CBSSports.com Presents: JWML, Week Two

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OMG NO ONE WANTS 2 HEAR UR SUKY TEAMS. There, did the trolling for you, kids. 

Tony Hollings' Opus 281.5-256.5 NOLANDERGONNAFUKUUPSOHARD

The Opus, behind a masterful performance from Joe Flacco, edged out Nollie despite a big fat zero from T.J. Houshmandzadeh. WorstFan sent the Nollies to 0-2 and put them firmly in panic mode for their Week 3 match. Carson Palmer was their leading scorer, putting up a nice 58.5 points, but this week he just wasn't bad enough. Tough break, as Nollie scored the second most points this week.

The Fighting Mongooses 256-124 11-Tight-End-Set - A benching of Vince Young couldn't help Shake, as he was destroyed by the Mongooses (Mongeese?) in the biggest margin of the week. Dennis Dixon was sent to the bench earlier than Young, and Fred Taylor was invisible as Eli Manning watched on helplessly as the Set fell to 1-1.

Sage Rosenfels, Starting QB 247.5-Spoon feed peoples 232 - Another rough week for JimboTexan, although at least this time his team showed up. Jahvid Best's big day did him in as the Rosenfels got big weeks from Josh Freeman and Ricky Williams

Schaub's Johnson 231.5-180 Return Of Stacey Mack - Shaun Hill was only pedestrianly mediocre thanks to garbage time defense from th Eagles and Jahvid Best being good in the open field, Tim Hightower rumbled for a long touchdown run in the Cardinals only score against Atlanta, and the RSM fell to Schaub's Johnson to hit 1-1. Ahmad Bradshaw, Johnny Knox, and John Carlson came up big to overcome a middling day from Chad Henne, who barely threw the ball.

Fighting Cocks 231-197.5 Multiple Scorgasms - Duds by Javon Ringer and Chansi Stuckey opened up the door for Taco Joe, who rode ex-Oklahoma QB Sam Bradford to multiple tremors against AllenOU's scorgasms. Felix Jones was the only dud in the bunch for the Cocks, who jumped out to 2-0.

Farnsworth Parabox 185 -182.5 Fuck It I'm Going Deep - Kevin Walter laughed at killtacular for starting him and destroyed IRL Rex and Fantasy Rex's dreams of winning by putting up just 2 points. Mark Sanchez had an off week, passing for three touchdowns, but the Parabox hung on and are now 2-0 despite being one of only two teams to not notch 200+ points in a week yet. Maybe they just have too much talent.

Next week's matchups:

Schaub's Johnson (2-0) vs. Farnsworth Parabox (2-0)
The Fighting Mongooses (2-0) vs. S. Rosenfels Starting QB (1-1)
Fighting Cocks (2-0) vs. Spoon feed peoples (0-2)
Tony Hollings' Opus (1-1) vs. 11-Tight-End-Set (1-1)
Return Of Stacey Mack (1-1) vs. NOLANDERGONNAFUCKUUPSOHARD (0-2)
Multiple Scorgasms (0-2) vs. Fuck It I'm Going Deep (0-2)

And if you want to do your best to get your team to overachieve, you'll love CBSSports.com and their Fantasy Football Commissioner League! Completely customizable, terrific setup, the greatness of being under the same umbrella as Shannon Sharpe, what more could you want? Knock on the door and tell them your buddies from SB Nation sent you and you'll get 50% off! Fast real-time scoring updates, a terrific amount of keeper league options, what more could you want in a fantasy league? 

CBSSports.com is an SB Nation partner and paying sponsor of the SB Nation football communities.

This post is one of a series of sponsor-endorsed posts relating to the CBSSports.com Fantasy Football Commissioner League.

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