Hello, My Name Is tehGrindCrusher, And I Like To Do Drawrings! Your Contribution Wanted!
Football is a violent sport. But that doesn't mean that there is no art in football. Why, not so long ago, MDCelo provided us with a glimpse into his artistic abilities with this spot-on Dada-ist reimagination of ESPN talking head Stuart Scott.
If Warhol taught us anything, it's that anything can be art, from a can of tomato soup to a ham of a TV personality. With that in mind, I thought I'd scour the internets (or maybe the darkest corners of my twisted mind) to come up with some more examples of Texans or NFL-related art. Let's hit the jump and browse through the gallery, shall we?
I thought I'd start with something generally topical. Take a look at Roger Goodell here.
Notice the way Goodell's square jaw frames the upper half of the picture, drawing the reader's gaze to his blue, laser-like eyes. Notice also the way form, color and texture combine to create something slightly synergistic, with a hint of the kind of apathy, or perhaps angst, that could only describe the affectation that accompanies life in the twenty first century? This is a painting that Lucien Freud would be happy to claim.
Next, we come to something a bit more Texans-specific. Gary Kubiak, a man of action:
This work clearly suggests the bold, yet perpetually rakish affection that the artist has for his subject, redolent of Gauguin-era synthetism, with all the emotional baggage that word entails. Stark, yet somehow taken from a vantage that recapitulates the baser forms of post-Impressionism, one can relate somewhat to the affable subject, yet one is left with a wanting, a yearning, as one strives to understand the true emotional depth inherent in this most complex individual. And also to comprehend his play calling in the red zone.
Lastly, let's take a look at something a little different, a landscape scene. I like to call this Unicorn With Outside Linebacker.
Like me, I'm sure you immediately thought of Reubens when you first saw this. The concentration of the subject in the center of the image, the framing along the top and bottom to draw the eye in are all clearly reminiscent of the Flemish Baroque period. Notice also, however, sentiments that one might not find associated with thoughts of that school - the innocence of the unicorn, its golden tears failing to help in its doomed plight to escape annihilation. The urgency with which the outside linebacker hunts its prey - these images contrast markedly with the more Romantic fare one might associate with the movement and clearly hint at Guernica or some such. We are tormented, wanting to flee in fear, yet somehow aroused and drawn to the painting like a moth to a flamethrower.
Well, gentle readers, I sure hope you enjoyed this brief tour through the Texans internet art world. Would you like to join in? If this kind of thing tickles your fancy, please leave your creation in the comments.
As with any creative endeavor, the key is to put a little bit of yourself into your work. Have at it!
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Goodell kind of looks like an adult version of Butt-Head
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Oct 1, 2011 2:10 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
just like the books I "read"
I prefer to look at the pictures than read the books
I got another year out of my Steve Slaton jersey...wahoo!
by schillingb on Oct 1, 2011 4:03 PM CDT via iPhone app up reply actions
I mean words
I got another year out of my Steve Slaton jersey...wahoo!
by schillingb on Oct 1, 2011 4:04 PM CDT via iPhone app up reply actions
Exactly what I thought!
Great Demented minds and all…
Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC
Ninja Sack

This one comes from the mid-Microsoft period. You can tell by the use of autoshapes gathered and grouped to make essence of this piece. There is just a hint of Windings2 fonts for a slight touch of realism.
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
by Barryfromtexas on Oct 1, 2011 4:28 PM CDT reply actions 6 recs
I HAD to rec the artistic BOLDNESS of this as well!
nice follow up to TGC’s start.
=)
#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion
by BattleRedFan on Oct 1, 2011 10:40 PM CDT up reply actions
He asked for them
Where are the rest?!?!?
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
by Barryfromtexas on Oct 1, 2011 11:00 PM CDT up reply actions
That's what I want to know.
MOAR MS PAINT
Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
-Orwell, Politics and the English Language
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by tehGrindCrusher on Oct 2, 2011 3:54 AM CDT up reply actions
Rec'd.
Nice job.
Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
-Orwell, Politics and the English Language
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Oct 2, 2011 3:54 AM CDT up reply actions
I thought the unicorn was pissing out of its eye
It's hard bein whimpy
by WhimpyJimmy on Oct 1, 2011 4:43 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
I wish I could rec this ten times.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
I Laughed, I Cried, I Thought
Just as everyone should when faced with great art. Rec’d.
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
the unicorn one is awesome.
Thanks for the laughs TGC
Is it just me,
or does it look like Mario just gave the unicorn a very messy prostate exam?
LOL Awesome!
too funny! I love you all!
If only I could rec this more!
#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion
Unicorn Blood is,
silver just thought that should be pointed out lol.
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
"Great, you've doomed us all!" - UprootedTexan
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Romanesque Frescoe of St Wade Instructing the Slothful Bushian Army into the 7 Headed Beast

Some have equated football to religion in the empire of Texas. This newly discovered Frescoe on an old Microsoft distributor/Church tells the tale of how the shame of Houston was transformed into something….not quite so shameful.
by Austin 300 on Oct 2, 2011 10:08 AM CDT reply actions 4 recs
Awesome!
Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
-Orwell, Politics and the English Language
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Oct 2, 2011 10:07 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Wow, this thread has opened my eyes to the power of art to define our perceptions of football.
I’ll try to offer something in the style of Henri Rousseau, but it may take a while.
Thanks for the drawrings.
"Each in turn... volunteered his suggestions, his invaluable suggestions."
Twitter - xiane1
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