Fake Application: The BRB Questionnaire
by TexansDC on Jun 8, 2010 2:35 PM CDT
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Alright, bear with me a minute, fellow Texan fans. I just have to fill out this little questionnaire for Tim, and then we will get down to business. He said it shouldn't take too long. I just got to bold the answers so he knows where my mental state is before I get sucked even further down the rabbit hole. We'll put in a jump though so I don't lose approval at the start.
1) Do you believe in Smithiak?
A) Yes.
B) No, but I really mean yes.
C) DID WE NOT JUST HAVE THE BEST SEASON IN FRANCHISE HISTORY!!!!!!?????
D) Only if he trades for Vince Young.
2) 2006 NFL Draft, the Texans...
A) Made the right choice cause Mario Williams is a beast.
B) Reggie Bush just won a Super Bowl! We could've done the same!
C) Two words, Tennessee style: Vince Young. Just. Wins. Games.
D) I love fat DTs, so Haloti Ngata was my man.
3) Mike just wrote a post suggesting that Owen Daniels won't be on the roster in 2011. He sounds a bit negative. You...
A) Call Mike a hater.
B) Encourage Mike to drink the Battle Red Kool-Aid.
C) Shrug your shoulders and do nothing.
D) Offer Mike a ride to Ben Tate's house to cheer him up.
4) Your alcoholic choice of preference is....
A) Coors Light.
B) Zima.
C) The BRB Special - 1/2 Zima and 1/2 Coors Light with a dash of Johnnie Walker (Deep Steel) Blue.
D) Bleach.
5) Your favorite non-BRB SB Nation Personality is...
A) Jonathan Loesche - The LA Jaguars #1 fan.
B) Big Blue Shoe - Brian Cushing's #1 fan.
C) SSReporters - Brian Russell's #1 fan.
D) August West - Cause he loves Vince Young too!
6) Your favorite BRBer is...
A) Tim - the snuggly, wuggly teddy bear
B)
C)
D)
E)
7) You will write....
A) Non-stop about the need for a fat DT.
B) Poems about Trinidon Holliday and his awesome speed.
C) Odes to the glory that is Tight Ends.
D) Letters demanding admittance into the Jacoby Jones School of Language at Texas Tech
8) You will demand....
A) More Halfback passes.
B) More TEs.
C) More drafted Texas Longhorns.
D) A trade to bring back Dunta Robinson.
9) The Texans just went 3-and-out on their first drive. You...
A) Applaud and say "Nice try, boys."
B) Rip Kubiak and say you could've called better plays.
C) Curl into the fetal position and say "We're doomed. Dooooooomed."
D) Wish the QB would've pulled a VY, ignored the playcalls, and scrambled for touchdowns.
10) Never...
A) Say Tim was wrong.
B) Get between bfd and Jordann.
C) Forget to post a Weekly Round-Up without a cheerleader.
D) Bad-mouth Patrick Willis.
Now that I finished that, I have to say it's a bit odd to write something for the front page as a staff writer. Odd, but awesome - just like BRB on a daily basis. Tim, I have to thank you for the opportunity to jump in and play here. Hopefully, I'll get my writing up to snuff or may Tim Tebow have mercy on my soul.
My main goal is to just continue to add to the colorful posts on BRB and get the conversation going. I've written up posts and comments backing up Dunta, dissing on OD, and painting Ryan Mathews as a third-rounder so I don't have to say I may write things that go against the grain...even though I just did. Darn.
Alright, that's about it for now. Thanks again for the opportunity, Tim, and hopefully we'll all get to write Zima-fueled posts about the BEST SEASON IN FRANCHISE HISTORY!!!!!!1111
Go Texans!
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welcome in?
that’s what she said.
"jawala huvada haba den!!!!!!!! whaddya ?????????????? ?????????????? bluhrea rains it's gonna be leakin' in hea now!" - don vito
http://www.twitter.com/doobieman21
by chrisd21 on Jun 8, 2010 2:57 PM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
congrats!
but the star as the avatar….
time for an upgrade brotha.
"jawala huvada haba den!!!!!!!! whaddya ?????????????? ?????????????? bluhrea rains it's gonna be leakin' in hea now!" - don vito
http://www.twitter.com/doobieman21
agreed
He needs something badass, like an anteater.
Rudimentary creatures of flesh and blood, you touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding.
Done. Anteater...
until something more badass appears.
Maybe I should’ve gone with the Broncogator….
"Lord, beer me strength."
hah that'll do i suppose
Zot Zot Zot
Rudimentary creatures of flesh and blood, you touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding.
Excellent First Post
Welcome aboard, TDC. And the first person who buys me The BRB Special at Champp’s on Thursday night gets an autographed picture of Kent Graham.
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
What about that picture of Brian Boitano
that he signed and that you framed?
Can I have that one instead?
I'd Sooner Give You My First Born
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
by Tim on Jun 9, 2010 2:01 PM CDT up reply actions
Bienvenidos
Glad there’s somebody here who can pick up my slack. :-)
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
by bigfatdrunk on Jun 8, 2010 3:36 PM CDT reply actions 3 recs
In order for someone to slack,
their previous works shouldve been fantastic or at least up to par.
And no, the Saturday Night Tunes dont count as a fantastic post.
by Jordann on Jun 8, 2010 10:01 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
How about the post: "How Did We Do in 2009" posted on May 19, 2010?
I suppose if all of the stars, moons and planets align it could be possible, but what are the chances of that?
Well TDC
you finally made it to the big leagues… What are you going to do now?
a) go to Disney Land
b) visit the White House
c) spank the monkey to all of tim’s post (Because we all know Jordann does)
d) Write some incredulous posts about how if LDJA12 and Doublestack were to have a child it would be BBS.
"Your mother is a hamster and your father smells of elderberries! Now Go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"
Go Texans!
Damn
I really would post something funny here, but there are two problems:
1) Other than me, nobody thinks I’m funny(assholes)
and
2) I’m really stoked that you got this.
I know I haven’t been posting here for very long, so I haven’t seen a ton of the greatness that is BRB, but I have to say, your posts have been some of my favorite reads on the site over the last few months.
I’ll be expecting 3500 word masterpieces at least once every 3-6 hours now, or I’ll never forgive you
Just your average, run of the mill hardcore casual Texans fan.
congrats tdc!
i’ve only been around here a few months and i can tell you it is well deserved. from the editor down to the authors, there is alot of talented writers here. i found this site through CBS, thats where i play most of my fantasy. are CBS and SB nation connected? just wondering cuz SB’s posts are on every team page.
Don't ask me! Ask Google, you dumb Yahoo!
CBS and SB Nation
Yes, SB Nation does have a partnership with CBS through Sportsline. We’re also hooked up with Yahoo, National Football Post, and a handful of other outlets.
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
by Tim on Jun 8, 2010 4:48 PM CDT up reply actions
Congrats TDC!
Well deserved nod for the Tom Hanks of the Texans blogosphere.
380 pounds of pure pirogi
If TDC Is Tom Hanks...
What does that make MDC, Kerns, Rivers, TGC, DreKeem, and BFD? Or Chris over at Houston Diehards?
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
by Tim on Jun 8, 2010 4:51 PM CDT up reply actions
I've given this some thought...
MDC = James Cameron: Only works twice a decade, but when he does it’s epic.
Kerns = Brett Ratner. Prolific box office hound.
Rivers = Joaquin Phoenix: ’Cause he had a brother named River.
TGC = Jud Apatow: ’Cause he gets teen angst and makes that shit funny
DreKeem = Roman Polanski: ’Cause you never hear from either and I believe both were once accused of statutory rape. Allegedly.
BFD = Steven Spielberg: ’Cause their both Jewish.
HDHC = Kevin Smith: Works best independently.
Tim = Ron Howard: The baby faced assassin that makes it all work.
380 pounds of pure pirogi
by LoneSpot on Jun 8, 2010 5:12 PM CDT up reply actions 8 recs
Jake = Lindsay Lohan: Great start out of the gate...then fell apart
by ~Buck on Jun 8, 2010 5:27 PM CDT up reply actions 6 recs
Wouldn't BFD be more like Lindsay Lohan? Their drinking habits are similar
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.
by The Night Owl on Jun 10, 2010 10:16 PM CDT up reply actions
Wait a minute...
How do you know I’m Jewish?
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
As musical artists
Tim: David Crosby – Original supergroup creator, only one that appears on The Simpsons.
MDC:: Trent Reznor – Terrific on his own for awhile, now only periodically emerges to poop on people.
BFD: John Bonham – Like all drummers: keeps the beat and complains about not getting laid.
Kerns: Zack de la Rocha – Because Kerns is always raging against the machine. And real metal groups would just be too easy.
TDC : Flea – Cause he just seems to consistently crank out solid stuff and stays very naked.
TGC: John Cale – Old. Every post he makes reads like “The Murder Mystery”.
HDHC: Elliott Smith – Works great independently, now lets hope it doesn’t make him kill himself.
DreKeem: Kim Gordon – Speaks softly and not very often. Always comes around when I’m near a Borders.
Scott: Pete Best – Too logical.
Jake: Meg White – Super consistent, then just sorta fell off. Maybe he’s back soon?
Riott: will.i.am – Hasn’t done anything since Summer 2009.
I’ll leave me to someone else.
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter
by riversmccown on Jun 8, 2010 6:43 PM CDT up reply actions 7 recs
For Rivers...
I can’t think of anyone grumpy enough…Maybe Liam Gallagher of Oasis.
by Mike Kerns on Jun 8, 2010 10:04 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
rivers: Courtney Love – Quite good; in love with something brilliant but ultimately self-destructive
by killtacular on Jun 9, 2010 3:11 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
True, I will sleep with anybody.
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter
by riversmccown on Jun 9, 2010 8:27 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Old?
Get off my lawn, you damn kid.
I'll eliminate you like I eliminate gluten from my diet.
by tehGrindCrusher on Jun 9, 2010 4:07 AM CDT up reply actions
MDC:: Trent Reznor – Terrific on his own for awhile, now only periodically emerges to poop on people.
Both figuratively and (when BFD’s check clears) literally.
"MDC: Droppin' knowledge like a librarian with Parkinson's." --Jonathan Loesche
This is good news....
but, where is the choice for other?
I suppose if all of the stars, moons and planets align it could be possible, but what are the chances of that?
www.chron.com
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter
by riversmccown on Jun 8, 2010 6:11 PM CDT up reply actions 8 recs
Rec'd
Big Cat Country, The #1 Jaguars blog on the net
by Jonathan Loesche on Jun 8, 2010 5:30 PM CDT reply actions
Also, you stole my damn catchphrase
Big Cat Country, The #1 Jaguars blog on the net
by Jonathan Loesche on Jun 8, 2010 6:15 PM CDT reply actions
I <3 Tim Tebow?
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
by bigfatdrunk on Jun 8, 2010 6:25 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
I Love L.A.?
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
by Tim on Jun 8, 2010 6:40 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
Bud Adams for mayor?
Big Cat Country, The #1 Jaguars blog on the net
by Jonathan Loesche on Jun 8, 2010 6:57 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
drops knowledge like a librarian with Parkinson’s.
Big Cat Country, The #1 Jaguars blog on the net
by Jonathan Loesche on Jun 8, 2010 6:57 PM CDT up reply actions
To be fair...
I hijacked that from you first.
"MDC: Droppin' knowledge like a librarian with Parkinson's." --Jonathan Loesche
Interesting fact-based analysis ^
If the Treasury Secretary doesn't have to pay taxes, then why do I?
Well
fact based analysis is why you guys get the, um, big bucks :)
Although, Mathews will be the #1 RB on a great team, he’s actually quite good, and the other potential candidates don’t stack up as well (he’s best positioned of the RBs, and none of the QBs or WRs are in as good a position).
I would agree that Mathews is in the right situation....
clear-cut #1 guy, workhorse load, still not sold on SD’s line, but he’s where he should be even if San Diego overpaid to get him.
I’ll stand by the fact that Houston had to go defense and not burn a 1st rounder on a RB who would have split time.
"Lord, beer me strength."
Ya
I agree on everything re: Houston, they did what they should have done (although I still think Wilson would have been a better choice, but thats just me). SD maybe overpaid in the conventional sense, although I think in the MDC-sense they did ok. And barring Bradford leading the Rams to the playoffs, Bryant being the Cowboy’s top receiver, or injuries, the OROY is pretty much Mathew’s to lose (although your concerns about SD’s line are definitely real). So, in any case, I’m not sure about him being a “third rounder” :)
Rec'd
About damn time.
You definitely deserve it TDC.
Keep it up man. You know, the posting of hot women in your write-ups. So I can keep it up too.
Congrats TDC
I’m digging the sloth. About time the star went!
by HoustonTransplant on Jun 9, 2010 3:57 AM CDT reply actions
Welcome to the club, TDC
Did Tim mention the initiation process? We all had to go through it.
I'll eliminate you like I eliminate gluten from my diet.
I'm going to leave TDC alone....
I suppose if all of the stars, moons and planets align it could be possible, but what are the chances of that?
I've been meaning to ask
What does the “DC” in “TexansDC” stand for?
I’ll await your prompt response.
380 pounds of pure pirogi
My initials
A lot of friends have taken to calling me “DC” as I get older. So it was the first thing that popped into my head when picking a handle here.
"Lord, beer me strength."
I was thinking about the time my wife caught me with her best friend...
I suppose if all of the stars, moons and planets align it could be possible, but what are the chances of that?
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