Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Sunday's Game

Mario WILL have at least one sack. And Antonio smith will assist on one tackle, good investment Texans.

The tits eek out a tight, low-scoring affair. I think we keep Johnson fairly contained for about 100 total yards (they’re going to feed him constantly, throughout), but Gage sneaks one in on a jumpball, in which Dunta is made to look like the fuggin bitch that he is.
Tits: 23-20. I did have 21-20, but you know Bironas is going to nail us to the cross.

Side prop: Little Sissy Bitch Boy, Courtland Finnegan gets hurt on a punt return, and the breath is knocked from the stadium for a while when we score off the consequential fumble. Not a fumble return, mind you.

Do not make any anti steve mcnair comments, they get a little bent out of shape

I’ll make my first post a positive one:
I predict the texans win 20-17 texans. I just really expect the O-line to play much better against the titans, and i think our secondary will be much better with eugene wilson and hopefully reeves. And maybe Dunta will remember how to tackle.

Here’s Mine (BBing from a hotel one block from the French Quarter of N’awlins)

(1) First sack of the season for the Texans goes to Connor Barwin, as does the second and third…for a three sack afternoon! (Obviosly not sober here on Friday afternoon in the Big Easy)

(2) Jacoby Jones silence the “music” with a PR TD, putting the Texans into a third quarter lead!

(3) Steve Slaton and Chris Brown, as “Wonder and Awe” make their debut as the newest dynamically-named duo, and they ball-control the Texans to a 17-13 win.

is CBrown scored on the second play of the game.

Because we all know he won’t play after that, due to injury.

They know him there, they are going for his (ankle, knee, fingernail… whatever it is, he’ll be hurt). Remember last year? We were misled last week, I do believe.

Collins torches the secondary for 320 yards, 2 touchdowns and isn’t touched by the Texans defense all day.

Chris Johnson racks up 140 total yards and a touchdown.

Titans sack Shaub 5 times, pick him off twice, and return one for a touchdown.

Lendale White runs over Dunta for a 25 yard touchdown and the rout is on

Titans embarass Houston 34-12.

I think the Titans will be so concerned about stopping Steve Slaton from getting another 100 yards, that they’ll use a higher proportion of run blitzes to pass blitzes than normal. I think this will in turn let Andre Johnson have a huge day.

I think that the Texans will be in this game, and I have a feeling they will find a way to win.

the titans don’t blitz almost at all right? They’ll be able to stuff slaton with their base 4-3 defense, they are that good.

should win, but I think the Texans put up a real fight.

Super Mario and Antonio Smith get after Collins.

1) The Texans employ state-of-the-art radio jamming technology to interrupt the play call from the Titans’ coaches to Collins and replace it with Jerry Jeff Walker songs. As a result, Collins attempts to two-step with Johnson at the line of scrimmage. Mario Williams manages to poke the ball out from in between them and take it to the house for six. Collins and Johnson are too entranced by each other to notice and spend the rest of the game on the sideline scrapbooking.

2) Vince Young enters the game and promptly rips a long run off for an apparent touchdown, only to look up and see Casey Studdard with a bottle of Patron on the sidelines. Vince promptly veers to the Texans sideline, rips off his jersey and pads, takes a big swig of tequila, grabs a lighter from a fan, and does his best St Elmo’s fire impersonation. LenDale White takes the rest of the Titans’ snaps as qb.

3) Upon seeing LenDale White at qb, Frank Bush has a nervous breakdown and makes the Texans line up in a 6-5 defense with no down linemen. White rolls up 556 yards of total offense against the Texans until the Texans realize they can stop him by blitzing Matt Turk on every play.

Texans lose 73-11.

that the Texans actually show up and regain some respect. This past week has been a real depressing experience for all the koolaid sippers, like myself, that really, REALLY believed that this was the year. One horrendous game does not a season make, but an 0-2 start according to recent historical trends reduces our chances of making the playoffs to about 1 in 7.5. That being known, this is an absolute must game for both teams, and therefore a real good chance to see how we stack up against a tough Titans team.

GO TEXANS!!!!!!!!

1. Dunta Robinson will have all writing utensils removed from his possession at least 3 hours before gametime.

2. Owen Daniels will score the first TD of the game.

3. Slaton holds on to the ball this time and scores his first TD of the season, too.