Dan Orlovsky: Master of Disaster [corrected]
So, with the announcement that Dan Orlovsky has been made the starting quarterback of the Manningless-Colts we have the potential for history-in-the-making. Can you imagine being the guy who Quarterbacked the only previous 0-16 season/team in NFL history and being tapped to take over the reins of THIS particular team of FiveHeadless FiveHeads? Your name will go down in HISTORY as the "leader" of two different winless teams. He may be handling it just fine, but I wouldn't be sleeping too well at night.
The only comfort is that while people remember names like Benedict Arnold, Lee Harvey Oswald, Typhoid Mary, etc... They don't tend to remember the names of the captains of the Titanic, the Hindenburg, the Hood, etc... Maybe he'll benefit from that phenomenon.
I think Dan Orlovsky has some talent, but if he couldn't flourish in Houston with the tools at his disposal here, I'm not optimistic that he's going to be able to salvage a win from that smoldering pile of implosion debris that is the Colts at this point.
[12/01/2011 - T-Moar correctly pointed out that the Expansion Bucs were also winless (for a long dern time it turns out) so my premise is inherently flawed and I am quite embarrassed about it and hereby make a vow of silence for 60 seconds by way of penance. Starting right.... now.]
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shrek was a beast
he could take on ton’s of villagers and his odor alone would give him 2 yard gains per play. winner hands down
- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.
"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers
by NoSafetiesNeeded on Nov 30, 2011 9:14 AM CST reply actions
Doesn't he only have three fingers?
I don’t see him as a QB.
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
Reminds me of

The Texan Floater, you wanna flush it but you can't.
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
Whitest, I mean Best Front Seven in Football.
Anyone that doubts Shrek hasn't seen his movies
Shrek has alway proven to be improbably good at any physical activity, plus he comes from a kids/family movie series where there is a guaranteed happy ending.
by Franchise19 on Nov 30, 2011 10:33 AM CST up reply actions 3 recs
Rec'd for the happy ending
I'm a man!! I'm forty!!
by Hydroshock on Nov 30, 2011 11:38 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
ISWYDT
Rec’d!
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
Goo'd it in honor of Shrek
oooohhhh!!!! Yuk!
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
Wrecked....
and echoing Hydro….hoping for the happy ending. lulz
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
Voted for Dan Orlovsky
Perhaps I took the question too seriously. I would still rather have Orlovsky, who was here for a couple of years and hopefully has learned to at least find his helmet, vs. Jake Delhomme, who has been proven to suck AND doesn’t know our offense. I would still rather see what Yates has got before starting Orlovsky.
Of course, it’s all moot.
I’ve thought about the same thing – Orlovsky potentially at the helm not only of two winless teams, but of the ONLY two winless teams EVER! That’s one crappy resume there.
You know
He has a chance to change that story
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
That is certainly the "half full" way of looking at it...
Rip Jersey… optimist.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
The Colts have a chance
They fired their DC and promoted their LB Coach to that position. They have some remaining games against a few weak teams in Carolina, BESFs, and the Jags. I don’t give them a great chance against the Pats and Ravens. Given that the game against the Texans is a divisional game, who knows what happens there. I think Orlovsky is a step up from Painter. There is a chance for the Colts to win one game and break the winless streak.
……who am I kidding. The Colts have no chance.
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
I just don't see why they fired their DC at this point of the season
They’re 0-11 with a clear path to the #1 pick. He was doing his job perfectly
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 30, 2011 11:08 AM CST up reply actions
My thinking on that
The change in DC and QB will make no difference. The Colts are the worst team in the NFL right at this moment with no healthy Peyton Manning. With a healthy Peyton Manning, they are still one of the worst, but with a chance to not be the #1 pick. So, while that doesn’t answer your question, exactly, it does state the belief that they will still get #1 so long as Manning doesn’t take the field.
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
And that one went right over your head
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 30, 2011 11:24 AM CST up reply actions
Mine went right over your head
The new guy can do the job just as well
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
They've been in position to win a few games.
Maybe they want somebody to do a better job of sucking.
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Nov 30, 2011 1:12 PM CST up reply actions
We played Carolina last week.
Lost.
Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.
-from The Sayings of Muad'Dib by the Princess Irulan
by peytonsurdaddy on Nov 30, 2011 5:48 PM CST up reply actions
/stands corrected
/offers to share chewy by way of apology
/changes mind
/grabs chewy
/runs away
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
I was directing my post at JBal anyway.
But, you know, anything to get a mention in the OP.
/head scratch
Yeah, but my guilty conscience got the better of me...
…because on re-reading the original post while my wording was “technically” accurate, I knew that I really thought that the 0-16 Lions were the only winless team.
Always happy to learn something. I’m glad that I didn’t know about that Bucs team going into that first Texans season. I’d have been a nervous wreck. Ignorance was bliss.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
I stand corrected
I remember when the Lions went 0-16, much was made of them being the only 0-16 team ever. I guess the difference comes from the season having fewer games when the Bucs went winless, and I assumed that meant the Lions were the only winless team ever. Oops, my bag!
It's worse than that...
I looked it up… They were like ofer-26 when they came into the league. Who was the first team they beat you ask? Why the New Orleans Saints, interestingly enough.
As T-Moar said “/the more you know”…
Damn facts and shit…
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
yeah, I saw that.
Didn’t look it up, but I think the season was 14 games at the time, which means they nearly went through two winless seasons back to back. I’m still pretty sure Dan Orlovsky had something to do with it though, just haven’t figured out what yet.
/laughing...
“Darth” Orlovsky: “Uuuuse the endline…”
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
by DilloTex on Dec 2, 2011 11:02 AM CST up reply actions 4 recs
To be clear JBal...
…I was right there with you in thinking that Detroit was the only team to have a perfect(ly awful) season.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
I know, I went back and double checked the original post.
Still, the comment was in response to me. I didn’t bother to look it up before commenting, but I do remember the hoopla over Detroit having the first ever 0-16 season. The Bucs were winless, but not 0-16 (0-14 instead I guess), which threw me. Also, I was not born at that time, so I didn’t remember.
Come on now!
Also, I was not born at that time, so I didn’t remember.
You’re a fan of the Houston Texans! You gotta be more arrogant than that! Let me fix it for ya:
Also, I was not born at that time, so it doesn’t matter.
With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!
"Arrogant" Houston Texan fans...
Wow… what a concept…
I guess that is becoming a possibility… whodathunkit?
2002 – nope
2003 – nope
2004 – nope
2005 – nope
2006 – nope
2007 – nope
2008 – nope
2009 – nope
2010 – oh HELL nope
2011 – okay, I guess we’re due
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
the expansion Bucs were 0-14
in the 16 game era only the Lions have lost out
Beer, it's not just for breakfast anymore
Latest rumor is the Manning will start practicing in early December
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
That's just a day away....
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
I'm going to lose some respect for him if he does that...
That is just a stupid thing to do at this point. There is nothing to play for, no good outcome for the team if he plays. Risking the rest of his career for a Pyrrhic victory is not good judgment IMNSHO.
It could actually be seen as an incredibly SELFISH move as well. If he can come back and win enough games to cause them to lose the “Suck for Luck” sweepstakes, then he has reduced his competition for his job next year.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
I wouldn't say it's selfish
The reality is that they need to see how Manning comes back from the injury. If he is right back to the old Manning they don’t necessarily have to get Luck because they will have Manning for 4 more years or so. Then they could focus on fixing other parts of the team, which, as we have seen this year, are awful.
If he isn’t any good and they only win a game or two they can still get Luck probably. Worst case scenario they end up with Barkley which isn’t a bad problem to have.
by maroonedTexan on Nov 30, 2011 1:28 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
I'm not sure what word I would use to describe Manning if he tries to come back.
Maybe “brave” if he is successful. Maybe “stupid” if he is hurt again. Maybe “selfish” if he is successful in thwarting the Colts chance at the #1 pick. Ahead of time, I might consider Manning coming back this season to be “confusing” to me, because the latest surgery fused vertebrae in his neck and to me, that is a serious thing.
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
I would agree
On an injury that serious, something that may effect his quality of life forever, he ld take every precaution. If he can come back though he gives the team a chance to see if he has anything left in the tank.
by maroonedTexan on Nov 30, 2011 1:55 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Agreed completely...
I’m just mystified at why he would rush recuperation from a NECK surgery. Rehab a few extra months and come back next Summer. There’s not a single Colt fan that would hold that against him and rushing things just looks irresponsible to me.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
Shrek
Massive body, arm like a cannon, deceptively quick (fool had a donkey and a ginger on each arm and outran a flippin’ DRAGON!), calm under immense pressure, and an extremely high tolerance for pain (arrow in the posterior and didn’t even know).
WHY HAVE YOU NO SIGNED HIM, RICK?!?!?!?!?!
What was this thread about again?
Oh yeh, Orlovsky….that’s a real winner, Dillo….. What next week? The return of Rosenfels to the Vikes? Can’ wait!
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

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