The Unbearable Powerfulness of Ranking (Part the Third)
by MDC on Nov 7, 2011 12:00 PM CST
in General BRB Idiocy
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PrintWe're just past the mid-way point of the 2011 season, so it's time to take a look at how the Texans rank vis-a-vis the other teams in the AFC South. As always, so we have some context for these rankings, we've included sixteen other items, people, and concepts.
If you are interested in how the teams ranked prior to the season, see here. If you are curious how everyone stacked up after four weeks, see here. If you want to see the current rankings, channel your inner Javier Sotomayor.
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1. The Houston Texans. Are your Texans the best team in the NFL? Probably not. (Actually, no. At least not right now.) But they are the best team in the AFC South, and it's not particularly close. By which I mean, 41-7. |
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2. Mila Kunis. The Alison Brie v. Mila Kunis debated raged for most of the summer in the Battle Red Bag, and a resolution was never really reached. In this situation, the only clear winners are us. |
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3. Wade Phillips. I'm trying to think of a non-sports equivalent of the turnaround Wade Phillips has brought to the Texans' defense. Best one I can give you is a hypothetical: if, shortly after the Titanic struck the iceberg, the captain of a different ship hurried to the scene, swam down into the boiler rooms, and repaired the 300 feet of damaged hull as if it was something he did every day, that would almost be as impressive as Wade's turnaround of the Texans' pass defense. |
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4. Dyer's Triple-Triple w/ Bacon. Look, I know you probably think that you know where the best burger in the whole world is. Unless your answer is Dyer's in Memphis, TN, you are unquestionably wrong. This is inarguable. |
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5. MS Paint Stu Scott. Yes, he appeared in the first rankings, coming in at number 8, but his fans have spoken. He is a poorly drawn force to be reckoned with. It's like he's staring into your soul. Well, with one of his eyes, anyway. |
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6. Smokey and the Bandit. Even ignoring that it's the greatest movie to ever star a basset hound, this movie is fantastic. And I can't count the number of times that I've claimed that anyone who would do X would "show up at a minister's funeral dressed in feathers." |
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7. The Collapse of the 2011 Boston Red Sox. Yes! Yesss! Oh, let me taste your tears, Scott! Mmm, your tears are so yummy and sweet! |
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8. The Chronic. Not as good as Doggystyle (there, I said it), but probably the most important rap album of the last 20 years. Plus, c'mon, how can you not like a line like "gettin' funky on the mic like an old batch of collard greens"? You can't, that's how! |
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9. Jeff Saturday. Having a solid season on a bad team. |
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10. Cake Batter Ice Cream. It's not terrible, but (unless you are my fairly strange wife) it's not your first choice when you desire some ice cream. It's a little cloying, but whatever. |
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11. The Cannonball Run. A funny enough movie, especially the scenes with Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr., but not even the best comedy of 1981 (that would be Stripes) and certainly not in the Top 10 Burt Reynolds movies (or in the top 10 of this list). |
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12. Dan Dierdorf. Because he's a Michigan man and one of the best offensive linemen in school history, I always feel a little weird ripping on him, but, man ... he's pretty hard to listen to. Maybe not as bad as Steve Tasker or John Lynch, but pretty damn bad. Just ask Mary O'Williams. |
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13.The Tennessee Titans. Imagine how much lower they'd be if I didn't like them so much, right Tim? But with their division record and lack of --- what's that called? oh, yeah, a quarterback --- #13 is as high as I can put them. (Also, again, 41-7.) |
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14. Balanoposthitis. I'm not going to say that you shouldn't Google a picture of this, but I am saying that you probably shouldn't do that if you plan to eat lunch today. |
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15. [Any prefix other than "Mar"]tinis. Look, a real martini is cool. You can tell this because James Bond drinks them. Anything else ending in "-tini" is terrible and lame. You can tell this because you are not an idiot. |
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16. The Jacksonville Jaguars. The only team in the league that has yet to score 100 total points on the season. But, hey, tell me again about how you can't wait for the rematch in a few weeks. |
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17. Smokey and the Bandit Part 3. Aside from a tiny cameo near the end, Burt Reynolds isn't even in this movie. It's like the movie version of the Dukes of Hazzard season that had Coy and Vance rather than Bo and Luke. Guh. |
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18. Nickelback. It's not that everything that comes out of Canada is bad. For example, Trivial Pursuit and basketball and Elisha Cuthbert are all fine things to import. Nickelback, on the other hand, are lumped in with poutine and Steven Cojocaru on the list of things that I wish Canada would keep entirely for themselves. |
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19. Colin Cowherd. Here's the script for every Cowherd opinion ever: 1. Take plausible position ("LSU is a good football team"). 2. Extrapolate an inane, monocausal reason for #1 ("Their fans really cheer them on"). 3. Cut off/talk down to anyone who calls in to point out other, more plausible explanations. |
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20. The Indianapolis Colts. In the "Suck for Luck" race, they've shown that they suck harder than the android child of Traci Lords and a Dyson DC25. |
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Comments
MS Paint Stu Scott
is criminally underrated.
God is not on our side because he hates idiots also.
by Meta Sandoval on Nov 7, 2011 12:03 PM CST reply actions 4 recs
Colin Cowherd
Almost as terrible as Skip Bayless
My thoughts are like Brian Cushing on the field: Everywhere.
by f22a4bandit on Nov 7, 2011 12:10 PM CST reply actions 6 recs
Newb rec
Welcome!
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
Sorry
I don’t catch them all.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
lol. I wasn't really serious.
Thanks
I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.
~Muhammad Ali
Thanks. I feel special in green.
I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.
~Muhammad Ali
The Army likes this
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 7, 2011 6:00 PM CST up reply actions
I really can’t stand Cowherd. Such a douche. Probably never had an original thought in his life that some frat guy hasn’t already said.
by Ryan81 on Nov 7, 2011 10:37 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Wade's Aid
Great Description. LuLz
Side note, What happend to Bacon?
The Texan Floater, you wanna flush it but you can't.
"Wade aid has lean in it, just saying"
Whitest Front Seven in Football.
Trying to mix it up each time
and not re-use anything. There was just a demand for the Stu Scott that had to be answered.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
I think bacon should be tied at #4
But since #4 had bacon in it, I’ll let it slide
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 7, 2011 1:08 PM CST up reply actions
Hypotheticals?
If the Colts were made of bacon, would they still suck? Would they win more games?
Could adding ‘tini to BESF – make me hate them more? BESFtini? CJ2Ktini?
If the Titanic were made of Wade’s defense…would the iceberg win? Or would it crack on the bridge of Cushing’s nose?
If the “boy’s were thirsty in Atlanta (when) there’s beer in Texarcana” could Blaine Gabbert sucessfully underhand toss a Lone Star to Mike Thomas?
"Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."
Bacon and the Colts
Coming out of lurk mode…
For the past hour I’ve been pondering the question of the Colts and bacon and decided there would be no way something as good as bacon would associate itself with the Colts.
by SeattleTexanFan on Nov 7, 2011 2:26 PM CST up reply actions 9 recs
Newb rec #2
Welcome!
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
Newbie rec
"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." -- Benjamin Disraeli
"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers." -- Homer Simpson
"There is no rehab for stupid." -- Chris Rock
Never try to baptize a cat.
A 2nd Texans fan in Seattle? We're building quite the base up there.
Welcome.
"Lord, beer me strength."
Proving my point from the 90's
That everything cool is in Seattle.
Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC
WADR, I think there are words missing from your reply
Can you finish the thought?
Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC
Seattle Needs a fanbase
Oustide of the Sounders anyway.
by SeattleTexanFan on Nov 7, 2011 3:07 PM CST up reply actions
Definitely not
a UT sockpuppet
I can just tell
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 7, 2011 6:02 PM CST up reply actions
I don't even wear pants,
What on earth makes you think I own socks, too?
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Nov 7, 2011 8:07 PM CST up reply actions
The colts would be turkey bacon
Looks like the delicious real thing – but then you realize it sucks.
I've got your non-sports reference to compare what Wade Phillips has done....
It’s very similar to what Gordon Bethune did for Continental Airlines in taking them from “Worst to First”. Before he turned them around, the company had the oldest fleet with non-matching passenger seats, crappy service, cancelled flights, and a horrible record for being late everywhere. Employees were hiding their uniforms under coats on the way to work to avoid embarrassment, mechanics would purposefully injure themselves by dropping equipment and tools on their feet to get sick pay, it was horrible.
In a remarkably short time frame, Gordon had elevated the company to the best on time performance and youngest fleet of any major airline. The book about it is an awesome read for any industry, and I look forward to reading Wade’s book when he gets someone to write it with him someday.
I've heard of Bethune.
I’ll give that one a read. Though, to Wade’s credit, he turned this shit around immediately. I bet it took Bethune a year or two. :)
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
It had to.....
because it would have taken that long just to get the airplanes ordered, built, delivered, and into service.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
I realize this.
I was being facetious.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
by MDC on Nov 7, 2011 8:17 PM CST up reply actions
The he retired
And it all ended. Continental began the long slide that has culminated in them merging with United, abandoning Texas and finding their resting place behind Delta in the suckiness sweepstakes.
Sigh. I loved them so, now I’d rather drive cross country. In a Smart ForTwo.
That was the shittiest thing to happen to Houston in a long time.
We’re about as close as it gets to all of Central America (other than perhaps Miami), yet it now costs about $750 to fly Houston to Costa Rica. Most of the time, you can find a similarly priced flight from DC or NYC.
Thanks, Continental. Enjoy your monopoly.
That cheeseburger is outta control!
But it’s from Tennessee… Nothing near H-town that comes close to the juicy goodness in that photo?
Swat and swim, dip and rip, twist and spin; just do whacha gotta do to light up that QB.
The Grim Burger
at Lankford Groc. in Houston is WAY up on the list.
And, while the burger is from Tennessee, at least it’s Memphis, which is a surprisingly fun town.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
More food should really use mac & cheese
as a topping.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
Go to "REEF" in mid-town Houston (McGowen & Travis) for some excellent seafood
and a fried mac & cheese side dish that will blow your mind! Brian Caswell is the owner/chef who also recently competed on “The Next Iron Chef” and made it to the top 5.
Pluckers in Austin
Has some pretty awesome fried mac & cheese. Gotta try your suggestion out next time I visit Houston.
My thoughts are like Brian Cushing on the field: Everywhere.
Thanks I'll check out Pluckers sometime. REEF also has incredible sliders and shrimp shooters
The sliders: The chef likes to serve his dinner roundeye steak trimmed to the eye, so he gathers all the crown meat and grinds it for the sliders…incredible flavor!
The shrimp or crab shooters: They strain fresh made cocktail sauce through cheese cloth and capture the clear liquid essence, then bring it to a boil with minced garlic and onion and serve it warm in a shot glass with a shrimp or crab lolipop. Outstanding way to start a meal! Eat the shrimp/crab, then drink the liquid.
If you prefer mussels for an app, they steam them in Shiner Bock with toasted ancho chilies and are out of this world.
If you want Caswell sliders, go to Little Bigs on Montrose
Good freaking stuff, and you can still support Caswell
Just your average, run of the mill hardcore casual Texans fan.
"Have you ever noticed that? We base our assessment of the intelligence of others almost entirely on how closely their thinking matches our own. I’m sure that there are people out there who violently disagree with me on most things, and I’m broad-minded enough to concede that they might possibly not be complete idiots, but I much prefer the company of people who agree with me."
Pluckers isn't bad
Their 5X wings are the hottest I’ve been able to find in town (that I don’t make for myself). I love it when the waitstaff warns me the wings are super hot. They’re cute that way.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
I have a wing sauce I make called
“Jesus! What the Hell are you trying to do to me!?”
Hope no one takes offense with the name, but it is what it is.
A cornucopia of wholesome goodness!
I worked with a Jamaican.....
that made this insane hot sauce that would nearly melt the glass bottle it was in. He told us he couldn’t put it in plastic containers because it would melt those. lulz I never tried it, but one guy in the shop did and knocked over three tables and half a dozen chairs trying to make it too the water fountain and then stood there for five minutes with his tongue hanging out and the cold water running over it trying to cool things down. lulz
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
I usually combine
A home made BBQ sauce and a fermented habanero mash sauce. Gives it great flavor and a lot of heat.
A cornucopia of wholesome goodness!
Curious
How do you ferment?
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
Here is a pretty good link
I think this is the one I started with:
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Habanero-Pepper-Mash
A cornucopia of wholesome goodness!
Way cool
I’ve never heard of this, much less done it. I’ve always made quick batches. I have a new project!
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
A goal over the holidays is to make a sauce using jolokias
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
Close
Habaneros haven’t been doing it lately. Also, I’m completely insane when it comes to eat. Worst (Best?) of all: my son is totally taking after me. We were eating cream cheese stuffed jalapenos I grilled yesterday, and he was keeping up with me. And they were hot for jalapenos (hotter than serranos. It was weird).
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
Have you got a hold
of a Butch T yet? Think it is Butch T Trinidad scorpion…
A cornucopia of wholesome goodness!
No
I was bugging the produce guy at the local hippie grocery store, and he ordered some jolokias special for me.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
Also
Since you’re fairly new here, this is required reading. There will be a quiz.
Well, crap, I can’t find MDC’s manifesto. The search isn’t working for me. I’ll need to find the link for you.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
okey doke
shoot it to me when you find it.
I am not good at tests, tho:( something about some meds I take. Or something.
A cornucopia of wholesome goodness!
Got it.
Right here. What can I say, it’s on the favorites list.
Thanks Nash
Nothing was coming up on search for me.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
Great read!
And right on point. I haven’t done a lot of BBQing in a while, but I completely agree with MDC. I have done a decent brine that seems to soak in some flavors, but I change it for what I might be scarring. Brined turkey is awesome for T-Day.
Bookmarked the BBQ read from MDC.
Thanks BFD, Nash.
A cornucopia of wholesome goodness!
I love brined turkey.
I really want to brine a brisket, but haven’t tried it yet.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
I have
Typically when I cook, I just make it up as I go and grab whatever’s in the fridge. I really wish I had a hard recipe for the last batch of rub I made. Watching my 8 yo son and 5 yo daughter tear through an entire pound of boneless/skinless thighs in less than 10 minutes is hilarious. I try to keep stuff like that simple, though.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
some folks strain yogurt
to get the whey and use it to help fermentation. I have always been a bit leery of that, tho.
A cornucopia of wholesome goodness!
That sounds familiar.
I think that’s what that stuff was made out of…..but that was over 15 years ago and I’ve slept a few times since then. lulz
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
There's a chain of wing places up in NJ that were outstanding called "Cluck-U"
Their “Thermo Nuclear” wings should require a liability release form. Their mid-range wings have great flavor and is well worth a stop if you travel there anytime.
Reef=best porkchop
Hands down, I have never eaten a better pork chop then at the Reef. I am a big fan of it, and frequent a lot, as I am always impressed with Brian’s work. This place IMO is severely underrated as one of the best in Houston. Good call MeMongo. Good call.
"I said 'That's not my dad, that's a cell phone!' and I threw that cell phone TO THE GROUND"
oh hell yeah, that Chop at Reef with the cherry mustard is off the hook!
As for ratings, it flies under the radar locally, but Bon Appetite gave them “Seafood Restaurant of the Year” a couple of years ago.
My favorite drink there is the “Blood Orange” (Italian blood orange juice with orange vodka)…might have to see if they’ll rename it “The Cush” after our great linebacker!
Lankford Grocery
Really been meaning to go there… I am super fond of Bubbas Burgers.
Swat and swim, dip and rip, twist and spin; just do whacha gotta do to light up that QB.
YESSSSSSSSSSS
Same here. Hate the crowded, gravely parking lot. But a Bison Burger with grilled jalapenos and grilled onions… Yum
Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.
-Catch 22-
Burger Guys
on Westheimer has the best burgers I’ve ever had. I can’t tell you how it compares to the TN burger (thankfully I’ve never found myself in that state) but I think it’s pretty fantastic by any standards. I love Lankford Grocery but Burger Guys is just a bit better.
God is not on our side because he hates idiots also.
by Meta Sandoval on Nov 7, 2011 12:23 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I will definitely try that next time I'm in Houston.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
You know, when you posted that burger from Memphis,
my first thought was, “I wonder how that compares to the burgers at Burger Guys.” Glad I’m not alone in loving the place. I always bring vendors that come to Houston from out of state there for lunch, and they always leave with food coma. One vendor said it was the highlight of his trip.
One of these days I’m gonna try the $35 burger.
Where on Westheimer?
Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.
-Catch 22-
God is not on our side because he hates idiots also.
by Meta Sandoval on Nov 7, 2011 2:18 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
I know where I'm going this weekend
Danke!
Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.
-Catch 22-
Rec'd.
In fact, maybe more than just “the best burger I’ve ever had”. Possibly the best meal I’ve ever had. Burgers have always been awesome, but Burger Guys elevates them to a new level. Actually cooking them like you want them, and such. Fries cooked in duck fat doesn’t hurt, either.
How awesome is it that the day after our Texans game we are embroiled in lavish food talk
and not F-bombing [insert targeted player/coach] for six days?!!!
I’m loving this season!!!
I don't know what to even talk about now.
Normally I just spend six days complaining about various things. I’m glad somebody put us onto burger talk.
How can you not like poutine?
Fries with gravy and cheese curds…what could be better? Unless you add bacon…mmm
Although my friend did once describe a poutine as potatoes cooked in fat, covered with fat, with fat on top…now that I think of it, that still sounds delicious
I think it's the brown gravy that gives me pause.
Either that or the fact that I’ve only tried to eat it when I was tremendously hungover and my stomach made me pay for that decision.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
The Indy Colts sure are trying hard for the Lucky Sweepstakes
and, the funny thing is, the team, their front office, their players all deny, deny, deny! Did I say funny? I meant sad but funny. No, sad but funny in a car wreck sort of way that involves a parked unmanned Prius and an 18-wheeler. Did I say the number 18?
I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.
Sad thing is they aren't trying for luck.
They legitimately can’t compete with anybody right now. Which is nothing new because everybody who watches football knew the Colts were nothing with Manning under center.
Prediction: 11-5 AFC South champions.
think you meant "without Manning under center"
really kinda sad to see a perennial 10-win team be winless after almost 10 games b/c they were missing 1 guy. I don’t care if your team is built around having that guy there, the rest of your team has to be total shit if one guy out of 22 starters can make that much of a difference.
by jkcheng122 on Nov 7, 2011 12:37 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
I'm still hoping a few teams force 3 wins on the Colts
and John Elway reaches over and trades up to get Luck. Would be good marketing for his Stanford alumni to Broncos reinforcement, and a safe bet for the next decade. I just can’t see Luck being a bust. Raiders gave up potentially two #1 picks for Palmer, so what would it take to bump up two or three spots to get Luck?
Skip Bayless couldn't be a bigger Cowboys homer.
Can’t even admit the Texans are better than the Cowboys right now.
Prediction: 11-5 AFC South champions.
Watching him love his Cowboys is almost as funny as his blind defense of Tebow and VY.
Prediction: 11-5 AFC South champions.
yeah, that was beyond homerism. didnt even make a argument
by Dmo_Htx on Nov 7, 2011 12:35 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
off topic but they actually gave some love to the texans on first take
Well, except the cowbitches lover
by Dmo_Htx on Nov 7, 2011 12:33 PM CST via mobile reply actions
Jemele Hill was right that the Texans at least deserves talk as one of the best in the AFC.
Of course Skip Bayless down playing Wade Phillips impact shows he’ still bitter about last season.
Prediction: 11-5 AFC South champions.
Agreed
Jemele probably watched the game while Skip was fapping to a picture of Romo during the Seahawks game. You know a team is bad when the Seahawks are giving you a run for your money.
My thoughts are like Brian Cushing on the field: Everywhere.
Well
There goes me making a reference to Javier Sotomayor for my next piece.
Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
-Orwell, Politics and the English Language
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Nov 7, 2011 12:42 PM CST via mobile reply actions
Rankings suggestions...
18) Life, The Universe, Everything
19) The Colts
20) Nickleback
Just a suggestion. And it’s good seeing MS Paint SS getting the recognition he deserves after a great season so far…
Nickelback should be below the Colts...
You cant help but feel a little tinge of pity for Indy. You CANNOT say that about Nickelback. Ask Detroit fans.
Swat and swim, dip and rip, twist and spin; just do whacha gotta do to light up that QB.
Flagged
How dare you feel any pity what-so-ever for the Colts. A slight twinge of empathy is acceptable for the Colt fans in our basement, but NO FUCKING PITY allowed. I’m enjoying every minute of their pain; licking every one of their salty tears. For all those years of being taken to the wood shed, we were never as bad as the 2011 Colts. Fuck ’em with a horse shoe.
Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC
by Lone Spot on Nov 7, 2011 11:29 PM CST up reply actions 4 recs
I don't think the Colts deserve any pity
However, Nickelback is horrible enough that they should be ranked below the Colts
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 7, 2011 11:37 PM CST up reply actions
When someone
takes the same song and just rewrites lyrics, they are geniuses at being shitty and making stupid kids pay for their music!
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
Can't take too much joy though.
They suck bad enough, they’ll end up with Andrew Luck. We don’t need another 15 or so years of good QB play for the Colts.
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Nov 7, 2011 11:37 PM CST up reply actions
Wouldn't that be something...
if Nickleback ended up with Andrew Luck instead of the Colts?
It would only make Nickleback be better than the Colts, but that’s still improvement!!!
I'm going to safely assume the Traci Lords reference is for me
I had the Penthouse she was in, in mint condition, but somebody stole it from me in college.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
I'm surprised Chick Fil-A Spicy Chicken Biscuit w/ Egg & Chick Fil-A's Buffalo Sauce wasn't up on this list after last week's discussion
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
I'm surprised it made the list that one time
Except, it gave me images of MDC holding a chicken sandwich in one hand and a screwdriver in the other as he bonked his wife on the living room floor while running Texans plays back on the DVR.
I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.
by Rip Jersey on Nov 7, 2011 1:48 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Dear Mrs. MDC (aka LB)
I know you’re a frequent lurker, so I apologize for having read this ^.
YIC,
LS
Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC
by Lone Spot on Nov 7, 2011 2:52 PM CST up reply actions 7 recs
AAAAAA++++++
Would read again.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
Yeh, she'll be asking for some more replays later....
I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.
Rec'ed for Yours in Christ
Still the best way to end a response to hatemail.
by Tailgate Andy on Nov 7, 2011 3:19 PM CST up reply actions
I wonder if Terri Stevens felt the same way?
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
by MDC on Nov 7, 2011 3:32 PM CST up reply actions 6 recs
Huh. We're all going to hell.
Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC
Did you call Terri Stevens an elephant?
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Nov 7, 2011 4:37 PM CST up reply actions 5 recs
'Specially her.
What with leaving the paralyzed husband and all.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
by MDC on Nov 7, 2011 8:20 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
Most likely
but that’s just because cirrhosis trumps being a heartless harpy.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
I really wish I knew where this came from
I never heard that part of his story until I started coming to BRB and have seen it mentioned several times, but I’ve searched all morning and can’t find anything about it. The one article that mentioned his divorce eluded to it happening before he had his accident.
help?
I'm a man!! I'm forty!!
Rec'd
I bet you that Matt Stevens can cover more ground now more than he ever did before!
/punches his own ticket to hell
Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.
-Catch 22-
Oh yeah,
too excited to take that cheap shot and ended up using the word more “twice” in the same sentence.
Don’t care. Was worth it.
Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.
-Catch 22-
In your imagination, I apparently have at least three arms.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
by MDC on Nov 7, 2011 3:08 PM CST up reply actions
Well, maybe you need to use your imagination....
I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.
I'm intrigued.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
If I can hold a sandwich, a drink, or a remote control with it...
it’s impressive no matter how you label it.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
by MDC on Nov 7, 2011 3:32 PM CST up reply actions
Lol
Oh god, Rip, we are back to MDC and his carnal pleasure while watching Foster run!
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
Cheese on a sandwich ain't my thing, so I'll take your word on it
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 7, 2011 11:39 PM CST up reply actions
how is that even allowed to exist?
who doesn’t like cheese on a sandwich?
by Travis Roggatz on Nov 7, 2011 11:49 PM CST up reply actions
Me, I prefer it only on pizza & breadsticks
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 8, 2011 12:00 AM CST up reply actions
Your Welcome
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 8, 2011 11:24 AM CST up reply actions
Love the breakdowns, never been to memphis so I can't compare but
for me Sam’s Deli is the best burger in Houston. They started off old katy road in a tiny place next to a swimco? but moved over to Kirkwood and I-10 about 5 years ago. Awesome burgers, seasoned fries, old school malts and eating contests, Man love that place. Also is MS Paint SS gonna get his own catchphrase that makes people hate him like the real SS, cause I would really like to hear that.
off topic
shock(tate) and aww(foster)
love it or hate it? thunder and lightning is played out. plus there both kinda thunder and lightning individually. opinions?
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
Don't hate it, but don't like it either.
Kinda like Beauty (Foster’s running style) and the Beast (Tate’s running style).
dammit...that is good.either way either way
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
by F-BombTheJets on Nov 7, 2011 1:32 PM CST up reply actions
Agreed
Power-Man and Iron Fist
B-B-B-Budha and the Jets
Pterodyctal and the Raptor
Couple of bad ass 1000 yard running backs for the Houston Texans
"Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."
b -b-b-buddha and the jets is funny but JETS...ugh. i like the dinosaur one tho
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
by F-BombTheJets on Nov 7, 2011 1:44 PM CST up reply actions
Pterodactyl and Raptor
would be awesome, but I like the Barian Fostate Check your periodic Tables for this volatile element!
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
I was thinking ...
Buddha and the Bomb.
It's Jacoby Jones Time!
by kurtie! on Nov 7, 2011 1:37 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
i see where ur going with that. how bout sumthing like war and peace or heaven and hell
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
by F-BombTheJets on Nov 7, 2011 1:41 PM CST up reply actions
hahaha ya thats nice. that might b it.
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
by F-BombTheJets on Nov 7, 2011 1:45 PM CST up reply actions
I like Shock and Aww.
and the clouds opened up and God said "I Hate you Texans Fans."
Our Andre, who art from Heaven, hallowed by thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Canton.
i cant lie. i really do too. crap, we need a poll
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
by F-BombTheJets on Nov 7, 2011 1:48 PM CST up reply actions
Love and Hate
Let me tell you the story of two running styles. It’s a tale of Love and Hate. Hate (Tate) it was with this style that the Texans first iced their opponents. Love (Arian): this style goes straight to the soul of a defense. The story of the run game is this: static. Both styles had been catching opposing defenses off-guard; and the Hate starts off the season and is kicking much ass; I mean it looks as though Love isn’t needed, but hold on stop the presses, Love comes back! Yeah they got opposing defenses on the ropes, now that’s right! Oooh it’s a one two-punch. Hate is hurting em and casuing much havoc ! But it’s the Love that has that really wears on the opposition…..The Defense KOed by Love. [An interpolation of a Radio Raheem quote form the movie, “Do The Right Thing”]
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Never argue with Idiots. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience!
To do is to be. (Descartes)
To be is to do. (Voltaire)
Do be do be do. (Sinatra)
by TXinCA on Nov 7, 2011 2:44 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
lmao.im not sure what u were talking bout most the time but i loved the parts i did.
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
by F-BombTheJets on Nov 7, 2011 2:48 PM CST up reply actions
i read it again and that is pretty tight. took me two times but ya thats good
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
by F-BombTheJets on Nov 7, 2011 2:50 PM CST up reply actions
Lol....
You kinda have to know the movie to REALLY get the context: In the movie Radio Raheem wears on both hands four-finger brass knuckle rings one reading Love on the right hand and Hate on the left. He then describes the war between love and hate and even throws in some biblical analogy, with Cain slaying Able with his left hand
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Never argue with Idiots. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience!
To do is to be. (Descartes)
To be is to do. (Voltaire)
Do be do be do. (Sinatra)
lol sounds funny. ima check it out
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
by F-BombTheJets on Nov 7, 2011 3:02 PM CST up reply actions
Sweet 'n' Sour
Also, referring to running styles.
Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC
their
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
"Bert "Reynolds?
That’s inexcusable. I’m sorry sir, but I’m gonna have to commandeer your SBnation account. Oh, I’m commandeering your air boat too.
Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.
-Catch 22-
He was briefly married to "Ernie" Anderson
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
Shit!
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
by MDC on Nov 7, 2011 2:39 PM CST up reply actions
The Colts are better than Cowherd.
But Cowherd’s not anywhere near as turrible as Skip Bayless, professional troll.
"Lord, beer me strength."
by TexansDC on Nov 7, 2011 1:59 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
ha
great article! band wasnt so awful
All I want to do is FAAAARRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMM!!!....and COok.
by Mellowcheese on Nov 7, 2011 2:02 PM CST via mobile reply actions
looks like i need to get off my butt and go on a burger journey
looks like i need to finally go to lankford and i need to get over to burger guys as well. Anywhere else?
my grandma makes a dam good burger. she lives in Bacliff. her names carolynn.shes a nice lady.
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
by F-BombTheJets on Nov 7, 2011 2:19 PM CST up reply actions
With a juicy
burger
"Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."
hahahaha...shut the fuck up!!! lol im joking, but seriously carolynn crenshaw is a saint so shut the fuck up.
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
by F-BombTheJets on Nov 7, 2011 2:33 PM CST up reply actions
That was funny.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
Sorry F-Bomb...
Being 6 and 3 has changed me. Absolute power really does corrupt absoluetly. I’m morphing into a Chiefs fan. If we run the table this season…I might start babbling about my FIVE RINGS!!
"Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."
completly justified, all is good
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
by F-BombTheJets on Nov 7, 2011 2:52 PM CST up reply actions
if she would make me a burger
I would drive out there from Baytown
by TiEaB on Nov 7, 2011 8:35 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
I actually think the Lankford burger is a bit overrated.
It is quite good, mind you, but not what all the raving is about. Lankford’s Wednesday Beef Enchilada special kicks serious, serious ass though.
As a high jumper
I greatly respect the Javier Sotomayor reference.
by splanket on Nov 7, 2011 2:27 PM CST via mobile reply actions
Wu Tang Clan-"Enter the Wu Tang (36 Chambers)"
This album slayer “The Chronic” (and “Doggystyle”). Fact of life.
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Nov 7, 2011 2:27 PM CST via mobile reply actions
*slays, not slayer. But I’ll take “Reign in Blood” over most albums, too.
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Nov 7, 2011 2:28 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
2Pac's Me Against the World
Nuff’ said
by TheDream34 on Nov 7, 2011 2:44 PM CST via mobile reply actions 1 recs
Nothing beats Beastie Boys' "Ill Communication"
/suburban white boys FTMFW!!!
Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC
"Ill Communication" is awesome, indeed.
But I prefer “Paul’s Boutique”.
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Nov 7, 2011 3:11 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Spoken like a true BB hipster.
Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC
I calls 'em like I sees 'em.
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Nov 7, 2011 4:26 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
"It Takes A Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back"
Is also acceptable. As is “Straight Outta Compton.” And “People’s Instinctive Travels And The Paths of Rhythm.” I suppose these aren’t exactly in the last twenty years, but they’re close. If you want to be strict about the whole last twenty years thing, then I would consider “Illmatic” and “Aquemini” to be up there as well. Oh, and “The Infamous…”
Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
-Orwell, Politics and the English Language
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Nov 8, 2011 4:52 AM CST up reply actions
And two...
Top 10 running backs…and a 2 game lead in our division…and 3-0 in our division. And if you had told me prior to the season that we would be HERE…without ’Dre and Mario…I would have never, ever believed you. Today is a great day to be a Texans fan. I could get used to feeling like this every Monday.
I’d like to buy everyone here a drink. Cheers.
"Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."
//rubs belly//
I am NOT a cheap date.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
We're all going to...
F-Bombs’ grandma’s.
"Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."
she is also not a cheap date. fuck it lets do it...shes gunna b so mad at me
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
by F-BombTheJets on Nov 7, 2011 3:26 PM CST up reply actions
Let's all go to Bacliff
Dickinson’s Jersey Shore.
Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC
kinda only without sum of the stupid shit but then twice the amount of otha stupidshit. if u follow.
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
by F-BombTheJets on Nov 7, 2011 4:40 PM CST up reply actions
As a Dickinson native, I do follow
//considers lying about this in the future
Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC
oh yeah? i grew up in bacliff but i moved to dickinson bout 6 months ago. i stay off of hughes rd.
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
by F-BombTheJets on Nov 7, 2011 5:39 PM CST up reply actions
Lived most of my first 19 years across from the high school
Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC
Did somebody offer belly-rubbins?
/is a cheap date
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
Make me wonder why we were all bitching after the Oakland loss.
Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
-Orwell, Politics and the English Language
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Nov 8, 2011 4:52 AM CST up reply actions
Don't shoot the messenger...
Bo$$man asked me to send his kindest regards and to tell everyone he still visits BRB daily. He misses us all(I added that part, but I think he does). And he correctly called that we’d have a #1 defense at some point in the season.
He’s over on PK’s blog if you want to chat with him.
/makes a note to avoid ESPN's blog comments
"Lord, beer me strength."
by TexansDC on Nov 7, 2011 2:52 PM CST up reply actions 6 recs
lol
Im looking for divine and a lttle intervention
And birds dont fly without my permission
Im prolly in the sky, flyin with the fishes
Or maybe in the ocean, swimmin with the pigeons
See my world is different, like Dwayne Wayne
And if you want problem Bit#h, i want the same thang
by F-BombTheJets on Nov 7, 2011 2:55 PM CST up reply actions
I've seen Bo$$man post on the Yahoo! NFL pages from time to time.
It’s sighting a mythic beast, before he returns into the mist from whence he came.
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Nov 7, 2011 3:14 PM CST via mobile up reply actions 3 recs
Bo$$man
The Questing Beast of BRB.
Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
-Orwell, Politics and the English Language
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Nov 8, 2011 4:53 AM CST up reply actions 3 recs
Bennprince
or whatever his name was is on there as well talking about how BRB bans people who don’t agree with them. Lulz
"Never underestimate the dumb with JJ" - Hugh Jarce
by Mumford on Nov 7, 2011 6:00 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Speaking of Rankings
Check out the playoff rankings
http://www.nfl.com/news/story/09000d5d81c2d42c/article/playoff-picture-2011?module=HP11_content_stream
Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!
by MeSoLongHorny on Nov 7, 2011 3:33 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
I came.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
by MDC on Nov 7, 2011 3:35 PM CST up reply actions
Man, When the season started,
we were hoping to make the playoffs. But a first round bye? Wow! Granted there are a lot more games to be played, but we control our own destiny.
Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!
by MeSoLongHorny on Nov 7, 2011 3:38 PM CST up reply actions
A small part of me would rather have the 3-seed...
Getting a worse team at home in the first round of the playoffs would dramatically increase our chances of winning a playoff game.
I've been debating with myself about this
cause my friends are all douchey Raven, Cowboy, and Steeler fans and won’t discuss such matters with clearly superior intellects such as myself and all most others here on BRB. (I know, now that I type that out loud, I’m reconsidering such friendships…)
But I’ve been debating whether a playoff game would help keep the game rhythm we seem to fall out of sometimes, or a bye to keep our players (mainly AJ/the Tatetalitarian (sp? btw whoever came up with that name… awesome) regime/Manning/Joseph) healthy.
Good point
but I don’t want to see our team’s caliber notch down on that game and allow complacency to creep back in for an ass whipping the following week.
I’d rather they show up to their first playoff game and put everything on the field and over deliver.
I'd rather be one step further in the playoffs by default.
I want to make it to, and win, the super bowl. I think Texans v. Packers is a real possibility.
Best part
no Jest!
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 7, 2011 6:15 PM CST up reply actions
Sweet
I totally had the Texans, Bengals and 49ers with first round byes in my preseason projections.
I just didn’t post them.
LOL.
Care to post your Super Bowl Projections now?
Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!
by MeSoLongHorny on Nov 7, 2011 3:40 PM CST up reply actions
He'll get those to you
in mid-February.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
by MDC on Nov 7, 2011 3:40 PM CST up reply actions
Obligatory pics or it didn't happen.
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Nov 7, 2011 3:57 PM CST up reply actions
Are you talking to MDC above?
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
Haha
Titan fan on there posting how the Texans wont even make the playoffs and they will be replaced by the BESFs. Meth is a hell of a drug….
"Never underestimate the dumb with JJ" - Hugh Jarce
I wouldnt be surprised if they lost their next 5.
@ Carolina, @ ATL, vs. Tampa Bay, @Buffalo, vs. New Orleans
I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.
~Muhammad Ali
I don't know about anyone else
But does it seem weird to anyone else seeing the possibility of the Texans, Bengals, & 49ers with 1st round byes & Detroit in the playoffs as well?
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 7, 2011 11:50 PM CST up reply actions
I blame aliens.
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Nov 8, 2011 12:04 AM CST up reply actions
Mila rocks!
But she’s no Alison Brie:
Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC
by Lone Spot on Nov 7, 2011 5:21 PM CST up reply actions 5 recs
She doesn't even come close to Mila. Shame on you.
Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.
-Catch 22-
by Jordann on Nov 7, 2011 6:33 PM CST up reply actions 6 recs
Can't fantasize about her,
without visions of Meg “Boner Killer” Griffin ruining everything.
Blind fandom is all I got left.
"Down to clown with some other chick's lady bits" ~ MDC
Yet neither one compares to Christina Hendricks
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 7, 2011 11:57 PM CST up reply actions
Correct - because they are both hotter.
And this is coming from someone who places far more value on redheads than brunettes.
Hendricks is extremely hot, she’s just not as ridiculously hot as Mila, whose personality jumps her from a 10 to a 20.
by WhiskeyR on Nov 8, 2011 7:02 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Yeah, but she seems far more annoying than Christina Hendricks to me
Which cancels out some of her hotness to me. Besides, there’s a number of other girls I can put ahead of Mila like for instance:
and
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 8, 2011 11:37 AM CST up reply actions
Neither of them beat out Mila to me.
Especially not Alyson Hannigan. But I’d do her.
I love redheads, they’re my favorite. But the only who comes close to Mila for me is Isla Fisher.
by WhiskeyR on Nov 8, 2011 11:52 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I'll agree to that, but there's one major knock on her
She married Borat
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 8, 2011 12:06 PM CST up reply actions
That still blows my mind
but having terrible taste in men is something I look for in a woman. Its my only chance!
I'd say Christina's taste in men is worse. At least Isla's husband gets more work
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 8, 2011 12:20 PM CST up reply actions
Which Chic Gets more Votes
REC OFF
The Texan Floater, you wanna flush it but you can't.
"Wade aid has lean in it, just saying"
Whitest Front Seven in Football.
I'm with Lone Spot.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
by MDC on Nov 7, 2011 8:21 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
You guys need to expand your horizons
It’s the same chicks all the time with y’all. I mean, why limit your selection???
I'm a man!! I'm forty!!
No no no
Those are the FAVORITES. You know, the Arian Fosters and Andre Johnsons of hot chicks.
That doesn’t mean we don’t like the Joel Dreessens of the world for consistent TDs…
I am expanding my horizons. Let me show you a few others of my favorites
And one of my favorite scence with her http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tlClhFxfoQ
There’s also Ivonne Montero
And Marlene Favela
And Keyna Mori
and my favorite episode with her from “Decisiones” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Qy4iEk9X7w
Also, did I mention her sister Barbara Mori was pretty hot too?
You gotta love Telemundo & Mun2, the next best thing to Showtime & Cinemax
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 8, 2011 12:03 PM CST up reply actions
Don't for about my mechanic
Jessica Burciaga
I break my car so she can fix it
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
by Barryfromtexas on Nov 8, 2011 12:27 PM CST up reply actions
All of a sudden, my car is having problems
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 8, 2011 12:34 PM CST up reply actions
Teh Shuab
Schaub was a perfect 31-for-31 in handoffs to Arian Foster and Ben Tate.
I love this stat
The Texan Floater, you wanna flush it but you can't.
"Wade aid has lean in it, just saying"
Whitest Front Seven in Football.
by WreckNTexan on Nov 7, 2011 5:10 PM CST reply actions 8 recs
I was underwhelmed by Smokey and the Bandit as a movie...
But I’ll allow it a top-ten berth if only because of Jerry Reed (though more for the song “Eastbound and Down” than his acting performance). In fact, if the man himself were on the power rankings, he’d be a making a strong push for #1.
“She Got the Goldmine, I Got the Shaft”? Brilliant. “When You’re Hot, You’re Hot”? Mozart couldn’t have crafted a more beautiful melody. Jerry fucking Reed. Godly.
by Nashmeister on Nov 7, 2011 5:11 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
Wrecked....
because I also believe Jerry Reed was underrated. lulz
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
Whoa, dude.
I love Jerry Reed, but how can you not love Smokey and the Bandit if for no other reason than Sheriff Buford T. Justice?
“Give me a diablo sandwich and a Dr. Pepper, and make it quick, ‘cause I’m in a goddamned hurry.”
“The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane to the situation.”
“The goddamned Germans got nuthin’ to do with it!”
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
by MDC on Nov 7, 2011 8:25 PM CST up reply actions
Oh, pardon me. For some reason you sounded a little taller on radio.
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Nov 7, 2011 8:45 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
When I get home I'm gonna.....
punch yo mamma right in the mouth…..there ain’t no way you came from my loins!
Or something like that. Been too long since I saw it last. Ex got that in the divorce.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
Or his most used quote
“There is no way you came from my loins”
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Nov 8, 2011 12:00 AM CST up reply actions
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