Yep. You read it right. But you understood it wrong.
That's the name of my team in the Jonathan Wells Memorial League, where picking a player with high levels of suck is more important than stats. Im sure you've heard about it.
After seeing a post by Rivers in the front page, I was going to reply with my roster, but my team is far too grand to be washed away in the comments section. So I decided to write a fan post about it!
Rd 1 - Pick 4
Decided to go with Josh Freeman for my first pick. Can't go wrong with a QB that doesn't know what he's doing out there! Though I may have to pay for his tendency to run, it might reward me with some fumbles too. Oh, and did you know that he play for the B(s)uc(k)s So he's definitely worthy of my first pick. It says that he's questionable to start the season, but that's what my back up QB is for!
Rd 2 - Pick 9
My initial thought was to draft Larry Johnson, but because I couldn't find him (too lazy) I went with a starter that's guaranteed to never have enough yards and touchdowns every season. Laurence Maroney. I dont remember the last time he rushed for 100yd/game and im pretty sure you don't either. So if you drafted him this season, you're probably doing it wrong.
Rd 3 - Pick 4
I still couldn't find Larry Johnson so I decided to go with a safe(see; suck) pick. Marcedes Lewis. Seriously, when did you ever hear any news about Marcedes Lewis having a break out game. Or even scoring a touchdown. Or even passing the 75 yd mark. Never. Sorry Loesche, I had to.
Rd 4 - Pick 9
You can never go wrong with a Bucaneers offensive player. NEVER. Especially now when it's looking like they have a legit long threat receiver in Mike Williams. But when he's double covered, who would inexperienced Josh Freeman throw to? His WR2. Maurice Stovall. And what are the chances of that ball getting intercepted. Fairly high. So he's a great 4th rd pick.
Rd 5 - Pick 4
Without a draft strategy to go with, I decided to go through the list of players and go with the first person that sucks the most. Matt Moore, come on right up!
Rd 6 - Pick 9
I needed another low quality receiver so the name Nate Burleson popped up in my head. Unfortunately, Evan drafted him in Rd 5 so I had to scramble around to find this one. Justin Gage. My reasoning? He plays for Methopotamia and the stench of incest in the air usually causes their wide recievers to suck. Makes sense right?
Rd 7 - Pick 4
I started thinking about Prop 19, and how California will undoubtedly pass it this coming November. And then I started thinking about those good ole days. Then I started thinking about famous people who smokes. Ricky Williams came up. So I drafted him.
Rd 8 - Pick 9
Steve Johnson. Who is Steve Johnson? Exactly.
Rd 9 - Pick 4
The Queen of Suck. Master of the Fetal Position. Winner of the NFL's Trendsetter of the Year award(2007,2008, 2009, and 2010). Please welcome. David "Mittens" Carr!
Rd 10 - Pick 9
Rd 11 - Pick 4
Another Jacksonville receiver. Mike Thomas.
Rd 12 - Pick 4
I needed a Kicker so I decided to go with Ryan Lindell. Kris Brown was still available but I decided that being reminded about last season and how becoming an alcoholic is not the best career path is a bad thing.
Rd 13 - Pick 9
Sage Rosenfels. Oh come on. Like you didn't see that coming!
Rd 14 - Pick 4
Vikings back up RB. Albert Young. Im hoping that Purple Jesus tears an ACL or two so I can finaly win in my other FF Leagues. And when that happens, im hoping that Albert Young shows us how much he sucks.
Rd 15 - Pick 9
And that's it folks. The roster that will win the inagural Jonathan Wells Memorial League!