BRB's Comcastic Red Zone Review: Chiefs v. Texans

Kinda!

But I can’t imagine it’d be too hard to find.

…on one of those sacks. It was his guy to get and he OLE’d him right on by… Schaub got up limping.

So you decided to totally ignore the “He tried to run into me and bump me” part? I believe the flag should not have been thrown at all. Both of them were at fault. But how is your guy trying to run into and bumping our guy not cheating, and Andre pushing off cheating?

Hello, so you’ve decided to go trolling on sports blogs. Good for you. But before you do, do you have everything you need to be a proper sports blog troll?

/Look of confusion on clean-cut kid in proper 50’s clothes and hair with enough product in it to mimic the BP oil spill

You don’t know what it takes to be a troll? Well fortunately for you, this film will help you on your way.

Now, do you have an over-inflated sense of importance? You do? Good! That’s the first step in trolling properly.

Next, what is that you have there?

/Cut to kid’s hands clutching a file of seemingly important papers

Is that a list of pertinent team facts and statistics you have?

/Kid nods

Oh that won’t do at all. Here.

/File doesn’t change but there are random sparkly images around it in trolling team’s colors

You should never come armed with facts and logic, that won’t do for a proper trolling. You need to make baseless accusations and pointless stats. It doesn’t matter if they don’t make sense, young man, what matters is that they need to be said.

Now while the game is played, you should always gloat about how wonderful your team is on your opponent’s blog.

/Kid appears to be asking a question

What’s that? What if your team just blew a 14 point lead and can’t score against a phantom defense, you say? It doesn’t matter in the slightest. Your team is the bestest thing ever! Anything short of that kind of thinking will hamper your trolling expedition.

Now the game is over and your team lost.

/Show kid with sad look on his face

But hey, cheer up, it wasn’t your team’s fault.

/Kid perks up

It can’t be, if you’re trolling, it’s never because your team collapsed. It’s because of those activist referees or because the coaching staff, regardless of whether or not they have had success in the past, has the collective IQ of a sandwich.

/Kid has question…again

You know, I’m starting to get tired of your questions. What do you do in this situation? You latch onto one minor point in a game, a penalty, bone-headed play, anything, and scream at the top of your lungs that that’s why your team got hosed. Got it?

/Kid nods vigorously

Okay, you young scamp, get out of here, and thank you for watching this film on trolling. Good luck.

I don’t. What do you guys want?

Everyone who watched the game yesterday saw bad penalties being called (PI on Jackson and Flowers) and not called (holding on Mario and Hali). That’s how it goes in the NFL. It’s been that way for years and will continue to be that way.

Run on 3rd and 2…and we’re probably not talking about this. Kick it deep to the crappy returners and the Texans run out of time. Stop Houston on 3rd and 10 (2 plays later) and it’s down to a gutsy 4th down go for it or FG.

Bad penalty, both guys were battling, shouldn’t have been a flag….at worst, it’s both flagged, but the Chiefs had chances before and after. You all seem to act as if it were that one play which lost it when you shouldn’t have been in that position in the first place.

You guys seem so focused on the penalty….and are trolling on and on and on……what other response do you expect? Just move on…the horse is dead and rotting away.

/investigating online stalking laws…