“It Will Happen!”

Great tongue-in-cheek report! I wish I was there! Envious, here….

I think the motto for this season should be “Fuck Bud Adams”. Not that I think it will happen, but I would love it if we somehow swept the Titans this season, and they ended up last in the division. Schadenfreude’s a motherfucker.

other notable mentions include
“Travis Johnson, Be There”
“Jacoby ‘Butterfingers’ Jones <3 Momma”
“DeMeco Ryans: Well? Pay the man!”
“Beer Helps with the Pain”

oh.. and Tim, for God’s sake you should have gotten TJ’s autograph :( A. woulda taken 5 seconds. B. The look on his face would be worth it. then upon recieving said “Signature” spit on it, crumple it up, and throw it on the ground before promptly grinding your heel into it.

I suggest, “These are just some needles and herbs for my recovery” – Hard to Kill.

By the way, I watched the entire YouTube clip. While I agree that it is ingenius in the same mannor that Roadhouse and Commando are, I have to say that I have definitely seen better acting in porn.

Couldnt stay for long, but I got to walk through the locker room. It was kinda funny. Everyones locker had shoes and shirts and other miscellaneous items. Then I got to Dunta’s and there was absolutely nothing. But it was a good experience and im glad I went. And Travis Johnsons line was pretty short. That was also pretty funny.

Go Texans

“Fuck you, Dunta”

“Buy bfd a beer RIGHT EFFIN’ NOW!”

Thank you for your support.

The Texans…Are you Ready to Secede?

I accompanied Tim to the all access event last night, and I honestly can’t comprehend how many people were in line to get Brian Cushing’s autograph. If it were Seagal, I would understand. And BTW, best line in that scene: “who’s hotdog is dis? ’At youhs?”…best thing that happens twice: the dude getting shoved in the phone booth. Also, a buddy of mine from Ridgewood, NJ suggested that after the Texans drafted Cushing, we should all start talking in thick NJ accents and wearing marinara-stained wife beaters to the games.

I basically raged the entire evening on everything I hate about the Texans…and I’m having trouble justifying being a fan of the team after I put them all in writing. In no particular order:

1. The Pep Band: Why does this exist? Who is demanding this? If the Pep Band started not showing up to games would anybody even notice? If we start a movement today to abolish the Pep Band, could we have them disbanded by kickoff weekend?

2. They play “I Feel Like a Woman” during games when the cheerleaders are dancing. This song should never be heard during a football game. Ever. Might I suggest “Cherry Pie” or “Crazy Bitch” as alternatives???

3. The Texans Cheerleaders are not hot. And they wear too much fabric. I think this all boils down to one problem: the Texans must have a woman in charge of selecting cheerleaders. These ladies are not supposed to be role models for little girls. It’s much less complicated than that, Texans management. Don’t over think it. I could give a rat’s ass if they can dance. Go to TMC. There are plenty of candidates working there.

4. They lose. A lot.

5. Manufactured traditions where the crowd is supposed to finish the announcer’s sentence…“that’s another Houston Texans”…“FIRST DOWN!!!” “at wide reciever, Andre”…“JOHNSON!!!” This is stupid. And, in my opinion, lazy announcing. I hope their PA announcer only draws half a paycheck.

6. “Disney-fication”: I responded to a season ticket holders survey earlier this week, and I think my free-entry field summed up my displeasure on this topic…"Sometimes I feel like the Texans are really missing the core NFL demographic. The NFL experience in Houston is sanitized for family consumption, which, in my opinion, completely misses the mark. I’ve been to NFL games in other cities, and honestly, the amount of what I call “Disney-fication” of the NFL by the Texans is embarrassing. Look at the advertising during any NFL game. They target young males. Period. Why? Because that’s who spends their hard-earned dollars on NFL tickets, merchandise, and concessions. If you started gearing the Texans game day experience toward your core demographic, perhaps there wouldn’t be so many Titans “fans” at every Texans home game—which is what you should be most embarrassed about. A team that LEFT TOWN 15 YEARS AGO has just as many fans in this town as you do. Ridiculous. "

7. “It’s Football Time in Houston” by Clay Walker. Need I say more? I preferred the old Texans fight song. At least that was so bad it was funny rather than just plain embarrassing.

8. Yelling profanities at opposing fans will get you kicked out. This is a football game. Not the freaking ballet.

9. Bob McNair’s obsession with having “good guys” on the team. Give me some a-holes that can play football.

10. The roof policy. God forbid anybody be less than completely comfortable at any time during a game. Another thing…WHY IS THERE A LOWER BOUND ON THE ROOF POLICY??? If it’s 45 degrees and sunny, why wouldn’t you open the roof?

That’s all I have for now…

Texans…superbowl bound…HELL YEAH BITCHES!!!

I put out, but I insist on pitching.

1) I don’t care what you say…Demeco Ryans should have been at the event to show how money won’t affect his play going into the season. If he wants to the money that he deserves, you can’t tell me that the fans can’t cause enough of a stink to help push the public sentiment on McNair IF it comes to that. Even Owen Daniels was up in the VIP part of the event. As I was up there before the main event, I can tell you that Demeco’s non-attendance was a last-minute occurrance. Meaning he took his ball and went home with very little advanced notice. There is no reason to start looking bitter before the Texans make you one of the highest paid players on the team. I thought that took a little luster off his helmet on his part (or his agent’s) for cancelling literally within an hour of the event.

2) Since we are a relatively new team, some manufactured traditions have to start for us as fans to figure out what works and what doesn’t. To this day, the best fans in terms of involvement during an NFL game (at least to me) are the Kansas City Chiefs. My buddy and I caught the Texans upset win over the Chiefs a few years back and were in awe of everything the fans did before, during, and after the game. Of course, then you realized they have a 40+ year head start on the Texans, and it gives you a little hope.
-Clay’s song is better than the HS fight song they tried for a year.
-The last name chant has never really worked.
-The 1st down chant is finally catching on with more fans in the crowd.
-The Pep Band is fun for the tailgating and for one or two songs during the game. Of course, I don’t have to sit by them either. I don’t pay them so whatever…

3) I don’t think the Texans are anymore Disney that other teams. I have been to see Oilers, Cowboys, Titans, Chiefs, Jaguars, Bengals, Bucs, & Browns home games over the years & I don’t see any stripper pole or lack thereof at their games. It’s just a game with some good and not so good tailgating. In fact, The stripper-fication of the Rockets cheerleaders has actually made it a little scary when you are the Toyota Center when you consider families are actually at those games. Believe me, as a Texans season ticket holder since day one, there are plenty of boobs (real ones and ones who act like them) out tailgating before and after the game for all to see. The cheerleaders are just fine as they are although I do agree that the music could be updated just a tad.

4) Yelling Profanities at opposing fans? Seriously? I actually like how our fans have a little class vs. the Raiders and Eagles fans of the world. Let the team do the talking for us. I can’t believe that this is even a debateable subject? If an opposing fan does something to you, knock ‘em out. Beyond that, just because a family wearing an opposing jersey is sitting in front of you, it doesn’t mean you get to yell them down? Just watch the freakin’ game.

5) Bob McNair does allow for drafting of questionable guys. Just google Travis Johnson and some of his college antics. I am still pissed we passed on DJ for TJ and now TJ looks to be on his way out the door.

I think the 2009 Texans slogan should be a page out of the Doors songbook –
“Break on thru to the other side!”

I would have sworn my invite said “there will be food and beverages for sale”. I really meant to go, but I caught some kind of bug over the holiday and was sick on Mon-Wed. Damn coughing, sneezing rugrats. I shouldda been smart enough to keep my distance. Oh well, what’s family for but to spread disease.

I’ll be there next year.

I like “Divisional Destruction” since im bettin the texans win more than two games in the AFC south this year. But if i had to chose one i think it be the one Robertpz said. “Break on thru to the other side!”

Be nice to Dunta!!!! He’s been nothing but good to us since ‘04. Can you blame him if he’s a little sour from being screwed?

Hmmm. I get where yall r coming from. But I see it as Dunta getting screwed. Maybe he is getting damn good money but he was promised that he was not getting franchised and he was franchised. And anyway Dunta says he wants to end his career here in houston. Sigh…. guess its just my loyalties tryin to vouch for the man. He is being a douche though. The least he could do would be to show up to OTA’s. Then instead of all of us saying “Fuck you Dunta” We’d be sayin PAY THE MAN like we are about DeMeco.

I think Dunta is crazy if he thinks he is going to get more money from another team for being a starting CB. Now he could probably take less money and be an off-the-bench player for a contender, but no way he gets more than the Texans are willing to offer.

Demeco (bear with me for a moment) reminds me of Emmitt Smith’s first contract negotiation. He was getting sub $500K the first three years while putting up solid stats. Thus, when he wanted to get paid on his contract renewal, he wanted money for the future and for the past. I bet that is what Demeco is shooting for especially with the shelf life of current NFL LBs.

I still think that is why we drafted two TEs last month because if it comes down to between OD and DR in terms of money, DR will win every time.

Of course, if the CBA falls thru after this season, I think we can hold onto OD and DR with whatever tags we want to place on them for another 2-3 years. At least that is what I heard

I like them. Why? Let me count the ways:

1. They are big time Texan fans. Any big time Texan fans are friends of mine.
2. More specifically, I know a bunch of them and they are really nice people who spend more time on a hobby then they likely get back out of it. And have random people complain about them despite all their hard work. Sort of like bloggers. I identify.
3. The most important reason? Kids like them. I like kids. Therefore, I like the Bull Pen Pep Band.
4. Like the cheerleaders, the BPPB goes to a lot of events to represent the team. If cheerleaders and BPPB are doing events, it puts less demands on the team, ergo, allows them to do their primary job.
5. Some people in the tailgates would be sad if there were no BPPB. They actually have a special song they play for the St. Arnold’s tailgate.
6. The Texans have little tradition. BPPB is one tradition. The Clay Walker song eventually grew on me over the years. I’d like to have some traditions over the years instead of changing things up every year when new people get hired.
7. Complaining about BPPB is like complaining about mascots. Maybe they aren’t your cup of tea, but they don’t do any harm.

I still think that regardless about Dunta’s contract situation we still need his help in the secondary. Our other corners are no where close to Dunta’s caliber. He was by far our best corner when he just barley recovered from that horrible injury. None of the other corners have put up the stats Dunta has and i dont think any of them could stack up against an old Torry Holt, Reggie Wayne, or Kenny Britt twice a year. Except maybe “Fred Bennett of ’07” and Glover Quinn if he continues to get better. I mean seriously, who would you rather have leading the secondary? Jacques Reeves or Dunta Robinson?

Knowing what we know now, and assuming he won’t show up until (like Pancakes claims) the Monday of the first regular season game, would anyone be upset if Rick Smith was able to get another team to give us a 2nd or 3rd round pick for him?