When Just Losing Isn't Enough...
by Mike Kerns on Nov 14, 2010 3:48 PM CST
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Like the title says, when just losing isn't enough you can always count on your last place Houston Texans to succeed in finding new and uncanny ways to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Last week it was an Andre Johnson dropkick into the defenders hands about six yards away. This week, Glover Quin has a clean shot at an interception on a last second Hail Mary and he chooses to play volleyball and bat it right onto Mike Thomas' hands for the game winning score.
To put it simply, right now even Lions fans feel bad for us.
If you can stomach the pain, the rest of the recap is after the jump...
Continuing their modus operandi, Houston decided to be a one half team that has every opportunity to win the game at the very end but just find a way to come up short. With the much maligned Texans defense hold Jacksonville to a field goal and two punts in their first three offensive possessions, one had to wonder if we were watching the right team. But when we saw the offense plagued by questionable play calling and three and outs, it was very clear that the answer was yes. We were certainly watching the right team.
We all knew the defense wouldn't hold up to their early performance and Houston fond itself down 17-3 at the break. Which was spent by myself perusing through Twitter and reading about the pain every Texans fan out there seemingly wanted to induce to the Texans coaching staff.
But what happened as the second half began didn't really surprise too many. Being the ever one half team, they quickly fought back to tie the game at 17. Then they swapped touchdowns with the Jaguars to have the game knotted at 24 before the unthinkable coda transpired. Josh Scobee botched his second kick of the day that would have put the Jags up three with about an minute and a half to play. Houston had burned all of its timeouts and looked to have finally gotten the prayer the fans had been asking Durga for since most of us can remember.
Now, before I get to this part of the recap, let me just give you a glint into how I've felt about this team since the New York Giants game. Maybe it is just nine years of this shit finally killing my emotions towards this team, but I have just become indifferent to them. It sounds terrible to say this, but after that game I have went into every game since expecting them to lose. That way, if they find a way to win, it's just playing with house money. I've long been called negative and a pessimist about this team and I argued that I was just a realist. But this team just may have pushed me over that edge today of being a huge pessimist about them. Because I look on the schedule and I'm not sure I see one or two more wins left in this unit. In short, I just don't let it bother me anymore.
Okay, now that that is out of the way, I can describe my emotions as the events in the closing seconds played out. When Scobee missed that field goal in the final two minutes and Houston got the ball, I still didn't feel like Houston would find a way to win. Call it just a hunch. We've seen it enough times to know better. And then when plays keep getting called as passes over the middle of the field with no time outs...what the hell is going on over there??!?! And the Dreessen fumble really didn't bother me at the time because I didn't believe they could have gotten back to the line and spiked the ball in time to attempt a game winner. Boy, did it bother me a few plays later...
By now, we all know how the last play of the game happened. I can't come up with anything better to describe my emotions of it, so I will quote what MDC said to me in our angry text conversation after the game:
"Only a Frank Bush-coached team would bat that ball forward instead of f---ing catching it! I hope everyone in the secondary dies..."
Well put.
In my opinion, and the opinion of many, this game was a MUST to even have a shot at 8-8 this season. In that, and the Texans defense giving up 400+ yards (491, to be exact) and 30+ points, at least the Texans remain consistent.
I took out about a fifth of Jameson's before writing this, so I'm just flat out getting bored. So at this point, I'll let you guys take over this recap and rant away. BLEACH FOR EVERYBODY!!!
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Texans F@#cking SUCK!
Why would you have and Aggie coach and a dumb ass Defensive Coordinator!
Hey Frank, I wanted to see what you'd do this season. And you didn't disappoint...
Even to a Texan fan like me, that’s cold…
Gary Kubiak is a genius.
You think just anyone could keep coming up with such creative ways for us to lose? That shit ain’t easy, holmes.
I'll eliminate you like I eliminate gluten from my diet.
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Nov 14, 2010 3:52 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
maybe this is like South Park
We just hate the playoffs so we became skilled losers
by Rocket94 on Nov 14, 2010 4:12 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
You're the best, around!
Nothin’s ever gonna bring you down!
We are such a laughing stock right now
Why can’t we play up to our potential? WHY WHY WHY
"...and Kareem Jackson will fall down..."
Maybe we are playing to our potential
and no one wants to admit it? I personally believe we are exceeding our potential in many areas, and before you go on about Kubiak, I don’t think it’s a result of our coaches.
"Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway" - Ancient Chinese Proverb
Numbness from the replay of the Q-Tip and Jamesons
might get confused with indifference….
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
I'm indifferent to your accusations
Yet, you keep it up. I think your indifference is clouding your sense of humor.
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
I highly recommend insouciance...
…and yeah, I had to look up the spelling.
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do..."
I made sweet love to insouciance
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
by bigfatdrunk on Nov 14, 2010 6:23 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
ok, that’s how i felt about an hour ago or so…
but still. i have watched this team with care for the last time. bye bye dana….. i mean texans, it’s over!
by Danpassurweenie on Nov 14, 2010 3:57 PM CST reply actions
That quote is asinine.
Every player in the league is coached to bat the ball down (read: down) in that scenario. Trying to catch the ball there increased the chances that it bounces upwards exponentially.
The coaching in that game was shitty (as usual), but also as usual, the players completely fucked up on numerous occasions.
Thanks for the enlightenment....
I wondered what usual coaching was in that situation.
I do have to give kudo’s to the Jax players for not giving up on the play…..very heads up on that receivers part. Yes it hit him in the chest, but if one has just given up on the play that isn’t a catch.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
I call bullshit.
Maker’s Mark kicks Jameson’s ass.
"Texans dames are better when I'm dunk" ~ Me @ Texans v. Chargers 2010
Let's not fight.
Can’t we just agree that both are fine whiskeys, and capable of temporarily erasing the misery that this team causes us? If I weren’t cheap to the point of buying $13 bottles of “Old Overholt” rye, then I’d gladly alternate between the two.
That leaves you with enough money left over to buy a fine bottle of aspirin...
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
Josh knows I'm fucking with him
Makers Mark is some good bourbon. I just keep Jameson’s in stock at the house at all times…especially football season.
I'm out of Maker's Mark
Please send me the rest of your Jameson’s.
"Texans dames are better when I'm dunk" ~ Me @ Texans v. Chargers 2010
I ran out of whisky yesterday!
SHIT!
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
If only I didn't live in Georgia
I’d go out and buy some of both. Alas, no Sunday sales in GA.
My dream Super Bowl XLV: Houston 52, Dallas 3.
Oh, how I love DC... (and Hobos).
Because sometimes, I just don’t plan ahead thoroughly for a devastating loss.
I'm not even mad
I’m just so shocked that I actually wasn’t mad. This was an otherworldly loss but I wasn’t even mad.
I was laughing
I admit it. The only question was HOW we would lose.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
That's what I was telling Diehard Chris on twitter
at the beginning of the 4th. My money was on a halfback pass.
I laughed too
Pretty damn hard.
I am Sancho
by HoustonTransplant on Nov 14, 2010 4:36 PM CST up reply actions
same reaction here
I was shocked at how “indifferent” I was, and not just completely pissed off. It says a lot when you stop getting angry about it.
I'm a man!! I'm forty!!
They Kill My Soul
Every Year – but I am a Texans Fan – so it goes with the territory
"I want you guys to pair up in groups of three and then line up in a circle." - Bill Peterson former Oilers Coach
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 14, 2010 4:01 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
No matter what
This never changes.
"Texans dames are better when I'm dunk" ~ Me @ Texans v. Chargers 2010
Precisely
I laugh, not cry, these days.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
It does...
but that doesn’t mean that, every year when the Texans rip my heart out, I don’t want to simultaneously punch through a wall, drink till I can’t stand, and cry myself to sleep in the corner.
My dream Super Bowl XLV: Houston 52, Dallas 3.
It would be almost bearable if......
the Team actually showed some fight, and actually looked like they gave a damn!! Offensively and Defensively!! There are like two players on either side of the ball that show heart….. AJ and Foster on offense and Benard Pollard and Antonio Smith on defense (yes they are terrible) but at least they show some signs of a pulse on defense. Everyone else seems to disappear for long stretches of the game (Mario Williams) or show no fight what so ever (Amobi, and the rest of the offense)!
Kerns your like Oprah
I can’t wait to get my bleach!
Good thing I turn 21 next week so I can drink away the rest of this season
by Rocket94 on Nov 14, 2010 4:03 PM CST via mobile reply actions
giving bleach to your audience
Is oprah like
by Rocket94 on Nov 14, 2010 4:20 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
I would like to order
a new coaching staff please.
here’s my reasons
http://www.battleredblog.com/2010/11/14/1813849/i-would-like-to-get-rid-of-the-coaching-staff
I'm tired of seeing comment's like "I'm done with this Team"
Even if they lose every game in the season i still will be a fan and will not give up on my team
and the clouds opened up and God said "I Hate you Texans Fans."
by Joe25 on Nov 14, 2010 4:05 PM CST reply actions 19 recs
Goo'd
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter | SB Nation Houston | Battle Red Blog
by riversmccown on Nov 14, 2010 4:07 PM CST up reply actions
I agree.
I’m not done. I’m loyal as can be and I’ll be here for the foreseeable future. Just under this regime, I never expect anything to change. Therefore, I’m just going through the motions until it changes. I’ll watch every single snap and go to every single game until I die.
by Mike Kerns on Nov 14, 2010 4:08 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Did I ever use the words
“I’m Done”?
Indifferent: adj \in-ˈdi-fərnt, f(ə)rənt\
1. a) That does not matter one way or the other.
b) Of no importance or value one way or the other.
Like I said, until this regime is changed, I’m not going to be affected by it. If you can’t buy that, I don’t know what to tell you. I didn’t scream, I didn’t curse. I didn’t react at all to the end of that game except to shake my head.
Jeebus!
As a father, NOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!!!
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
At this point
I’m digging in for the next rebuilding regime. Because I think with the lockout Kubiak will be employed through 2013. So yeah. I’m pretty much not expecting the Texans to make the playoffs until sometime late this decade.
Frank Bush delenda est
About that...
I suggest preparing for the zombie apocalypse before you buy your Texans’ playoff tickets. It’s bound to happen first.
Speaking of which, is there a better man-to-man conversion-starter than zombie survival?
A man's thoughts on Zombie apocalypse survival
Are a window to his soul.
Frank Bush delenda est
After this game....
I made the decision that until this coaching staff changes I will go into every season expecting at best an 8-8 season but lowballing for 6-10 or 4-12. That way if they eke out another 9-7 season I will be overcome with joy.
And I will still watch every game I am able until the bitter end, unless external event dictate otherwise. I will not stop watching even when being down 35 – 0 at the beginning of the 4th qtr.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
Meh.
We’re (not us, necessarily, but Texans fans in general) provide one of the shittiest home-field advantages in football. Sure, the passionate fans deserve better, but as a fan-base in general, we could do better.
The Kubiak style makes for a shitty home-field advantage.
This west coast defense shit has gotten old.
"Texans dames are better when I'm dunk" ~ Me @ Texans v. Chargers 2010
Losing
Makes for the worst home-field advantage.
Frank Bush delenda est
To quote a famous person -
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
by Rip Jersey on Nov 14, 2010 4:12 PM CST up reply actions 5 recs
Hahahaha
Yep, I have always been and will continue to be a Texans fan. Even when I am laughed at for announcing so. Yes, here in Charger country they do laugh at us. Shit, they barely knew who we were until last season.
Just painful that every year, somehow it ends up hurting more than the last. Next year, please keep me away from the kool-aid.
Thank you! It had to be said!
The only good thing about this bad of a season. We are going to get rid of the annoying bandwagoners. :)
"Do you ever feel more like you do now then when you got there?"
"Its always good to have the same number of takeoffs as you do landings."
-Wise words from a dude named Tim
by BabyBeezy03 on Nov 14, 2010 10:16 PM CST up reply actions
Yeah, that is definitely a down-side to success...
…although that Cardinals-fan chick that showed up for awhile and posted the drool-inspiring photos was kinda’ entertaining.
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do..."
I'm DONE wit THIS COACHING STAFF.
i will always be a Texans fn, but I m DONE BEING A kUBIAK SUPPORTER. And Frank Bush needs to go RIGHT NOW.
"An open mind is like a fortress with it's gates unbarred and unguarded."
What happens when an unstoppable force meets three defensive players? THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpWqMqrZwTU
by TexansForever on Nov 15, 2010 6:24 AM CST up reply actions
Replace Bush with someone who will change things up
What this team has been doing over the Kubiak tenure is not working. Richard Smith and Frank Bush have virtually the same exact scheme. Can we get someone in here that knows how to maneuver, react, gameplan, and harass?
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
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Drano Milkshakes, For when a slow, painful death is preferable to watching the Texans play defense
Apathy
That’s my emotion after 9 seasons of this nonsense – not to mention all the years of disappointment at the hands of the Oilers.
I still wonder why I tune in to these games? At least my emotions are tempered since I’m apathetic toward this team (from top to bottom). Heck, I had to laugh and the game ending debacle – that’s really all you can do. Jack Del Rio must agree with me because he had the same look I probably had – one of humorous disbelief. Then again, is it really so unbelievable?
This team needs a real winner at the helm. Fuck the “good guys” mantra. We need a head coach who can lead this team because I honestly believe this team – the players – can win with the right leadership. Yeah, the players are the ones who make the plays but if you have a great leader they just might not drop the easy catch; they might reach for an extra yard; they might rush a little harder; and that leader will trust his men, namely his QB, to audible out of dumb ass plays. I really think this team needs a ship captain who will avoid the huge fucking iceberg and sail around – not straight toward it (I.e. Kubiak). Until then I will continue to be apathetic toward this team of misfits led by a scalawag.
by Holy Germ on Nov 14, 2010 4:10 PM CST via mobile reply actions 1 recs
That hail mary play
will be #1 on both the Sportscenter’s Top 10 and the Not Top 10 lol.
I dont think thats ever happened before lol.
I think he has a point
I would not be surprised
A Texas Wannabe, born and raised in New Zealand. Currently located 7343miles South west of Houston.
by distant_texans_fan on Nov 14, 2010 8:17 PM CST up reply actions
The maddening thing is
we will never win big under Kubiak. We won’t lose a ton of games either.
We aren’t the Lions, or the tits, or the Bills, where they have seasons of 2-14, 3-13, lose games 59-0, etc.
We will just always win about half of the time. Always in the discussion in November, playing meaningless football in December, and not terrible when its all said and done.
I would rather have an occasional good year than 8-8 six years in a row.
"I'm trying to get a feel for Booty" - GK
Look at what a coaching change could do for you......
Dallas is jumping all over the “best team” in the NFC….. They seem to be playing hard for the new coach! Makes me wonder what if the Texans………
That requires promoting somebody from within.
You don’t bring in a coach with no familiarity mid-way through the season.
Garrett has been the Cowboys’ prospective coach for a few years now. Who within the Texans’ organization do you think would be capable of taking over?
I'd just call up Kyle Shanahan & offer him the HC position before doing that
This comment has been brought to you by Drano Classic Milkshakes.
Drano Milkshakes, For when a slow, painful death is preferable to watching the Texans play defense
by The Night Owl on Nov 14, 2010 4:29 PM CST up reply actions
I could see that going a long way
I can’t believe the huge difference it has made to the offensive playcalling with Dennison in charge. I mean, c’mon!! You get handed the NFL’s #1 offense, why do you screw around with it!!
A Texas Wannabe, born and raised in New Zealand. Currently located 7343miles South west of Houston.
by distant_texans_fan on Nov 14, 2010 8:18 PM CST up reply actions
After this horrendous performance, that requires a Gooing.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now help me find my pants!
by UprootedTexan on Nov 14, 2010 8:36 PM CST up reply actions
Ray Childress
Isn’t he part owner?
"Texans dames are better when I'm dunk" ~ Me @ Texans v. Chargers 2010
Tha Cowboys are whipping the Giants too
How bad can this day be?
by LouisianaTexan on Nov 14, 2010 4:20 PM CST via mobile reply actions
The advertising on this blog is getting to me
It’s been and Absolut Bloody Hour since the Texans blew the Jags game…..
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
Figures
"I want you guys to pair up in groups of three and then line up in a circle." - Bill Peterson former Oilers Coach
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 14, 2010 4:29 PM CST up reply actions
hunting
mcnair should take kubiak and bush hunting and have two terrible accidents
Reverend Pimp Daddy
Root for the steelers tonight I guess
Root against baltimore and new england the rest of the way.
LAST SEASON, I led this team in ninth-inning doubles in the month of August!
Will do.
If every other team in the AFC goes 6-10, we might just have a shot at the wild-card.
This is the only good thing about sports for me
I’m actually excited about the Spurs this year..unlike the past couple of years
Don't get your hopes up
Wins against non-playoff sub .500 teams. Lost against a good New Orleans team, we’ll see how they do against Durant and OKC later on.
Oh I'm not too excited
Mainly because we can’t really play D…but at least we can score, so if the D can get right throughout the season, stuff could happen
go kill yaselves spurs fans
Reverend Pimp Daddy
by jahunter221 on Nov 14, 2010 5:01 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Yeah...Rockets...
Hmmm…time to see who I have as backup sports teams to support.
Texans…/sob.
Rockets…/sob.
Astros…/whimper.
Seahawks…/blech.
Mariners…yeah right.
Sonics…hmmm, oh, yeah, forgot.
/blows brains out.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now help me find my pants!
by UprootedTexan on Nov 14, 2010 8:39 PM CST up reply actions
Dismay from the Northwest
Wow, another Texans fan up here… at least the Seahawks won, and are stumbling into first place in the NFC Werst… but I do feel your pain, for sure!
This defense doesn't deserve to sniff the playoffs
The offense pissed me off by not moving and capitalizing on the FG miss. I guess they don’t know what momentum is.
I am Sancho
by HoustonTransplant on Nov 14, 2010 4:44 PM CST reply actions
Come on
how many times has the offense put together a late game winning drive this year? 3 times? They can’t pull them all off.
LAST SEASON, I led this team in ninth-inning doubles in the month of August!
There were two misses
and didn’t do anything with it. Sort of like one of the INTs in the Giants game. Did not capitalize. Have to take advantage of those.
I am Sancho
by HoustonTransplant on Nov 15, 2010 5:51 AM CST up reply actions
They put up 24 damn points
we are 0-5 when we don’t score 30 points. Its on the D.
LAST SEASON, I led this team in ninth-inning doubles in the month of August!
Don't know what to say anymore...
Surprised we found another way to lose. Yet again, defense and offensive play calling.
I'm not angry with the Texans
I’m just disappointed. They’re like a gifted and talented kid who fails gym class because he can’t figure out dodgeball.
Frank Bush delenda est
Admittedly I was rooting for the Texans to lose
just because I think you’re a bigger threat than the jags, but after I saw that final play I found myself saying, “My God, it must suck to be a Texans fan. Their team loses in the most incredible ways and it must be so disheartening sometimes.” And I enjoy coming over here to BRB because you guys are all pretty respectful and you know what you’re talking about and arguments never turn into crap like ‘OMFG COLTS SUCK AND D FREENEY IS A PUSSY AND PEYTON MANNING IS GAY!’ like I’ve experienced with Eagles fans and Jets fans. So as long as you don’t take the AFCS title from us this year I’m gonna pull for you for the rest of the season. Or if you’d rather me root for you to lose so Kubiak can get fired I can do that too. It’s up to you.
"It's an easy game, man. Easy game."
~Edgerrin James
by 87 Rides A Surfboard on Nov 14, 2010 4:54 PM CST reply actions
Thanks.
Manning is pretty gay, though. Like, seriously. I saw him making out with Collie before the game last week.
by Nashmeister on Nov 14, 2010 5:24 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
You sure it was Collie?
I think the Mormons would murder him if they caught him in a gay act. He’s already on thin ice because he only has one wife.
"It's an easy game, man. Easy game."
~Edgerrin James
by 87 Rides A Surfboard on Nov 14, 2010 5:48 PM CST up reply actions
In Collie's defense...
he is concussed and not thinking straight.
by Battle Dread on Nov 14, 2010 5:57 PM CST up reply actions
"...not thinking straight."
I see what you did there…
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do..."
HAHA!
Thanks. Yeah, the inevitable heart break takes away some of the fun, but the new and exciting ways in which we lose more than makes up for it.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
Woodford kicks ass
That is all.
(Maker’s Mark and Jameson sucks. There, I said it.)
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
If God starts at whisky blasphemy...
…I’m completely and utterly fucked.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
There is nothing worse than whisky snobs
You’re both going to Hell.
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
Eh, I'll drink any Whiskey
Same with Beer. I just have my preferences. I am FAR from an alcohol/beer snob of any sort. This is the guy that was willingly drinking Milwaukee’s Best at a tailgate when I had Shiner in the cooler.
And then I drank the Shiner, too.
can't drink, doctor's orders
/sniffles
"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." -- Benjamin Disraeli
I don't drink.
But the Texans make me wish I did.
Heavily.
GET A SILK BAG FROM THE GRAVEYARD DUCK TO LIVE LONGER.
Hell, they can't even tell me what it "really" is, let alone how to fix it
Why the hell should I listen to them otherwise….have no pity on me. I do just fine.
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
Maker's Mark for me
’Cause Specs sells ’em in little airline style bottles perfect for smuggling into Reliant which helps to ease the pain of watching this defense.
"Texans dames are better when I'm dunk" ~ Me @ Texans v. Chargers 2010
It was a great game
And I hope teh Texans will find teh right track after this game. Look at the Broncos- they are kicking ass right now. Texans are my favourite other team; and I wish just the best for you guys (Except when you play us).
I know it is hard now; but I hope you can get collect many Ws in this season!
We were (Veeeeeeeeery) lucky in the end.
Life without knowledge is death in disguise
Follow me on twitter @iktriad
by Zoltan from Budapest on Nov 14, 2010 4:56 PM CST reply actions
Texans = Big Tease
Like the chick in the club with the Tramp Stamp, tying knots outta cherry stems with her tongue and kissing her best friend! Once you get her home either A. She passes out drunk, or B. It’s that time of the month!
Well
I told you guys that it was going to come down to who wanted the loss more. Today we clearly did, so much so that we did a kept the ball from going incomplete and bounced it into the other teams hands for the winning touchdown. We clearly came out absolutely dedicated to lose this one.
I'm all for them losing the rest of the games for the rest of the season
so that the coach can be fired and we will get a better draft pick.
by Bobbythegreat on Nov 14, 2010 5:22 PM CST up reply actions
Add St. Louis and Tampa Bay...
To the list of teams going worst to first in one year, while we struggle with mediocrity for four.
Off Subject....
Watching the Ari-Sea game leads me to wonder……Do the Cardinals regret letting go of Matt Leinart right now? The offense looks terrible, a couple years ago that offense was clicking on all cylinders albeit with Kurt Warner at the helm.
Every game is an opportunity to measure yourself against your own potential.
I can never root for the Texans to lose
Even during 2-14 I was pissed when Kris Brown shankrd that short FG against the 49ers in the “Bush Bowl”. But as much as I want them to win, the thought of another mediocre season is even more depressing that the Dom Capers era. At least we knew we had a shot at drafting a stud like Andre and Mario. Being average just means no playoffs with no top ten rookie talent and another year for Smithiak because “hey, we’re right on the cusp!” I have no idea what exactly to root for this year. If we somehow sneak into the playoffs, it almost certainly guarantees another 3-4 years of this mediocre, underachieving regime, but how can I, as a diehard fan pull for them to lose out even though I know it will promote change from the top all the way down? That to me is way more frustrating and infuriating than any last second Hail Mary.
by LouisianaTexan on Nov 14, 2010 5:36 PM CST via mobile reply actions
Glover Quinn interview after game. Stunned and shcoked.
“I’ve been a stupid ass mutha fucka ever since” “I’ve been a stupid ass mutha fucka ever since” I’ve been a stupid ass mutha fucka ever since"……………..“Houston Texas became my residence”!!!!!!!!
Reverend Pimp Daddy
I've been a closet Raiders fan for so long
It’s nice to see them doing well, but it’s hard show them some love when the Texans keep filling me with so much hatred
This comment has been brought to you by Drano Classic Milkshakes.
Drano Milkshakes, For when a slow, painful death is preferable to watching the Texans play defense
by The Night Owl on Nov 14, 2010 6:07 PM CST up reply actions
Has everyone calmed down now and accepted the loss?
and the clouds opened up and God said "I Hate you Texans Fans."
Not really, but......
No sense to keep crying over spilled milk, turning my attention to a couple of NBA games now. Deuces BRB!!!
Every game is an opportunity to measure yourself against your own potential.
Accepted in the sense that Obama accepted the midterm elections
Crushed and trying to figure out where to go from here…
Houston Texans fan, first and foremost.
College football teams: Army, Syracuse, Texas, Auburn.
In Smithiak we trust(ed)!
You bet.
For some reason, this one doesn’t feel like it’s gonna have the lasting power that most losses have on me.
And I intend to make that a certainty by capping off tonight with whiskey, then Fallout: New Vegas until the Walking Dead comes on.
Nothing quite like zombies for clearing the ol’ mind-palate.
I'm going old school on this one.
I’m getting out the boxing gloves and playing Punch Out and pretending every other boxer is Glover Quin, Gary Kubiak, Frank Bush, Rick Dennison, and…crap, I don’t know, the one God-damned Jags fan in the entire fucking Seattle-Tacoma area that showed up at my drinking hole!
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now help me find my pants!
by UprootedTexan on Nov 14, 2010 8:59 PM CST up reply actions
That was my method of dealing as well.
Of course interspersed between Fallout: New Vegas and The Walking Dead was the time spent in a scalding hot shower screaming and crying as I tried to scrub away the Texan taint. So essentially the same night.
Rob Schneider was an animal. Then he was a woman. And now Rob Schneider is... a stapler! And he's about to find out that being a stapler is harder than it looks. Rob Schneider is… "The Stapler". Rated PG-13.
by benbiggles on Nov 14, 2010 10:55 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
You tell me.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now help me find my pants!
by UprootedTexan on Nov 14, 2010 8:57 PM CST up reply actions
I dunno...
too much bleach and Woodford’s
by Battle Dread on Nov 14, 2010 6:10 PM CST up reply actions
Ruh roh.
Three more performances like that, and Quin will be at risk of losing his status of Texans’ defensive MVP.
Great maybe Mr. Green was right
hes starting to pick things up
and the clouds opened up and God said "I Hate you Texans Fans."
He swatted down the ball into the hands of a Jags WR on a last second Hail Mary
The game never made it to overtime
This comment has been brought to you by Drano Classic Milkshakes.
Drano Milkshakes, For when a slow, painful death is preferable to watching the Texans play defense
by The Night Owl on Nov 14, 2010 6:46 PM CST up reply actions
OMG, defeat from the jaws of overtime...
I thought I was going to throw up. Immediately changed the channel to figure skating.
Couldn’t stand to watch any more football. And don’t play on watching the SNF game either. I can’t stand anymore today!
"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." -- Benjamin Disraeli
Pats vs Steelers?
Sounds like a great night for Fable 3
This comment has been brought to you by Drano Classic Milkshakes.
Drano Milkshakes, For when a slow, painful death is preferable to watching the Texans play defense
by The Night Owl on Nov 14, 2010 6:47 PM CST up reply actions
I know EXACTLY what you mean.
I watched the rest of the Browns game cause their my #2 team. After that I just can’t handle it anymore. I’m staying away from football for a little while. It’s been a shitty week to be a sports fan.
The Football Gods....Hate Houston Texans fans....
They couldn’t kill us with heart wrenching last second wins, So they Kick us in the collective Footballs and I bet it won’t stop there…
This team is painful!!!
GO TEXANS!!!!
Our time will come...
You forgot
Or don’t want to remember, the Houston Oilers ordeal.
by Battle Dread on Nov 14, 2010 7:01 PM CST up reply actions
I was Married the day before
no way I could forget
GO TEXANS!!!!
Our time will come...
by Texanmaniac on Nov 14, 2010 7:49 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Looking back four hours later...
I’m a bit surprised at my reaction. I said nothing, thought nothing and generally felt nothing. It wasn’t that surprising or depressing to me. Unbelievable, yeah, but not wholly unexpected considering the course this season has taken; not just for Houston, but the entire NFL.
The only thing left to do at this point is laugh.
Laugh at our misfortune. Laugh at our horrendously underachieving-then-red-hot-then-underachieving-again offense. Laugh at how abysmally coached both sides of the ball are and how the coaches are obnoxiously defiant (or apathetic? I’m not sure which is worse) of the problems.
Don’t get me wrong, the coaches aren’t solely to blame. There isn’t a player on the team, save for Foster, AJ and maybe Leach, that is exempt from severe criticism about his performance this year. I’ve just gotten past that by now.
At this point, all I can do is laugh.
GET A SILK BAG FROM THE GRAVEYARD DUCK TO LIVE LONGER.
We laugh, he cries
Who saw Matt’s puffy eyes at the post game press-conference. I may be wrong, but it seems like Matt shed a few after this one.
by silentassassin on Nov 14, 2010 7:22 PM CST up reply actions
This is becoming a thing of regularity
L to R: My heart – Houston Texans
"There's two kinds of coaches, them that's fired and them that's gonna be fired." ~ Bum Phillips
by H-town Fanatic on Nov 14, 2010 7:32 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
I stole this but i think it fits
There once was a player named Quin
Who was scared to be burned yet again
Instead of dashing Garrard
He did hoist his petard
And ironically gift wrapped the win
You are such a good friend that if you and me were the last two people trapped on a sinking boat with only 1 life vest left, i would remember and pray for you every day.
by Antho10000 on Nov 14, 2010 7:38 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
Clever but...
Quin did what he was coached to do. I don’t blame his effort in slapping it down on that play. Had he attempted to catch it and the ball deflected upwards giving a Jaguar an oppurtunity to catch the ball, then I’d be pissed. I’m not pissed about the last play; moreless disappointed in the outcome of it and what it did to my emotions. Nobody should have to bury their own child and NOBODY should have to root for the Texans, but sometimes we don’t have a choice. I don’t choose to be emotionally attached to the Texans every week. It just worked out that way when the NFL announced its 32nd franchise was coming to Houston. Now I have to live (and die) with it 16 weeks out of the year for the remainder of my life. It’s painful, but thats why man made boos and defibrillators.
"There's two kinds of coaches, them that's fired and them that's gonna be fired." ~ Bum Phillips
by H-town Fanatic on Nov 14, 2010 7:48 PM CST up reply actions
I'm still going to be rooting for this team next week
and I’m simply not giving up on this season until we lose 3 more games, or are mathematically eliminated. Last year we where 4-5 and came two teams not gifting their games to the Jets of making the playoffs. Its just how I’m wired I guess.
LAST SEASON, I led this team in ninth-inning doubles in the month of August!
Yup... I consider it part of the "dues" of not being a front-runner...
I have a nephew-in-law that was a Saints fan from the beginning. I’m just hoping that my Texans-dues are not that long-term.
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do..."
heh
I just want to watch and enjoy more Texan football
LAST SEASON, I led this team in ninth-inning doubles in the month of August!
Yeah, the "enjoy" part just gets hard when lousy teams are wiping their feet on us...
I’m just watching (because I have Hernandez on my Fantasy Team; 0/0 so far… sigh) this Sunday night game and watching Tom Brady just stand back there with no one within 5 yards on some plays and taking his own sweet time about tossing the ball around.
Someday I hope to experience the Texans being so strong that teams fear them and dread having to play them… instead of giggling like schoolgirls on Christmas eve…
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do..."
I agree
I am in no way giving up on them, as much as they piss me off. Like Dillo said, I’m paying my dues, have been since their inception. Was and always will be a Houston sports team fan, and we have not had much to cheer for lately. I just voice my opinion like any other person, it’s just that being a Texans fan gives me so much to bitch about, besides I have spent shitloads of money on Texans gear and if I burn it I may start a south Texas inferno.
by Battle Dread on Nov 14, 2010 9:15 PM CST up reply actions
Same, I suppose.
I just want to have it on record that I no longer care all that much, so that people can question why I still read and post on this blog several times per week.
Damn it, just let me go, Texans…
We know why Nash...
…we’re all like abused spouses, getting knocked around and sticking around for more because “They didn’t really mean to suck that bad and they promised that they won’t do that to us again…”
/Patsy Cline in the background…
“I… fall to PIECES….”
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do..."
It's our fault.
You just don’t understand what they’re like.
I'll eliminate you like I eliminate gluten from my diet.
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Nov 15, 2010 6:05 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Yeah, we have to regroup as a fanbase..
and prepare for YET ANOTHER meaningless late season run that will give everyone a reason to believe that this team is better than it actually is, thereby allowing the coach and front office to keep their jobs for YET ANOTHER year despite being just mediocre AGAIN and eventually doom us to the same fate for YET ANOTHER season in 2011…here.we.go.
by leacheatsbabies on Nov 14, 2010 9:27 PM CST up reply actions
At this point, I'll even take THAT...
What’s got me so bummed out is that the level of disarray on both sides of the ball just make me NAUSEOUS when I think about what the BESFs are going to do to us… twice. Then we’ll get to listen all over again to how VY just. wins. games.
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do..."
A potentially-effective response from Texans fans?
All tickets for this season are sold. There is a long waiting list ready to pick up any which aren’t renewed. So actions like "not renewing your tickets" don’t hurt the Texans at all, and "boycotting the game" (paying for tickets then staying home) hurts the ticket holder more than the Texans.
There IS one way to get their attention, and it’s almost totally painless: Eat and drink before and after the game, but not during. I spend approximately $60/game for food and drink for my wife and me. If we’re typical, that’s $2.1 million in concession revenue per game.
With three home games left, the fans can put a $6.3 million dent in Reliant Stadium revenue, and a good portion of that goes to the Texans. While it’s not a significant amount to Bob McNair, it should be attention-getting.
I suggest that all Texans fans avoid the concession stands entirely over the next three games to express their discontent with the team’s current direction. We can go three hours without food. I would even be better off for it.
It would be awesome to see no lines whatsoever at the concession stands, and it might be the only effective way we can tell Mr. McNair how we truly feel and have him hear us.
I'm gonna take it even further.
Today, ladies and gentlemen, with you all as my witnesses, I would like to formally announce my hunger strike.
That’s right. I shan’t be eating or drinking anything but water until this team improves. No more Chick-fil-a until we have a competent defensive coordinator. No more delicious Five Guys’ bacon cheeseburgers until the front office learns how to scout and draft well. No more sweet, sweet IPAs until we have CBs capable of not falling down in coverage, then missing numerous tackles! No more—hey, you gonna eat that stapler?
I would join you but...
the McRib is back!!!!
by Battle Dread on Nov 14, 2010 9:15 PM CST up reply actions 4 recs
Nash
You’ve broken your vow twice. Already. The first time was for a half-eaten Twinkie.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
There was a half-eaten Twinkie?
Really?
/whimpers
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do..."
Still dreaming of that 72 oz Porterhouse...
…deep fried with cream gravy, a large pile of home fries smothered in cream gravy, three slices of Texas Toast with a side of cream gravy and for dessert, a large bowl of peach cobbler with a large scoop of Blue Bell Ice Cream… smothered in cream gravy.
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do..."
Don't go to games. Let McNair see a half filled stadium. Let him see the proverbial writing on the wall.
Empty stadium + bad concession sales = McNair gets the message.
"An open mind is like a fortress with it's gates unbarred and unguarded."
What happens when an unstoppable force meets three defensive players? THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpWqMqrZwTU
by TexansForever on Nov 15, 2010 6:35 AM CST up reply actions
That works for me
I won’t go to anymore games this season! Who’s with me!!!!!!!!
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
If you leave a mess for the orderlies to clean up afterward, you're doing your part!
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
Hey guys I've been hearing that Mike Jenkins Might get cut
had a good year last year wouldn’t hurt to bring him right?
and the clouds opened up and God said "I Hate you Texans Fans."
Pick as many pro teams to root for
I am a person that enjoys many sports. I’m a huge Manchester United, Dallas Stars, and Houston Texans fan. That makes my chance at being happy with my favorite team much better. Unfortunately, my top team is a big disappointment. I record the Texans game on DVR, but make it a point to at least know the final score first before watching because I wouldn’t want to waste time watching them lose. I have deleted that last 3 games by the way!!!!!!!!!!!! Go Man U, Stars, and ahhh, yeah the Texans.
United
Lol.
I'll eliminate you like I eliminate gluten from my diet.
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Nov 15, 2010 6:06 AM CST up reply actions
I'm a Manchester CITY fan!
,,,,which is much like being a Texans fan….so ya.
"An open mind is like a fortress with it's gates unbarred and unguarded."
What happens when an unstoppable force meets three defensive players? THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpWqMqrZwTU
by TexansForever on Nov 15, 2010 6:37 AM CST up reply actions
Am I mistaken, or did Kubiak look away on the Hail Mary Q-Tip play, ala a field goal?
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
Bush, after the game
“Hahaha! I’ve seen that before, so it doesn’t bother me. Hehehe! I don’t care if the fans comment harshly. This is our job. Nope, I’ll wake up tomorrow and start planning for the next game and I’ll do all the same things. No changes. Thanks for that suggestion, though. Hahahahaha!”
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
From what I understand
“Gameplanning” for Bush consists of throwing darts at a dartboard. Only the dartboard has a big 2’ wide bullseye that says “soft cover 2 zone” in the middle, “Poorly thought-out blitz” on either side and “Pointless pass rush” on top and bottom. So in THAT sense, yes, he plans these games.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now help me find my pants!
by UprootedTexan on Nov 15, 2010 12:53 AM CST up reply actions
No no no,,,,Bush has an IPAD and a schme program,,,,
"An open mind is like a fortress with it's gates unbarred and unguarded."
What happens when an unstoppable force meets three defensive players? THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpWqMqrZwTU
by TexansForever on Nov 15, 2010 6:38 AM CST up reply actions
+1
love this can you tell me where you got this from
by jesusjagfan2009 on Nov 15, 2010 10:34 AM CST up reply actions
No Career INTS?..
How does a guy with no career INTs make a play like that?.. LOL..
I got nothing else… Carry on..
I understand, but..
You would think he’d like to get off the schneid!.. Or just bat it straight down?..
Like I said, whatever..
new theory
we are suffering as a team for the bad karma associated with cushing’s and brown’s suspensions. we have hit rock bottom. this team will rise again. we’re only 4-5. win the next 2 and go into december over .500 ready to roll on our customary december stretch run. i mean if everyone thinks SD can make a run (at 4-5), so can we. just got to get our shit together.
yes im serious. no im not on drugs.
ok srs question – how did kareem jackson look today? i only caught bits and pieces of the game. maybe jason allen gets some reps against the jets, since he knows them well….
last thought – schaub kills in cold-weather road trips to the east. im looking for a lights-out game similar to GB 2 yrs ago/cincy last yr.
10-6 here we come :)
KP
Cornerbacks are taught
to bat the ball down (key word DOWN!). not play volleyball with it. If Quin had just simply caught the ball the 4th quarter would have been over. I keep seeing these comments, “but he did the right thing; it’s not his fault; blah,blah,blah” but that was not a good decision. I don’t care what anybody says. I mean seriously, he “volleyed” the ball 5 yards out of the endzone. Who does that? He so had that catch. If he somehow didn’t catch it, it would have gone out the back of the endzone. And another note; players are taught to bat the ball down on 4th downs (specifically on long passes) so as not to lose field position. This doesn’t apply in that situation.
Swat and swim, dip and rip, twist and spin; just do whacha gotta do to light up that QB.
Exactly my thoughts
Bat it DOWN! DOWN damnit! DOWN as in DOWN to your toenails.
"I was laughing at you" - Jayson Werth explains to Brett Myers why he got picked off 2nd base on an intentional walk.
by RocketsAstros on Nov 15, 2010 3:55 AM CST up reply actions
he DID bat it down...
you discount the fact the player who caught it is 5’1".
"Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway" - Ancient Chinese Proverb
Nope, he batted it forward
My definition of down is straight down, not 5 yards away down.
"I was laughing at you" - Jayson Werth explains to Brett Myers why he got picked off 2nd base on an intentional walk.
by RocketsAstros on Nov 15, 2010 5:36 AM CST up reply actions
PS - Not a good weekend
if you’re a Blue and Texan
"Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway" - Ancient Chinese Proverb
Indeed
The perfect storm of a shitty weekend for me – first the Blues completely embarrass themselves and the fans on frikin Stamford Bridge AND THEN …the Texans manage to outdo that. I am starting to dread Sundays.
"I was laughing at you" - Jayson Werth explains to Brett Myers why he got picked off 2nd base on an intentional walk.
by RocketsAstros on Nov 15, 2010 5:56 AM CST up reply actions
Chelsea
lol
I'll eliminate you like I eliminate gluten from my diet.
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Nov 15, 2010 6:07 AM CST up reply actions
I was about twenty minutes behind real time
watching on DVR when with about 12 minutes left in the fourth quarter, my DVR freezes, restarts, and I lose the rest of the game.
At the time, I was pissed, but after finding out what I missed, I think it might have been the best thing to happen to me all weekend.
Thanks guys...
I’ve never actually posted on here before, but I’ve been reading regularly for the past two seasons. You’re like group therapy, especially after Glover Quinn literally hands the ball over to the Jags for a win.
by BigMacFrys on Nov 15, 2010 8:14 AM CST reply actions 4 recs
Newbie rec
AA is jealous of our group therapy skills.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
you just have to dettach yourself emotionally from this team because if not, you’re asking for a premature death
Rockets-Texans-Dynamo-Longhorn fan.. the Astros have gotten back into my good graces so theyre allowed back into the elite club... GO 'STROS, 2011 NL Central Division Champs!! you heard it hear first!
Pretty much
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
by bigfatdrunk on Nov 15, 2010 10:07 AM CST up reply actions
Remember week 1?
Hey, remember some of these quotes from you guys in week one?
“Schaub and Andre weren’t on their A game….and we just beat the defending AFC Champions.
/joygasm!"
“cant wait to see/hear what every "Expert" has to say about the Texans now.”
“Colt fans Talking about how it was our Superbowl. What a bunch of fucking pussylicking motherfuckers. They should’ve come prepared and decided not to. Fuck those "fans"”
That WAS your Superbowl. You should live the whole season off that week 1 win, because that was about it for you guys. Enjoy the offseason. You can root for us in the playoffs.
HAIL MARY PASS – GOOD GOD HOW EMBARASSING
Shouldn't you be fellating BIGBADBRAD?
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
by bigfatdrunk on Nov 15, 2010 11:34 AM CST up reply actions
The almighty Colts lost to the Jags too
ON A 60 YARD FG (lol!) GOOD GOD HOW EMBARASSING
"I was laughing at you" - Jayson Werth explains to Brett Myers why he got picked off 2nd base on an intentional walk.
by RocketsAstros on Nov 15, 2010 11:38 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
oh yeah…their penalties were worse on that drive, they let a 5th string WR make 4 catches for 40 yards with less than 2 minutes….
but seriously you guys do rock, dont forget that and go beat the hell out of the titans and cant wait till battle red day (right?) i figure it will be the jag game again, was last th
Waber-Jaguar
Not too bad
Only one troll so far.
I'll eliminate you like I eliminate gluten from my diet.
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Nov 15, 2010 12:08 PM CST up reply actions
/Cue peppy 1950's-era music
Hello, and thank you for taking time out of your empty busy life to troll our blog. We know you have your choice of blog to troll and complete lack of many friends, colleagues, pets, and loved barnyard animals ones to avoid you like the plague discuss the game with you.
We, at Battle Red Blog, like to give a warm and special greeting to trolls, especially after demoralizing losses like the one we just had.
So, on behalf of all of us at BRB, we would like to say…
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now help me find my pants!
by UprootedTexan on Nov 15, 2010 12:09 PM CST up reply actions 4 recs
Do not feel bad
Coming from a Jags fan perspective you guys played a very good game with us and honestly our pass defense almost gave you the game. Best of Luck the rest of Season and we will see you in Houston in December
by jesusjagfan2009 on Nov 15, 2010 10:33 AM CST reply actions 2 recs
You, too
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
by bigfatdrunk on Nov 15, 2010 11:35 AM CST up reply actions
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