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There Will Be Blood: Gary Kubiak As Jack Kerouac

On the list of The Best Pickup Lines Ever, "I blog about the Houston Texans" has to rank somewhere between "The doctor said it's not contagious" and "Well, I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up ... what's that? ... how old am I? ... 34, why do you ask?"1  This life is not for everyone is my point.

All the same, there is a great deal of upside to doing this. First of all, there's the untold wealth. A close second, however, is the fact that people will occasionally send you information that makes your life easy and provides you with fodder for an interesting --- if depressing --- post. This is one of those times.

You see, tailgate legend and all-around awesome guy Lone Spot did some number crunching today and passed along the results. The topic: How has Gary Kubiak fared against good teams? The verdict: After the jump, of course.

Star-divide

So, this afternoon, I am sitting at home, drinking.  All of the sudden, my phone says "Mmm ... that is a tasty burger!"  (Much thanks to Autra for the ringtone.)  I check the text message, and it's from Lone Spot.

In the Kubiak era, the Texans have played 49 games against teams that finished the year at .500 or better.  Home record is 12-12.  Away record is 4-21.

That's right: Gary Kubiak is FOUR AND TWENTY-ONE against "good" teams on the road.  Overall, of course, he's only 16-33 (32.7% winning percentage).  That's ... what's the word I'm looking for?  Oh, yeah, terrible.  That's it.

Oh, but it gets less fun.  Against teams that finished the year 9-7 or better, Kubiak is 9-9 at home and 1-17 on the road.  ONE AND SEVENTEEN!  To quote Lone Spot again

That's right, sports fans.  One measly win against the Bengals in '09 in 19 games against winning teams.  Add losses to the Saints and Ravens [this season], and it's now 1-19.

Wow.  Just wow.  I don't have a ton to add to this, other than to say that I am (sadly) not terribly surprised; as I noted in this post, Kubiak has two road wins total against AFC South teams.  Saying that the Texans have problems playing on the road is not exactly groundbreaking stuff.  Still, I wasn't aware that it was quite this bad.  Now, if anything, Lone Spot's spreadsheet makes me worry even more about Sunday.  

In case you want to see the carnage for yourself, here's the full spreadsheet. Vaya con dios, amigos y amigas.  

/considers pouring out a little liquor

/realizes he's likely to need it on Sunday

***

1 What's the best pickup line, you ask? Clearly, it's hitting on a post-doc psychology major with the line, "My dick is like schizophrenia; it'll split you in half."

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Comments

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Fuck Gary Kunserviak.

"Hakeem couldn't kick your ass cuz you were too
close kissin his!"- Sir Charles to Kenny Smith.

by bone31crusher on Oct 21, 2011 11:55 PM CDT reply actions  

Classic

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 22, 2011 8:59 AM CDT up reply actions  

L'dMAO

and rec’d.

I wonder who drove the truck from Denver to Houston?

Alcohol is necessary so that a man can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

by Seaborn1 on Oct 22, 2011 1:02 PM CDT up reply actions  

really? this is what you stoop to MDC?

Do you not see that all seasons prior to this year, all our defenses in the Kubiak era were craptastic?

I admit I haven’t read the spreadsheet mostly b/c I don’t feel like downloading some update to read the newer versions of excel (MS office 2003 works fine for me and I don’t feel like installing Open Office either). But still — we’ve only played SIX games. You act like you haven’t been watching any of the games and have only come to read the stats. You also act like you haven’t seen anything good coming from our defense.

I actually still remember the year that we couldn’t win at Reliant if our lives depended on it and yet we were getting all the wins out of town — when was that ? 2009? must have been b/c that’s when the Texans captured my imagination.

Until this season, OUR TEXANS have never had as complete a coaching staff as we do now. If ANY coaching staff can pull a miracle out of their collective hats it’s going to be Kubiak, Dennison, and Phillips.

We simply can’t compare this season to the previous seasons. It’s honestly total bullshit to compare Frank Bush or who was the guy before him, Richard Smith? to Wade Phillips and Vance Johnson. To treat Phillips and Johnson to be equal to Bush, his coaches, and his predecessor, is absolute, complete, unmitigated, BULLSHIT.

PLEASE refrain from continuing to compare apples to oranges when it comes to coaching staff and coaching results.

Drink all you want but please don’t drag Wade Phillips and Vance Johnson into this until they’ve proved themselves to be equally shitty. In my view, Wade and his coaches are VASTLY superior to any previous Kubiak Defense coaching team.

Does anyone here SERIOUSLY think Kubiak is going to override Phillips on any calls? The only one I’d imagine he might override is Dennison shrug that’s not a huge loss.

And really, Phillips has been having to cobble together a new defense since the pre-season started — remember he got no offseason to get his guys in line. Other “superior” teams that we’ve lost to have had defenses that have been together in their positions for longer than Wade has had his defense together so cut the guy some effing slack! =P

I’d ask anyone who insists on comparing apples to oranges regarding Texans defenses to go shove off and drink a shit tonne of bleach and vodka or something.

Battle Red Fan
over and out

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 1:50 AM CDT reply actions   1 recs

I don't like being "that" guy

But umm who’s Vance Johnson???

Follow me on twitter: @Super_Stud2100

by Antho10000 on Oct 22, 2011 2:06 AM CDT up reply actions  

LOL I better go look it up but I'm pretty sure there's a Vance Johnson teaching the secondary

;-) I’ll go find out.

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 2:08 AM CDT up reply actions  

LOL ok sorry

It’s Vance Joseph. I knew it was a name that was repeated on the team which was why I got confused between Jonathan Joseph and Vance Joseph.

http://www.houstontexans.com/team/coaches.html

so yeah apparently Vance Johnson is someone I invented b/c I couldn’t be bothered to find out the real names in my haste.

sowwy.

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 2:10 AM CDT up reply actions  

AND

I thought he was coaching the secondary but I’m not sure what exactly “defensive backs” are . . . so yeah I don’t exactly pass football 101 with flying colors. . .but still !

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 2:13 AM CDT up reply actions  

LOL ok I got confused too. Thank you Splanket and BattleRedHusker for explaining

see at first I thought BRH meant

Defensive Backs = Safeties
Cornerbacks = Secondary

instead of that Defensive Backs = [ Safeties and Cornerbacks ] = Secondary

Now I see what splanket and BattleRedHusker meant. Thanks!

So I was actually close =D

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 4:07 PM CDT up reply actions  

you know

that guy who coaches secondary on the team that Andre Jackson plays for

by Toolshed1 on Oct 22, 2011 2:13 AM CDT up reply actions  

and a reply fail from me ;-)

=P

at least I don’t announce football games — that would probably be tragic.

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 2:17 AM CDT up reply actions  

actually an announcer did say Andre Jackson on air, that's where I got it from

Mike Goldberg (UFC commentator, he sucks at that too though) was doing a preseason game of Houston vs Arizona on the Cards broadcast and he called AJ “Andre Jackson”.

by Toolshed1 on Oct 22, 2011 2:31 AM CDT up reply actions  

oh wow!

I don’t THINK I’d fall to that level of incompetence but ;-) oh well . At least I admit when I can’t tell shit from shinola.

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 2:35 AM CDT up reply actions  

maybe I should apply to be a UFC commentator ;-)

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 2:37 AM CDT up reply actions  

Oddly

Vance Johnson and Kubiak have a connection. Both played for the Broncos in the late 80’s and went to numerous Super Bowls. Losing of course. I remember Vance had a sweet jerri curl with a braided duck tail. He and Ricky Nattiel had some cute nickname as a WR group, but I can’t remember…….stupid football card obsession when I was a kid haunts me to this day.

by JMFC on Oct 22, 2011 7:54 AM CDT up reply actions  

so there's a real Vance Johnson that used to play for the Broncos?

or are you meaning Vance Joseph?

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 4:08 PM CDT up reply actions  

Three Amigos!

Vance Johnson, Ricky Nattiel, and Mark Jackson.

by NewsToTom on Oct 22, 2011 8:10 PM CDT up reply actions   1 recs

Loved those Broncos teams!

It takes a special team to get blown out of 3 Super Bowls.

XOXO
Jim Kelly

Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC

by Lone Spot on Oct 22, 2011 9:45 PM CDT up reply actions  

What?

I thought Mark Jackson was the fat guy who used to run the point for the Knicks and is now on the TNA NBA telecast that repeatedly and annoyingly says “HAND DOWN, MAN DOWN” and “MOMMA, THERE GOES THAT MAN!”

It’s like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon up in here.

by JMFC on Oct 23, 2011 12:10 AM CDT up reply actions  

Check that!

I forgot, he know coaches the GState Warriors.

by JMFC on Oct 23, 2011 12:11 AM CDT up reply actions  

"Tonne?"

Are you British too?

Because that would be awesome.

Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

-Orwell, Politics and the English Language

www.battleredblog.com

by tehGrindCrusher on Oct 22, 2011 5:07 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

haha. No, sorry, just a weird Houstonian with a bit of British and Welsh ancestry

For some reason when I was posting, my brain was on a British spelling kick. I had initially posted “superiour” instead of superior (and while I cleaned that up, I missed the tonne). I’ve always felt that GREY is the correct spelling of the “colour” even though color is how I normally spell that word.

And when I looked up grey vs gray on
http://www.greyorgray.com/

I saw that I gravitate to “travelled” instead of traveled. I probably read one too many British authors somewhere.

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 4:24 PM CDT up reply actions  

Yes, I typically use the correct spelling of colour, etc.

I just catch it when posting in some places.

Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.

by Jonathan Fosburgh on Oct 22, 2011 9:03 PM CDT up reply actions  

I get what you're saying.

But to assume that it’s true requires faith in Kubes.

And I puked out the last drops of my faith after the Jets game last year.

Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

-Orwell, Politics and the English Language

www.battleredblog.com

by tehGrindCrusher on Oct 22, 2011 5:11 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

Off-topic

I know your sig says Orwell, but as I read it, I thought of and missed George Carlin. Odd.

by JMFC on Oct 22, 2011 7:56 AM CDT up reply actions  

I think if Carlin had written this

It would have had a few more cuss words in it.

Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

-Orwell, Politics and the English Language

www.battleredblog.com

by tehGrindCrusher on Oct 22, 2011 8:07 AM CDT up reply actions  

You can't just turn a blind-eye

To the fact that we are 6 years into Kubiak’s regime and his road record against. 500 or better opponents is so abysmal. I don’t think MDC using Kubiak’s record is stooping to anything, he’s reciting Kubiak’s record. The fact that its taken 5 years of terrible defense to get someone of Wade’s pedigree is sad and doesn’t absolve Kubiak of the previous years of average to below average football.
I want Kubiak to succeed (I’m even an Aggie) but this isn’t his year zero. You can’t disregard ‘06-’10 because Kubiak’s chosen DC sucked, he’s the one who picked them. I pray we make the playoffs, Kubiak turns the coaching corner and he becomes our Belichick. Am I optimistic that will happen? Honestly no, but I will keep cheering nonetheless and no I won’t shove off and drink a “sh*t tonne of bleach” because you are offended by some statistics.

Rob Schneider was an animal. Then he was a woman. And now Rob Schneider is... a stapler! And he's about to find out that being a stapler is harder than it looks. Rob Schneider is… "The Stapler". Rated PG-13.

by benbiggles on Oct 22, 2011 9:58 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions   1 recs

This.
The fact that its taken 5 years of terrible defense to get someone of Wade’s pedigree is sad and doesn’t absolve Kubiak of the previous years of average to below average football.

The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter

by MDC on Oct 22, 2011 10:07 AM CDT up reply actions  

Like "unsinkability"

was not the Titanic’s strong suit.

The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter

by MDC on Oct 22, 2011 1:30 PM CDT up reply actions  

"average to below average"

Kindness will get you everywhere

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 22, 2011 1:58 PM CDT up reply actions  

ok so is BenBiggles point, "the point" that I'm missing?

because yeah, I’m readily admitting that I’m missing the point now that you’ve said pointed that out.

Because I DO understand the quotation you cited above.

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 4:35 PM CDT up reply actions  

;-) good points

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 4:24 PM CDT up reply actions  

Uh

I think you missed the point.

Also, the defense in weeks 5 through 17 in 2009 was not shitty.

But mainly you missed the point.

The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter

by MDC on Oct 22, 2011 10:07 AM CDT up reply actions   1 recs

Also

considering the Texans have lost both of their road games to teams likely to finish above .500 in 2011 suggests that this is hardly an apples-to-oranges comparison.

The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter

by MDC on Oct 22, 2011 10:11 AM CDT up reply actions  

yep the D played well to finish off the 09 year

That’s what was so disappointing about the 2010 D. We expected them to pick up were they left off….. and that didn’t happen

Jules=Now I want you to go in that bag and find my wallet
Ringo=which one is it
Jules=the one that says bad mother fucker!

by jtr bmf 281 on Oct 22, 2011 2:48 PM CDT up reply actions  

very true!

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 4:26 PM CDT up reply actions  

right?

that was the year when fans like me were so grateful that Pollard had turned our defense around with his tough attitude.

=) I still love the guy for blocking that field goal in Washington DC.

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 4:29 PM CDT up reply actions  

Re: Past vs. Current DCs

The point is that Kubes is still the “man in charge”, and so far this season the trend continues (see: Saints, Ravens). I too hope they can buck this trend, but I’m starting to feel like Kubes might not be capable. Just my opinion, and it’s taken 6 years to finally allow myself to see the truth.

Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC

by Lone Spot on Oct 22, 2011 9:54 PM CDT up reply actions  

yeah it took me a bit of thinking about BenBiggles and MDC's comments

I see now that my tirade was grossly undervaluing the point that over the course of 6 years — “it’s on Kubiak”. He’s ultimately the man making the decisions. He’s ultimately responsible for all the decisions made underneath him. In THAT light, I think I get y’all’s point.

I still think that Wade Phillips is just LEAGUES above any other DC we’ve ever had though. He’s taken most of the same pieces of the puzzle from last year and has had our defense smiling alot more often than they’d been before.

I also wonder if Kubiak is delegating more than he did before or just delegating to more talented people now? ;-)

Allen to play more

After last Sunday’s 29-14 loss at Baltimore, coach Gary Kubiak said he thought cornerback Jason Allen should have played more. Kubiak said Thursday that Allen will get more playing time behind Kareem Jackson on Sunday.

“I think he’ll play more,” Kubiak said. "I do think Kareem played very well. They’re going to both play, and how it’s going to pan out numbers-wise, we’ll wait and see.

“I’ll give (defensive backs coach) Vance (Joseph) the rein to see how he feels from that standpoint.”

my emphasis warning this link takes you to the Comicle but it is the source for the quotation above

So maybe Kubes is growing in skill at being the head coach. As a Longhorn fan I could say “eh he’s an Aggie, he’s expected to be slow” ;-) but I won’t =D . I think he’s learning well and will continue to grow into a VERY GOOD head coach.

Has Kubiak been learning at what we might consider a glacial pace? Maybe — but I also think it’s because he’s got such a good heart. I so love that he has faith in people and he gives them chances. The beauty of this year is that now we’ve got Kubiak and the front office taking QUICK decisive action to get better talent.

Example: Jacoby stuffs up one game and we go out and get D. Mason.
Message to Jacoby: get it right or there will be consequences
Desired result: Jacoby is held accountable for his performance FINALLY

Message to D. Mason: get it right and we’ll get passes thrown to you and get you playing time

Basically, it looks like he’s setting up all sorts of competitions where various players need to excell to get on the field. I LIKE that. It feels like that kind of accountability was missing in some of the previous years. (but if I’m wrong – I plead n00bish ignorance of the game ;-) which I’m still learning about from y’all every day).

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 23, 2011 2:14 AM CDT up reply actions  

It's called desperation

Kubiak’s head is on the chopping block and the executioner is ready to swing. If he loses today there may be no stopping it.

I'm a man!! I'm forty!!

by Hydroshock on Oct 23, 2011 11:43 AM CDT up reply actions  

You're behind the curve

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 23, 2011 8:24 AM CDT up reply actions  

I know

Blind fandom is a bitch.

Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC

by Lone Spot on Oct 23, 2011 8:50 AM CDT up reply actions  

On gameday, we're all fans, one big family....

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 23, 2011 9:40 AM CDT up reply actions  

Please...

Wipe off your kool-aid mustache before sitting down at the dinner table with the adults.

Yes...as a matter of fact, that IS a pic of Steve McNair & Sahel Kazemi parasailing. Suck it, Titans fans.

by -Jay on Oct 23, 2011 9:07 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions   1 recs

mmmmm! the Kool-Aid tastes good this week ;-)

<3

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 23, 2011 5:37 PM CDT up reply actions  

;-)

=P

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 2:14 AM CDT reply actions  

Stupid Facts

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 22, 2011 9:01 AM CDT reply actions  

Very astute, MDC

You recognized that I was only starting a sentence with that remark. Thank you for finishing the thought.

I see this game this Sunday as the Texans traveling down the road, as I have seen many compare it, and coming to a Y in the road. One way takes them to a place they don’t want to be, a place where they have been before. I think it goes to some outhouse hidden in the hills of Tennessee. The other way takes them to a place they have never known, a perceived land that is only a dream to them. A plateau that they climb up and where they sit and look down on the rest of the division.

Stat sheets and historical facts can’t explain it. Let’s play the game.

And, if they lose, Kubiak and Schaub better take cover.

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 22, 2011 10:44 AM CDT up reply actions   1 recs

remarkably

well written. kudos.

And yet still, I believe, understated. This game is paramount.

my Z key can't take another free agent flurry

by texanphil on Oct 22, 2011 2:45 PM CDT up reply actions  

=)

While I liked the whole post,
I liked this part the best.

Stat sheets and historical facts can’t explain it. Let’s play the game.

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 4:38 PM CDT up reply actions  

lol for the "s" factor

I am now drinking the koolaid. Texans are making their turn for the best. Screw pessimism!

by Barryfromtexas on Oct 22, 2011 9:39 AM CDT up reply actions  

Um, wot?

I’d laugh and call this sarcasm…but it comes from bp.

Canal Street Chronicles-A place of great Saints news and information. Oh and the stuff I write!
Bring back Aaron Brooks! He's the only one who can save us from the evil that is Drew Brees!!

by Jon Banks on Oct 22, 2011 9:59 AM CDT up reply actions  

Indeed, If ever there was an ignore option needed,,,

"Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway" - Ancient Chinese Proverb

by Hugh Jarce on Oct 22, 2011 12:42 PM CDT up reply actions  

Oh.. boo-hoo

someone has a different opinion from you… ignore… ignore…

It's Our Time.... or something...

by bennprince on Oct 22, 2011 3:30 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

Wade Phillips

is blocking for Arian Foster, I know he is a big guy but he is too old to play in the NFL…

"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans

by Taco Joe on Oct 22, 2011 1:00 PM CDT up reply actions  

True

Wade Smith was actually referred to as Wade Phillips by some random “sports journalist” this past offseason. Certainly not as bad as Joel Myers and Greg Gumball’s pronunciation of Owen Daniel. And I would certainly rather be referred to as the Houston Texas v. Oilers or Titans or however else the announcers would refer to our little expansion team.

It's Our Time.... or something...

by bennprince on Oct 22, 2011 3:34 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

Actually, Anthony Smith does play for the Titans

And if he’s involved in the game in a serious way, attacking him would be a good way for the Texans to have success on offense.

by NewsToTom on Oct 22, 2011 8:12 PM CDT up reply actions  

Double Green Thumb for "Destiny's Team"

These won/loss stats won’t mean shit come Sunday.

Looking forward is Right! Living in the past is for losers, right? I mean you would not put up with Cowboy fan talking about winning Super Bowls 15 years ago would ya?

by Hangbok on Oct 22, 2011 8:49 PM CDT up reply actions  

If they go to the playoffs and start winning playoff games, I might allow myself to dream about nicknames like that

Until then, they’re just my Texans Bums.

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 23, 2011 8:27 AM CDT up reply actions  

Best pickup line at the Texans-BESFs game this Sunday

Excuse me, did you just smile? Because, I think the BESFs might be going for a field goal.

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 22, 2011 11:17 AM CDT reply actions  

lol, don't talk about wat will happen

at your stadium at the end of the season.

Best sig ever, reason 1, reason 2

by Ice0ne (CAJ) on Oct 22, 2011 10:05 PM CDT up reply actions  

Hold on

Let me take my teeth out. I know you likes it better that way.

Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

-Orwell, Politics and the English Language

www.battleredblog.com

by tehGrindCrusher on Oct 23, 2011 8:33 AM CDT up reply actions  

The point of the research

For me, it wasn’t mainly to rehash the past, but use it as a metric to help determine not only our odds this weekend but also help foreshadow the fait of each team’s season. This history points out that if the Texans win, then more likely than not the BESFs will have a subpar season because Kubiak doesn’t beat good teams on the road. If not, then I’m restocking the bleach and bourbon.

Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC

by Lone Spot on Oct 22, 2011 11:49 AM CDT via mobile reply actions  

Welp... as it pertains to this week

luckily we are not facing any sort of “Good” team while on the road, nor a team that will be 9-7 or better.

by WhiskeyR on Oct 22, 2011 1:18 PM CDT reply actions  

very true

this post could be completely accurate and a predictor to future events, and we could still win tomorrow. Hopefully soundly.

my Z key can't take another free agent flurry

by texanphil on Oct 22, 2011 2:49 PM CDT up reply actions  

I'd be curious to see (but am too lazy to research)

how the Texans have fared on the road against teams that were >.500 as of kickoff, regardless of their final season record?

The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter

by MDC on Oct 22, 2011 2:59 PM CDT up reply actions  

One thing about that

is if we beat an otherwise 9-7 team, we bring them to 8-8 and still didn’t beat a team with a “winning record”. Thats why I don’t take too much from those sorts of things, we are part of whatever record an opponent has.

by WhiskeyR on Oct 22, 2011 3:09 PM CDT up reply actions  

Right

though the >/= to .500 (at season’s end) stat would account for that.

The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter

by MDC on Oct 22, 2011 3:50 PM CDT up reply actions  

Still, I wasn’t aware that it was quite this bad.

Where have you been? I dwelled on this most of the offseason when it was announced they would be keeping Kubes.

I’m hoping for a win tomorrow, and optomistically, the D continues to improve and the O picks up and then peaks late season into the PO’s.

Then again, to me, optomism is for losers. You can tout stats that say top 5 Offense all you want but until they can play for more then 2 qtrs a game and not get shutdown in games against good D’s then I will consider them great. The best Offenses in the NFL do not get shutdown very often. They might get beat but not shutdown like we did against the Giants and Cowboys last year or Jets in ’09.

Alcohol is necessary so that a man can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

by Seaborn1 on Oct 22, 2011 1:24 PM CDT reply actions  

Then again, to me, optomism is for losers.

I bet the Packers are feeling pretty optimistic.

by WhiskeyR on Oct 22, 2011 1:35 PM CDT up reply actions  

Maybe....

They probably weren’t very optomistic last year when they were losing starters left and right.
They just had players step up and coaches make adjustments and took it one game at a time till they won the SB.

Now, they are just killing it. Soon as they start feeling good about it they’ll drop one or two.

Alcohol is necessary so that a man can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

by Seaborn1 on Oct 22, 2011 2:00 PM CDT up reply actions  

I just have a hard time believing that pessimists actually WIN games

I think pessimists draw bad outcomes into their reality. So in a world where there are only optimists and pessimists, optimists should be the ones winning.

If we somehow allow for some kind of “attitude neutral” group that are not optimists nor are they pessimists then maybe THAT group would get the wins. Pessimists beat themselves before the race even starts — that’s no way to win.

I just can’t agree with the assertion that optimism is for losers. But you also qualified that that assertion is simply true for you. To me, it just seems an unfortunate perspective to hold.

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 22, 2011 4:49 PM CDT up reply actions  

I rate optimism just above blind optimism.

Far above optimism is confidence.Confident is what winners are. Even when things are going tough or not their way they remain confident that they will perform and turn the tide there way.
Optimists, when faced with uncertainty HOPE to stay in the fight unti they catch a break.

The Texans, after a good pre-season and even after the loss at N.O. seemed confident and looked like they could go deep in the PO’s. If they lose tomorrow I think what ever confidence they may have could be damaged and will be a turning point in the season no matter how easy our schedule turns out.

The problem I have with the Offense and Kubiak is they lack true leaders on there squad. There is seldom anyone who steps forward to fire the team up in crunch time unless they make a good play. Waiting to make a good play is not the time to instill confidence in your team to perform.
Since we lack players on the offense to do this regularly, it is up to the coaches to fire up their players. We only seen Kubiak do this once against Pitt this year and it worked.

When we have players continually miss assignments on plays that cause drives to stall they need to be kicked in the ass to get there focus back in the game for the entire series and make the opponent stop them and not stop themselves.

Alcohol is necessary so that a man can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

by Seaborn1 on Oct 22, 2011 6:00 PM CDT up reply actions  

yup I agree

 Sad but true.

Jules=Now I want you to go in that bag and find my wallet
Ringo=which one is it
Jules=the one that says bad mother fucker!

by jtr bmf 281 on Oct 22, 2011 9:45 PM CDT up reply actions  

ok fair enough

I had hoped there was a good explanation behind the premise

optimism is for losers

 so I’m glad I asked. Thanks for explaining.

#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion

by BattleRedFan on Oct 23, 2011 2:20 AM CDT up reply actions  

Usually on Sunday's we're forced to see things like the Q-tip replayed constantly

We’ll see that when we play the Jags for sure.

One nice thing this week, even though ‘Dre is not playing, is that we’ll see footage of him kicking Innegan’s ass multiple times.

That’s a nice change.

by WhiskeyR on Oct 22, 2011 3:11 PM CDT reply actions  

Agreed?

But according to Paul Kurkasky or whatever (ESPN AFC South blogger and resident Tits fan) it was a “slugfest”. And apparently most of the Tits fans couldn’t see past their meth pipes (i assume that’s how meth is consumed) and are convinced that Innegan got the better of Andre.

It's Our Time.... or something...

by bennprince on Oct 22, 2011 3:42 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

Damn straight

And we’ll have a hand in the BESFs going <= 7-9, thus continuing the trend. The only away test we would then have left on the schedule is @ Tampa.

Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC

by Lone Spot on Oct 22, 2011 9:48 PM CDT up reply actions  

Did they catch a bad case of the 7-9s from the bills?

I like it

Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride

by nolander on Oct 23, 2011 1:43 AM CDT up reply actions  

Goo'd that...

"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana

by DilloTex on Oct 22, 2011 11:57 PM CDT up reply actions  

This game is dedicated to the memory of VY....

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 23, 2011 8:29 AM CDT reply actions   2 recs

Best comment EVAR

Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC

by Lone Spot on Oct 23, 2011 8:51 AM CDT up reply actions  

minor issue with the stats:

the 1-17 number includes only teams that finished 9-7 or better, meaning they went 8-7 against everyone else, and beat the Texans. Teams that finished 8-8, but lost to the Texans had exactly the same record outside of the Texans game (8-7), and should be counted since they are the same quality of opponent by this measurement. This puts Kubes at a still-not-stellar 4-17. 4-17, of course, is exactly the record I want from a head coach.

The same logic actually applies to the 8-8 record — losses to 8-8 teams should be counted out since the team in question went 7-8 against everyone else. If the Texans beat a team that went 7-8 against everyone else, their final record would be 7-9 including the loss to the Texans. Don’t know how that stat would come out, but it’s fair at least.

I’m not defending Kubes’ record by the way

by JBal on Oct 23, 2011 9:50 AM CDT reply actions  

Good points

But it still doesn’t fill me with confidence. Also, the ’09 Bengals to me are a little suspect. Still not sure how that team won ten games and went 6-0 in a division with the Steelers and Ravens only to fold up shop at the end of the season and keep us out of the playoffs.
/bitterness

Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC

by Lone Spot on Oct 23, 2011 9:58 AM CDT up reply actions  

These stats prove the Titans will suck this year.

Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC

by Lone Spot on Oct 23, 2011 3:40 PM CDT reply actions  

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