A Fully Operational Battle Station?
by tehGrindCrusher on Jan 12, 2010 11:34 AM CST
in Events
112 comments
via scrapetv.com
Greetings fellow BRBers. You wouldn't believe what just happened. Turns out if you pump enough Zima into Tim and keep him primed with Filipino prison dance videos you gain power over his inner-most feelings and thoughts. Result: your friendly neighborhood Texans blog has another writer. Score!
In any event, I'm super thrilled to join the BRB team. With the line up of heavy hitters assembled at this blog, I feel like the token Pittsburgh Pirate or Washington National on the NL All-Star team. My plan is to do a weekly item on whatever I feel like. If you guys have any suggestions, by all means leave them in the comments.
I also plan on abusing my new-found authority to do things like this:
At this point, we probably have enough writers on this site now to manage to put together enough fluff to get us through the offseason. Here's to an offseason where every move our beloved franchise makes is the right one which leads playoffs and more!
Toodles,
Your friendly neighborhood tehGrindCrusher.
2 recs |
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Jeebus.
ALL THE NEW CONTENT! IT BURNS!
Rivers sure know how to keep his mouth shut when it comes to surprises.
It’s like Team America up in this bitch. I applaud Tim for stepping it up and hiring new writers to make this off-season more fun.
You all bleaking my barrs
Hans Brix!!
I always assumed "You're The Reason God Made Oklahoma" would be some sort of country music diss track. Live and learn, I guess.
From what I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.N.C.E has gathered, it would be 9/11 times 100.
Gary Johnston: 9/11 times a hundred? Jesus, that’s…
Spottswoode: Yes, 91,100.
Chris: Basically, all the worst parts of the bible.
by Jordann on Jan 12, 2010 11:48 AM CST up reply actions 2 recs
*in my sherman klump's granny voice*
who dat call my name?
Michael: It is going to up in Tahoe a couple more days. Maybe you could take a date?
Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?
Michael: The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.
http://www.twitter.com/doobieman21
Pearl Harbor sucked
Just a little bit more than this pooooooooooooooooooost
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter
by riversmccown on Jan 12, 2010 12:34 PM CST up reply actions
MATT
DAMON
In Canada our balls are bigger
by canadian texan on Jan 12, 2010 3:17 PM CST up reply actions
and congrats!!!!!!!!!
lunch on YOU at the flying saucer. that is all.
Michael: It is going to up in Tahoe a couple more days. Maybe you could take a date?
Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?
Michael: The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.
http://www.twitter.com/doobieman21
They'll let anyone write these days....
Just promise me the other football is fair game in your posts.
by DisplacedTexan on Jan 12, 2010 12:10 PM CST reply actions
I will happily discuss any sport in my posts
Except competitive eating. Fuck that sport.
The Texans.
by tehGrindCrusher on Jan 12, 2010 1:46 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Being as competitive eating...
is the one sport where I might eventually become famous, I take offense to this, sir. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have 893 chicken wings to eat in the next :45 seconds.
I always assumed "You're The Reason God Made Oklahoma" would be some sort of country music diss track. Live and learn, I guess.
Well done, tGC
And this post has already been flagged once. Congrats and welcome aboard!
@Kerns: NOW is when we lay back and rake the money in.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
heh
I do think Shake’s gonna be upset you beat him to the flag.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
by bigfatdrunk on Jan 12, 2010 12:19 PM CST up reply actions
This post has already been flagged twice.
I think that’s a damn fine start. All I need now is for BBS to ban me from the internet and my work here will be complete.
The Texans.
by tehGrindCrusher on Jan 12, 2010 1:52 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Damn right I am
Missing opportunities like that is going to cause me to quit my job.
If the Treasury Secretary doesn't have to pay taxes, then why do I?
Make those checks out to "Cash" please...
BattleRedBlog.com DontMessWithTexans.com
Clutchfans.net - Chuck 4 TexansTalk.com - Frak The Jags
Twitter - Zepp1978 Facebook - Zepp1978
THIS JUST IN:
Apparently Alex Gibbs is goiing to Seattle to be on Carroll’s Staff.
"An open mind is like a fortress with it's gates unbarred and unguarded."
The ROSENFAIL : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAKAKE-uq-8&feature=related
No article yet, McClain just stopped his live chat saying :
John McClain: Check this out: Alex Gibbs is going to Seattle to be part of Pete Carroll’s first staff. Good for Gibbs. And Carroll.
John McClain: I’ve got to go. Sorry. I have to get this story on Chron.com. See you next week.
"An open mind is like a fortress with it's gates unbarred and unguarded."
The ROSENFAIL : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAKAKE-uq-8&feature=related
by TexansForever on Jan 12, 2010 12:16 PM CST up reply actions
I doubt that would change
We were semi-expecting Gibbs to retire this off-season, anyway.
Still, under Carroll in Seattle? I gotta say WTF to that.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
by bigfatdrunk on Jan 12, 2010 12:17 PM CST up reply actions
Bummer
But it isn’t like his running scheme has just been crushing it in Houston.
BattleRedBlog.com DontMessWithTexans.com
Clutchfans.net - Chuck 4 TexansTalk.com - Frak The Jags
Twitter - Zepp1978 Facebook - Zepp1978
question
Why are you using a picture of the Dallas Cowboys’ new stadium (the Death Star) to introduce yourself?
/seriously, that’s what people in Dallas refer to the Jerry Jones Dome as
I want it to be known as:
“The Place Where Home Team Dreams Go to Die.”
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
by bigfatdrunk on Jan 12, 2010 12:25 PM CST up reply actions
speaking of dallas stadium...
in an effort to save money (because of the recesson), the dallas cowboys are now hiring all candidates that have a winning smile, great personality, and killer legs.
Michael: It is going to up in Tahoe a couple more days. Maybe you could take a date?
Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?
Michael: The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.
http://www.twitter.com/doobieman21
by chrisd21 on Jan 12, 2010 3:12 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
oh my...
sweet zombie jesus fuck
In Canada our balls are bigger
by canadian texan on Jan 12, 2010 3:19 PM CST up reply actions
Welcome in, TGC
Looking forward to more funny pics like the HWSNBN one.
BattleRedBlog.com DontMessWithTexans.com
Clutchfans.net - Chuck 4 TexansTalk.com - Frak The Jags
Twitter - Zepp1978 Facebook - Zepp1978
welcome in....
is the same words uttered by jordann EVERY night to TIM….
Michael: It is going to up in Tahoe a couple more days. Maybe you could take a date?
Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?
Michael: The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.
http://www.twitter.com/doobieman21
that ASS knows what it wants!!!!!!!
if anyone besides Beefy or BFD get close, like a skunk, you release gas.
Michael: It is going to up in Tahoe a couple more days. Maybe you could take a date?
Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?
Michael: The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.
http://www.twitter.com/doobieman21
hahahahhahhahahahahahahaha!
Michael: It is going to up in Tahoe a couple more days. Maybe you could take a date?
Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?
Michael: The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.
http://www.twitter.com/doobieman21
I'm impressed by the combination of this posts title/opening picture
and the Office Depot ad telling us about how to start our new business.
Can’t have a real Death Star without the comfy chairs, Tim.
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter
welcome aboard
I log on, and there’s an entire page of new content, and not just because BFD has posted 17 youtube videos on one post. Awesome way to start 2010.
Mount Cody in round 1
by texanphil on Jan 12, 2010 1:23 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
yeah right.
i’ve heard that SHIT before.
Michael: It is going to up in Tahoe a couple more days. Maybe you could take a date?
Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?
Michael: The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.
http://www.twitter.com/doobieman21
And you liked it.
It’s okay. BFD didn’t tell me. I read it in his diary. Or was it Tim’s. Im not sure.
#lies.
Michael: It is going to up in Tahoe a couple more days. Maybe you could take a date?
Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?
Michael: The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.
http://www.twitter.com/doobieman21
it isn't?!?!
SHIT. no wonder i can’t retweet my own jokes….
Michael: It is going to up in Tahoe a couple more days. Maybe you could take a date?
Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?
Michael: The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.
http://www.twitter.com/doobieman21
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
so true!
Michael: It is going to up in Tahoe a couple more days. Maybe you could take a date?
Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?
Michael: The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.
http://www.twitter.com/doobieman21
that shit is like trying to catch a unicorn.
Michael: It is going to up in Tahoe a couple more days. Maybe you could take a date?
Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?
Michael: The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.
http://www.twitter.com/doobieman21
How to catch a Unicorn.
Shrooms
And you gotta have Neil Patrick Harris with you, or else you won’t have a chance.
by Jordann on Jan 12, 2010 3:58 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
And once you catch it...
Brand that bitch.
If the Treasury Secretary doesn't have to pay taxes, then why do I?
Two Words
Suit Up
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.
by The Night Owl on Jan 13, 2010 12:54 AM CST up reply actions
Thx for getting the videos OFF the first page....
why does it smell like coffee in this post?
I suppose if all of the stars, moons and planets align it could be possible, but what are the chances of that?
Look forward to your posts tGC.
I have alot of reading to do today, damn real life getting in the way of my blogging.
You are banned from Music City Miracles.
Happy Now Tits?
You are banned from Blogging The Boys.
Welcome, TGC
The only possible downside I can see to this is that Diehard Chris’ head may explode.
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
Oh, well...
one less competitor then.
I always assumed "You're The Reason God Made Oklahoma" would be some sort of country music diss track. Live and learn, I guess.
But who will give the world an outlet to hear the Country & Western Ad-Rock?
Chris - www.HoustonDiehards.com
by HoustonDiehards on Jan 12, 2010 2:59 PM CST up reply actions
Touche.
Which one of these assclowns came up with that nickname, anyway? I need to add them to my list of people to kill.
I always assumed "You're The Reason God Made Oklahoma" would be some sort of country music diss track. Live and learn, I guess.
Also - I'm sure at some point BRB will add podcasts.
Didn’t Tim already almost do that a while back?
Chris - www.HoustonDiehards.com
by HoustonDiehards on Jan 12, 2010 3:12 PM CST up reply actions
Re: Podcasts
I’ve never hosted ‘em, but I’ve appeared on some. You’re right, though…we probably should do podcasts.
Chris, would you be interested in being the first guest?
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
Use Skype.
So we can watch BFD eat tacos and fap to Filipino Tranny Porn while hosting the podcasts.
rec'ed for truthiness
And I know which Filipino I’ll start with. ^
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
Which reminds me
If you’re still up for me being on one sometime this offseason, get in touch with me.
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter
by riversmccown on Jan 12, 2010 3:36 PM CST up reply actions
Most definitely
We might even go off point and hit movies a little bit. You seem to have many of the “hates” that I have.
Chris - www.HoustonDiehards.com
by HoustonDiehards on Jan 12, 2010 3:37 PM CST up reply actions
As long as you're forwarned that
My favorite movie of all-time just might be the original Major League and thus I have no real right to criticize anyone else’s movie picks, sure.
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter
by riversmccown on Jan 12, 2010 3:43 PM CST up reply actions
Hah
I love Baseketball and Spaceballs, but I have never watched The Goonies, even though I specifically set aside a spot in the DVR to snag it the last time it was on Encore or whatever.
I should probably fix that tonight.
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter
by riversmccown on Jan 12, 2010 3:52 PM CST up reply actions
If you dont have it on your DVR anymore
hit me up.
/not how I lure in unsuspecting victims in my crib.
your car?
If you don't like Goonies
You hate America. Period.
The Texans.
by tehGrindCrusher on Jan 13, 2010 1:23 AM CST up reply actions 2 recs
Hi, mom. Hi, dad.
I guess we’re in big shit now, right?
I always assumed "You're The Reason God Made Oklahoma" would be some sort of country music diss track. Live and learn, I guess.
You had me at Major League
Ah, Jesus…I like him berry much. But he no help with curveball.
I always assumed "You're The Reason God Made Oklahoma" would be some sort of country music diss track. Live and learn, I guess.
If you were gonna pull this shit
You coulda at least said you were with the Yankees
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter
by riversmccown on Jan 12, 2010 3:52 PM CST up reply actions
Is that you, Tolbert?!?
I always assumed "You're The Reason God Made Oklahoma" would be some sort of country music diss track. Live and learn, I guess.
I do indeed love Major League.
Strike this motherfucker out.
Chris - www.HoustonDiehards.com
by HoustonDiehards on Jan 12, 2010 10:34 PM CST up reply actions
Since we're on the subject.....
Does anyone else believe that Dunta’s performance/attitude this year was ridiculously similar to that of Roger Dorn?
If the Treasury Secretary doesn't have to pay taxes, then why do I?
Sorta
but Dorn stepped up when it really mattered at the end and started playing some inspired defense. I’d say he was more like Gentry, the second baseman — you knew he was out there, you sometimes saw the back of his jersey, but he was otherwise invisible unless action was going on around him. Even then, he really didn’t play a role.
I always assumed "You're The Reason God Made Oklahoma" would be some sort of country music diss track. Live and learn, I guess.
It pretty much exploded when BFD joined.
I thought we had a bond, since we both live in filthy Hippietown Austin.
Now, if someone were to join that rejected my offers to join me, that would make me cry real thug tears.
Chris - www.HoustonDiehards.com
by HoustonDiehards on Jan 12, 2010 3:03 PM CST up reply actions
no one makes me cry my own tears!
Michael: It is going to up in Tahoe a couple more days. Maybe you could take a date?
Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?
Michael: The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.
http://www.twitter.com/doobieman21
by chrisd21 on Jan 12, 2010 3:22 PM CST up reply actions 8 recs
Who has better hair, him or Mr. Mittens?
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.
by The Night Owl on Jan 13, 2010 1:02 AM CST up reply actions
True
But you never respond to my tweets.
There, I said it.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
hahahahaha!
whatever dude!
Michael: It is going to up in Tahoe a couple more days. Maybe you could take a date?
Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?
Michael: The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.
http://www.twitter.com/doobieman21
Not you, doobieman
Talking to the other Chris :-)
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
You mean the original Chris!
Chris - www.HoustonDiehards.com
by HoustonDiehards on Jan 12, 2010 4:37 PM CST up reply actions
(homer simpson voice)
D’OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Michael: It is going to up in Tahoe a couple more days. Maybe you could take a date?
Lucille: How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap?
Michael: The cabin... yes! That would be difficult, too.
http://www.twitter.com/doobieman21
This creates a bit of a scheduling problem
I used to be able to check in once a week, read the new post, have a hearty laugh, and resume my lotion application. i just noticed that there’s 3+ new posts up today alone.
Oh who am I kidding, the SOP is the new guy writes feverishly for two days then disappears.
[pours 40 out for Scott, Marroncito, Solis, DreKeem, Riott]
by ~Buck on Jan 12, 2010 3:24 PM CST reply actions 4 recs
Pouring out a 40
is actually what gets Scott to show up.
I always assumed "You're The Reason God Made Oklahoma" would be some sort of country music diss track. Live and learn, I guess.
Yeah
But where are you going to get a 40 of Zima in this economy?
The Texans.
by tehGrindCrusher on Jan 13, 2010 1:25 AM CST up reply actions
Heaven?
I always assumed "You're The Reason God Made Oklahoma" would be some sort of country music diss track. Live and learn, I guess.
But if you have to drink it, you're in hell
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
Ah, yes, I believe that's what Socrates referred to as
the Zima paradox.
True story: Socrates drank the hemlock mainly because the other option was Coors Light
I always assumed "You're The Reason God Made Oklahoma" would be some sort of country music diss track. Live and learn, I guess.
Please don't
end any more posts with “toodles”. It sounds a little too “Lovey Howell III” from the old Gilligan’s island show.
Here’s a debate topic that’s always good for discussion: Regarding the Gilligan show, who’s hotter Maryann or Ginger?………………
"...and if I claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that I don't know". SL
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