8-8 for the Texans to get ahead in the wildcard race. Let’s give them loses to New England, Indy and Miami, but a win against Cleveland. This scenario hurts a little because it gives Miami a win, but I have another way of making up for that, which I hope you will approve of, as you will see a little later…. The Jags finish 8-8.

The NY Jets (6-6) is another team that has beaten the Texans heads-up, so it is important to top them record-wise. The Jets have remaining games against Tampa Bay, Atlanta, Indy, and Cincy.  Again, like the Broncos, the Jets cannot help the Texans except by losing, because they have no games against any wildcard contenders. So, the Jets need to go no better than 2-2 as the Texans win all their games. Losses to Indy and Cincy to end their season would be quite righteous, as their fanbase is getting used to that kind of letdown. We, here in Houston, prefer the mid-season roller-coaster kind of letdown. The Jets finish 8-8.

The Miami Dolphins (6-6) have a remaining game against the Texans, as well as games against Jacksonville, Tennessee and Pittsburgh; all wildcard contenders. The Dolphins need to lose two games while the Texans are winning out. I already counted the loss against the Texans and a win against the Jags. I’m giving them their second loss to the Titans! Why?  Because, we all know how much it would burn Bud Adams’ butt to know that he helped the Houston Texans get into the playoffs, is why!  Would there be a proper or improper way to thank him? A fruitcake in the shape of a "bird" comes to mind. Miami finishes 8-8.

The Baltimore Ravens (6-6) have remaining games against Detroit, Chicago, Pittsburgh and Oakland. The Ravens need to lose two as the Texans win out. I am thinking that the Lions and Raiders can't do it. I think we need to rely on Chicago and Pittsburgh somehow summoning up the ability to salvage their team pride and doing the Texans’ dirty work for them. Baltimore finishes 8-8.

The World Champion Pittsburgh Steelers (6-7) are going down faster than the Titanic. Five losses in a row is unprecedented. The Steelers just need to lose one more game while the Texans win out to get the Texans ahead in the final standings. They play Green Bay, Baltimore and Miami. I just gave them wins against the Ravens and Dolphins, so Green Bay, it has to be! Go Packers! The Steelers finish 8-8.

Lastly, the Tennessee Titans (5-7) are deadlocked with the Texans by league and head-to-head records.  The Titans have remaining games against St Louis, Miami, San Diego and Seattle and need to lose one of them. I already gave them a win over Miami, "Thanks Bud!" your fruitcake is on order! Is it a stretch to give them a loss to the Chargers or maybe even a loss to either St Louis or Seattle? Not if you are a true believer, it isn’t! The Titans finish 8-8.

So, there you have it folks! This Texans' season is not over (I have that FanPost already written and ready to go…) and there is still HOPE! I showed you that it is truly possible that this year’s Texans team can still be a playoff team, in fact the No. 1 Wildcard Team, and there is no reason to be thinking about next year’s draft or available free agents. There is still meaningful football to be played this season, and by the Texans! Fumbles, interceptions, misappropriated time-outs, bad red-flag challenges, penalty calls, wild-ass cut blocks, and missed field goals can still go our way! ...Not to mention, the above scenario will fry the NFL's computers while trying to calculate the second wildcard spot!

If it doesn't all happen as schemed, I will have an interesting fruitcake to share with all of you this holiday season….of course, I can always save it until next year!

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It's entirely possible...

especially since it seems everyone ahead of the Texans wants to keep losing.

If it happened, I think my head would explode though.

by TexansDC on Dec 11, 2009 1:45 PM CST reply actions  

If we had won last week

We would be sitting pretty. If we win out I think we will tie with Jax and lose the tie breaker, which will piss me off to no end.

by nolander on Dec 11, 2009 2:14 PM CST reply actions  

or the week before

or the week before.

it is so depressing

Mount Cody in round 1

by texanphil on Dec 11, 2009 6:29 PM CST up reply actions  

Just a quick point and a question.

Miami is only 1 game back from New England in the AFC East, so there is still a possibility of them winning the division. If we were to do that, how would that affect your guys’ chances with New England in the Wild Card hunt intstead of the Dolphins?

Also, for the Jets to be any threat for the Wild Card, they have to finish with a better record than the Dolphins, as we have beat them twice this year so we win any tiebreaker with them.

I’m just curious as the game against you guys is the one that worries me the most. The Texans have been a consistent thorn in the Dolphins side.

"Why don't you put that in a memo and entitle it 'Shit I Already Know'!" - Sarge from Red vs. Blue

I can't brain today, I have the dumb.

28 "Phinsider Feud" Points

by Chupathingy on Dec 11, 2009 2:19 PM CST reply actions  

Depends on how NE finishes the season

Houston hosts NE the last week of the season so if there is only a game difference, Houston would hold their destiny in that game. I dont know all the tie breaker scenario’s but the likelihood of NE going 1-2 over the next three weeks is pretty small (that would make them 8-7 going into the game with Houston, who would be 8-7 if we win out til then). Miami winning the division would most likely be bad for the Texans because it means its a wild card hunt team winning, and we just cant have that right now. The best scenario would be for NE to win out and everyone else lose.

To all Houston sports fans, Houston is the 4th biggest city in America, there will be traffic on the way to your respective sports game. Come Early, Be Loud, Stay Late.

by TexasHoosier on Dec 11, 2009 5:12 PM CST up reply actions  

Well, for us to beat out NE AND Jax, wouldn’t NE have to lose to Carolina and the Bills and probably then Beat Jax for us. NE hasn’t been doing well lately though.

by nolander on Dec 11, 2009 5:29 PM CST up reply actions  

yeah I guess I wasnt thinking about Jax

"Every time you turn on ESPN you see Bama" - Earl Thomas' answer when asked what excites him most about the National Championship.

To all Houston sports fans, Houston is the 4th biggest city in America, there will be traffic on the way to your respective sports game. Come Early, Be Loud, Stay Late.

by TexasHoosier on Dec 11, 2009 5:46 PM CST up reply actions  

Jax could totally tank. They do play Miami, NE, and the Colts. If the colts don’t rest their players in week 16 we could control our destiny in week 17.

by nolander on Dec 11, 2009 6:11 PM CST up reply actions  

very true

but we gotta win for any of that to be possible and thats been a little bit of a problem lately.

"Every time you turn on ESPN you see Bama" - Earl Thomas' answer when asked what excites him most about the National Championship.

To all Houston sports fans, Houston is the 4th biggest city in America, there will be traffic on the way to your respective sports game. Come Early, Be Loud, Stay Late.

by TexasHoosier on Dec 11, 2009 6:31 PM CST up reply actions  

Looking it up, I’ll most definitly be hoping you guys go 3-1 the rest of the way. Beat the Jags and the Pats and of course the Tits and you would be doing our non existant playoff hopes alot of help.

by nolander on Dec 11, 2009 5:31 PM CST up reply actions  

You lost me at...

…“resurgent Cleveland”.

There is no hope for the playoffs. Stop the torture.

"An open mind is like a fortress with it's gates unbarred and unguarded."

The ROSENFAIL : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAKAKE-uq-8&feature=related

by TexansForever on Dec 11, 2009 2:43 PM CST reply actions  

Resurgent is a stretch...

but the Browns have played better over the past 5 weeks. Last night, they looked like defensive beasts.

by TexansDC on Dec 11, 2009 2:52 PM CST up reply actions  

Their defense has looked pretty good at times this year, mostly I’m going to say because of Rob Ryan.

by nolander on Dec 11, 2009 3:06 PM CST up reply actions  

It is little catch phrases like "resurgent Cleveland"

that create the need for you to respond, which it turn earns you a specially shaped fruitcake, TF! Bon appetit!

I suppose if all of the stars, moons and planets align it could be possible, but what are the chances of that?

by Rip Jersey on Dec 11, 2009 3:48 PM CST up reply actions  

tits are tied with us

so in the scenario where we win out, why do they need to lose 2 games?

I figure one should do it, right?

Mount Cody in round 1

by texanphil on Dec 11, 2009 6:27 PM CST reply actions  

they are 5-7

not 6-7, I think thats where your math is special

Mount Cody in round 1

by texanphil on Dec 11, 2009 6:30 PM CST up reply actions  

Me on Dec. 1
Hope is like a treasure which one cannot carry alone.
We’re a long shot from the playoffs…. There’s still a chance… though highly improbable, is still a chance. The broncos would need to lose two games (most likely colts and eagles) Steelers and ravens would need to lose at least one more… and theres so many 5-6 teams out there… theres still a shot. A long shot but its still something. I can actually feel weight on my shoulders…. i can only imagine what the players and coaches are feeling. 5 more games…. 6-5 jags… 4-7 seahawks….1-10 rams…. 5-6 dolphins… 7-4 patriots…

I know its been a cliche lately but these next games have the possibility of being big games for us.

I’m still there with you, but a little less enthusiastic.

by Ivan A on Dec 11, 2009 6:38 PM CST reply actions  

Actually....

Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.

"An open mind is like a fortress with it's gates unbarred and unguarded."

The ROSENFAIL : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAKAKE-uq-8&feature=related

by TexansForever on Dec 11, 2009 9:02 PM CST up reply actions  

Actually its a two-street.

one way leads to your disappointment
the other leads to victory.

All the texans need to do is turn around, right?

by Ivan A on Dec 12, 2009 12:06 AM CST up reply actions  

Actually its a two way street.

one way leads to your disappointment
the other leads to victory.

All the texans need to do is turn around, right?

by Ivan A on Dec 12, 2009 12:08 AM CST up reply actions  

Smdh

At this thread. And how does this prove you’re not a fruitcake. Why does that even matter.

by Titans suc on Dec 13, 2009 3:10 AM CST reply actions  

actually was intened to

attract fruitcakes….seems I got one!

I suppose if all of the stars, moons and planets align it could be possible, but what are the chances of that?

by Rip Jersey on Dec 13, 2009 6:31 AM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Heres to the colts handing the Jags and Jets a win when they rest all their players sigh

by nolander on Dec 13, 2009 5:12 PM CST reply actions  

If they were smart...

they’d realize that strategy is a complete FAIL.

by TexansDC on Dec 13, 2009 5:22 PM CST up reply actions  

Chances are pretty slim...

I don’t see that happening, but I really hope it does.

The Texans really need to be 7-6 right now to have a decent chance.

Making the playoffs will practically require a miracle.

Mario > VY > Bush
Schaub > Romo

Go TEXANS!
Go TCU FROGS!

by MFriday on Dec 13, 2009 7:17 PM CST reply actions  

Well

it looks like things played out this week exactly as he said. So who knows?

by TexansDC on Dec 13, 2009 8:17 PM CST up reply actions  

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