*takes off face mask*
Chris Myers: Infiltrating Qatar's national falconry team has been harder than I thought it would. Especially with how hard it is to breathe under this mask. The CIA did a great job getting me here, keeping me undercover by giving me a job no one expects a spy to have: a vacationing football player. But my time is running out, and I need to find those chemical weapons facilities before all is lost.
Falconer: (Hey rookie, get over here, I want to see your skills.)*
*quickly puts mask back on*
Myers: Okay coach! Oops, I mean, (okay coach!)
Falconer: (Is something wrong? Your face looks a little flat.)
Myers: (No, no, I'm fine. Just...desert fever. Yes, that'll do. What is it coach?)
Falconer: (Well, I hear your bird is quite an impressive specimen. Can I see it in action?)
Myers: (Sure, here he is. They call him the) Gamecock Ballhawk!
Fred Bennett: 'Sup y'all.
Falconer: (That's a weird looking bird. Is it ash-shahain? Al-sinyari?)
Bennett: You lookin down on me? I'm the Gamecock Ballhawk! I trained for months for this. I'm ready. You'll all see that I can still play!
Myers: As a falcon.
Bennett: Right, right dawg. As a falcon.
*Assumes pre-snap stance*
Falconer: (You talk to him in English?)
Myers: (It's the only language he understands.)
Falconer: (Ah. Well then, tell him that this pigeon is his first target.)
Myers: Bennett! Catch that bird!
*backpedals 20 yards, stands still, staring at the Falconer, as the pigeon flies over his head*
Myers: Uh, Fred. You're supposed to chase the bird. What are you standing there for?
Bennett: Oh! Damn, sorry. I thought we was playin' zone coverage.
Myers: ...when the ball goes over your head in zone coverage, aren't you supposed to run after it?
Bennett: Texans zone coverage.
Falconer: (That was horrendous. If you want to make the team, your bird needs a lot more work. I've trained chipmunks to catch better than that. And considering I live in Qatar, where there are no chipmunks, well, you see where I'm going with this.)
Myers: (He's just a little rusty. He hasn't been getting much action lately.)
Falconer: (Not breeding him should make him go faster. I'm not quite sure how I understood that connotation of action though. Seems like the kind of phrase that shouldn't carry over to Arabic.)
Myers: (Don't worry, it's all just a weird part of how the world works. Sort of like how I can't help saying my secret purpose aloud. Erm, I mean, yeah, Bennett just needs to get off the benc...performs worse when he's not breeding.)
Bennett: Hell yeah. Where the women at? Erryone in a dress. it's hard to tell. Now c'mon, gimme somethin' else. I need to redeem myself!
Myers: (Give him something easier, he needs to start off slow.)
*releases a rabbit*
*hops slowly towards Bennett*
*backpedals 8 yards, continues to look at the Falconer*
Myers: Bennett, it's a run play! Don't lose contain!
Bennett (loudly): Contain? What the hell is that?
*starts scampering around faster, scared by Bennett's loud voice, then runs right by him*
Bennett (shouting): Aw, it's on now little man! I'm gonna catch you!
*chases the rabbit around in circles*
*continues to be scared by Bennett's loud voice, runs closer to Myers and The Falconer*
Bennett (shouting): I got you! I got you! Cornered. No way you can make it out Rock and hard place, baby.
*jumps at Myers, who falls down immediately, then runs right over him.*
*trips on Myers' face mask, knocking it off, then falls to the ground as the rabbit scurries away*
Myers: I knew I should've picked Brent Grimes. Ugh...
(To be continued...)