Gather 'round, Kids...Let's Talk About The Good
One of the positives of being an old, jaded adult is that I'm an old, jaded adult. For those of you who've been around the Texans since the beginning, it's not that we're not used to losing, it's that our expectations were higher this year. Even *I* believed the Texans had a solid shot at making the playoffs, though I long believed our defense was going to be exposed as completely fraudulent. While the bleach is flowing like whisky 'round these parts, let's look at a couple of factors that make this team worthwhile to follow from here on out.
In David Letterman-esque, fashion, here are the Top 5 Reasons to Continue Watching the Texans.
#5: Kareem Jackson (will fall down). Really, bfd? Really, fair reader. All season, I've been saying the Texans have not put Jackson in a position to succeed, and after nine games on the firing line, we'll get to look for measurable improvements. His play will have a tremendous impact on how we handle the 2011 off-season. And, believe it or not, there's still a lot to like about Jackson. NOTHING we've seen from here should've been considered unexpected, and I'm willing to give him more time to flex his muscles. Anyway, it's far to easy to give up on the kid at this point in his development.
#4: BattleRedBlog. You may think I'm patting myself on the back on this one, but this isn't the case. I'm not shy in my belief that BRB has some of the best football "journalists" on the Internet, much less bloggers. Most of all, we aren't going to piss down your back and tell you it's raining. You'll always get an honest assessment from us, whether rosy or not, and with writers like Rivers and Tim and the rest of the staff here, the analysis will be sound and thoughtful.
#3: Worst. Defense. EVAR. For realz. With the Bills holding the Lions to "only" 390 yards yesterday, and Shaun Hill's pedestrian 75.7 passer rating, we may have overtaken the Bills for the worst pass defense in the past 17 years (which likely means it's the worst in history). I know it's a bit morbid of me, but I do get quite a bit of entertainment value from the whole debacle. I've long wished I could've witnessed the Philadelphia Phillies 1930 season, in which their pitching staff managed a massive 6.71 ERA. The Texans are kinda like that. I mean, if we're going to be the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked, let's be historically bad.
One day, you'll be able to set your grandchild on your knee and say, "Yes, I was there for the Texans in 2010. Zac Diles and Eugene Wilson actually did play. They were real people. Really! No, I'm not making them up. Please don't put me in that crooked rest home."
#2: Matt Schaub to Andre Johnson. The Texans still have the best WR in his era on the squad, and watching Teh Schaub and Andre play pitch and catch is absolutely beautiful. Andre is a man among children every time he takes the field.
#1: Arian Foster. He's not quite Andre just yet, but how wonderful is it to watch him on a weekly basis? He has the speed, quickness, and smoothness to just mesmerize me. Even as much as a defense-first guy I am, for my money, there's nothing like watching a running back with Foster's skills, and he still doesn't even have a full season under his belt.
I know this isn't the glass-is-completely-empty post as most of you expect from me. I am inherently critical, and I recognize this personal foible. However, there's still a lot to like about this team, and above are five reasons why. For those of you who'll still revel in the pain on a weekly basis, what will keep you going (blind fandom aside)?
105 comments
|
8 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
For better or worse, our games are almost always exciting.
Any given Sunday has more meaning for this team than any other (except for post-season Sundays, which will have no meaning). We have higher highs and lower lows as Texans fans it seems, but at least it’s interesting.
A change in the coaching department wouldn’t hurt this team.
And lobotomies couldn't hurt the coaching.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
Hey, what goes around comes around, right?
We’ve already received ours, so the coaches are in line for theirs.
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
BTW - Jaded means tired, bored, or lacking enthusiasm, typically after having had too much of something
Would like to hear what it might be that bfd has had too much of…..
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
Large-breasted, long-legged, hot blonde 19-year-old nymphomaniacs?
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do..."
I.....
……
……
……
……hate both of you.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
by bigfatdrunk on Nov 15, 2010 11:24 PM CST up reply actions
Is it to soon to start thinking that we have a long term answer to running back with Arian Foster? I feel like he’s one of those guys who could just keep getting better. I voted for him for Pro Bowl, hopefully everyone else is voting in Texans.
Nationwide Writer for SBNation's Nascar Ranting & Raving (www.4ever3blog.com)
"A ringing single for David Eckstein who, in my view, is the perfect size for an American male." -Bob Costas
If one votes Foster...
Vonta Leach needs a vote as well. I love seeing him blow up linebackers in the hole.
"Lord, beer me strength."
With as much as Kubiak refuses to use him....
…and with our luck, Foster will want too much money because he realizes his own talent. We already have a warm body in Ben Tate (remember him?) and THE Returner (Steve Slaton) to be used. So, in absolute stupidity true Texan fashion, we let him go.
He’s quickly picked up by the Colts, where Peyton gets a picture of Foster tattooed on his 5head causing two things:
1) the Texans defense immediately begins bleeding from all orifices when across from the unstoppable Indy offense,
2) Peyton gets to laugh all the way to the bank because not only is he now the highest paid player in the NFL, he no longer has to work nearly as hard because of his amazing new RB.
Indy becomes the first team in NFL history to play in, and win, a SB in their own stadium. All because of Arian Foster and Smithiak
This is what Texan fandom has brought me to.
Add ammonia to your bleach, it goes down smoother.
#6
Only 7 more games of Kubiak’s lack of emotional response to anything.
If anything, this reduces the chance he gets another year to be mediocre. So that’s like an inversely positive silver-lining thing.
I am Jack's colon
“I get cancer, I kill Jack”
in this hypothetical… and I do mean hypothetical…
yesterday’s game is cancer, Bob McNair is Jack’s colon and Gary Kubiak is Jack
by grungedave on Nov 15, 2010 3:19 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Fight Club references make me smile
Then I look up at the TV and see a replay of the Q-Tip, and I crawl into a corner to suck my thumb.
"Texans dames are better when I'm dunk" ~ Me @ Texans v. Chargers 2010
#7 Jason Allen
and soon to be #1, when he turns this defense around in his first game. no lies, i speak truef and all will see.
Don't ask me! Ask Google, you dumb Yahoo!
Is he replacing Wilson? Is Nolan moving to SS? Is Pollard moving to WLB? Has Bush been fired?
Until all that happens, nothing turns around
This comment has been brought to you by...
Clorox Eye Wash
Has the Texans defense become too excruciating to watch? Clorox Eye Wash is the solution for you. Apply directly to the eyes & the slight pain will provide everlasting relief from the vision of the Texans Defense
and by
Drano Classic Milkshakes
Drano Milkshakes, For when a slow, painful death is preferable to watching the Texans play defense
by The Night Owl on Nov 16, 2010 1:08 AM CST up reply actions
I suspect that if Allen comes in, it's on a rotational basis
That is what they had with Barber, and I think they will continue that.
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
Wish I had me some of those fancy BFD goggles
I admire your optimism. It’s really hard to see the good amongst all the bad. What hurts the most is that we actually have good players who are not trained up and/or or put in a position to succeed. You know they probably resent the situation they are in but are too classy to say anything. Just once I’d like to get Winston liquored up and THEN have the fans ask him tough questions on the radio.
Speaking of alcohol-induced honesty
Schaub is a close second. That dude looks like he could let some sh*t fly if he let down his inhibitions.
Gary Kubiak, Head Coach of Houston Texans 2006-2011
by bv on Nov 15, 2010 2:17 PM CST up reply actions
I wonder if he watches Brady
Did you see Brady last night? He demands execution. He does it on the field and on the sidelines. I’m not saying Schaub has to be as overt as that, but I rarely see him interacting with the rest of the offense. Can he learn something from watching Brady? Possibly.
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
He doesn't have the hair
For that style of leadership.
I don’t think Schaub’s leadership is a problem, and I don’t think he needs to yell more. If he could find a way to fire Frank Bush, that might be helpful, but offensive execution isn’t our biggest problem. Our biggest problem is our epically shitastic defense. Our second biggest problem is Kubiak’s questionable play calling, which would be irrelevant if the offense didn’t need to score 35 a game to win.
Frank Bush delenda est
Fair points, although I wonder
If the offense didn’t need to score 35 a game, I have the feeling that Kubiak through his desire and propensity to manage games to go to a coin flip, a ball bounce, a referee call, or a turnover…. would still get the team to the same point differential at the end of a game and nothing else would change.
The outcome would still rely on something happening to sway it.
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
by Rip Jersey on Nov 15, 2010 2:40 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Wrecked....
and I cannot put enough pluses on this.
and, that is the crux of my complaint with Kubiak
Or this….this is also the crux of my complaints with the man.
I think someone on here said it best, “He coaches/plans to be in games….not to win.”
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
What hair!! He's practically bald!
"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." -- Benjamin Disraeli
Hair jokes are 100% verboten here.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
Getting there. Very quickly.
:-)
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
So your hairline is like Schaub's????
Why didn’t you say so? You should be proud, not trying to hide it. You could be twins! How cool would that be!!!
"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." -- Benjamin Disraeli
I love the BRB
On other sites the fans (both teams) are just stupid while here there some people that are cool and level headed
and the clouds opened up and God said "I Hate you Texans Fans."
I may
make fun of jackson and other players, but in the end i blame the coaching staff.
“It’s on them” right?
At this point of the year i hope the texans play spoiler for several other teams in the league ruining their chances at a playoff run. (yes, i know i’m a special kind of bastard)
by Ivan A on Nov 15, 2010 1:30 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Agree. If we're not gonna go the party, we may as well play spoiler to someone else. God knows, it got done to us last year.
"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." -- Benjamin Disraeli
The difference is that we are not in position to sandbag and play spoiler, like it was done to us
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
You Know I once heard a guy say Zac Diles is a Pro Bowler
I’m not going to say who it was, but he sure is a good judge of defensive talent.
Don't ask me! Ask Google, you dumb Yahoo!
Kubiak
Watches the defense? News to me.
Frank Bush delenda est
and we have a winner
fairness to diles, he played well last year, but that had to do with cush IMO
but hey if VY is a pro bowler, why not Diles
But he Does it
In a cost effective way
"I want you guys to pair up in groups of three and then line up in a circle." - Bill Peterson former Oilers Coach
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 15, 2010 2:22 PM CST up reply actions
lets put all the texans on a boat
with a bunch of strippers. then we can find out who the dawgs are. shit matt leinhart just shat himself, but then said “wait, i want them UNDER 18”
The Vikings
Already tried that
"I want you guys to pair up in groups of three and then line up in a circle." - Bill Peterson former Oilers Coach
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 15, 2010 2:21 PM CST up reply actions
I think that earned the vikings a new coach...
whatever works
Don't ask me! Ask Google, you dumb Yahoo!
Yeah Chilly
"I want you guys to pair up in groups of three and then line up in a circle." - Bill Peterson former Oilers Coach
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 15, 2010 2:36 PM CST up reply actions
I will never jump ship on my team...
so I must just enjoy the fact the we have a team.
Brb is the best blog bar none, its kind of like TFA.
Texan Fan anonymous.
GO TEXANS!!!!
Our time will come...
by Texanmaniac on Nov 15, 2010 2:39 PM CST via mobile reply actions
I will never jump ship on my team...
so I must just enjoy the fact the we have a team.
Brb is the best blog bar none, its kind of like TFA.
Texan Fan anonymous.
GO TEXANS!!!!
Our time will come...
by Texanmaniac on Nov 15, 2010 2:44 PM CST via mobile reply actions
I will never jump ship on my team...
so I must just enjoy the fact the we have a team.
Brb is the best blog bar none, its kind of like TFA.
Texan Fan anonymous.
GO TEXANS!!!!
Our time will come...
by Texanmaniac on Nov 15, 2010 2:55 PM CST via mobile reply actions
I will never jump ship on my team...
so I must just enjoy the fact the we have a team.
Brb is the best blog bar none, its kind of like TFA.
Texan Fan anonymous.
Is this a pledge?
Don't ask me! Ask Google, you dumb Yahoo!
I will never jump ship on my team...
so I must just enjoy the fact the we have a team.
Brb is the best blog bar none, its kind of like TFA.
Texan Fan anonymous.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
Even More Emphatic thrice!
"I want you guys to pair up in groups of three and then line up in a circle." - Bill Peterson former Oilers Coach
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 15, 2010 4:47 PM CST up reply actions
I shall never say die... even when we were on route to the 0-16
i was really hoping for us to lose out but NOOOOO someone had to give us two wins!!! this year is not yet a wash. (OPTIMISM FOR THE WIN!) We could win out…. Wow I can’t believe i just said that…. the ladies of LA must have slipped me some roofies or something… or maybe it is just biodegradable eco-friendly bleach…
I heard Brian Cushing like to do it with girls in a really uncomfortable place and i am not talking about the back seat of a Volkswagen
Go Texans!
Blind Fandom
It’s all I got.
"Texans dames are better when I'm dunk" ~ Me @ Texans v. Chargers 2010
by LoneSpot on Nov 15, 2010 3:34 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
reading the open threads on game day..
that’s the shit that keeps me off the ledge.
laughter IS the best medicine and mine can be found in the comments section of this blog.
at the risk of sounding sappy….i feel like there are a bunch of kindred spirits here who really get the pain and horror of being a texans fan.
Props to everyone here!!!
"No matter where you go....There you are" - Buckaroo Banzai
by buckaroo_banzai on Nov 15, 2010 3:36 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
#6: lockout?
If I can’t enjoy football, then nobody can.
by Nashmeister on Nov 15, 2010 4:32 PM CST reply actions 4 recs
Good point
If we can’t be happy, no one else should be.
Frank Bush delenda est
No doubt BRB is the best Texans blog community going
Great writers (with a lot of wit I might add!), great analysis, great community – just great overall. As someone who didn’t play football growing up and took a late interest in it, I’ve learned a lot from this site and the people here. I’m never afraid to ask a question here.
BRB is far better than any of the other sites I visit – where people constantly call attention to themselves for having said something first and not having been “recognized” for it, complain constantly about things that don’t exist, call our players names as an ill-attempt at humor (thinking they play better because of it), etc etc etc. This is definitely the best community for Texans fans. Great senses of humor around here, too.
by WhiskeyR on Nov 15, 2010 4:36 PM CST reply actions 8 recs
Well, off to the bowling alley
Those pins don’t have a chance tonight…..
(will be thinking about the upcoming BRB Bowling Challenge at the end of the season, where it will be Rip, bfd, mano-a-mano combat on the boards)
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
Yikes
Guess I’d better practice a little. I haven’t been in a league in almost 10 years. It’s still short oil, right?
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
Sure, go ahead and practice if you think it will help you....
short oil…are we talking about your recreational sex life, or what?
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
You don't know that terminology???
Wow, I might be in better shape than I thought.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
by bigfatdrunk on Nov 15, 2010 11:25 PM CST up reply actions
Okay, keep thinking that
I won’t try to stop you….I’m not declaring any kind of victory before we ever throw a ball
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
You two...
It’s always oil & balls in your private conversations….
If the Treasury Secretary doesn't have to pay taxes, then why do I?
Agreed on all fronts
especially #4
I feel sense I’ve started joined this community of Texans fans I’ve not just grown as a Texans fan but of football as a total
you’ve literally opened my eyes to all sorts of info and stats to help me love the game even more
I thank Durga as much possible for letting me find ya’ll
GO TEXANS and GO BRB
GO TEXANS BELEDAT!
How
Is there not a #6: Dreaming of the Nose Tackle/Competent safety the Texans will draft in April not make the list?
Frank Bush delenda est
Because you're forgetting the third commandment of Texans drafting.
Thou shalt not pass on any available tight end available until th sixth round.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now help me find my pants!
by UprootedTexan on Nov 16, 2010 1:33 AM CST up reply actions
commence the beating of the dead horse
This comment has been brought to you by...
Clorox Eye Wash
Has the Texans defense become too excruciating to watch? Clorox Eye Wash is the solution for you. Apply directly to the eyes & the slight pain will provide everlasting relief from the vision of the Texans Defense
and by
Drano Classic Milkshakes
Drano Milkshakes, For when a slow, painful death is preferable to watching the Texans play defense
by The Night Owl on Nov 16, 2010 11:32 AM CST up reply actions

Houston Texans fan, first and foremost.
College football teams: Army, Syracuse, Texas, Auburn.
In Smithiak we trust(ed)!
by 5stringJeff on Nov 16, 2010 1:43 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Evidently, you didn't receive the memo
Sigs are hereby limitied to two line. Thank you.
I dub the jaguars..... untelevised!
I limited to two advertisements
Both of which are products we could use right about now
This comment has been brought to you by...
Clorox Eye Wash
Has the Texans defense become too excruciating to watch? Clorox Eye Wash is the solution for you. Apply directly to the eyes & the slight pain will provide everlasting relief from the vision of the Texans Defense
and by
Drano Classic Milkshakes
Drano Milkshakes, For when a slow, painful death is preferable to watching the Texans play defense
by The Night Owl on Nov 16, 2010 10:47 PM CST up reply actions
Trust me, I could have done much worse
This comment has been brought to you by...
Clorox Eye Wash
Has the Texans defense become too excruciating to watch? Clorox Eye Wash is the solution for you. Apply directly to the eyes & the slight pain will provide everlasting relief from the vision of the Texans Defense
and by
Drano Classic Milkshakes
Drano Milkshakes, For when a slow, painful death is preferable to watching the Texans play defense
by The Night Owl on Nov 16, 2010 10:48 PM CST up reply actions
I've got an idea for the next BRB meet-up location
The edge of a skyscraper
"...and Kareem Jackson will fall down..."
I went to a very nice edge of a cliff yesterday
We could always hit that up again, this time as a group.
When I was 18 during the texans first season, I said if after 15 years they haven’t won a playoff game I would disown them. I would never do that now, even if we went 0-16 four years in a row. But I honestly didn’t think we would be here, in year 9, talking about stuff like this. Worst defense EVAR. I’m also betting that if another team found a steal like Arian foster and had a shitty run game last year, they would continuously FEED HIM THE BALL. But not this team. Not these coaches. I swear I feel dumber after every fucking press conference…
by AllenOU on Nov 15, 2010 7:18 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
How many other franchises took longer than 9 years to make the playoffs?
I know it was 2, and I think one was the Saints. I can’t remember the other.
"...and Kareem Jackson will fall down..."
Quick research says the Falcons
Took the boys in Atlanta 13 years to get to the playoffs…
"...and Kareem Jackson will fall down..."
Uh, I'm guessing Tampa Bay?
…and New Orleans should count for three teams, because they had a couple of DECADES of suck before ever sniffing the playoffs if I remember correctly…
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do..."
Here we go. 9 years or longer.
Unless noted, this is all from the start of the Super Bowl Era (1966)
Arizona: 9 years (The franchise started in 1920 but did not play a playoff game until 1947. It also took them 10 years to get to the playoffs after their move to Arizona in 1988).
Atlanta: 12 years
Chicago: 11 years (Their franchise also started in 1920 but did not play a playoff game until 1933).
Denver: 17 years
Green Bay: Professional team started in 1921 but no playoff game until 1936.
New England: 10 years (They did get an AFL playoff birth three years after their birth, but that was not a NFL playoff spot).
New Orleans: 20 years
New York Giants: 15 years (They had pre-Super Bowl NFL Championships and playoff births….but post Super Bowl era? Nothing from 66-80)
Philadelphia: 12 years (Pre-SB era they went 14 years before their 1st playoff birth)
Pittsburgh: Pre-SB era they went 14 years without a playoff birth.
San Diego: 13 years (Like NE, they did make it in the AFL days though)
"Lord, beer me strength."
So yeah...
Those teams? 18 Super Bowl Trophies and 15 additional conference titles.
#justsayin
"Lord, beer me strength."
Nice research
Thanks TexansDC, I now have the upper-hand in casual football conversations with friends. Much appreciated.
"...and Kareem Jackson will fall down..."
I'm hanging with them by a thread, because it was worse in Houston when we didn't have a team
OK after a day of cooling off from the emotions of the loss yesterday. I gave some serious thought to what’s wrong and what needs to change.
1. Coaches need to instill discipline so the players don’t make brain dead mental errors on the field. Most of this game was lost by mental errors of the players.
2. Coaches who can call better play schemes on both sides of the ball, and manage the game better (timeout / challenges, sideline plays to save the clock vs over the middle, etc)
3. Develop a defense that works in the NFL. This scheme is a complete disaster!
4. GET SOME DT’s on the defensive line from FA or Draft, but get them already!
Notice I didn’t condone firing the coaches specifically, but Bob needs to consider whether this staff has what it takes. I think a strong leader DC replacing Bush could make a difference.
I’m not tossing out the linebackers and secondary just yet. I actually think both those young groups can get the job done with some more experience and if the defensive line was actually performing their role on run defense and pass rush.
Offense is fine if we instill discipline and better play calling, clock management, field position (pass beyond the first down markers), use time outs and challenges better, etc.
So basically, new DC and/or HC/DC combo. DT’s priority in draft & FA. Then we’ll have a 13-3 capable team and win championships.
Oh, here's more good:
Say what you will about our defense, but at least we don’t give up 45 points in just one half. Also, at least we didn’t just give McNabb a five-year contract extension.
New Texans motto: “could’ve been worse”,
Oh, jesus.
Forgot about that game. Kareem might want to fake an injury when that comes up. It’s going to be an absolute thrashing.
Nice post
I was actually thinking today, our team isn’t too far off. We might need a new D-coordinator and a entire defensive draft, along with a free agent signing. Then we are back in serious contention next year. Jackson is making improvement , if it takes him 20 games to get a solid feel for the NFL,so be it. At least he is learning to play the ball and be physical. Once he puts it together he should be solid. Now we just need a Top 10 free safety, 1 upgrade on D-line, and a starter at Linebacker. First 4 draft picks and 1 top 10 free agent could take care of 3 glaring holes. That first round center can wait another year.
Kubiac really disappointed me so far this season. Maybe with a Wade Phillips/Brad Childress defensive coordinator he would be a little more on point. I really think Smith should be let go, just so players can attach some of their baggage to him and feel a little better. Subconsciously they would probably have a little more confidence, knowing the guy that gets them pre-pared was deemed inept. Therefore certain problems they were having could vary easily have been partly his fault. Yes i gave up on this year already. We are still fun to watch. They are still my team and have my full support. I just cant fathom us ripping 6 wins in 7 games, with this defense.
Then you wind up starting three rookies next year...
When one of our other starters takes a season-ending injury, and two of those three rookies are terrible, you’re back to square one.
If you want a serious turn-around, it’s gotta happen through free agency. The Jets didn’t just become the best defense in the league because of Rex Ryan; they went out and splurged on free agents: Kris Jenkins, Bart Scott, Calvin Pace, Cromartie. Even on offense they went out and got big-name players.
No more complacency in free agency. With no salary cap, this was the year for McNair to show that he was serious about winning, and that this isn’t just a money-making venture for him. He passed, and now he has mediocrity.
by Nashmeister on Nov 16, 2010 10:53 AM CST up reply actions
Fair enough
I did include one free agent . Hell we could package up our 2nd and 4th for a quality safety. Trade a first and some random ass player- JJ , DA, Tight end etc. for a stud DT that wants a new contract. As long as the player is in his 20’s it would be well worth it. Hey maybe we can trade our first straight up for BABIN? : \
I have to agree with every point. bfd.
Especially teh Schaub to AJ and watching Foster….when he’s given a chance to run.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid

by 






















