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Expanding Your Vocabulary with MDC

"I really do have a pusillanimous running style."

Perhaps it is a consequence of being a blogger while also having a "real" job as a writer (of sorts), but I am a complete logophile.  I love words.  I might even go so far as to call myself a logomaniac (which is not to be confused with a Lego Maniac).  I am also a bit of a dork, so I often find myself applying obscure words to Texans-related situations.

Well, rather than just suffer alone in my own weirdness, I figured it was time to force all of you to join me in an exercise in grandiloquence that is both educational and completely devoid of any real-world benefit.  YOU'RE WELCOME.

Unless you suffer from catapedaphobia (generally, a fear of jumping), won't you join me on the other side?

Star-divide

doryphore (DOR-ee-phor) — one who draws attention to the minor errors made by others, esp. in a pestering manner. Matt Hasselbeck acted like a doryphore with his constant whining and ridiculous gesticulating after every poor play.

epicaricacy (EP-i-kar-ik-i-see) — taking pleasure in other's misfortune; Schadenfreude. I felt a strong sense of epicaricacy listening to the Titans fans boo Chris Johnson.

foofaraw (FOO-fah-ro) — unnecessary things added for ornamentation; excessive or flashy ornamentation; frills. Chris Johnson's gold teeth are an expensive foofaraw.

ineluctable (in-i-LUK-tah-ble) — unable to be resisted or avoided; inevitable. By the time Brice McCain returned an interception for a touchdown, a Texans' win was ineluctable.

lumpenproletariat (lum-pen-proh-li-TAR-ee-it) — the lowest, most degraded stratum of the proletariat; the underclass of a human population. The typical crowd at LP Field is composed of Bud Adams' hell-spawn and the lumpenproletariat of the mid-south.

mendacity (men-DAS-i-tee) — a lie; falsehood. It is utter mendacity to suggest that Cortland Finnegan is a shutdown corner.

merkin (MUR-kin) — a pubic wig for women. There is no mendacity in suggesting that Cortland Finnegan's hair looks like a $3 merkin.

octogenarian (ok-tah-jah-NAR-ee-an) — a person between 80 and 90 years of age. Bud Adams is an octogenarian born of Satan's ass.

pulchritudinous (pul-kri-TOOD-en-es) — having great physical beauty or appeal. Arian Foster has a pulchritudinous running style.

thygatrilagnia (thy-GA-truh-LAG-nee-uh) — an incestuous desire for one's daughter. Sadness over the Titans' loss was interrupted by a strong sense of thygatrilagnia.

Texans vs Titans coverage

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Haha! Loesche is victorious

Now, can anyone translate that sentence in plain English?

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 26, 2011 8:55 AM CDT up reply actions  

I'll be in Jacksonville over the Xmas weekend to pay up

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 26, 2011 8:59 AM CDT up reply actions  

Fantastic.

The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter

by MDC on Oct 26, 2011 8:57 AM CDT up reply actions  

well done.

Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang

by F-BombTheJets on Oct 26, 2011 9:18 AM CDT up reply actions  

well done.

Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang

by F-BombTheJets on Oct 26, 2011 9:18 AM CDT up reply actions  

It is ineluctable that I say you AllenOU'd

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg

by Barryfromtexas on Oct 26, 2011 9:21 AM CDT up reply actions  

um,thanks???

Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang

by F-BombTheJets on Oct 26, 2011 9:22 AM CDT up reply actions  

uhhh, why isnt this pick got reen yet?

Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang

by F-BombTheJets on Oct 26, 2011 9:14 AM CDT up reply actions  

loesches' sentence is green. not the pik though. i could really careless tho.jus an observation

Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang

by F-BombTheJets on Oct 26, 2011 9:21 AM CDT up reply actions  

It's green on my screen

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 26, 2011 9:26 AM CDT up reply actions  

How do I express my cachinnation?

Hahahahahahahahahaha-gaw!

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 26, 2011 7:12 AM CDT reply actions  

Double rec.

Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.

by Jonathan Fosburgh on Oct 26, 2011 9:09 AM CDT up reply actions  

Very nice!

Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid

by txknight on Oct 26, 2011 8:20 PM CDT up reply actions  

5 words

The doryphore octogenarian, stated mendacity regarding the thygatrilagnia of Miley Cyrus and Bacon’s pulchritudinous.

That is very tough

1 Defensive Score is left in the Karma Bag
Hmm Hmm Good, Wade Aid hits the spot.
"Wade aid has lean in it, just saying"

by WreckNTexan on Oct 26, 2011 7:41 AM CDT reply actions  

stupid writers....

is Jon Jos. injured or did a stupid writer say JJ and mean daniel manning

All I want to do is FAAAARRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMM!!!....and COok.

by Mellowcheese on Oct 26, 2011 8:03 AM CDT reply actions  

Not To Get To Far Off The Subject of Vag's, Merkins & Bacon...

But can somebody answer how J-Ville Got 3 Prime Time Games This Year? What formula does the NFL use to determine who gets Prime Time Games… And looking at the primetime schedule it is very hit and miss, heck even Miami has 2 prime time games, who is the brain child behind scheduling these games. very odd that the NFL would miss the boat on this

by Hangbok on Oct 26, 2011 8:36 AM CDT reply actions  

Goodell, of course

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 26, 2011 9:03 AM CDT up reply actions  

It is to tease the LA folks about their new fvranchise

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg

by Barryfromtexas on Oct 26, 2011 9:19 AM CDT up reply actions   1 recs

This seems right.

Especially the weight given to WFGW.

The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter

by MDC on Oct 26, 2011 9:56 AM CDT up reply actions  

I'm not quite the "word" dork

but I did put thought into making sure I had the proper weighting compared to the probable values of the other numbers.

by Vega on Oct 26, 2011 10:20 AM CDT up reply actions  

AND you slept at a Holiday Inn Express last night

Math is cool.

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

by PygmyStone on Oct 26, 2011 1:47 PM CDT up reply actions  

Easy

Jacksonville needs help selling out games. Prime-time games should, in theory, assist.

For the record, Jacksonville had a 2-day extension to sell out the MNF game before it was blacked out.

"Lord, beer me strength."

by TexansDC on Oct 26, 2011 10:49 AM CDT up reply actions  

As A Fellow Word Dork

I loved this post.

Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...

by Tim on Oct 26, 2011 9:18 AM CDT reply actions  

You are a true sesquipedalian

although, I must say, you don’t talk like one….

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 26, 2011 9:29 AM CDT up reply actions  

pulchritudinous

is my favorite logos from this selection of logocentric words. I like it because it comes from the Latin word pulcher, pulchra, pulchrum. That is a nice apologia for learning the Latin language, might I add.

by Triple347 on Oct 26, 2011 9:29 AM CDT reply actions  

pulchritudine makes

Makes an appearance in an oft overlooked song from Carmina Burana, and it is actually one of the best pieces.

Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.

by Jonathan Fosburgh on Oct 26, 2011 9:39 AM CDT up reply actions  

Also

in this track in the form pulchra.

Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.

by Jonathan Fosburgh on Oct 26, 2011 10:02 AM CDT up reply actions  

This post.

Makes me happy to be a teacher. I’m deciding if there is an English teacher I can share it with.

by cgardner2006 on Oct 26, 2011 10:10 AM CDT reply actions  

Seriously Merkin

I am totally using this from now till infinity!

"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans

by Taco Joe on Oct 26, 2011 10:11 AM CDT reply actions   1 recs

Your merkin smile gives you away....

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 26, 2011 10:15 AM CDT up reply actions  

Also acceptable,

Wookie bush toupe.

Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC

by Lone Spot on Oct 26, 2011 1:49 PM CDT up reply actions  

I was told there'd be no math.

Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.

-Catch 22-

by Jordann on Oct 26, 2011 10:36 AM CDT reply actions  

Your obstinance is obsequious.

A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot

by bigfatdrunk on Oct 26, 2011 11:07 AM CDT up reply actions  

I am chortling at this archetype post...

you guys are brainiacs…Good times good times (gtgt)!!!

2011 Season is the Reason!!!

by TexanSam on Oct 26, 2011 10:38 AM CDT reply actions  

Titans fans were so pertinacious when it came to Sunday's game

They’re a cantankerous bunch those BE-SF’s. But I got great joy when I descried Tit fans abjuring their teams like that. Twas a glorious day.

Follow me on twitter: @Super_Stud2100

by Antho10000 on Oct 26, 2011 11:36 AM CDT reply actions  

You left out "bacon"

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 26, 2011 11:56 AM CDT up reply actions  

The panic is truly epic at MCM this week.

Especially about CJ. I hope Brian Cushing finds his way there to see the aftermath of making Chris Johnson his own personal little bitch.

I’ve never seen a fanbase go from thinking they’re going to win the division to jumping off cliffs so fast.

by WhiskeyR on Oct 26, 2011 12:10 PM CDT reply actions  

Unpossible, I say.

Not that I’ll go to MCM and see, but the tantos came out quickly and en masse here.

A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot

by bigfatdrunk on Oct 26, 2011 12:29 PM CDT up reply actions  

tantos are good with queso

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 26, 2011 2:43 PM CDT up reply actions  

Yeh, Cushing had to have been spying CJ because he was in on him on nearly every play

Cush was even covering him in the flat on passes and did pretty good at it. I have to give Cush all kinds of credit, but I have to give the coaches a lot of credit for likely being the guys that implemented that plan, and trusting Cush to carry it out.

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Oct 26, 2011 12:14 PM CDT up reply actions  

I am now going to use each of these new words in a sentence...

Those that behave like doryphore (holy shit, even Google Chrome doesn’t know this word…unless you misspelled it) are total argumentative pieces of Titan shit.

To have a feeling of epicaricacy (again…Google Chrome is stupid I think) is to admit that your soul is dead and compassion is dead within your soul. Except when you’re a Texans fan enjoying the failures of the bad guys.

Ooooh, I like this word…foofaraw…foofaraw..FOOFARAW woo hoo wtf..I’m not drunk, I swear.

Punching a Titans fan in the face is ineluctable (yay! Google chrome finally understands one of them!) if I happen to meet one of them in the stands of a Texans game.

lumpenproletariat…fuck, even our language is judgmental. I can only know that for certain about a person if I have met and spoken with them. IF I understand what drives them, then I can properly judge them. This word is very arrogant. I hate you lumpenproletariat! Bitch!

HA…the mendacity of Titans fans even suggesting that their team is worthy of breathing in the sour aroma from one of the Texans bench warmers jock straps is heresy. Pretty sure I used the word wrong but I wanted to squeeze in jock-sniffers at some point and I think this was my best chance.

I think Twitchy is going to need to wear a merkin if he walks in public in Nashville for a while or he may just get his head bashed in by some very angry Titans fans.

Twitchy looked like a spry octogenarian when he was running the ball this Sunday. I do not mean to offend any octogenarian that might be reading this post with the comparison, I’m sure you could do better!

For those of you that were wondering, yes, I am very pulchritudinous to behold. Wtf is wrong with “handsome” or "attractive? why the fuck do snobs have to make words like that? It’s like speaking another language…

If my daughters happen to be the Texans cheer leaders, then I am guilty of thygatrilagnia because I’d bone every one of them.

by Peckerwood on Oct 26, 2011 12:44 PM CDT reply actions  

This was pretty awesome:

Chris Johnson is becoming Mike Munchak’s Vince Young

Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.

by Jonathan Fosburgh on Oct 26, 2011 1:08 PM CDT up reply actions  

Hooray, Vega!

A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot

by bigfatdrunk on Oct 26, 2011 1:44 PM CDT up reply actions  

Vega: That's prodigious!

Especially considering that Vega used “pooping themselves” in the breakdown. Laughed out loud when I first read it – almost woke the wife.

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

by PygmyStone on Oct 26, 2011 1:57 PM CDT up reply actions  

Great day for Vega

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg

by Barryfromtexas on Oct 26, 2011 3:29 PM CDT up reply actions  

I have noticed Paul K

uses BRB more than any other blog on his RTC

"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans

by Taco Joe on Oct 26, 2011 3:39 PM CDT up reply actions  

Pulchritudinous writing and reporting...

"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." -- Benjamin Disraeli

"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers." -- Homer Simpson

"There is no rehab for stupid." -- Chris Rock

Never try to baptize a cat.

by texanslady on Oct 26, 2011 5:22 PM CDT up reply actions  

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