Your Week 13 Rooting Guide For The Houston Texans
by Karsh on Nov 30, 2011 11:42 AM CST
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Well, that was an ugly week, wasn't it? Despite nearly everything that could go wrong doing so, however, the Texans are currently sitting atop the AFC. Let's review, shall we?
Texans @ Jaguars - Texans Win (+)
49ers @ Ravens - Ravens Win (-)
Patriots @ Eagles - Patriots Win (-)
Steelers @ Chiefs - Steelers Win (-)
Bills @ Jets - Jets Win (Meh)
Buccaneers @ BE-SFs - BE-SFs Win (-)
Bears @ Raiders - Raiders Win (-)
Panthers @ Colts - Panthers Win (-)
So that puts us at 1-6-1 for the week. Hit the jump for this week's slate of rooting interests as more and more teams become irrelevant while the playoff picture crystallizes.
The Obvious
Atlanta Falcons (7-4) @ Houston Texans (8-3) - Texans
Let's hope that this "T.J .Yates Just Wins Games" meme can stay strong. These next two games are going to tell us a lot about what we can expect from the Texans in the playoffs.
The #1 Seed Race
Baltimore Ravens (8-3) @ Cleveland Browns (4-7) - Browns
The Ravens visit the Factory of Sadness to inflict another crushing defeat on the Browns. Let's hope the Browns can defy fate and take the Ravens down a notch.
Indianapolis Derps (0-11) @ New England Patriots (8-3) - Colts
How hilarious would it be if the Colts could upset the Patriots at ho--- I'm sorry, I can't even finish typing that. Next!
Cincinnati Bengals (7-4) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (8-3) - Bengals, maybe.
This one requires some forward-looking schedule analysis, so strap in. With a crowded AFC North looking to send three of its teams to the playoffs, this is far from cut and dry.
The Steelers remaining schedule includes the Bengals, the Browns, the 49ers, the Rams, and the Browns again. They should win both Browns games and the Rams game, while the Bengals and 49ers are potential losses. This means the Steelers should finish either 11-5 or 12-4.
The Bengals are yet to play the Steelers, the Texans, the Rams, the Cardinals, and the Ravens. They should beat the Rams and the Cardinals, giving a likely range for their final record of 9-7 to 11-5.
The Steelers currently represent a bigger threat because of their higher potential finish, but that could change if the Bengals get on a roll and beat both the Steelers and the Texans, especially since the Texans have the benefit of a head-to-head tiebreaker over the Steelers.
If the Texans finish 11-5 with a loss to the Bengals, hope for the #1 seed lies in the Steelers beating the Bengals and dropping a game to one of their remaining opponents, as well as the Bengals dropping a game to the Cardinals or the Rams, but beating the Ravens. For now, we want the Bengals to win, but we could change our minds after next week.
Yeesh.
Oakland Raiders (7-4) @ Miami Dolphins (3-8) - Dolphins
Oakland enters the conversation for the #1 seed by virtue of getting to play the AFC West twice this season. They get to play Green Bay next week, so hopefully they're clobbered out of this category by Week 15.
The Rest of the AFC (That Matters)
New York Jets (6-5) @ Washington Redskins (4-7) - Redskins
Mark Sanchez continues to get bailed out by God-knows-what. NFC over AFC.
Methopotamia BE-SFs (6-5) @ Buffalo Bills (5-6) - Buffalo
The Bills are looking to stop a 4 game skid. Who better to do it against than the fine folks in Tennessee? Maybe CJ2YPC will freeze to death in Buffalo.
Currently, the Ravens and the Patriots have the inside track to first round byes with the softest remaining schedules. If the Texans can get out of this two game stretch with wins or even a split, they might be able to keep pace.
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I got lost in there a little bit
but
BUT the Texans would have to win out to jump the Steelers in the AFC on a tie-breaker, whereas if they win out against the Bengals, they’d have a win over them.
head to head is first, and we own it v. the Steelers, as you mentioned, so this confuseled me.
Yates - our current game manager.
The Bengals-Steelers game confused me too because I think there are some situations where we'd actually want the Steelers to win.
I’ll probably edit that section later today, but the gist of it is that the way that the Steelers’ schedule is expected to go, if the Bengals beat the Texans next week, they would need to win all 4 of their remaining games to tie the Steelers as I anticipate them finishing (12-4).
I have issue with this...
If the Texans finish 11-5 with a loss to the Bengals, hope for the #1 seed lies in the Steelers beating the Bengals and dropping a game to one of their remaining opponents, as well as the Bengals dropping a game to the Cardinals or the Rams, but beating the Ravens. For now, we want the Bengals to win, but we could change our minds after next week.
While 11-5 does indeed seem like a realistic/pessimistic outlook for us, you really think that’ll be enough for the 1-seed?
The Pats end the season with this schedule: vs IND, @ WAS, @ DEN, vs MIA, vs BUF. I find it unlikely they lose two of those… I suppose if they do, and we finish 11-5, then we indeed will get in over them (provided we don’t lose to IND/BESFs).
But yeah, as I said, I think it’s the Pats to lose… unless we beat ATL/CIN, (or both), which I don’t think is completely out of the question.
"So, do you think of like, poetry while you're running? Like, you just running downfield and you just like, making a haiku?" - Brian Cushing
Not at all. I would sincerely doubt that 11-5 is good enough for the #1 seed.
But looking at the Bengals-Steelers matchup in a vacuum, that’s the record we have to be concerned with in considering who you’d want to win.
Maybe starting week 15 I’ll start looking at the AFC as a whole rather than matchup by matchup.
DEN and MIA
Won’t be cake walks for them. Tebow has god on his side and Sparano will be coaching for his job and wanting to play spoiler.
by BricAM on Nov 30, 2011 4:48 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
I thinking we want Pittsburg to win
because they are playing a team we could potentially lose to, whereas we’ve already beaten them.
There’s too many variables past week 13 to go much deeper than that.
I ran the playoff machine and depending on the winner of that game and the week 17 Bal-Cin game we could either have Baltimore, Cinci, or Pitt coming to our house for the wildcard if we finish 2-3, and the BE-SFs lose one (natch). If the BE-SFs win out, week 17 could be for home field advantage in the wildcard the following week for the re-match.
But good luck @Buf and v. NO.
Yates - our current game manager.
Hi there
Due to some very bad experiences, I’ve stayed away from blogs and stories, just enjoyed the games and hoped for brighter days. Recently, however, I found this site, and have been lurking while developing an opinion on the people involved and the over-all atmosphere. May I just say, y’all are AWESOME!!! I found myself typing my first post because of 1 simple point that confuses me greatly: I figured out who the BE-SFs are, but what on earth does it stand for?
No matter how old you are, no matter how badass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.
by Rae of Lite on Nov 30, 2011 4:37 PM CST reply actions 7 recs
baby eating sister fuckers
watch this to understand
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiH4-h4o6Us
Thank You
The glossary was very helpful and cleared up a few other questions I had.
No matter how old you are, no matter how badass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.
Welcome, Rae
Glad you joined us.
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
So am I
This is my new pick-me-up at the end of very long days lol
No matter how old you are, no matter how badass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.
Welcome!
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 30, 2011 7:33 PM CST up reply actions
Welcome to the insanity.
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Nov 30, 2011 8:33 PM CST up reply actions
Given what it stands for
I’m kinda scared to watch that video lol
No matter how old you are, no matter how badass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.
My children
may never play with Barbie dolls again….
No matter how old you are, no matter how badass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.
by Rae of Lite on Nov 30, 2011 5:09 PM CST up reply actions 5 recs
lol
and welcome
"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." -- Benjamin Disraeli
"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers." -- Homer Simpson
"There is no rehab for stupid." -- Chris Rock
Never try to baptize a cat.
Awesome...
“Hey Dad-Bro…” that almost killed me.
by DaManess54 on Nov 30, 2011 6:25 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Oddly enough
the Broncos kind of scare me as a matchup. A team that just runs and runs and runs? yikes
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
doesnt scare me. Not with this defense. they can try to run all they want.
I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.
~Muhammad Ali
From the Dirty Birds Site
CB Brent Grimes (knee) DNP
CB Kelvin Hayden (toe) DNP
C Todd McClure (not injury related) DNP
LB Stephen Nicholas (quad) DNP
WR Julio Jones (hamstring) DNP
RB Michael Turner (groin) DNP
DT Vance Walker (groin) DNP
If Grimes does not play – this could be a real plus!
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
Is Turner hurt or just healing up from the game?
I heard kubes gave Cushing an extra day of rest…
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
I don't know
But Grimes is for sure out
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 30, 2011 8:24 PM CST up reply actions
I can think of 2 reasons we should root for Cincy
1. They could end up with a better record than the Steelers, and we are less likely to have to play against the Refs too, if we play the Bengals.
2. Just because. Houston fans should root against the Steelers on principle alone. (any Houston fan older than 30 should know why)
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
This.
Houston fans should root against the Steelers on principle alone. (any Houston fan older than 30 should know why)
Bastards derailed more than one playoff run for the old Oilers.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
of course,
Plus I live near. The Factory of Sadness, the only place I’ve seen The Texans play to date. I have SEVERAL reasons to hate the “Stihlers” and their fans.
by mckraut on Dec 1, 2011 6:43 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
Going for Pittsburgh in a brutally physical game...
….would much rather have the Texans face a demoralized Bengals team that very recently had the snot kicked out of it.
I can not...in my right mind
Ever…ever…ever…EVER root for the BE-SFs. No no no. No manner of how much it could help us will EVER allow for such lunacy!
-- "...I was sick, napping, and then woke up and came to the computer to read a note from the Gingered Angel of Doom..." Martek - Dynamo Theory Blog
there is but one circumstance in which I will go for the Steelers or the besf:
if they are playing the cowboys
Beer, it's not just for breakfast anymore
What if a victory by either of those hurts the Texans in some way?
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 2, 2011 2:55 PM CST up reply actions
Yeah no kidding
BESFs are a division rival. I would definitely root for the Cryboys to beat them, despite the fact that I loathe them.
Gonna be tough
If the Texans can get out of this two game stretch with wins or even a split, they might be able to keep pace.
I’ll be happy with a split. Atlanta’s offense is hot, and Cincy on the road is scary right now. Two losses in a row is a realistic possibility.
As far as the seed race, I think our most realistic hope is the 2 seed, and even that’s looking iffy. The Pats might not lose again, and Baltimore has come out the other side of their toughest stretch with hardly a scratch.
For now, I’m just concentrating on the continuing demise of the BESF’s.
Damn it, if not for teh Schaub!
Kubiak believes in you
The one hope with the Ravens is
They’ve definitely demonstrated that they play down to the level of their competition.
by Karsh on Dec 1, 2011 6:33 AM CST via iPhone app up reply actions
True
And Cleveland played Cincy tough in both matchups. It wouldn’t shock me if they lose this week. But it wouldn’t shock me if they won out either.
Kubiak believes in you
For me, I’d rather the Steelers take the AFC North (Texans of course, taking the AFC South and tied for the top record in the AFC or having the best overall record period) & the Pats getting knocked down a peg or two, cuz that’d leave the Texans on top with the tie-breaker over the Steelers, with Baltimore having to travel & NE getting only one game at home. I’d be shocked if the Ravens beat the Steelers 3x in one season, and I believe the Texans can get the job done the rest of this season, opponents’ skills (among the better teams) and the Texans’ QB situation not withstanding.
From what I can tell
our magic number is basically 3 to win the division. That’s the thing I care the most about. I think our defense and ST can hang with anyone in the AFC no matter where we play. Obviously I’d rather them play at home, but as long as our offense gels between now and the playoffs, then I don’t care if we’re #1 or #4 going in.
Will the sky fall when you guys lose this week?
MCM Logic > Real Logic
Titans Dave Ball on tackling Bucs Blount: "It’s like trying to tackle a greased up, naked guy in the shower."
"You give Peyton Manning a better gm, coach, owner and he goes down as the greatest person to ever live." - coltsfan1888
by Dynamic Dreadlocks on Dec 2, 2011 11:42 AM CST reply actions
Not if the Titans lose this weekend
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Dec 2, 2011 12:06 PM CST up reply actions
I see what you did there
MCM Logic > Real Logic
Titans Dave Ball on tackling Bucs Blount: "It’s like trying to tackle a greased up, naked guy in the shower."
"You give Peyton Manning a better gm, coach, owner and he goes down as the greatest person to ever live." - coltsfan1888
by Dynamic Dreadlocks on Dec 2, 2011 12:32 PM CST up reply actions
That doesn't answer my question.
MCM Logic > Real Logic
Titans Dave Ball on tackling Bucs Blount: "It’s like trying to tackle a greased up, naked guy in the shower."
"You give Peyton Manning a better gm, coach, owner and he goes down as the greatest person to ever live." - coltsfan1888
by Dynamic Dreadlocks on Dec 2, 2011 1:46 PM CST up reply actions
That doesn't answer my question.
MCM Logic > Real Logic
Titans Dave Ball on tackling Bucs Blount: "It’s like trying to tackle a greased up, naked guy in the shower."
"You give Peyton Manning a better gm, coach, owner and he goes down as the greatest person to ever live." - coltsfan1888
by Dynamic Dreadlocks on Dec 2, 2011 1:46 PM CST up reply actions
IF the Texans lose
idiots will be calling the radio stations screaming about how we should have gotten Favre.
Other than than, it’s not a huge ordeal, you guys have a good football team and we have a 3rd strong rookie starting his first game. If we can come away with no injuries and our pride (read-not a blowout), I’ll be happy.
Thank you for a legitimate reply.
And most rational Titans fans know we have a better shot at a wildcard than the division title.
MCM Logic > Real Logic
Titans Dave Ball on tackling Bucs Blount: "It’s like trying to tackle a greased up, naked guy in the shower."
"You give Peyton Manning a better gm, coach, owner and he goes down as the greatest person to ever live." - coltsfan1888
by Dynamic Dreadlocks on Dec 2, 2011 1:53 PM CST up reply actions
As a life-long Houston fan
I know we still have a huge chance to tank just because of past Houston curses. But I remain optimistic.
Never mind that most people probably penciled this one in as a loss anyway.
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 2, 2011 2:38 PM CST up reply actions
That was before
The Bleeding Cushing
Knowing J Jo is the best Corner in the League
Barwinning’s 4 sacks in 1 game
Knowing we have likely 2 1000 yd running backs this year
And Shaun Cody actually making plays (you read that right)
No one counted on all of that
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 2, 2011 10:36 PM CST up reply actions
No the sky will not fall
we accept the fact that the falcons are a very good team and win or lose we will give them the fight of their lives, how bad are your guys going to feel when you lose to the jaguars, saints, and everyone else on your schedule? oh fuck you troll, I said all will say, go back to your meth lab and blow yourself up.
Beer, it's not just for breakfast anymore
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