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Kubiak Konundrum -- Rapa Nui Edition (a/k/a Jags Game 2, a/k/a False Advertising Edition)

So, fair warning one: This will not be your normal entry due to the fact that I do not have a keyboard that I know how to use an apostrophe on. So bear with me and accept the { or the absence of apostrophes as my apostrophe. And, basically, please accept my lack of capital letters and formatting and proper punctuation.

Ed. note: Fixed. I couldn't handle how it looked unedited.

Fair warning two: This entry will discuss none of the normal Kubiak Konundrum fare. I only was able to listen to the game and will double up next week when I have finally watched it. Seemed to me like a masterfully managed job in the second half, but please leave comments if I should pay special attention to anything.

Third fair warning; Here's what I wrote Sunday evening, slightly edited, which sounded scarily like Tim's have-fun take with way more ramblings.

Star-divide

Okay, so I'm on my honeymoon, dammit. I'm definitely not going to let this ruin my mood. Elizabeth's asleep after a trip to the ER for an eye ulcer (yeah, I've never heard of it), but she's not going to let it ruin her mood either. Yes, we are in Rapa Nui, a/k/a Easter Island, the most remote inhabited island on the planet, and somehow we found a way to kind of/sort of find an internet shop that was fast enough to stream Mark Vandemeer along with choppy video. Finding an open hospital on a Sunday was a little tougher, but we perservered, just like the Texans defense did while playing the role of local mash unit.

But, dont get me wrong. Elizabeth fought through it. She fought through the ulcer to watch/listen to the game even though she couldn't open her right eye. Then, after the game, she went to the hospital just like Matt Leinart. We all put our pants on and go to hospitals the same way--one leg or step or indecipherable taxi ride at a time.

Here's my point: Arian, Mario, Andre, Sharpton, Schaub, and now Leinart (Rashad Butler at least gets a mild props here, even if Dom Barber doesnt). Shit done already hit the fan. No use complaining. No use fretting. No use even hypothesizing the next whens and whos and whys.

As one of my heroes, Jake Taylor, might say, there's only one thing left to do: Win the whole, fucking thing.

Im not going to go that far, but I will say I think it's conceivable. As is a first round loss.

All I know is it's gonna be fun.

And, really, this might be the thing the team needed for the mass loves of the fandom. I've always had the theory that you can't truly love a team--I'm talking down to the bone--until it crushes your heart.

It's nothing against this Texans team. I love them very much. But has this team really crushed anyone's heart? It's had games that kick you in the nuts. But it's never really been in enough contention to crush and rip that heart out. Not like that damn team in that damn game in Buffalo (or Pittsburgh, I've heard). Not like the 'Stros in Game 6. Not like the Rockets did before doing CPR on our bleeding pacemakers as they fried on the cement.

So, to come full circle, this team was just finally starting to finally put it all together enough to properly break our hearts. Do external forces not caused by the team count in the breaking hearts category? Do all those years of futility and dramatic losses overcome the extremes of playoff heartbreak?

Here's the thing: I don't care. For now, the expectations are off. For the relevance of the Kubriak Konundrum, I think everyone has pretty much given him a one year pass, barring a total collapse.

For the first time in awhile, I say let's stop thinking about it and just have fun. Let's just sit back and double that Texans-to-win-the-Super-Bowl bet we have since the odds have most likely returned to that level for the first time since preseason. Let's get fully behind this T.J. Hooker kid, fully embrace him and the team, and start believing as he takes us to a bye. Let's start believing that he can take us all the way. Only if we give our full hearts to that scenario can they later be considered fully crushed and our future Kubiak championships will be that much more rewarding.

Or, we just might give Rachel Phelps that big ole shit burger and win the whole fucking thing.

You never know.

That's why we love sports.

Texans vs Jaguars coverage

Poll
Different sorta poll this week...
Are the Texans already the sports team you've loved most?
121 votes
Do they need to break your heart first?
10 votes
Are there certain first wives dressed in columbia blue whom you can never love another like again?
20 votes

151 votes | Poll has closed

Comment 29 comments  |  7 recs  | 

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Still got pictures of the first wife on the mantle....

…..decked out in her Columbia blue. Gonna take a few unjust heart-breaking ass-kickings to properly unseat her…

And just like in Buffalo, it did happen in Pittsburgh. Twice.

Nicely put. Let’s go all-in on TJ….. what do we have to lose this point?

by Ezekiel 25 17 on Nov 30, 2011 11:18 PM CST reply actions  

Experiencing the Kubrick Konundrum on Rapa Nui

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 1, 2011 9:06 AM CST reply actions  

I Have Few Rules In Life

But one of ‘em is that any post penned from Easter Island gets rec’d and front paged.

Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...

by Tim on Dec 1, 2011 10:01 AM CST reply actions  

Rec'd

For the Patton references. Always love me some Patton references.

My thoughts are like Brian Cushing on the field: Everywhere.

by f22a4bandit on Dec 1, 2011 11:08 AM CST up reply actions  

One of my faves

“Your job is NOT to die for your country, your job is to make the other bastard die for HIS country.”

A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving

by Foster Child on Dec 1, 2011 5:35 PM CST up reply actions  

Kubes' only choice is #3...

the 2nd half against the Kitties showed that option #1 will make the top-ranked defense into a middle-tier defense by keeping them on the field too long and too often. That’s the choice Landry would have made. Rosencopter taught us all that option #2 doesn’t work either… it’s heart-pounding exciting, but then so is that first shot of Clorox. That’s the choice Glanville would have made.

  1. matches Kubes’ rhetoric…. it’s a smart move, and it’s gonna be fun to watch.

by Ezekiel 25 17 on Dec 1, 2011 10:50 AM CST reply actions  

Have fun on Easter Island!!!

I travel all over the damn place and that is one of the places that makes my bucket list. Make sure to get a picture of you in a Texans jersey or shirt in front of one of the Moai!!

Also I voted that I already love the Texans.

by WhiskeyR on Dec 1, 2011 11:16 AM CST reply actions  

This is the right attitude to have.

Texans have won 5 straight for the first time ever. Best start ever.
Injuries happen in the NFL. Constantly. Move on and everything from here on out is gravy.
Stop the crying.

"Fate seemed to be playing a series of extraordinarily unamusing jokes."- George Orwell, 1933, on being a Texans fan.

by Wario Millions on Dec 1, 2011 11:17 AM CST reply actions  

wow.............

- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.

"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers

by NoSafetiesNeeded on Dec 1, 2011 11:47 AM CST up reply actions  

I was reading an article this morning where Kentucky is the #3 ranked state for meth usage.

I am now certain that Tennessee holds one of the higher seeds.

"The best thing about being a cynic......is that you are never surprised." ~Anonymous

"Don't get yourself a bunch of tricky plays.......get yourself a bunch of tricky players." `Paul "Bear" Bryant

by Christopher H on Dec 1, 2011 11:58 AM CST up reply actions  

I just looked it up

They’re #3 in Meth Lab incidence, only behind Missouri and Illinois, before statistics are adjusted for population.

by T-Moar on Dec 1, 2011 4:40 PM CST up reply actions  

That does not change the fact that anyone in Tennessee

that thinks Frank Bush is the coaching hire of the year is on some serious drugs.

"The best thing about being a cynic......is that you are never surprised." ~Anonymous

"Don't get yourself a bunch of tricky plays.......get yourself a bunch of tricky players." `Paul "Bear" Bryant

by Christopher H on Dec 1, 2011 7:06 PM CST up reply actions  

SO the statistics just prove

That the Meth they use in Tenn comes from Kentucky

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell

by Barryfromtexas on Dec 1, 2011 10:23 PM CST up reply actions  

Rec'd

Because that quote is solid gold! I’m sure they would’ve preferred getting Gabbert instead of Locker as well

With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!

by RaY210 on Dec 1, 2011 11:59 AM CST up reply actions  

I don't understand why being a bad DC means one must be a bad position coach

does Wade being a bad head coach make him a bad DC? No.

Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride

by nolander on Dec 2, 2011 2:19 PM CST up reply actions  

They brought that up on No Huddle on the NFL Network

They basically said the offense is as inconsistent as it was under Wade Phillips, & they wondered how long it would take Jerry to figure out the root of the problem

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."

by The Night Owl on Dec 8, 2011 1:14 PM CST up reply actions  

Jerruh should fire his GM.

Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.

"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.

by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 9, 2011 3:46 PM CST up reply actions  

Easter Island??

Wow! Never even considered that as a honeymoon getaway. Always wanted to go there though.

I'm a man!! I'm forty!!

by Hydroshock on Dec 1, 2011 2:42 PM CST reply actions  

Hope your wife gets better!

I like the attitiude

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell

by Barryfromtexas on Dec 1, 2011 10:29 PM CST reply actions  

Wow - Sanders making excuses for VY already

/smh

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell

by Barryfromtexas on Dec 1, 2011 10:32 PM CST reply actions  

waitaminute

You took your wife to Easter Island for your honeymoon, she got an eye injury/ailment so severe that she had to go to the emergency room, and she still not only agrees to let you go to an internet cafe to follow the Texans but she went along with you?

I read your words but this doesn’t make sense. My head is about to asplode.

Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

-Orwell, Politics and the English Language

www.battleredblog.com

by tehGrindCrusher on Dec 1, 2011 11:41 PM CST via mobile reply actions  

Even better

The first thing we did when we got back is watch the game on replay.

by JMay on Dec 3, 2011 5:22 PM CST up reply actions  

my first love was the columbia blue, but that love passed away when she left me all alone

So I have a new love, being that miss columbia blue was so long ago, and crushed my spirit so many times. I do love these Texans more than any other sports franchise there is or was.

Beer, it's not just for breakfast anymore

by Chrxtopher on Dec 2, 2011 2:25 PM CST reply actions  

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