Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Sunday's Game

Time for the return of yet another regular in-season feature--the much ballyhooed (read: minimally ballyhooed, if ballyhooed at all) "Three And Out." Each week, I'll make three (3) predictions concerning statistics, plays, performance, and the like that are guaranteed to occur in Sunday's Texans game. How often are said predictions accurate? Virtually never. Remember--I'm a moron. Nevertheless, I have a microphone and you don't, so you will read every damn prediction I make!

1. Gimpy ankle or not, Matt Schaub's going to be just fine on Sunday. He's going to take a couple of licks from Rex Ryan's defense, and we'll all hold our breath waiting for him to get up, but he's going to make it through. If you repeat the preceding sentence enough times, you will start to believe it. Only took me 19 sob-filled mutterings to become convinced that Schaub would play and play well. Try it.

Final stats for The Schaub: 22-29 for 241 yards with 2 TD and 1 INT.

2. DeMeco Ryans registers a sack. We all wonder aloud why it was that he wasn't turned loose more last year. We all then remember Richard Smith and get angry.

DeMeco sacking Mark Sanchez isn't much of a bold prediction, so I'm upping the ante by also predicting that Fred Bennett picks Sanchez off.

3. A bit of a downer here...I don't see a huge game for Steve Slaton. The offensive line will struggle against the Jets' 3-4, and I think Slaton's going to find the sledding tough. I foresee a final stat line of 17 carries for 65 yards and no TDs.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: As I said yesterday, give me the team that's starting a veteran at QB and playing at home. On balance, I expect a fairly ugly game with a few big plays here and there. Call it Texans 20, Jets 13.

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