Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Sunday's Game
by Tim on Oct 1, 2010 3:00 PM CDT
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PrintLast week's edition of "Three And Out" was met with a bit of derision, as some Texans fans couldn't believe that anyone with a functioning brain, much less a professed fan of the Texans, would pick the Cowboys to defeat the Texans at Reliant Stadium. It's not like I wanted that to happen. It's just what I thought would happen. I can't very well ignore the voices in my head mystical spirits, can I? That would be poor form and could leave me vulnerable to hauntings. And with the Texans already affecting my mental faculties, I'm not really in a place where I can handle any supernatural feuds.
Will my prediction of the outcome of Texans-Raiders come to pass? No idea. Remember...I am barely able to function in adult society. Nevertheless, hit the jump to see three (3) things sure to occur in Oakland on Sunday.
1. Despite valid reasons for it not to happen, Andre Johnson will play on Sunday. The Texans will, however, do everything they can to keep him out of harm's way. That plan will begin and end with Arian Foster, who will contribute 119 yards on 24 carries and a TD.
2. In his first start of the season, Dominique Barber will be better than Eugene Wilson, but by no means will he be the elixir that cures what ails the Houston secondary. Bruce Gradkowski--yes, Bruce Gradkowski--will throw for 263 yards, 1 TD, and 1 INT. You were with me until I called that interception, weren't you? Can't say that I blame you, yet I shall stick my guns. The Texans will manage to pull in their first interception of the 2010 season, and it'll be Glover Quin who does it.
3. A Houston TE will have a touchdown reception on Sunday afternoon. His name will not be Owen Daniels. It will be Joel Dreessen.
PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: Methinks this game is going to be the opposite of aesthetically pleasing. In other words, U-G-L-Y. The Raiders are poor against the run, and you're fully aware of how terrible your Houston Texans are defending the pass. I expect both teams to take advantage of the opponent's glaring weakness, which will make for a maddening game to watch for each team's fans. In the end, I'll cast my lot with the boys in steel blue, battle red, and liberty white; I believe they will prevail in a game that's much closer than we'd like it to be. Texans 20, Raiders 16.
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Predictions.
- Arian with 140 yards, 2 TDs
- K.Walter with 7 rec, 85 yards, 1 TD
- Dre with 1 rec, 11 yards
- Defense gets its first turnover
Defense does have 1 turnover
The Collie fumble against the Colts
I feel a blowout coming
I don’t know, I just see our offense running all over these guys, and our line is going to show up this week. Plus, Wilson isn’t playing so theres that.
"Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something." -Robert Heinlein
http://www.accessorizeyourvehicle.com/
Well, there you go.
by Autra on Oct 1, 2010 3:30 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Wow...thanks. Now we lose 33-6 and schaub and andre collide causing season ending injuries...
"An open mind is like a fortress with it's gates unbarred and unguarded."
What happens when an unstoppable force meets three defensive players? THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpWqMqrZwTU
by TexansForever on Oct 2, 2010 11:43 AM CDT up reply actions
Dearest Tim,
Why do you hate America, mother, apple pie, freedom, and the Texans?
Your biggest fan,
Me
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
If anyone is picking off a ball Sunday, it's Kareem Jackson
Just based on the amount of balls thrown his way, it’s a simple deduction that he’ll get lucky at some point.
Besides, we all know Glover Quin never allows touchdowns nor catches interceptions.
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter | SB Nation Houston | Battle Red Blog
Ah.
The old “blind squirrel finds a nut” theory. Didn’t hold true for Dunta last year, unfortunately.
I like the idea of it being Quin though. He deserves some payoff for being the lone slightly bright spot in our secondary. But an INT… that’s bold. The only crazier prediction you could make would be a kickoff return out past the 20.
You've obviously started drinking
I’m happy when we get the ball to the 10.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
Texans will bounce back
1) Andre will play in limited action and get 2 receptions for 27 yards with the bum ankle and Scrabble blanketing him.
2) Zac Diles will get the Texans’ first INT on a tipped ball.
3) Jacoby Jones gets a punt return TD.
Texans win 27-13
because the Texans always play down to their opponents, I predict a .....
21-20 game texans win. oakland loses by missing a game winning field goal.
Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.
by NoSafetiesNeeded on Oct 1, 2010 4:06 PM CDT reply actions
I think...
Arian will have another 200 yard game.
Jacoby Jones will return a punt for a TD. It will be negated by a penalty.
Shaub will have a bad game so that he can have a good game against the Giants.
I just have this sinking feeling....
that Dennison and Kubes are stuck hard over on this elusive beast called “balanced” offense (aka “balanced” play calling) and will once again, as they have done ever since the Colts game, relegate Arian Foster to 2 maybe 3 touches every drive. (not set of downs….every drive) Unless one run gets stuffed for a loss or no gain and then it will be pass, pass, pass because we have to make our yardage in 12 to 15 yard chunks. Anything less just will not do.
Sorry all, the Kool-aide is getting pretty weak. And this “playing from behind” BS just doesn’t wash with me. When you’re down only 6 or 7 points, that isn’t “playing from behind”. That is a close game and one still needs to go with what is getting the yardage….even if it is only 3 or 4 yards a carry.(for anyone weak in math or just lazy I’ll spell it out for ya, 3yds X 4downs = 1st down, or 4yds X 3 downs = 1st down….screw punting, if you’re consistently making 3 yards a carry, run it down their throat on 4th down too) If he is getting that, run it down there throats until they stop it consistently, not stop it for just one down.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
I know....
over simplifying things excessively, but where the hell was Foster in the Washington game? And from what I remember of the Dallas game, Foster was making yardage in that game as well.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
good thing he's averaging almost 6 yards a carry!
it’ll only take 2 downs to get the 1st :P
My body has built a tolerance to bleach. My favorite flavor is Lemon.
by BattleRedHusker on Oct 2, 2010 3:19 AM CDT up reply actions
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went conservative though for the sake of argument.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
What do you mean?
He had 69 yards rushing & 69 yards receiving. Sounded like a pretty good day to me
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.
by The Night Owl on Oct 2, 2010 4:03 PM CDT up reply actions
Can you blame them?
They are trying to find the MINIMUM Arian contribution needed to win and keep him healthy.
We are one bad hit away from Steve Slaton starting….
"An open mind is like a fortress with it's gates unbarred and unguarded."
What happens when an unstoppable force meets three defensive players? THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpWqMqrZwTU
by TexansForever on Oct 2, 2010 11:44 AM CDT up reply actions
play to win now
don’t play to avoid injuries.
I say feed the beast (Foster or the passing game, whichever is clicking) until the game is assured.
"I'm trying to get a feel for Booty" - GK
The problem with that is
At least part of why Foster has been able to run as he has so far is the threat of our passing game. We’re not the kind of team that can line up and run 3 consecutive plays when the defense knows full well we’re going to run consistently for the first down… even still I believe he’s getting around 23 carries per game or there abouts and another 2-3 passes thrown to him a game, that’s nothing to sneeze at… In fact, to give him much more of a workload would be self-destructive over the course of the season as his body would likely break down as we got towards the end.
Gotta admit
I really like some of the predictions above. Diles with the first pick is interesting and logical.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
and you can't forget cost -efficient.
Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.
by NoSafetiesNeeded on Oct 1, 2010 6:41 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Louis Murphy
Has a huge game.
But the Texans win. Arian Foster has a huge game… but not as big as Indy.
by forloveofthegam3 on Oct 1, 2010 4:23 PM CDT reply actions
I still have faith in OD for the touchdown
1) I seem to remember Schaub attempting to get the ball to him a couple times in the redzone. Of course these memories are hazed because of a mixture of bleach, laundry detergent, and cojones-less Cowboys fans.
2) I also agree with the Kareem Jackson first pick. The only hesitation there is him focusing more on his technique, keeping on pace with his receiver, and sound tackling that, even if a lucky bounce goes his way, he lets it slip.
3) And since this is my first prediction post ever, I’ll use one of my lifelines… “Schaub throws an avoidable interception”
Temper the OD Faith
He may not play on Sunday….cannot say it’s a negative since I think JD and Thor looked so great in the pre-season.
"Lord, beer me strength."
yeah but of those two we only have joel dreesen available
Thor’s injury was worse than Andre’s after the Redskins game. I’m not sure if Andre caught up with Thor after the Cowboys game.
by BattleRedFan on Oct 2, 2010 12:09 AM CDT up reply actions
I never saw that loss to Dallas coming.
Bummer.
But the Texans will just have to get back on track vs the Raiders.
I predict 10 tackles for Bone Crusher !
Pollard has 30 tackles in the 1st 3 games.
He’s always open. He catches a lot of balls. He’s un-guardable, no matter how old he is
it was a classic texans let down game
"Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something." -Robert Heinlein
http://www.accessorizeyourvehicle.com/
by nolander on Oct 1, 2010 5:38 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Pollard
Well, he IS tied for third in pile jumping. I mean assists.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
Tackling is an overlooked part of football.
Somebody has to do it.
BoneCrusher is 4th in the NFL in tackles.
He’s always open. He catches a lot of balls. He’s un-guardable, no matter how old he is
spending too much time in the backfield?
ignoring coverage, or is he all over the field.
I’ll go with the latter. It makes me feel better.
"I'm trying to get a feel for Booty" - GK
Are we the only NFL team without a pick so far?
Someone confirm this?
Split Seahawks/Texans fan. Don't like it? Don't care.
We're in half good company, at least.
Baltimore doesn’t have one. Unfortunately, the other is Buffalo.
I’m pretty damn ecstatic though that we’re sitting at 2-1 with just one turnover forced. I’d almost guarantee that they’re going to finish the season with 20+, so I’m expecting regression to the mean to hit hard, and in a good way.
Don't say unfortunately....
Buffalo’s secondary isn’t bad. They actually led the league in INTs last season I believe.
"Lord, beer me strength."
I'd actually take some more PDs than INTs right now
Picks are nice and the team has had 3 dropped INTs, but passes defensed would be nice….gotta be there to make a play which means looking for the ball.
"Lord, beer me strength."
It's cause
Buff is always losing. Other team always running
by AllenOU on Oct 1, 2010 6:17 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
I would switch their secondary for ours in a heartbeat
"Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something." -Robert Heinlein
http://www.accessorizeyourvehicle.com/
Or at least their FS
Jarius Byrd would be a Godsent here
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.
by The Night Owl on Oct 2, 2010 4:06 PM CDT up reply actions
i predict dre plays
But only gets thrown to twice and has 1 catch for 7 yards. I know Nnamdi is the best but so is dre. It seems everytime we play the raiders we just resign to the idea that dre is going to be shut down.
I’m not much for x’s and o’s, but is dre really being totally shut down or does schaub just not look his way?
by doctexans on Oct 1, 2010 6:22 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
bit of both from what i see.
there were times last game between OAK and HOU where andre got open but schaub didn’t look. other times he was covered too well and they didn’t throw.
My body has built a tolerance to bleach. My favorite flavor is Lemon.
by BattleRedHusker on Oct 2, 2010 3:22 AM CDT up reply actions
finally!
Raider fan friend who’d lost a few bets to me just got my new Battle Red Cushing jersey in the mail today!
Funnier still, as a USC fan he was happy to get himself a new Battle Red Leinart jersey to save on shipping!
by mckraut on Oct 1, 2010 6:25 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
they make those?
It's hard bein whimpy
by WhimpyJimmy on Oct 1, 2010 10:15 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Custom Jersey's FTMFW
Just your average, run of the mill hardcore casual Texans fan.
Only 'interception' happening in this game will happen as follows:
Kareem will slip again, giving DHB a chance to break away. As he leaps up from the turf and back on his feet, trying to catch up to the play(failing miserably, I might add) Gradkowski will manage to pull a magnificent channeling of JaMarcus and throw the ball 15 yards away from the play.
The ball will bounce off of Zac Diles’ head(in a truely cost effective manner) and fly out of bounds, landing in Eugene Wilson’s lap on the bench.
The ball will settle without touching the ground, therefore qualifying as a ‘catch,’ but it will scare Eugene so much that he’ll jump up, accidentally kick the ball, and it will land in AJ’s hands, who happens to be sitting 6 seats down from him.
He of course, won’t drop it.
Jacoby will then dance while speaking in tongues, DA will tell a joke, Pollard will destroy leg tendons with nothing but a glance, Cushing will be pumping iron on the sidelines(overtraining, yet again), and all will be well in the world.
Texans win, 24-15
Just your average, run of the mill hardcore casual Texans fan.
by Autra on Oct 1, 2010 10:15 PM CDT reply actions 2 recs
and the announcer will say
that’s just the Texans being the Texans
It's hard bein whimpy
by WhimpyJimmy on Oct 1, 2010 10:17 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Actually,
Since it’s Gus Johnson announcing the game, it will be a steaming pile of awesome.
Pure, unadulterated awesome.
Gusgasmic even.
Just your average, run of the mill hardcore casual Texans fan.
Oh god, Gus Johnson
Even if we lose this is going to be awesome
Split Seahawks/Texans fan. Don't like it? Don't care.
Gus. Fucking. Gasmic.
Just your average, run of the mill hardcore casual Texans fan.
Best sports commentary hands downs
Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.
by NoSafetiesNeeded on Oct 2, 2010 11:56 PM CDT up reply actions
Another "Glover Quin has an interception" prediction? I'll stick with the same concept.
My bold prediction:
Since Bonecrusher has failed to KO someone in the first three games, he will this game. My guess is he will take out Zach Miller’s knees. Torn ACL, out for the year. Raiders go below mediocre in the passing game because of that.
Game prediction:
Schauby has two picks while Foster has another 100 yard rushing game and a TD. Rackers has two FGs.
Gradkowski finishes with a 50% completion % while throwing for 280 yards and a score. Darren Mcfadden has 80 yards rushing and a score. Janokowski goes 1-2 in FGs.
Upset; Raiders win 17-13.
"You got to believe in yourself. Hell, I believe I'm the best-looking guy in the world and I might be right."- Charles Barkley
Because of my love/hate relationship with Schaub...
…he will throw an early INT and be sacked 3 times
Foster will have a modest 110yds and a TD(notice 110 yds is modest compared to 200+)
Walter will have a breakout game and go 160 yds and 2 TD
=D This game the defense will shine!
They will only allow 390 passing yards this game.
by BattleRedFan on Oct 2, 2010 12:16 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs
I say let the Raiders into the Red Zone everytime and then stop them to let Sebastion Janokowski miss the FG. Cable will attack his kicker on the sidelines and get ejected. Al Davis will come down and coach the team and bring Russell with him to play QB. Fun times!
He’s always open. He catches a lot of balls. He’s un-guardable, no matter how old he is
My predictions
WALE sacks Gradkowski twice, the second causing a fumble recovered by Amobi.
Everyone expects us to run on the Raiders poor run defense, so Kubiak calls mostly passing plays. Foster has 108 yards receiving, 69 yards rushing.
The only TD is Jacoby on a slant.
Schaub makes great decisions, no picks, but is terrible in the red zone.
Texans win 16-6.
"I'm trying to get a feel for Booty" - GK
That didn't sound like an apology
Sounded more like a plea before the review board at Harris County Psychiatric Center, Tim, trying to gain your exit back into society. If that were the case, you’re lucky I’m not on that review board….
Let’s play Three and Out
One – The Texans will unveil their Wildcat offense in the red zone. Dorin Dickerson will suit up and he will take a shotgun snap; running the ball off-tackle for a TD from outside the 2 yard line.
Two – The Texans’ pass defense will not get one, but two interceptions. Barber will break the ice in the first half and then he will ice the game in the last two minutes of the 2nd half.
Three – Looking for an unsung hero? Amobi Okoye. He will be disruptive. He will be in the Raiders’ backfield all afternoon. His performance will be game ball worthy.
My Name is On It – Texans play keep away from the Raiders by rolling up tons of rushing yards as they hand it off and hand it off to the Pterodactyl. The defense bends but doesn’t break. Final score is 31-21.
The best thing about this game is that it marks the end of Brian Cushing’s suspension. I saw his workout video. Don’t anyone get in his way!
I dub the Cowboys.....Jesus-pony poop, 6 months after it's expiration date
Predictions
Schaub will throw no interceptions for the first time this season.
Foster will score 2 rushing TDs
Our defensive line looks dominant against the sub-par Raiders’ O-line and as a result the secondary doesn’t look as shoddy which will then lead to people calling D. Barber our FS of the future for the next 6 days untill he is torched again.
Is that necessary and unnecessary interceptions?
I dub the Cowboys.....Jesus-pony poop, 6 months after it's expiration date
Alright, since everyone's talking about who's going to get the (imiginary) pick
My money is on Kareem Jackson. Overthrown bomb to Darius Heyward-Bay and Jax gets an easy pick and returns it about 20 yards.
Split Seahawks/Texans fan. Don't like it? Don't care.
Is that even possible?
That guy is lightning fast.
2-0
Why does Andre get hurt everytime we start a season 2-0. I can start to hear the “injury prone” mumblings by the talking heads in the background.
Hopefully the rest of this season doesn’t follow suit or I’m moving to Detroit and donning a retro Bennie Blade jersey.
It's Our Time.... or something...
by bennprince on Oct 3, 2010 1:44 AM CDT via mobile reply actions
the first int is goin to be
Brice mccain…. I am calling it.
I am tattooing a picture of Jacobi Jones to my Mannschaft, Because it loves to go deep and always does a dance in the end...zone!
Go Texans!
TJ, you never miss on these!
I dub the Cowboys.....Jesus-pony poop, 6 months after it's expiration date
Week 4 Texans 28 Oakland 24
I agree, this will be an ugly game. Andre does not play.
MrMr
Good strategy
Possibly he suits up, and stands by only if needed…
I dub the Cowboys.....Jesus-pony poop, 6 months after it's expiration date
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