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No way Matt Schaub should get that extension!

Not when noted NFL expert ladies' man alpha male retard, BigBadBrad, has already decreed that Schaub is nothing more than a "borderline" franchise QB. Unlike true franchise QBs such as Tony Romo and ... wait for it ... Mark Sanchez.  Yup, Romo, who prior to this season had choked more in December than a prostitute looking for a Christmas bonus, is a franchise quarterback because he's "a dominant player who can make plays throwing the football on a consistent basis."  You know who else makes plays throwing the football on a consistent basis? The guy who led the league in passing yards (6th highest single season total in league history), had 3 more TDs than Romo, completed about 5% more of his attempts (67.9 completion percentage to Romo's 63%), had both a higher DVOA and DYAR, and -- despite the fact that I hate the stat -- even had a higher rating than Romo. 

But Romo had 6 fewer INTs, so maybe THAT is the measuring stick we're supposed to use. 

No, wait, that can't be right, because Mark Sanchez, whom Brad has already established 100% without a doubt is a franchise QB, had 4 more INTs (and 8 fewer TDs) than Schaubby.  Even Pey-Pey had one more pick than Schaub.

So, best I can decipher, the criteria for whether your QB is a franchise QB is whether Brad thinks so.  Coincidentally, that's also the same criteria for whether you are a quality writer, which is (of course) why Brad is the greatest living American writer.

(His defense in the comments for including The Sanchize in this discussion is particularly hilarious, both for its huge logical flaw and its lack of mentioning Brad's true reason:  Mark's lovely smile.)

SAT TIME!

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