Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Texans-Panthers
by Tim on Dec 16, 2011 3:00 PM CST
in Three And Out
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PrintI'm going to get this post up quickly before news breaks of Rick Dennison contracting Ebola, or Brian Cushing getting yellow fever, or Marc Vandermeer coming down with a case of typhus, or whatever biblical plague will next be visited upon those connected to the local football team. The predictions that appear after the jump are only good as long as those involved are actually healthy enough to play on Sunday when the Panthers visit the 2011 AFC South Champions at Reliant Stadium.
Which is to say that they are probably already worthless. Well, they were always worthless, so now they're probably worthlesser. Jump, friends!
1. The absence of Wade Phillips matters. I know Wade installed the game plan, but we will feel the effect of living in a Wadeless world. Maybe not in the first half, but in the second half, should the Panthers manage to keep it close in the opening stanza (and I believe they will, thanks to a Cam Newton rushing TD on a busted play). One of the highly underrated facets of Wade's excellence is his ability to adjust at halftime; you saw it last week in Cincinnati, when the Texans rendered Cedric Benson a total non-factor after the break. As much as we love Wade Phillips, we will love him even more after this week. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that jazz.
2. You know all about Carolina's run defense, so it's hardly a bold prediction for me to say that Arian Foster and Ben Tate will combine for 179 rushing yards and two TDs. Thus, I shall reveal my boldness via this prediction of the passing game: Owen Daniels narrowly misses his second consecutive 100 yard receiving day of the season, catching seven balls for 93 yards; those numbers will make him the leading receiver in the entire game.
3. Yes, I said entire game, because I do believe that Johnathan Joseph will bottle up Steve Smith. Joseph will pick Newton off on one such pass intended for Smith, and Smith will finish with five catches for 63 yards.
PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: This game screams TRAP, doesn't it? The Texans are missing their brilliant defensive coordinator, Cam Newton's a wild card, the Texans could be primed for a letdown after clinching the first division title/playoff berth in franchise history, the continuity on the OL has been disrupted with Mike Brisiel's injury...it reeks of an upset. And yet, I cannot pick against this team. They continue to defy the odds. Texans 23, Panthers 20.
Panthers vs Texans coverage
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Can't Wade make a friendly phone call to the locker room during the half?
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 16, 2011 3:06 PM CST reply actions
Demeco is gonna leave a serious smudge on Cam's chest........
muwahahahahaaaa…….
redskins- bought by Snyder, OWNED by THE Cowboys !
Ryan- If only i could get that kind of aggression from my. Hey! You gonna eat that ?
Texans .....stand tall and REP !
yeh...
I see Wade in bed talking to Demeco Ryans lol
All I want to do is FAAAARRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMM!!!....and COok.
That mental image will haunt me at the Christmas party tonight.
Thanks.
by FreedomRide on Dec 16, 2011 3:13 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Hope for an open bar.
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Dec 16, 2011 5:53 PM CST up reply actions
I hope for that every day of my life
everywhere that I go.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
by MDC on Dec 16, 2011 10:31 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Life is so much better with hope :)
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 16, 2011 10:32 PM CST up reply actions
You have created a horrible image in my mind now
stop feeding meco chocolate strawberries wade stop it!
"San Antonio is the best falling down team in the league"- Bill Worrell
by TheLastDynasty on Dec 16, 2011 8:30 PM CST up reply actions
And yet...you're only making it worse.
Besides, it’s probably Cushing he’s feeding them to, anyway.
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Dec 16, 2011 8:41 PM CST up reply actions
No way
it will be that close. Texans are due for a beatdown on somebody and the unlucky Panthers will have to do. I see the Texans moving the ball with ease and the D containing Newton. 30-13.
I was about to predict close game
Then I must of had the exact thought you had.
Because I also believe Texans score early, and D allows a short field to put the game out early.
Wade will be missed by not needed.
Division Champion Houston Texans
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
The next time I read about our 3rd string QB, I might just Choke a Bitch.
2-0 Starting Rookie QB, get it right.
Pfttt
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 16, 2011 8:20 PM CST up reply actions
They have to get Wade a closed circuit feed to his bed.
They have to. No, seriously. Come on man. Just fucking do it.
I had a dream. In that dream I saw a multitude of screaming people on Richmond. I saw Kubiak laughing. I saw Andre Johnson pouring champagne from a trophy on to Brian Cushings head. What does it mean?
Yah. Kubes has to have a plan for wiring Wade into the action, especially for halftime.
….it’s not like he had brain surgery…
by Ezekiel 25 17 on Dec 16, 2011 4:30 PM CST up reply actions
Houston 31 Carolina 13
Texans have 3+ Take aways, INT Goes to Manning
Texans will keep Panthers under 300 total yards
Yates ends up with 225 2 TD
Foster has 2 TD’s 1Rushing 1 Receiving.
Foster hits the century mark, and Tate gets 60+ & 1TD
Joel gets another offer of sticking it anywhere with 1 TD
Division Champion Houston Texans
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
The next time I read about our 3rd string QB, I might just Choke a Bitch.
2-0 Starting Rookie QB, get it right.
If our Goddess is up there
New England and Baltimore lose this week. We win and all the planets align.
I had a dream. In that dream I saw a multitude of screaming people on Richmond. I saw Kubiak laughing. I saw Andre Johnson pouring champagne from a trophy on to Brian Cushings head. What does it mean?
somebody get that man a smartphone and a TV....
he can tweet his adjustments at halftime.
Michael: The feeling that you're feeling is what many of us call...a feeling.
Gob: It's not like envy, or even hungry...
Good news!
Some folks got together and assembled technology to allow Wade to manage the defense from his bedside.
Kubiak: "The hand gestures I'm getting as I drive around town are a lot better this year than in previous seasons."
by MeMongo on Dec 16, 2011 4:02 PM CST reply actions 21 recs
Well done.
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 16, 2011 4:05 PM CST up reply actions
Awesome!
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Dec 16, 2011 4:11 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
LOL !!!
MeMongo!! I love it!!
Guardian of the Gate to La La Land!
Gonsoulin, Taylor, Wright, Gradishar, Atwater, and Davis.....
Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.
Brilliant!
Now if I could only get this for when I play Madden
/God, I suck at Madden
//Rivers can attest to this
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Dec 16, 2011 5:54 PM CST up reply actions
No, but back in the August BRBPalooza/Madden Tournament, Rivers and I played Madden just for shits and giggles.
Let’s just say I somehow managed to make the Seahawks quarterback even worse than he already is.
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Dec 16, 2011 8:42 PM CST up reply actions
Exactly my point.
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Dec 16, 2011 9:11 PM CST up reply actions
Ouch.
Author at Acme Packing Company, a Green Bay Packers blog, and Editor at BT Powerhouse, a Big Ten Basketball blog
Whatever holds the image of an angel IS an angel. The eyes are not the windows of the soul, they are the doors.
Yes, I am on twitter.
by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Dec 16, 2011 11:30 PM CST up reply actions
Well, I kicked a lot of ass with Oakland
and won the whole tourney
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Dec 17, 2011 12:25 AM CST up reply actions
LMAO
Genius. Still laughing.
"The best thing about being a cynic......is that you are never surprised." ~Anonymous
"Don't get yourself a bunch of tricky plays.......get yourself a bunch of tricky players." `Paul "Bear" Bryant
Eat me, David Stern.
by Christopher H on Dec 16, 2011 8:13 PM CST up reply actions
I am not sure what auto-sack is
But I think it worked in the Jags game
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 16, 2011 8:22 PM CST up reply actions
got to get me one of those........
redskins- bought by Snyder, OWNED by THE Cowboys !
Ryan- If only i could get that kind of aggression from my. Hey! You gonna eat that ?
Texans .....stand tall and REP !
That's fucking awesome!
Swat and swim, dip and rip, twist and spin; just do whacha gotta do to light up that QB.
I think this might be a close one.
Foster and Tate will get plenty of yards on the ground, and the defense should keep it from getting out of hand. But it won’t surprise me at all if Cam Newton puts up some huge numbers. With all of this Tebow knob-slobbing, Newton’s monster rookie season is getting overlooked.
I still think Houston wins, but I don’t think it’ll be a blowout.
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Dec 16, 2011 4:10 PM CST via mobile reply actions
I hope you guys win!
Because I’m afraid Tebowmania comes to a end this weekend in Denver…
…and both my teams losing would really be depressing!
So let’s hope Wade’s plan works and he is watching from the hospital to help out in the second half.
My prediction for your team:
Texans 27 … Cam 17
My prediction for Denver:
With all the publicity I hope we pull out a miracle or at the very least don’t get embarrassed.
Guardian of the Gate to La La Land!
Gonsoulin, Taylor, Wright, Gradishar, Atwater, and Davis.....
Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.
Everyone in Houston will
be pulling for the Tebowmania to continue for one more week, If the Tebows beat the Pats, the Texans have a good shot at locking up a first round bye.
by Bobbythegreat on Dec 16, 2011 5:01 PM CST up reply actions
Thanks!! We'll need a lot of 'pulling-for' I fear.
Just a gut feeling I can’t shake…
…I really hope I’m wrong and hope for some reason Tebow gets unleashed early…
Guardian of the Gate to La La Land!
Gonsoulin, Taylor, Wright, Gradishar, Atwater, and Davis.....
Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.
Have faith my brother.
Their defense has more holes than Swiss cheese. I’m pulling for them.
I had a dream. In that dream I saw a multitude of screaming people on Richmond. I saw Kubiak laughing. I saw Andre Johnson pouring champagne from a trophy on to Brian Cushings head. What does it mean?
Thanks turtx
I think we’re going to need it
Guardian of the Gate to La La Land!
Gonsoulin, Taylor, Wright, Gradishar, Atwater, and Davis.....
Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.
Denver will win.
I’m calling it right now. Tebow mania will reach its quivering peak in the coming week. Tebow will lose the following week, but this week belongs to the Broncos. Mostly Tebow.
I think we can...but bad 'gut-feelingd' are so often true
Guardian of the Gate to La La Land!
Gonsoulin, Taylor, Wright, Gradishar, Atwater, and Davis.....
Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.
I'm not a big Tebow fan, mostly because of how everyone just fawns on him.
But Sunday, I’ll be hoping he can take down the Pats. We could really use the assist.
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Dec 16, 2011 8:44 PM CST up reply actions
from behind the Evil Empire's inner sanctum door...
http://www.metro.us/boston/sports/article/1051932—afc-playoff-slots-on-line-in-denver
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
that article
didn’t seem to have too much faith in the Patriots
Division Champion Houston Texans
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
The next time I read about our 3rd string QB, I might just Choke a Bitch.
2-0 Starting Rookie QB, get it right.
That was may perception also.
The author didn’t rah rah the Pats anywhere near to the degree I expected. Apparently there is a little lingering doubt in Boston that they may get Tebowed.
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
Denver's D > Pat's O (in Denver)
Tebow > Pat’s D
nuff said
Swat and swim, dip and rip, twist and spin; just do whacha gotta do to light up that QB.
This is going to be a fun one to watch
10003 to 9073, Texans win
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
This could be a good game
I’m seeing 28-17. Foster gets two scores, Tate gets one. Yates to Jacoby for the other score. Cam puts up 265 and 2 Td’s but gets picked off 3 times and sacked 5 times.
Madame de Staël once said, "One must choose in life between boredom and suffering." De Staël is dead but there is always an alternative.
This is where the cool is.
Rec'd
for Always Sunny reference. Next, you have to work in a reference to how your primary practice is in bird law.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
by MDC on Dec 16, 2011 5:04 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Click On The "Wild Card" Link
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
by Tim on Dec 16, 2011 9:56 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Thank You
I was perturbed it took that long for someone to catch it.
Last night’s episode—the final five minutes especially—was unreal. I was crying from laughing so hard.
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
by Tim on Dec 16, 2011 9:56 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
When they cut to what was really happening
during the dance, I completely lost it. Mac’s screaming with his shirt torn open was insane.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
by MDC on Dec 16, 2011 10:32 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
The Sound Emanating From Mac's Mouth
Coupled with everything else…perfect. It cannot get any better than that.
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
by Tim on Dec 16, 2011 10:42 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
No numbers,
but I just have a feeling this is the game where TJ feeds off his near perfect execution of the two minute drill last week, comes into his own, and just goes OFF in this game. He will prove to us and the rest of the league you do not want to try and force TJ to beat you with his arm because he will….and then detach it from his robotic body and continue to beat the dead horse until the final seconds tick off the clock.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
by txknight on Dec 16, 2011 5:19 PM CST reply actions 11 recs
Rec'd my friend.
I had a dream. In that dream I saw a multitude of screaming people on Richmond. I saw Kubiak laughing. I saw Andre Johnson pouring champagne from a trophy on to Brian Cushings head. What does it mean?
I'm liking this..^^^...
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
AWSOME= AWSOMERRRRRR
rec
redskins- bought by Snyder, OWNED by THE Cowboys !
Ryan- If only i could get that kind of aggression from my. Hey! You gonna eat that ?
Texans .....stand tall and REP !
Albert Breer picked us to lose
Sell your tickets. It's over
Madame de Staël once said, "One must choose in life between boredom and suffering." De Staël is dead but there is always an alternative.
This is where the cool is.
He is 0-4
for Texans picks as of late, and I would imagine since before.
Division Champion Houston Texans
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
The next time I read about our 3rd string QB, I might just Choke a Bitch.
2-0 Starting Rookie QB, get it right.
My friends & family in Houston tell me my home town has gone berserk on a level as high as
when the ’Stros went to the World Series, maybe even higher.
I predict the guys will have trouble keeping their focus in this madness, especially with the steadying presence of Wade missing.
This game will bring everyone down to Earth, I expect. There’s a lot of work to be done yet.
Tj Was named rookie of the week!
Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts?
by Rocket94 on Dec 16, 2011 5:50 PM CST via mobile reply actions 5 recs
Woooooooot!
Rock it TJ.
I had a dream. In that dream I saw a multitude of screaming people on Richmond. I saw Kubiak laughing. I saw Andre Johnson pouring champagne from a trophy on to Brian Cushings head. What does it mean?
He deserved it!
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 16, 2011 8:25 PM CST up reply actions
Good and goo'd.
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 17, 2011 12:03 AM CST up reply actions
Woo!
Weejay the winner of the week!
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
by Foster Child on Dec 17, 2011 11:11 AM CST up reply actions
OT: MCM discussing whether BESFs should pay up
//grunt//….must…….not…….troll…..must…resist….
by FreedomRide on Dec 16, 2011 6:01 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Maybe Andre can come back for that game
Just to beat his ass again.
I had a dream. In that dream I saw a multitude of screaming people on Richmond. I saw Kubiak laughing. I saw Andre Johnson pouring champagne from a trophy on to Brian Cushings head. What does it mean?
by trutxfan on Dec 16, 2011 6:06 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I mean, when you can pay CB1 money
for someone who is a glorified nickel CB most days, don’t you HAVE to do that?
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
2 pick sixes
One by jospeh, and one by Brandon Harris
@THEREALALLENOU on twitter - "The man, the verb, the legend" OU'd
by AllenOU on Dec 16, 2011 6:02 PM CST via mobile reply actions
I say 3
Give one to KJ.
I had a dream. In that dream I saw a multitude of screaming people on Richmond. I saw Kubiak laughing. I saw Andre Johnson pouring champagne from a trophy on to Brian Cushings head. What does it mean?
Drugs are bad.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
Mmmkay?
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
by Foster Child on Dec 16, 2011 11:28 PM CST up reply actions
You've embiggened this post, Tim
with the cromulent word “worthlesser”.
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
by Foster Child on Dec 16, 2011 6:06 PM CST reply actions 3 recs
Happy Hanukkah.
I had a dream. In that dream I saw a multitude of screaming people on Richmond. I saw Kubiak laughing. I saw Andre Johnson pouring champagne from a trophy on to Brian Cushings head. What does it mean?
Have a festive Festivus!
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 16, 2011 8:26 PM CST up reply actions
I predict
IM, GOING TO THE PLAYOFF GAME! I GOT TICKETS TODAY!
With the injuries to Quarterbacks Matt Schaub, and Matt Leinart, the entire fate of the Houston Texans 2011 season rest on the right arm of.... T.J Yates????
Oh boy...
by Carter Liles on Dec 16, 2011 6:11 PM CST via mobile reply actions 2 recs
Be Loud Be Proud.
I had a dream. In that dream I saw a multitude of screaming people on Richmond. I saw Kubiak laughing. I saw Andre Johnson pouring champagne from a trophy on to Brian Cushings head. What does it mean?
yes.
I AM PUMPED
With the injuries to Quarterbacks Matt Schaub, and Matt Leinart, the entire fate of the Houston Texans 2011 season rest on the right arm of.... T.J Yates????
Oh boy...
by Carter Liles on Dec 16, 2011 8:15 PM CST up reply actions
Foster is going to have a huge day
with over 200 yds from scrimmage and 2 TDs. The run game will allow Yates to “manage” 14 completions on 23 attempts for 189 yds, 2 TDs and no sacks or turnovers.
Our 2-headed CB2 monster will have a pair of picks on Scam and Kareem will take one to the house for his first career pick-6… BUT, KJax will also get burned on at least two deep completions (one for a TD) in addition to his obligatory PI penalty.
Watt gets another fumble recovery (that isn’t negated by a yellow flag) and Barwin adds 3 sacks as the defense holds their 8th consecutive opponent below 20 points.
Texans: 34
Panthers: 17
I agree with everything but
Kareem getting a pick, because Jason Allen will be the one who does that. and their getting 17 points is roughly 4 points over what I think they might get, if they don’t get shutout. offense does it’s thang, 34-13
Beer, it's not just for breakfast anymore
I'm predicting an INT for Allen AND Jackson
but Kareem’s goes all the way back for a TD. At least that’s what my Crystal Ball is saying today…
And hammered.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
The poster
or the brass?
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 16, 2011 8:27 PM CST up reply actions
Cam Newton will try too hard to show us how "Super" he is...
and this is the wrong defense in the wrong stadium. Two picks minimum for the Texans D even if the sun doesn’t shine yet again on Kareem’s posterior.
But I guess the idea of Jason Allen or Kareem getting int’s is laughable. Oh wait…
yup, I'm just messin with ya
beer is the best drug in the world!
Beer, it's not just for breakfast anymore
glad to hear
I’m sure beer is a whole lot healthier than meth. But don’t tell them that on MCM;)
Although, I shouldn’t judge. I’ve been high on Texans a lot lately.
Kareem with a pick six?
The fumes at the Stygian Stables must have been horrendous. :)
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Dec 16, 2011 9:09 PM CST up reply actions
When I go bold pick
I go bold! I was going to predict JoJo with the pick-6 but he dropped it. Unfortunately for KJax, having better hands than JoJo doesn’t make up for his CB deficiencies.
And I would have called Allen with the pick-6 but he already burned his up on non-scores. So does KJax still deserve a game ball if his pick-6 is offset by his typical, horrendous coverage?
btw, speaking of Stygian Stables and KJax
I don’t think the kid will ever suffer serious injury, because I can safely say the Football Gods had zero interest in him as a sacrifice. I’m not saying how I know… let’s just say the subject has been well-covered and they said “no” every time.
You need to read the last Battle Red Onion.
Battle Red Onion: Texans Fans, Bloggers, Plot Revenge Against Football Gods for Injuries
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Dec 16, 2011 9:36 PM CST up reply actions
now I know why you referred to Matut in that other thread...
I even googled it, but I should’ve known to check the BRO. Now I know who to curse if another Texan goes down. Thanks, UT:)
close game
texans 23 – panthers 21
- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.
"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers
by NoSafetiesNeeded on Dec 16, 2011 6:59 PM CST reply actions
Take this with a grain of salt
But I was just perusing Walterfootball and a lot of the mock drafts have us picking at #31.
Just thought that was nice to see…
by YohannDookeyblue on Dec 16, 2011 7:47 PM CST reply actions
After all these years picking in the upper half of the first round, its going to feel strange seeing the Texans pick so late. It’ll be worth it, though.
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Dec 16, 2011 8:19 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
too bad it isnt like fantasy drafts
where we get picks close to eachother
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
goodness....
I’ve seen more than one article predicting panthers victory citing Houston’s inability to contain cam newton. If it was that simple wouldn’t Carolina be 13-0?
Dirt dog pimp
by jahunter221 on Dec 16, 2011 8:09 PM CST via mobile reply actions 2 recs
They have us confused with Indy? Cause our defense obviously has to suck without teh Schaub lining up at NT.
I think I saw us as the unanimous choice on NFLN tonight.
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 17, 2011 12:11 AM CST up reply actions
I wonder how they are going to handle Newton
just put Cushing as a spy the whole game?
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
Not exclusively...they can defend a consistent spy...
but that will certainly have to be a priority.
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
Maybe
didn’t we have cushing spying CJ when we played the Titans? or was he just extra superhuman that day.
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
I think this.
Anytime we have gone up against a dangerous runner, or QB with scrambling ability, they put Cushing on spy duty. Not sure what they did last week, wasn’t watching numbers well enough. Was Cushing spying Benson? Is that why Dalton got loose a few times?
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
Yes, it is a tarp game
When that tarp is unfurled in the stadium the crowd will go wild
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 16, 2011 8:18 PM CST reply actions 9 recs
...so much reply fail..
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
wut?!?!?!
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 16, 2011 8:29 PM CST up reply actions
<3
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
Rec Whore!!!!
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
27-17
I’m gonna say this will not be that close of a game. Barwin will get 2 sacks, Cushing will level Cam once, JoJo gets a pick 6, and Watt grabs a sack too. Plus Arian and Tate go off for a combined 212 yards. Plus TJ throws 2 td’s, one to OD and one to JJ. Shabam!
"San Antonio is the best falling down team in the league"- Bill Worrell
Pre Game Speach
Kubes need to give the old Major League 2 speach.
I just went to see Wade in the hospital and the Docs think he isnt going to make it, and Wade looked me in square in the eye and said all he wanted is for the boys to win this one for him!
by Dave Orr on Dec 16, 2011 9:04 PM CST reply actions 3 recs
I CANT WAIT TO HEAR THE CROWD SUNDAY!!!!!!! IM DRINKING MR. CLEAN RIGHT NOW!!!!!
Dirt dog pimp
by jahunter221 on Dec 16, 2011 9:22 PM CST via mobile reply actions
I think that is endorsed by Chris Meyers
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 16, 2011 9:35 PM CST up reply actions
OK, besides predicting 32-6 Texans
I say there are least 4 false starts and 1 delay a game because of the crowd
Quin does a KTFO Award worthy hit on a panther who loses the ball
I predict another (yes another) “fumble” that is not a fumble for the Texans
and stuff that looks like this:
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 16, 2011 9:41 PM CST reply actions 6 recs
If the crowd is loud
Then I can’t see the panthers winning…and the crowd will be loud from the raising of the banner all the way until the final whistle!!
by SMITHILLIAK on Dec 16, 2011 9:52 PM CST via mobile reply actions
If that banner rolling down and the thought of..
Wade laying in a hospital bed, doesn’t get this team stoked, I don’t know what will. I expect that Kubiak will continue to trust in his grooming of Yates and put the ball down field, passing to run. Texans 24-17 (and a tie with da Bears for the most consecutive games (8) holding an opponent to under 20!!
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
I see Cam Newton having a career day...
his worst day as a pro that is. That’s not a bold prediction when your defense has been making good QBs look bad the past seven games.
ok, not all of those QBs were good
but the last two were and so is Roethlisberger. I just don’t want anyone thinking I’m suggesting Blaine Gabbert is a “good QB”. If that happened it would only be a matter of time before someone had be locked up to protect me from myself.
Hey welcome back SB!
great sig btw
Thank God for football!
by BattleRedHusker on Dec 17, 2011 12:17 AM CST up reply actions
Maybe it's the hiskwy talking
But you’ve got an ass that just won’t quit.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Dec 16, 2011 10:05 PM CST reply actions 8 recs
I am reccing this
and I have no idea what was said
/not sure vdoka can translate hiskwy
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 16, 2011 10:08 PM CST up reply actions
heh
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Dec 16, 2011 10:12 PM CST up reply actions
Also
Love the sig line.
Are you going to Lavaca St. for the big party?
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Dec 16, 2011 10:17 PM CST up reply actions
I Assume That Was Directed Towards Me
Thank you, and you’re right.
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
by Tim on Dec 16, 2011 10:11 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
//bites tongue in fearful reverence of Dear Leader
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Dec 16, 2011 10:14 PM CST up reply actions
Well, at least you keep the trains running on time.
/bows reverently
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
by Foster Child on Dec 17, 2011 11:17 AM CST up reply actions
Whoops
Wrong board.
For some reason, I see a ton of points being scored this game. And I also see Yates and Jacoby combining for a monster game. I think it’s because I hate the Walter/Gamble match-up, but I equally love the Jones/Munnerlyn one. Jones has about 7" on Munnerlyn and a major speed advantage. Throw in the run game and Cam’s ability to create, and I see this one as a tennis match. JUGGERNAUT 38-24.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Dec 16, 2011 10:11 PM CST up reply actions
This makes the above
even MOAR hilarious!
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 16, 2011 10:15 PM CST up reply actions
That's why I prefaced it
So I can blame the alcohol if I’m wrong.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Dec 16, 2011 10:17 PM CST up reply actions
Figured you been drinking
You even spelled HIWSKEY wrong
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 16, 2011 10:29 PM CST up reply actions
hahahahaaaaaaa
redskins- bought by Snyder, OWNED by THE Cowboys !
Ryan- If only i could get that kind of aggression from my. Hey! You gonna eat that ?
Texans .....stand tall and REP !
I am not predicting Rackers to get a TD this game
There. I said it. He has been working so hard at finding ways to rip the arm off of a returner that he has his focus split, and needs to concentrate on kicking the gosh darn ball.
1) Walking in a Wade-less Wonderland (Barwin and Cushing outdo Reed by 1 sack each, for a total of 8 on the day).
2) There may be a bit of an overhead Cam in this one, but not a Double OH Cam. (Newton is limited to 228 yards passing, 15 yards on the ground.)
3) All of the Football gods and goddesses finally realize that (Tootin’ Aphids or not) they cannot stop the Juggernaut that is the Houston Texans.
4) The noise from Texan Fans at Reliant reaches such a level that it starts a refinery fire in Bay City (fortunately no one is hurt), summons back a downed drone from Iran, and balances the US Budget.
But, just to keep it exciting, the score ends up being: Texans 31, Carol Liner Pantsers 20.
Follow the invalid toad.
er, The Cams get 19, I meant
Follow the invalid toad.
by Gerbillogic on Dec 16, 2011 10:30 PM CST up reply actions
Re: "Reggie Herring is a prophet" tag
I hate to even mention this, but he was the interim coach after Houston Nutt left Arkansas, and he got absolutely decimated (38-7) by Tony Temple and Mizzou in the Cotton Bowl in 2008.
What I’m saying is, if the Texans lose, it’s Arkansas’s fault.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
by MDC on Dec 16, 2011 10:37 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
You Are Arkansas
So if the Texans lose, I blame you.
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
by Tim on Dec 16, 2011 10:56 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
The single most logical statement I've read on this site.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Dec 16, 2011 10:58 PM CST up reply actions
I hope Liam
goes to OU.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
I usually like Brian Billick on NFL.com
but apparently Owen Daniel clears out deep and Kevin Walters came underneath wide open.. double fail.
Thank God for football!
by BattleRedHusker on Dec 17, 2011 12:43 AM CST reply actions
Only cause Jacoby Ford was tying up the other corner
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 17, 2011 1:09 AM CST up reply actions
Did he mention Andrew Johnson?
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
by Foster Child on Dec 17, 2011 11:19 AM CST up reply actions
Tough game to call due to the odd nature of what Cam brings
So I’m going with:
Cam sneaks by for a rushing TD, and burns one of our non-J-Jo corners for a passing TD, and they squeak out a FG in frustration when the defense adjusts and locks things down.
Later in the game Cam thinks he can break it again and meets the “four horseman” just past the line of scrimmage in a nasty voracious collision with Cushing, Barwin, Watt, and Reed. Everyone gets up fine, but Cam’s done risking the runs for the day.
Jeff Maehl shows Jacoby what hands can do for receivers and nabs a TD. Dreessen gets yet another TD catch, and Foster gets a rushing TD and receiving TD. Tate and Foster both rush for over 100 yards, and TJ breaks 300 yards passing. Rackers hits a 38 yard FG just before halftime. J-Jo finally collects his pick six to ice the 4th quarter.
Final score: Panthers 17, Texans 38
Kubiak: "The hand gestures I'm getting as I drive around town are a lot better this year than in previous seasons."
Breaking the curse!
This week fans of the original Star Trek series are holding a mini-convention during the tail-gating before the game to help break the curse of a Texan being injured every week. They can relate with this curse, because in the old episodes, the crew member wearing the red shirt who was not introduced was as notoriously killed in the scene. They’ll be reading off the roster of all the active players for the game to make sure and beat the curse.
Kubiak: "The hand gestures I'm getting as I drive around town are a lot better this year than in previous seasons."
LOL ...
Guardian of the Gate to La La Land!
Gonsoulin, Taylor, Wright, Gradishar, Atwater, and Davis.....
Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.
"I canna give ye morrrrrre powerrrrrrrrrrrr, Captain!"
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
by Foster Child on Dec 17, 2011 11:24 AM CST up reply actions
Captain there be whales here.
I had a dream. In that dream I saw a multitude of screaming people on Richmond. I saw Kubiak laughing. I saw Andre Johnson pouring champagne from a trophy on to Brian Cushings head. What does it mean?
Humpback, people?
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 17, 2011 6:25 PM CST up reply actions
I'm flattered
maybe even mildly curious, but no thanks.
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
by Foster Child on Dec 17, 2011 10:52 PM CST up reply actions
I think it's Tate time
Don’t be surprised to see Tate get the bulk of carries. His YPC have been awesome, and Foster has been struggling as of late. I predict a big game for Tate; going for a 125 yards and 2 tds. Yates will throw for 1 td. I love Foster, but he’s been in a funk or injured or something…
Swat and swim, dip and rip, twist and spin; just do whacha gotta do to light up that QB.
Something's up with Foster.
I’ve never seen him getting arm-tackled as as much as he is lately. I wonder if he’s hurt or turned vegetarian or something.
The other teams are just focusing on him.
Watch what happens tomorrow. He’s loaded for bear.
I had a dream. In that dream I saw a multitude of screaming people on Richmond. I saw Kubiak laughing. I saw Andre Johnson pouring champagne from a trophy on to Brian Cushings head. What does it mean?
The National Media
will continue to barely give us any credit or mention. They’ve gotten better, but Green Bay and Tebow clearly deserve all the attention, plus the Ravens, Steelers and the other 27 teams.
Warren Sapp has been giving us a lot of credit on the NFL Network
He even thinks the Texans can ride the #1 defense right into the Super Bowl
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Dec 17, 2011 7:08 PM CST up reply actions
Warren Sapp has demonstrated that he likes the Texans since week 6.
He likes the defense a lot.
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
by professortex on Dec 17, 2011 9:24 PM CST up reply actions
I love Sapp.
Always have. You’ll never convince me that he wasn’t the best player in CFB in 1994.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
My three totally useless, short, and tangy predilections
Saturday before the Panthers-Texans game. Let’s not fall asleep on this one, okay boys? Keep battlin’! Don’t stop comin’!
Interesting stat. If Cam Newton doesn’t turn the ball over by fumbling or an INT, the Panthers have a damn good record. They are quite the opposite when he does. When Cam is flawed, the Panthers are the Manningless-Colts.
Here’s three predilections you should put some money on:
1. Joel Dreesen captures the TE single season TD reception record from Gronk as he hauls in ten TDs this Sunday. Put some money on that.
2. Showing that last Sunday was a fluke, Neil Rackers kicks not one but two 50+ yard FGs. The first to tie the game in regulation. The second to win the game in OT. Bank it.
3. Kubiak dips into the Wildcat playbag on the first play of the game and pulls out some James Casey trickery. Standing in shotgun, Casey takes the hike as Yates motions to the right and stops in the slot. On the hike, Yates drifts back from the LOS as Casey fakes a slant run behind the zone stretch led by Eric Winston. Casey stops, pitches back to Yates and as Yates rolls to the right. Yates puts the brakes on and throws cross field 25 yards down from the LOS to a speeding Kevin Walter who cradles in the perfectly lofted ball for an untouched TD. The play rocks Reliant. After the game Kubiak identifies the play as the “86-Special.”
Texans in OT, sending fans home with great feelings and lots of stories, Texans 27 – Panthers 24
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
If they ran the Wildcat with Danieal Manning
Kubes could call it the “38 Special”.
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
by Foster Child on Dec 17, 2011 11:23 AM CST up reply actions
OK, so the the Texans score at least 11 TDs, but the game is tied at the end of regulation?
Damn, they really will miss Wade.
by FreedomRide on Dec 17, 2011 12:40 PM CST up reply actions
Shhhhhh....
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
Never gonna happen.
We win. It’s not pretty, but we win!
I had a dream. In that dream I saw a multitude of screaming people on Richmond. I saw Kubiak laughing. I saw Andre Johnson pouring champagne from a trophy on to Brian Cushings head. What does it mean?
No, it's happening and you can go to Vegas with that knowledge and clean up
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
10 td's in a single game?
Damn.
I had a dream. In that dream I saw a multitude of screaming people on Richmond. I saw Kubiak laughing. I saw Andre Johnson pouring champagne from a trophy on to Brian Cushings head. What does it mean?
And we somehow manage to score only 27 points.
Joel Dreessen will apparently break the NFL as well.
GET A SILK BAG FROM THE GRAVEYARD DUCK TO LIVE LONGER.
Good Guys Win.......Again!
27-13
Reliant will be rocking.
I do predict a sound meter on the right hand side of the screen.
My attitude is like a virgin......I dont give a fuck!
My prediction
Texans win by a large margin!
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
Hmm, apparently I've been totally deleted from MCM.
Perhaps for referring to Finnegan as “Innegan”, even though I was otherwise complementary.
I call that chickenshit in the extreme.
But then, I’m not judging by Methville standards.
They are tremendous pussies over there.
Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
Well, technically
the wisest course would be forced sterilization of all MCM contributors and commenters, but this option is almost as good.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
Figurative "fuck 'em."
Literally doing it would expose you to both STDs and angry male relatives.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
Umm, no I haven't.
Most likely I was too drunk to find my own posts.
/mandatory idiocy confession.
by FreedomRide on Dec 18, 2011 10:02 AM CST up reply actions
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