I know, some of you might be sayin', "Hey, dillwad, you can't post this after the first game!" And you're somewhat right. However, I did this before the first game last week, (I didn't want to push down better posts), I guessed the score of the Colts game as 31-24, and we could use some hangover-filler this morning. And my morning has just gotten really crazy, so here's a quick bfd-ian view of the season after the jumpity jump.
Week 1: Indianapolis Colts: Picked a win, mostly because I felt like we were due. Best case scenario was the offensive line and the large Arian Foster would thrash the smaller Colt defensive unit. Fortunately, this played out. (1-0)
Week 2: @ Washington Redskins: The 'Skins defense does scare me to a certain degree, especially considering the lack of success against ginormous NTs like Albert Haynesworth. However, it's not a contract year, so who knows which Fat Albert will actually show? Pick: Texans 31 - 10. (2-0)
Week 3: Dallas Cokeboys: Oh noes! The Redskins gameplanned to beat the Cokeboys! THAT ISN'T FAIR!@!~!@~!! Pick: Texans 24-10. (3-0)
Week 4: @ Oakland Raiders: This game scares the bejeezus out of me. As inconsistent as the Raiders play, they match up all too well against us. The loss of Brian Cushing will be most acutely felt here against Darren McFadden and a decent offensive line. Once a year, we play down to the level of our competition. Pick: Raiders 27 - 17. (3-1)
Week 5: New York Giants: I really don't have a good opinion of this year's Giants squad. Carolina is one of the worst teams in the league, and the Giants consistently struggled yesterday. They can neither run nor throw the ball consistently, and their defense is no longer a juggernaut. Pick: Texans 34-17. (4-1)
Week 6: Kansas City Chiefs: Tonight's matchup between the Chiefs and Chargers is intriguing to me. On paper, it looks like an obvious mismatch, but I think the Chiefs are going to be better, and the Chargers worse, than people think. Because we're at home, I like our chances, but I'm not counting on a cakewalk. Pick: Texans 27-24. (5-1)
Week 7: Bye
Week 8: @ Indianapolis Colts: I think the Colts will be a little angry, and I think the biggest difference between the two teams at this point is home field advantage. Pick: Colts 41-24. (5-2)
Week 9: San Diego Chargers: I simply don't think this is a good football team. They're going to struggle defensively, though they'll still put up points. I also see two former Texans in Travis Johnson and Fred Bennett playing important roles, which would scare me. Pick: Texans 45 - 21. (6-2)
Week 10: @ Jacksonville Jaguars: Why? Why oh why? Why oh why can we never beat the Jaguars? Pick: Jags 24-10. (6-3)
Week 11: @ New York Jets: The Texans, on the road, in November, in the Meadowlands. Crap. Pick: Jets 21-13. (6-4)
Week 12: Tennessee Titans: Mentally, I can see us getting plenty of revenge against teams that give us hell no matter their crappiness level. Pick: Texans 31-17. (7-4)
Week 13: @ Philadelphia Eagles: At this point, I like this matchup. The Eagles hung tough against the Pack yesterday, but this team doesn't look the same and they're already dealing with injuries. Pick: Texans 21-17. (8-4)
Week 14: Baltimore Ravens: I really, really don't like this game. The Ravens and Jets both have the defensive scheme and personnel to absolutely give us fits. Pick: Ravens 31-10. (8-5)
Week 15: @ BE-SFs: Mostly, as with the Colts, going with the home/away advantage. Pick: BE-SFs 31-28. (8-6)
Week 16: @ Denver Broncos: Even in the cold, Matt Schaub has proven he can perform (see Green Bay two years ago). And the Broncos are just a really bad team, even more poorly coached. Pick: Texans 37-13. (9-6)
Week 17: Jacksonville Jaguars: MDC and I team up to sacrifice a goat, a chicken, and a pig. We smoke them. We eat them. The Texans with a cathartic win. Pick: Texans 41-10. (10-6)
Look, when I ran through the season the first time and ended up
11-5 10-6, I was more shocked than the next person. I still have extremely very serious doubts about our defense, and Foster took just as much abuse as he doled out. We're now frighteningly thin at RB and DE, and our five CBs have a combined 48 games played. That's terrifying. But as we saw yesterday, we have improved the run game, which will only strengthen the passing game in the long run. Regardless, this will be an extraordinarily exciting team to watch this year, and yesterday was just a taste.
Edit: h/t CanadaGoose for checking my remedial math. Of course, for correcting me, you're now BANNED. Hope you enjoyed your stay while you could.