Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Texans-Buccaneers

1) JJ Watt with 1 sack, forced fumble
2) Foster with 300 all purpose yards
3) Matt Shaub with 3 td passes and 1 rushing td

Wanna believe we will win this game as we should. But that little voice on my head after 10 years of texans let downs is telling me they are gonna blow it. But ill try to stay positive.

Texans 31
Bucs 21

34-3 utter domination by the defense.

38-17 Bitches

1. Our rushing attack is going to eclipse 200 yards again, especially since Tampa’s DLine is depleted. They also don’t have the greatest linebackers, but rookie ILB Mason Foster looks like a steal for them. Tate will finish with 109 yards, while Foster goes for 104. Each will have one TD on the ground.

2. Brooks Reed is going to continue his rampage. Tampa Bay has a good LT, but their RT is a bit shaky. Reed lines up as LE on 3rd down situations. Because of this mismatch, Reed will get 2 sacks. Antonio Smith and Brian Cushing will each get a sack. The Bucs have good players on the OLine, but like the Browns, one or two of their starters aren’t that good.

3. Schaub is going to have a good day because of our run game. The play action is going to be there all day, so Schaub will hit Jakespeare for a 56 yard TD. Schaub will finish the game with 234 yards and 1 TD.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: Kareem Jackson’s going to allow 2 TDs in the redzone: one on a fade route, and the other on a slant route.

Final Score: Texans win, 30-17

1. Texans offense gets 375+ total yards
2. Texans D allows – 250 yards
3. Texans D Creates 2 Turnovers, 3 or more sacks
4. Barian Fostate continues eating opposing defenses 250 total yards for this player.
5. Stadium losses intrest in the curb stomp by the 4th quarter
6. Texans 27- 13

/praying very hard

Browns 23 – Texans 21

I think the Browns win on a last second field goal. we go into the bye at 6-4 with 6 games to go.

Texans 28, Bucs 9

Foster: 200+ all purpose yards, 1TD
Tate: 100+ all purpose yards, 2TD
Schaub: 270+ passing yards, no int, 1 sack
More than 40 minutes clock control

Defense: allow less than 170 total yards, only three 1st downs, 7 sacks, 2 ints
Joseph: 1 interception returned for TD
Quinn: 1 interception
Cushing: 12 tackles, 2 sacks, 1 bloody face
Watt: 2 sacks
Reed: 3 sacks
K-Jax: 2 deep ball defenses (one nearly picked)

Pancakes: has oxygen administered before 4th quarter from being over excited

BRB: picks up over 1,000 new members!

to be 32-6 Texans

1. Earl Mitchell scores a TD
2. Shaun Cody Scores with a Safety
3. Casey Gets another TD

…..Tampa is funny, they can shut down the run if they want or shut down an air game….but they can’t shut down both…that is their weekness.

     Your team will win this week but it is going to be a tough first half. They go into San Francisco and get run all over because they are agressive in going after Alex, still unproven at the time. Big time loss.

     They go to the Saints, knowing Drew is the offense, and stop the pass. Big time win. Now it is time to figure out us (by us I mean ‘Your Team’ as I am actually a Bronco fan) and ‘us’ is hard to figure out because ‘us’ have the total package. ………………………………..

     Its funny, I was about to post something on this same subject (about how your team will win) when I saw this post and decided to take the start of my post and turn it into a comment on this post.

I’ll go back to working on my post…….

Foster rushes for 120 yards, Tate for 85, with a rushing TD for each. Foster chips in 60 recieving yards, with another TD.

Reed will sack Freeman twice. Cushing and Barwin each contribute a sack as well.

Schaub throws for 200 yards, and finds Owen Daniels for a touchdown.

The Bucks score 10 of their points in the 4th quarter.

Close game until the 4th. Freeman will throw 3 ints. Foster scores twice, Tate once. Schaub will throw a pick but it will only lead to a FG. Tampa good pass protection doesn’t show as the Texans will amass 6 sacks, highlighted by the beast outing of Brooks Reed with 3.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2dyLX1t8-E

But I know the Texans won’t get the rec they deserve. Rackers and Casey get highlight clips on ESPeN:

Rackers kicks off, makes the tackle (again), steps on somebody’s face (again), forces a fumble, recovers, and runs it in for a TD (pardon all the commas and parenthestical devices). (And yes, I STILL want this very much to happen because our kicker kicks ass!)

2nd half of the 1st Quarter:

Casey lays Fat Albert out and steps on his face (again) whilst creating a huge hole for Bent 8. Ben loses his footing on all the blood flooding from Albert’s prolapsed colon and laterals to Casey who steps on Al’s face (again) on his way to 6.

Otherwise, business as usual. Arianbent8foster combine for 292.5 total yards and 3 TDs. The other back (teh Schaub) gets 35 yards rushing and a TD. OWEN!!! gets 76 yards and a TD. Walter and Dreessen both get over 50 yards.

Then we have to start the 2nd Quarter.

Final: 76 – 3.

1. Shaun Cody will not intercept a pass
2. Schaub will not get a rushing TD
3. Texans win 31-13 after trailing 13-10 at the half.

Alright, this game shouldnt be close mainly due to Houston mananagung clock with the ball and smart throws ( like 49ers i think).
Foster- 110 yards 16 rec but no TD
Tate- 60 yards and two TD ( 25 and 1 yarder) ( or i wish im 2nd in a fantasy league and need major points from him and Newton)
Casey- 50 yds 1 Td
Scaub- 175 yards 1 int and td
 Def- 4 sacks and a QB FF recovered by Bucs by Reed
 Bucs overall- 45 rush yds, 2 pass TD, 1 int, 220 pass yds.
Question to BRB’ers : Texans are improved. No doubt. But alot of wins came from teams with bad records i.e. Fins. Colts. Opinion on that? Are you guys playoff-ready or any WR in stock in case Dre not healthy.

…or my 3 and out useless predictions.

TexansDC has tabbed such Texans as Duane Brown, Brian Cushing, Owen Daniels, Danieal Manning, Jacoby Jones and last week, Lawrence “Road Grader” Vickers to receive “Unsung” honors and deservedly so. Those players have exemplified themselves helping the Texans to a division leading 6 and 3 record. So, TDC sang their praises and put their names on the sheet of music we call the Houston Texans. Here’s my prediction for the next refrain. Snap your fingers, tap your feet, and wiggle your tush… because this Sunday the O-line will dominate like never before. Yes, last weeks record setting 261 yards rushing was impressive. This week the O-line takes it to the air, protecting Schaubby for a total clean game with no sacks, not pressures and no hurries. Schaubby airs it out for over 400 yards and 3 TDs. But that is not the whole tune. In a rare departure from the normal, Kubiak makes a special request from the sidelines for a little Wildcat from the 2 yard line. Chris Myers notifies the referee that he is a legal receiver and he spreads outside in ODs TE position as Wade Smith moves in over center, Duane Brown takes over LG and OD moves in at LT. Myers, feelin’ jiggy, peels off down the goal line. With Schaub rolling he launches a high pass that Myers leaps up and snags as he piles through the Safety, scoring in a collision at the goal line that looks like an 18-wheeler going through fog. Chris Myers scores easily and celebrates doing the Gettin’Jiggy Wit It as his teammates step back in a circle and join in, thus earning Myers the Unsung Hero award. Monday night, we see Myers on the Jimmy Kimmel show giving Gettin’Jiggy Wit It dance lessons.

Vega has a knack for picking out plays that standout not just because they are impactful, but also because they dazzle our sense of football awareness. Then he details their intricacies and it all makes sense to us and the world is right again! Well, this week a play just happens to fall into his lap that deserves such recognition. The play is for the Texans, the very first play of the game and it’s on Special Teams. It’s the coin flip! As most of you know, a coin flip is a form of sortition which inherently has only two possible and equally likely outcomes. This day, Cap’n DeMeco Ryans, wearing his helmet equipped with radio gear going to his DC, receives the call from Wade Phillips, who received the call from Gary Kubiak on the sidelines, who prior to the game received a Tweet from Bob McNair, who at the breakfast table that morning received a softly spoken request from his loving wife, that she would like to call heads. Meco, having received the order for heads, makes the call. The coin flip comes up heads! The Texans receive the kickoff and summarily move the ball right down the field resulting in a TD at the end of a 9 minute drive! The Bucs, so demoralized proceed to fall apart and not mount any challenges to the Texans for the rest of the afternoon. Mrs. McNair’s morning head call turns out to be the Power Play of the game!

TexansDC thankfully, frequently drops his knowledge on us about fantasy sleepers. This week he tells us to start every Texan you can think of, because they will all be putting up big numbers! Well, yes, they will. But I want to point out one player who wasn’t mentioned specifically by TDC, but, who will be giving that extra effort out there this Sunday and that is Derrick “The Glacier” Ward, the former Buc, who received no respect and was cut just before the 2010 season started. Derrick takes the ball in his limited role with the Texans and makes the best of it. On 5 touches, Ward racks up 87 yards rushing and 63 yards receiving to go with his 2 TDs. That is a Sleeper Day from a guy who wants his respect and goes out and gets it! Congrats to Derrick Ward in advance! You are much appreciated here in Houston, you fantasy sleeper you!