Samsung Game Ball Of The Week: Matt Schaub
by Tim on Nov 16, 2011 7:00 PM CST
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Print/chokes back sobs
/puts on brave face
/takes deep breath
I would like to proudly present Matt Schaub (voice breaks) with Samsung's Game Ball of the Week for his tremendous efforts in the win over the Buccaneers in Tampa. From an 80-yard touchdown pass to Jacoby Jones on the first play from scrimmage to his final snap of the afternoon, Schaub exemplified all that is great about your 2011 Houston Texans.
/stops to compose myself
/fails miserably
/begins openly weeping
He led them to seven wins in ten games, to the top of the AFC South and to the top of the entire conference. But more than that, Matt Schaub...
WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYYY? I HATE YOU, ALBERT HAYNESWORTH! I HATE YOU!
/runs off stage in tears
/trips
/falls
/staggers to feet
/throws open door
/sprints through parking lot, in general direction of liquor store
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Seems you need a..
The Texan Floater, you wanna flush it but you can't.
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
Whitest, I ment Meanest Front Seven in Football.
by WreckNTexan on Nov 16, 2011 7:04 PM CST reply actions 3 recs
And the answer is; Yes Towlie
I wanna get high!
by Its Gonna Happen on Nov 16, 2011 7:29 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Um
I was referring to that whole episode. Kyle told Towelie he was stupid. Towelie echoed “You’re stupid”. Kyle then said, “You’re a TOWEL, dude.” Towelie’s response, “YOU’RE a towel.”
Sorry you thought I was calling you a towel, there, Its Gonna Happen. Just following your lead and quoting the episode.
A cornucopia of wholesome goodness!
Was just playin around
No reason to get all girly now…
Twas pretty funny though…
by Its Gonna Happen on Nov 16, 2011 8:49 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
And if I get weird about Mom quotes
she just passed in 2009, so I am kinda on edge and not knowing how to act about stuff I used to take in stride. No worries! I’ll get back into the swing of things on that. All good, bro!
You’re still a towel, though, heh heh.
A cornucopia of wholesome goodness!
by Gerbillogic on Nov 16, 2011 9:01 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Hell, sometimes I am just a rag
A cornucopia of wholesome goodness!
by Gerbillogic on Nov 16, 2011 10:15 PM CST up reply actions
errr....supposed to ignore since it's a sponsored post??
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
Know what?
You’re right.
/starts throwing tomatoes
Sellouts!
With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!
by RaY210 on Nov 16, 2011 9:17 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Tim
Can you bring me back a fifth of Wild Turkey and a case of Smirnoff Light Ice while you are there? Or a case of Wild Turkey, and a fifth of Smirnoff stuff. Just don’t bring back a case of Smurf Herpes.
Thanks.
A cornucopia of wholesome goodness!
On December 22nd
We can all make a big toast to Teh Schaub and the wondrous season that the Texans have put forth. All in person!
A cornucopia of wholesome goodness!
Toast his whole career
the guy has been great for us. But I am going to be an insane optimist and hope that he’ll be back for our first playoff game, which will be in the second round because we will have a first round bye.
by cubic on Nov 16, 2011 8:40 PM CST up reply actions 6 recs
Never know
There’s the outside chance that Matt Leinart could be much better than we expected him to be & we could be watching the Texans trying to lock up the #1 seed
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 16, 2011 9:20 PM CST up reply actions
...that sense of gratitude Arian physically displays following every TD is beginning to pay big dividends.
Hope the trend continues.
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
Matt Leinart exceeding expectations is almost a given.
Since expectations are so low…
by WhiskeyR on Nov 17, 2011 8:46 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
/wags sympathetically
/lays down beside sobbing Tim
/lays head on Tim’s hand in sympathy
/notices that Tim had barbecue for lunch
/feigns sympathetic lick to get a taste
/gets up to find out into what trashcan Tim threw the bones
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
I always thought this is what my dog did to me.
No licks out of affection, just wanting to taste what I had today.
Actually its that and a fascination with furrless skin...
How do you guys not FREEZE?
Although, a little stray BBQ sauce is always welcome.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
Oh, and rec'd... good stuff
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
I would have given it to Cush.
He’s playing like an All-Pro right now.
"Hakeem couldn't kick your ass cuz you were too
close kissin his!"- Sir Charles to Kenny Smith.
Crushing is a madman right now
My wife had a dream on Cushing and I swear she has a crush on Arian. Ahh, I guess I am ok with that… :)
A cornucopia of wholesome goodness!
Forget the Samsung game ball
Can Samsung get Schaub a healthy foot? Hell amputate David Carr’s feet, not like he ever used them and give on to Schaub!
Carpe Diem
by TEXAN_CHIEF on Nov 16, 2011 8:30 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
Inside the NFL has a great interview of Cushing
and he’s talking about the QB situation. Very good interview if you get a chance to view the show this week.
Good praise from the INFL crew about the Texans this season. Catch it if you can!!
"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"
Josh Freeman was mic'd up
and it wasn’t pretty…
"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"
Yes it was
and a lot of nice defensive plays there too
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 16, 2011 9:35 PM CST up reply actions
Cam, Vick and Freeman were mic'd up on INFL
wasn’t anywhere near as good as Cush, but they start the interview with his helmetless mic’d up headshot the week before.
"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"
any links to this? I'm cable-less... :(
Swat and swim, dip and rip, twist and spin; just do whacha gotta do to light up that QB.
There's a series of FX videos at the top of the page.
http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-films-sound-efx/09000d5d823f4a30/Sound-FX-Brian-Cushing
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
I don't think they stream over the Internet, but here is the site
http://sports.sho.com/#/football
"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"
sweetness. thanks man!
Swat and swim, dip and rip, twist and spin; just do whacha gotta do to light up that QB.
Can it top...
WHOA M#%@$#+ F&$%#&!!
With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!
by RaY210 on Nov 16, 2011 9:15 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
did it sound like a pack of dogs chasing the mailman?
Swat and swim, dip and rip, twist and spin; just do whacha gotta do to light up that QB.
So..
I saw a crawler on NFLN that Haynesworthless didn’t practice today with a knee injury.
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Nov 16, 2011 9:17 PM CST reply actions
Busted it when Matt's Lisfranc...got stuck in Big Al's stirrup.
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
Maybe Matt flew to Tampa to settle the score by beathing Fat Albert with a cactus before heading to Charlotte to see the DR
"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"
by MeMongo on Nov 16, 2011 9:45 PM CST up reply actions 6 recs
Looks like Puerto Azua, Dom Rep...
I remember watching a fuel truck burn down there years ago.
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
Or Liberia
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 16, 2011 10:11 PM CST up reply actions
I have no idea why I find this so funny
but it probably has something to do with the copious amounts of homebrew I drank last night.
Rec’d anyways.
"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"
nice... Can haz?
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
I don't think that will get through his fat. Use this instead
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 17, 2011 11:56 AM CST up reply actions
What if...
Leinart lights it up and goes 6-0? What if he goes hot into the playoffs and takes us to the AFC championship or SB? I think Schaub has done a good job, but what if Leinart does better? I am not saying he will, but I certainly don’t think Schaub’s absence will affect the momentum of Texans. All the players seem really confident that he’ll play well. Kubes has high regard for his work ethic and talks highly of him. He seems to have turned a new leaf since his hot-tubbin days. The playbook is a perfect fit for his strengths. The Cardinals still can’t figure it out in the QB position, and I think that’s more of a testament to coaching and play-calling, rather than a poor QB. He had an opportunity to go crawling back to Carroll and didn’t. Stay positive guys. I think everything’s gonna be O.K.
Swat and swim, dip and rip, twist and spin; just do whacha gotta do to light up that QB.
...putting on a fresh batch to brew...
Wade Aide. Gdod fer your thirst…
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
*good
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
as long as it contains some of Cushing's blood...
Swat and swim, dip and rip, twist and spin; just do whacha gotta do to light up that QB.
Bioorganic platelet rich injection of awesomeness..
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
Also a drop of Andre's ichor wouldn't hurt either
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 16, 2011 10:06 PM CST up reply actions
Sounds like the formula for Kubiade
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 16, 2011 10:12 PM CST up reply actions
Which when Mixed with
The Texan Floater, you wanna flush it but you can't.
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
Whitest, I ment Meanest Front Seven in Football.
by WreckNTexan on Nov 16, 2011 10:44 PM CST up reply actions
When mixed with Wade Aide creates
The Texan Floater, you wanna flush it but you can't.
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
Whitest, I ment Meanest Front Seven in Football.
by WreckNTexan on Nov 16, 2011 10:45 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
Oh YEAH!!!!!
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
It's definitely possible...
The first couple of games, they may be so focused on stopping Barian Fostate that it opens up the pass, and he actually lights it up and gives him the confidence to go on a streak to the playoffs. We gotta believe!
With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!
by RaY210 on Nov 16, 2011 11:20 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Focusing on stopping Fostate might have worked for New Orleans, Oakland, and Baltimore...
But I pity the fool who tries that when we have a healthy Andre Johnson.
Exactly...
If they underestimate Matt 2.0, hopefully he’ll make them pay
With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!
by RaY210 on Nov 16, 2011 11:55 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Wasn't Andre healthy for NO?
Granted, I don’t think the O-line was playing great then.
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Nov 17, 2011 8:06 AM CST up reply actions
Andre was healthy for NO
but we didn’t have Foster in the backfield.
by Tailgate Andy on Nov 17, 2011 8:43 AM CST up reply actions
Oops, I just listed games we lost and assumed we were missing him.
Missing Foster though for that game so still not full strength.
Cant they
put him in a protective boot like they did big ben & play him after like 4 weeks??
all I know is one legged schaub>> matt frat boy leinart
The good thing is
He practices against the #1 defense!
With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!
by RaY210 on Nov 16, 2011 11:57 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
No, he can't put any weight on his foot while it's recovering
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 17, 2011 3:34 AM CST up reply actions
Check out this Delisional "writer" from Dallas
Thinking the cowhores have a better chance than the Texans and insulting our organization.
http://www.star-telegram.com/2011/11/16/3532042/mac-engel-if-texans-are-going.html
Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!
*Delusional
Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!
by MeSoLongHorny on Nov 17, 2011 7:22 AM CST up reply actions
this guy
is smokin crack.. Lol
by ArianNation713 on Nov 17, 2011 7:34 AM CST via iPhone app up reply actions
He's a troll...
…following the Skip Bayless philosophy of “journalism”; make a bunch of insulting inflammatory statements that delight 50% of the potential readership and infuriate 50% of the potential readership and then just sit back watch the hit counts SOAR.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
Same guy BFD fisked last week.
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Nov 17, 2011 8:08 AM CST up reply actions
What an asshole.
“Unwarranted optimism”? 10 weeks in and we’re the #1 seed in the AFC. Who wouldn’t be optimistic?
He then goes on to make himself look about as credible as Jerry Sandusky leading a boy scout troop.
Change that to
cub scout den and you are more accurate
/pukes in own mouth after that
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 17, 2011 9:05 AM CST up reply actions
New number for Two Day Hangover... 16
…number of seconds in the interview it took for Jerry Sandusky to answer the question “Are you sexually attracted to little boys?”
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
That was the creepiest interview ever.
How anybody, even someone who is guilty of such crimes, can be stupid enough to dance around that question instead of responding with a clear “NO.” is beyond me.
Well, he was also stupid enough ...
to hire an attorney who knocked up an underage girl.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
Said attorney married that underage girl as well
However he was smart enough to at least knock her up in a state where 16 was the legal age of consent
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 17, 2011 2:44 PM CST up reply actions
This whole case just is sinking to lower and lower depths.
I don’t think these guys can even see daylight anymore they are so far down.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
You actually listened to it?
I couldn’t bring myself to go find it and listen. I did however read the entire grand jury indictment….go figure that out.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
I skipped the grand jury indictment
The interview isn’t particularly gross because it is not very detailed. But it is somewhat disturbing to listen to. Nothing like the indictment though I would imagine.
The indictment will give you the shudders.
Probably even more so if you have children in your life that are near and dear to you.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
My 18 year old boys read the indictment and shared how graphic that was...
they were clearly disgusted by the details elaborated therein.
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
This particular incident proves ...
…that there is still a place for burning at the stake as a form of punishment in our society.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
Drawn and quartered....
is even looking like too easy of an out for this guy.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
I heard the cliff notes of the Bob Costas interview Tuesday on 610
That was disturbing enough, then they started comparing the lawyer’s voice to Herbert The Pervert from Family Guy
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 17, 2011 6:11 PM CST up reply actions
Well one quote is accurate
But as of Nov. 17, 2011, only one should be looking into potential flights to Indy.
Except it will be the Texans – not the Cowturds…
The guy does not understand Texans fans AT.ALL.
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 17, 2011 9:03 AM CST up reply actions
I don't think he honestly believes what he is writing
He just does it to get the hits.
"Never underestimate the dumb with JJ" - Hugh Jarce
The theme of this post
made me think of the Radney Foster song, “Old Silver.”
Now the Irish are funny/
They’ll cry when they hafta/
And the lady, she moaned such a mournful sound/
Me and the Mexican/
Just finished the bottle/
And remembered the days when Old Silver was around
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
i had sex with that writer's mother in 1987.
Dirt dog pimp
by jahunter221 on Nov 17, 2011 9:28 AM CST via mobile reply actions
What didn't?
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
by DilloTex on Nov 17, 2011 11:22 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
That is because he has Cowturd "logic"
You know, fans that don’t understand/know football
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 17, 2011 10:39 AM CST up reply actions
...and seem incapable of forming a mob of sufficient size to deal with Satan as an owner.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
Hey I just seen this as a nickname for Foster and Tate
The Fostate Exam. Any good?
Follow me on twitter: @Super_Stud2100
I get it but...
I thought “Cunt Doctor” was hilarious for OBGYN. prolly not no much for our she patrons in crime, though.
I was enamored with the “Barian Fostate” addition to the periodic chart. It had an atomic weight that fit…44.234423442344….very creative , plus some well thought out wrinkles.
Now as far as a title for a weekly post reviewing and documenting defensive players getting owned, bitched and turf fed by Tate and Foster, I’d say helluva good title.
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
They turf feed themselves trying to tackle Foster.
Foster just leaves ’em grasping at air so that they fall down and feast. Tate is the one that forcibly feeds them said turf. lulz
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
...exam...errrrr
/slides toward door
;- )
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
MOOOOON RIVerrrr!!!
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
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