The "Andre Johnson is Riiiiich, Biyatch!!!" Thread
by Mike Kerns on Aug 5, 2010 12:29 PM CDT
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With the Texans having a press conference scheduled for 1:30 p.m. today to announce the details of Andre Johnson's new contract with the Texans, making him the highest paid WR in the league, here is the open thread to discuss all things 'Dre.
You can watch the press conference live on HoustonTexans.com
UPDATE: Per the Chronicle's Twitter:
Johnson received a two-year extension worth $38.5 million, including $13 million guaranteed. Counting the 5 yrs and $35 million left on old contract, his deal is worth 7 yrs & $73.5 million – an avg $10.5 million a year. Deal makes Texans' Johnson highest-paid receiver in NFL.
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Schaub & others
comment about Andre in a video here:
http://www.houstontexans.com/tv/index.asp?mm_file_id=4198&play_clip=y
Hellz yeah biatches
Tonight is gonna be sick
So 75 mil with 37.5 gtd. Sounds close
by AllenOU on Aug 5, 2010 12:36 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Dave Chappelle
was one of the funniest people on earth for those couple years his show was on.. What happend to him anyways?
by ketchuppants7 on Aug 5, 2010 12:48 PM CDT up reply actions
Went to Africa for no apparent reason & hasn't been the same since
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.
by The Night Owl on Aug 5, 2010 12:49 PM CDT up reply actions
If you haven't seen him on Inside the Actors Studio
fucking do it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj1D_kDUbic. I’m too lazy to get to the part where he actually explains why he gtfo to Africa, but it makes sense when you listen to the man.
Why?
He was rich, he was sick of hollywood and fame, and he decided to get out. At least thats how I see it.
I understand that, but again he ain't been the same since
Then again, I doubt anyone is the same after their father dies
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.
by The Night Owl on Aug 5, 2010 1:05 PM CDT up reply actions
I don't think he is trying to be the same
Which is what I’m trying to say. He wanted OUT of Hollywood.
I'm with nollie
I can see the reasoning. When you’re as intellectual as Chappelle is, you’re eventually going to stop thinking about how you’re getting laughs and instead think about why you’re getting laughs.
Honestly, I’m not a big fan of racism-based jokes. Chappelle was able to make me laugh anyway, because he was hilarious and he knew how to poke it in the right spot. But in the end, he was still getting laughs based on that. And I think that killed him.
Besides, I’m sure he had plenty of money by that point.
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter | SB Nation Houston | Battle Red Blog
One of those things
That I just don’t think we could ever understand because of the money on the table. But if it’s what he wanted to do, and he really needed to get away, who am I to judge?
by DisplacedTexan on Aug 5, 2010 1:04 PM CDT up reply actions
Still is hilarious
Watch his stand-up piece from San Fran that he did post-Africa trip. Still hilarious.
Chappelle – in my humble opinion – is the greatest comedian of the last 15-20 years. His “Killing them Softly” stand-up is my favorite stand-up routine ever. It’s amazing.
And yeah, his Inside the Actors Studio is great. He also hosted one where he interviewed Lipton. Fantastic stuff… come back to us, Dave!
by DisplacedTexan on Aug 5, 2010 1:03 PM CDT up reply actions
His Sesame Street bit is one of my favorites
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUmYGLIubho
"Lord, beer me strength."
Bitch, I live in a fucking trash can!
I’m the poorest mother fucker on sesame street! None of yall helpin’ me!
by DisplacedTexan on Aug 5, 2010 1:11 PM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
SHUT UP NIGGA I GOT KIDS TO FEED
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter | SB Nation Houston | Battle Red Blog
I didn't know I couldn't do that
Pretty good, huh?
by DisplacedTexan on Aug 5, 2010 1:14 PM CDT up reply actions
Just sprinkle some crack on him
and let’s get out of here.
by Vince Stros on Aug 6, 2010 10:43 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Reced
The first time I saw that I almost passed out I laughed so hard.
Funniest bit I've heard in a while
Eddie Izzard ftw:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp69rg6Hdlo
I'll eliminate you like I eliminate gluten from my diet.
by tehGrindCrusher on Aug 5, 2010 3:57 PM CDT up reply actions
You're Jeff Vader?
This one’s wet. This one’s wet. Did you dry these in a rainforest? Why with the power of the death star do we not have dry trays?
by DisplacedTexan on Aug 6, 2010 9:05 AM CDT up reply actions
His show had two express purposes:
1) To create a far-reaching comedy sketch show that didn’t patronize its African-American viewers; one with which African-American viewers could identify.
2) To raise racial consciousness among everyone who saw the show, in hopes that it would dispell racist notions and and form a sort of bridge between its target audience and the general audience.
He became disillusioned when racists, misunderstanding the show and its purpose, managed to enhance and enlarge their racist sentiments rather than grow and learn from it. He left to Africa and vowed to never continue the show because of this.
by krkenney on Aug 5, 2010 1:11 PM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
Also pissed w/ the network
He felt he was losing control of his show and that Comedy Central was pushing it in a direction to get the most viewers / make the most money… and he didn’t like where it was going.
I know the cynical side in people wants to view it as a stunt, but I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt if he wanted to take off and sort himself out.
by DisplacedTexan on Aug 5, 2010 1:14 PM CDT up reply actions
As much as I loved Dave
My favorite comic of the last 20 years was Bill Hicks…and it isn’t even close.
Denis Leary
Owes his career to Bill Hicks – and by that I mean, he stole all of his material because Denis Leary is an unfunny piece of shit. And a Red Sox fan.
by DisplacedTexan on Aug 5, 2010 1:35 PM CDT up reply actions
Obviously you don't watch Rescue Me
Now that’s a great show
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.
by The Night Owl on Aug 5, 2010 1:48 PM CDT up reply actions
Obviously,
yall get so wrapped up in watching crappy ole Rescue Me when you should really be watching Louie.
Hilarious comedian is hilarious.
I think I'm the only one who isn't fully behind this idea....
8 year contract, didn’t play halfway through….sure, he’s a special player, but at least play 4 years under the deal.
Maybe it’ll be (future) cap friendly, but still….they better lock him up for his entire career.
"Lord, beer me strength."
Often I'd agree with you
I’m leery of just throwing money at players. But I’m willing to make a big exception for AJ
The guy has done nothing but produce at a high level since we drafted him. He’s quiet, goes about his business, represents the team well on and off the field, and is the consummate professional.
I have no doubt he’ll continue to produce at that same high level and man I want him in a Texans jersey until the day he retires. He’s going to be the first “legendary” player for this franchise.
Well… second if you count Jonathan Wells (guy has a whole LEAGUE named after him).
by DisplacedTexan on Aug 5, 2010 12:41 PM CDT up reply actions
Is this also McNair making up for Andre's uncle almost screwing him over?
It was his own damn fault for picking family to manage his contract/career, but I could see McNair giving him a mulligan just so he doesn’t feel like the team hosed him.
agree'd
I just hope they dont put escolators in his contracts that 5 or 6 yrs down he will be too expensive for the Texans to keep around and he’ll get cut or released and he signes with another team, this man cannot be in another jersey besides a texans or probowl one
by ketchuppants7 on Aug 5, 2010 12:47 PM CDT up reply actions
Re: I think I'm the only one who isn't fully behind this idea....
I thought you had come around on it....
but yeah, don’t like the exception, but it’s hard to argue against Andre. I guess the terms of the contract will sway me one way or another.
"Lord, beer me strength."
Here is my question though
When Andre signed his last contract, did that make him the highest paid WR?
by theaxeeffect4311 on Aug 5, 2010 1:16 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
I Don't Believe So
It put him in the highest-guaranteed WR neighborhood, but I don’t think it was the highest guaranteed money for a WR at the time.
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
by Tim on Aug 5, 2010 1:26 PM CDT up reply actions
It wasn't that far off from what other top WR's were getting
…but it was considered a great deal. For the Texans.
"Well, at least our players kept their helmets on, so that showed some intelligence"-Bob McNair
God forbid we'd make the best player on the team feel special!
When theres equal contribution there will be equal treatment. Until then, the more special you are on the field, the more special you are. Look at Favre, Revis, Haynesworth, at least we got a decent guy that isn’t a giant team distraction. GO Andre, You deserve it!
It's the way of the NFL.
I’m fine with it as long as McNair is focusing his big money on the players that actually deserve it, like Andre.
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter | SB Nation Houston | Battle Red Blog
dudes the best WR in the game
he should be paid like it
Rockets-Texans-Dynamo-Longhorn fan.. used to be Astros too, but not sure there a pro team anymore
OT anyone ever been to the FedexField(Redskins)
Where is a good place to sit? If I sit in a lower level sideline location will my view be obstructed? If I sit in the Upper Level will I even be able to see the game/avoid being shanked? This will only be my second NFL live nfl game so I’m feeling a bit lost
I dunno
but why not go ask the guys at Hogs Haven (or whatever its called)? I’m sure they’d be able to tell you.
"Lord, beer me strength."
Good idea
of course they have that stupid waiting period bullshit though. I want my tickets noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow
They're nice peeps over there, too
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
Definitely Hogs Haven Is The Way To Go
If you’re having problems with the waiting period, try e-mailing one of the managers there to see if they can get you in quicker and/or answer your question off-site.
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
by Tim on Aug 5, 2010 1:07 PM CDT up reply actions
I'll be there
Section 406 row 12, I’m hoping I don’t get shanked myself. Its my first NFL game so hopefully it goes good.
True DC area not as bad but has interesting areas they can give you the pucker factor for a non-threating guy like myself.
Meh
DC is fine. Just stay away from Southeast/Anacostia and you’ll be fine.
I'll eliminate you like I eliminate gluten from my diet.
by tehGrindCrusher on Aug 5, 2010 4:12 PM CDT up reply actions
Am I the only person who actually likes Philly???
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
I ain't ever been
but when you hear of batteries being thrown, opposing fans being spit on, and people vomiting on little children then it doesn’t put me in any rush to go.
"Lord, beer me strength."
Philly Cheesesteaks
Are wonderful, just can’t stand the way they talk, woder vs. water and crick vs. creek something just not right about it. Their hoagies are good from up there too and yuengling too
Philly would be great
If it wasn’t for all the Philadelphians.
They do make a mean cheesesteak though. Jim’s is the best. F you if you say Pats or Genos.
by DisplacedTexan on Aug 5, 2010 1:24 PM CDT up reply actions
I found a little hole in the wall....
just up the road from the Boeing Ridley Park plant that was the best….and I was trying cheese steak for at least one meal a day the whole week I was there.
I had been warned about Pats and Genos so I stayed away from them.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
Pats or Genos
Couldn’t resist.
/puberty
"I like watching the old naked couple on public access...until the guy stands up, then it sux." ~ BFD
by LoneSpot on Aug 6, 2010 10:57 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
I like Philly
as a place to go hang out (I live pretty close), even if they are all kinda assholes, but I might think twice about going to an Eagles game wearing the other teams jersey …
You should be safe unless you wear a Cowboys jersey
If you do, any ass kicking or shanking you get is deserved
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.
by The Night Owl on Aug 5, 2010 1:54 PM CDT up reply actions
Is that Philly specific?
Seems like it should be standard practice everywhere
by Vega on Aug 5, 2010 2:27 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
No, that's DC only
In Philly, you get shanked for wearing Cowboys gear & shot for wearing Giants gear
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.
by The Night Owl on Aug 5, 2010 5:25 PM CDT up reply actions
Thread hijack
With Dumervil out for possibly the season, I think Schobel goes there. h/t ProFootbalFocus on Twitter, but it just makes a hella lot more sense.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
True
But I didn’t see Dumervil drop back too often. He was almost always used to rush. Plus, potential for far more PT there.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
He hates the 3-4.
And wants closer to home. Denver’s more likely to go after Adalius Thomas.
"Lord, beer me strength."
Adalius Thomas?
The guy who plays like he’s got one foot buried under the 30 yard-line?
No, I think they’ll go after Schobel. I don’t think they’ll succeed, because of the 3-4 scheme, but they’ll definitely put a word in.
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter | SB Nation Houston | Battle Red Blog
I was just going off of what guys at Mile High Report were saying
I had to check out the mood there because their fans have been preaching AFC West title on Mocking the Draft…..because they’d gotten rid of crap players….and they were the greatest team ever.
"Lord, beer me strength."
Andre Johnson
Is a bad ass mofo
It takes a big man to walk away, but a bigger man to break his freaking jaw!
andre the exception to the rule
he deserves it in so many ways. i don’t think i would be o.k. with this if it was anyone else in the entire league except for Brady or Pooten. at least we are loading him in an uncapped year.
Don't ask me! Ask Google, you dumb Yahoo!
When I see these live streams...
I always think they can see me too, so I point my webcam to the poster of Jimi Hendrix on my wall
Seriously
Now that I use skype quite a bit, I have a new “greatest fear.” If that blue light ever turns on, sheesh, I’m screwed.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
Like the school who was turning on the kids webcam's on their school laptops
Just to see what was going on.
"Well, at least our players kept their helmets on, so that showed some intelligence"-Bob McNair
That was incredible
In every meaningful bad way.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
We just had the janitor/equipment guy who got a little too excited for girls games
That’s just a good old fashioned peeping tom compared to the shit that school did.
"Well, at least our players kept their helmets on, so that showed some intelligence"-Bob McNair
Agreed....
to all of the above.
When the story first broke I kind of gave it the benefit of the doubt, ya know, sensationalism to get viewers/sell papers but the more that came out about how the school was using them….some scary shit.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
Bob McNair had to do this..
Andre has only done everything that was asked of him and far exceeded that over his career here and he never even once became a distraction.
McNair has set the precedent that if you act like Andre off the the field and produce anywhere close to Andre on the field, this organization will take care of you no matter the circumstances.
by leacheatsbabies on Aug 5, 2010 1:21 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
If someone's gonna be right there on camera....
can it be a cheerleader, not a middle aged dude?
"Lord, beer me strength."
its Marc Vandermeer MAN!
the freakin voice of the Texans!…haha he’s goofy looking for sure.
by leacheatsbabies on Aug 5, 2010 1:27 PM CDT up reply actions
No wonder he's just the voice then.....
Still, I demand cheerleaders until it starts.
"Lord, beer me strength."
This mic check guy is getting his money's worth
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter | SB Nation Houston | Battle Red Blog
If I was checking the mic I would be going all out.
“It’s my team….He’s my quarterback….”
From Scurfield
About a 10-minute delay in the start of Andre Johnson’s press conference. Large group of media awaiting. Should be starting soon
Rick:
“Makes him essentially a Texan for life”
by DisplacedTexan on Aug 5, 2010 1:47 PM CDT up reply actions
McNair talking about how he'll be the 1st HOFer....
May be playing when he’s 45……deserves this……all of that nice sounding stuff.
"Lord, beer me strength."
Quotes from Bob
“A future hall of famer….”
“Likely our first hall of fame player….”
Very flattering stuff from Rick and Bob
"Likely our first hall of fame player..."
Bob Mcnair is dismissing David Carr’s ability to bounce back.
Bob is also forgetting Corey Bradford.
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter | SB Nation Houston | Battle Red Blog
If you're keeping track.....
Andre signed an 8 year deal and played 3. The 5 years would take him to 2014. So it’s a 2 year extension to go to 2016….no money figures thrown out yet. Let’s hope those crackpot media types ask.
"Lord, beer me strength."
"Andre, hows it feel to be the highest paid receiver in the league?"
“it feels good. I can’t complain.”
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter | SB Nation Houston | Battle Red Blog
Stupid question 1
“How does it feel to be the highest paid WR in the league?”
"Lord, beer me strength."
lol
A Texas Wannabe, born and raised in New Zealand. Currently located 7539 miles South west of Houston.
by distant_texans_fan on Aug 6, 2010 2:13 AM CDT up reply actions
lol?
A Texas Wannabe, born and raised in New Zealand. Currently located 7539 miles South west of Houston.
by distant_texans_fan on Aug 6, 2010 2:13 AM CDT up reply actions
Were You Guys
Passing around AllenOU’s iPhone?
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
by Tim on Aug 6, 2010 9:52 AM CDT up reply actions
Why?
Do you think I tuned in Rick? Because I want to hear your voice?
no one ever releases terms publicly
….but they always mysteriously show up later.
"Well, at least our players kept their helmets on, so that showed some intelligence"-Bob McNair
The effect of renegotiating with 5 years left
Rick thought a lot about the precedent. Andre’s in an elite class, one of a few that deserves this treatment. Will tell players that when you perform on Andre’s level then you’ll get that kind of treatment.
"Lord, beer me strength."
Until the 2016 season.
Other terms will not be released.
So take it with a grain of salt?
I wonder how they structured it though…..had to think about the potential cap.
"Lord, beer me strength."
"I don't feel pressure playing the game of football."
Man, what a badass.
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter | SB Nation Houston | Battle Red Blog
Stupid Question #2
“Andre, does being highly paid add pressure to leading the Texans to the playoffs?”
“Uh… I’ve been playing since I was six years old.”
Andre
I feel no pressure to live up to the deal. Been playing since I was 6. I go out and show the love and passion for the game. I know my goals and will lay it all out on the field.
"Lord, beer me strength."
Doesn't every team?
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.
by The Night Owl on Aug 5, 2010 5:29 PM CDT up reply actions
http://twitter.com/ChronicleTexans/status/20409195980
Counting the 5 yrs and $35 million left on old contract, his deal is worth 7 yrs & $73.5 million – an avg $10.5 million a year.
haha pancakes
just waddled across the screen
I love that man!
Wow, that is one classy and humble badass. Couldn’t be happier to have him on our team for the rest of his career.
No
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
by bigfatdrunk on Aug 5, 2010 2:01 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
I just love being a jerk sometimes :-)
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Anything you want to buy now?"
“I’ll probably get my mom a new car for her birthday. It’s coming up soon.”
Who is this guy? Honestly.
by DisplacedTexan on Aug 5, 2010 2:15 PM CDT up reply actions
Tim Tebow's real father most likely
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.
by The Night Owl on Aug 5, 2010 5:31 PM CDT up reply actions
Pertinent SBNH Pimping
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter | SB Nation Houston | Battle Red Blog
by riversmccown on Aug 5, 2010 2:02 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Congrats. St. Andre
Humble, athletic, and all around awesome to QBs, bosses, and the entire city of Houston.
PRESS CONFERENCE QUOTES!
Quotes from Rick Smith and Andre Johnson – http://bit.ly/alhd1g
ANYBODY WATCHING SCOOT VAN PELT?
Somebody shoot these guys talking about Andre should have not got the deal.
Maybe andre van pelted his wife?
by AllenOU on Aug 5, 2010 2:30 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
They are probably right
he signed an 8 year deal, and only played 3 years of it. Coming at it as a business(you know that thing players always claim it is?), they are right.
TRUE
but do we want a disgruntled player, i mean andre means alot to this city more then anybody really knows. I understand where people come from on the bussines side, but one thing Andre did was stay positve he came to came to camp and should that he want to be here.
At least it's not a new deal
It’s an extension….that hopefully is cap friendly.
"Lord, beer me strength."
Yeah
but ESPN didn’t have that info, and of course, they didn’t care that they didn’t have any info.
exactly
They just tacked another couple years on. They didn’t rip up the old contract. AJ gets paid without setting a horrible precedent.
"Well, at least our players kept their helmets on, so that showed some intelligence"-Bob McNair
by papabear on Aug 5, 2010 2:42 PM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
Rec'd
That is what I like about it.
A Texas Wannabe, born and raised in New Zealand. Currently located 7539 miles South west of Houston.
by distant_texans_fan on Aug 5, 2010 4:41 PM CDT up reply actions
Goo'd for Goo sake
"I like watching the old naked couple on public access...until the guy stands up, then it sux." ~ BFD
Guess is toting us to the Big Show...
Andre Johnson said he won’t put added pressure on himself after signing a lucrative extension. “I know where I want the organization to be. If it’s up to me, I’ll tote them on my back to be playing at Cowboys Stadium at the end of this season.”
i love this guy and yes, it’s up to Andre…lead kid lead!!!!!
Don't ask me! Ask Google, you dumb Yahoo!
Thank You Andre!
Let’s all take some time to thank Mr. Johnson and McNair for keeping the best WR in the game in Houston for a long time. You deserve that money big guy, go out and get Houston some sports respect and beat them colts!
If Dre got paid this much.
Imagine how rich would Super Mario be with his shiny new contract. And if they use this as an excuse for not locking up Mario, I will burn this city down. And by this city, I mean Nashville.
I've got no problem making Mario Williams the best paid DE in the NFL
As soon as he leads the league in sacks two years running. Until then, I’m sure he’ll get paid well enough for his performances.
A Texas Wannabe, born and raised in New Zealand. Currently located 7539 miles South west of Houston.
by distant_texans_fan on Aug 6, 2010 2:17 AM CDT up reply actions 4 recs
Sorry, Mario Williams isn't intense enough to be a Texan long-term
We had this discussion last night.
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter | SB Nation Houston | Battle Red Blog
by riversmccown on Aug 6, 2010 10:03 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
He needs more foam around the mouth
Foam. I said FOAM.
"I like watching the old naked couple on public access...until the guy stands up, then it sux." ~ BFD
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