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This Week in the Red Zone, Or How Anime Can Put This Game Into Perspective: Carolina Panthers vs. Houston Texans

I am an anime nerd. I admit it. Before I got a real job, I would spend my days watching Adult Swim's anime lineup on my DVR--when I wasn't on here, at least. One of my favorites is a show called "Fullmetal Alchemist." In that show, people can turn air into fire, scrap metal into full suits of armor, and could, if applied to football, turn Frank Bush into Wade Phillips. But there's a rule that they must follow called "Equivalent Exchange." In order to gain, something of equal value must be surrendered.

I believe in balance. I think, however irrational it may be (and trust me, I know it is), that for every game the Texans win that they aren't "supposed to," they must lose an equally stunning game that they "should" win. For every Steelers game, there's a snafu-laden Raiders game. Since October, I think the Texans have had to give up something, whether it be losing Schaub against the Buccaneers, Danieal Manning against the Titans, and so on, in order to get something of equal value: a win.

Of course it's all superstitious nonsense, but it's the only way I can make sense of the way the Texans played Sunday against the Panthers. For winning against either the Falcons (or Bengals, I'm not entirely sure), the Texans had to give up what was should have been a win after clinching a playoff berth.

With that tenuous connection between anime and football being made, let's get to how the Texans fared in the red zone.

Jump. And bring your tissues with you.

Star-divide

Third Quarter

First Red Zone Drive

The Texans' first appearance in the red zone came at the end of an 18-yard scamper by Arian Foster, which took the Texans to the Panthers' 12-yard line.

Then on first down, the Texans gave the ball to Foster, who ran off the left side for a five yard gain.

On second-and-five at the Panthers' seven, T.J. Yates threw an incomplete pass intended for Arian Foster.

Third down came and saw Yates throw again, this time intended for Kevin Walter, which fell incomplete...again.

Fourth-and-five arrived and, for reasons that nobody has explained to my satisfaction, Rackers came into the game to successfully kick a 26-yard field goal that would cut the Panthers' lead at that point to a scant 18 points.

Whee.

Time Spent in Red Zone: :47
End Result: Neil Rackers finally boots the ball through the uprights for a field goal.
Score: Carolina 21 - Houston 3

Second Red Zone Drive

The second Texans' red zone drive came on the next series. Yates threw a 12 yard dart to Owen Daniels, which would be good if it weren't for the fact the Texans faced a first-and-20 at the time.

The Texans got to the Panthers' 16 on second-and-eight when Yates lobbed a deep pass for Joel Dreessen that went incomplete.

On third-and-eight, a third down the Texans desperately needed to convert on, Yates threw another incompletion, this time aimed at Bryant Johnson.

So on fourth-and-eight out comes, again, the kicking team where Rackers would successfully kick a 34-yard field goal.

Time Spent in Red Zone: :18
End Result: Yet another Neil Rackers field goal.
Score: Carolina 21 - Houston 6

Fourth Quarter

Third Red Zone Drive

The fourth quarter began with the Texans at the Carolina 11 after Yates completed a 19-yard pass to Kevin Walter.

On first-and-10, Foster got the carry and gained six yards for his efforts.

The Texans faced second-and-four at the five when Foster got the ball again, this time reaching the one-yard line.

Third down came, and the Texans, who had not hit paydirt yet, finally did when Foster took the ball off Duane Brown's side for the touchdown.

Time Spent in Red Zone: 1:12
End Result: Another bow by Arian Foster and a Texans touchdown!
Score: Carolina 21 - Houston 13

Fourth Red Zone Drive

The Texans had hopes of pulling another comeback out as they arrived in the red zone for the fourth time. This time, Foster reached the Panthers' 10 after catching a 22-yard pass from Yates.

The Texans had first-and-goal from the 10 as Foster took the ball for a three-yard gain.

On second-and-seven, Yates took a sack for a loss of two yards.

Then on third-and-nine, Yates threw, in what looked eerily similar to the Raiders game, an interception which was intended for Jacoby Jones, who stopped and moved out of position.

Time Spent in Red Zone: 1:19
End Result: A game-sealing interception by the Panthers, and concussion symptoms for one blogger after banging his head repeatedly against the table afterward.
Score: Carolina 28 - Houston 13

Final Results

Number of Red Zone Trips: 4.
Total Time in Red Zone: 3:36.
Average Amount of Time in Red Zone: :54.
Red Zone Efficiency: 3/4 (75%).
Scores in Red Zone: 1 TD (Foster), 2 FGs (26, 34).

Thursday the Texans face the Colts, fresh off their first win of the season...against the Southern Kentucky BE-SFs...suddenly, I don't feel quite so bad.

Panthers vs Texans coverage

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Apparently, Wade's sacrificial gall bladder did not appease the gods

because it improves, rather than hurts, his health. So, who can the Texans sacrifice Thursday night to win the game? I’m looking at you, B. Johnson!

A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving

by Foster Child on Dec 19, 2011 6:10 AM CST reply actions  

TURK

Is available as well

Don’t forget his 29 yard punt average

Division Champion Houston Texans
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
The next time I read about our 3rd string QB, I might just Choke a Bitch.
2-0 Starting Rookie QB, get it right.

by WreckNTexan on Dec 19, 2011 6:42 AM CST up reply actions  

The Gods were angry yesterday.

Even Tebow felt the wrath.

Sacrificing B. Johnson should be enough to beat the Colts; but we will need to make a bigger sacrifice during the playoffs.

Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, Jacoby Ford, Kevin Walters, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!

by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 19, 2011 8:11 AM CST up reply actions  

Kareem Jackson???

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."

by The Night Owl on Dec 19, 2011 10:39 AM CST up reply actions  

That coupon will only last a quarter.

We need to think bigger. Maybe Meco because his value may start to decline and we can get to most out of the sacrifice.

Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, Jacoby Ford, Kevin Walters, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!

by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 19, 2011 10:43 AM CST up reply actions  

You really want them to call up Cheta Ozougwu, don't you?

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."

by The Night Owl on Dec 19, 2011 10:45 AM CST up reply actions  

Nah

He’s irrelevant.

Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, Jacoby Ford, Kevin Walters, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!

by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 19, 2011 10:47 AM CST up reply actions   1 recs

So was Ryan Succop for the Chiefs

I think was pretty relevant against the Packers yesterday

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."

by The Night Owl on Dec 19, 2011 10:49 AM CST up reply actions  

Weejay's first interception was scary.

It was the WTF? moment of the weekend. Disturbingly Rex Grossman-like.

by FreedomRide on Dec 19, 2011 6:32 AM CST reply actions  

He just left it a little low

He had been throwing high, he just overcompensated and the LB was able to get it.

by splanket on Dec 19, 2011 8:13 AM CST via mobile up reply actions  

^this

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg

"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell

I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right

by Barryfromtexas on Dec 19, 2011 9:42 AM CST up reply actions  

Jeremy Shockey

is a shithead

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 6:50 AM CST reply actions  

Sorry, American sh__head

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 9:59 AM CST up reply actions  

Shockey reminds me of the

Character Above, just a DB

Division Champion Houston Texans
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
The next time I read about our 3rd string QB, I might just Choke a Bitch.
2-0 Starting Rookie QB, get it right.

by WreckNTexan on Dec 19, 2011 11:34 AM CST up reply actions  

Jeremy Shockey

is the reason why I’m pro abortion. Or sterilization.

Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, Jacoby Ford, Kevin Walters, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!

by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 19, 2011 8:13 AM CST up reply actions  

No ones more american then Shocky

Hes got the flag and eagle tatted down his arm to prove it, and im sure he’s got a support the troops magnet on his car somewhere. Patriotism 100%

by EI4630 on Dec 19, 2011 9:49 AM CST up reply actions  

Nice.

Prediction: 11-5 AFC South champions.

by Ethan Matz on Dec 19, 2011 12:20 PM CST up reply actions  

By your "balance" rationale

shouldn’t the Texans have a ton of credit built up on the “games we should have won, but lost” side of the ledger based off of 2010 alone, or does it reset every year?

by Vega on Dec 19, 2011 7:30 AM CST reply actions  

No, it just means they will have an equal amount of good losses vs. bad losses

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 7:34 AM CST up reply actions  

Kubiak now is back at .500

Ain’t that balance??

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."

by The Night Owl on Dec 19, 2011 10:41 AM CST up reply actions  

I'd like to think the former because we'll have a dynasty if it takes the last nine years into consideration.

But more than likely, I suspect it’s a yearly thing.

Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.

Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.

I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!

Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.

by UprootedTexan on Dec 19, 2011 9:00 AM CST up reply actions  

Neil Rackers....

Can’t wait to see more missed field goals. See you on Thursday.

Q: If we loose and Indy gets another win. Who owns the suck for luck tiebreaker?

Swede that like the Houston Texans and Chelsea FC

by Fredrik Nyman on Dec 19, 2011 7:46 AM CST reply actions  

Indy

But they still have Goldilocks the following week

Division Champion Houston Texans
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
The next time I read about our 3rd string QB, I might just Choke a Bitch.
2-0 Starting Rookie QB, get it right.

by WreckNTexan on Dec 19, 2011 8:44 AM CST up reply actions  

If we had to lose one of our final games.

This was the one to lose. But it still sucks losing.

Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, Jacoby Ford, Kevin Walters, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!

by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 19, 2011 8:14 AM CST reply actions  

Baltimore losing was a nice consolation prize.

Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.

"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.

by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 19, 2011 8:15 AM CST up reply actions  

Yes it was.

Now let’s hope Pittsburgh loses today. Also the BE-SF’s losing to the Colts was a nice early Christmas gift.

Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, Jacoby Ford, Kevin Walters, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!

by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 19, 2011 8:17 AM CST up reply actions  

Is Big Ben playing?

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 10:00 AM CST up reply actions  

word is dennis dixon should be the starter

- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.

"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers

by NoSafetiesNeeded on Dec 19, 2011 10:35 AM CST up reply actions  

lol what

Even if Ben wasn’t going to play(which he will) Dixon would not start.

I wish we could hire coaches without "having grown up in Houston" being a job requirement.

by DaGoaT on Dec 19, 2011 11:14 AM CST up reply actions  

BESFs losing helped ease the pain a bit.

Good job by them of helping Jim Caldwell keep his job, guaranteeing more Colts’ suckage next season.

by FreedomRide on Dec 19, 2011 8:25 AM CST up reply actions  

Bright spot yesterday was Foster coming back strong after his fumble.

I’ve been worried about him, but he was clearly the Texans’ best player yesterday.

by FreedomRide on Dec 19, 2011 8:31 AM CST reply actions  

sucks when the team's best player effs up!

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 10:01 AM CST up reply actions  

I'm not used to worrying about Foster's ball security.

I don’t want to get used to it. He needs not to do that anymore, please.

by FreedomRide on Dec 19, 2011 10:04 AM CST up reply actions  

Isn't that four games in a row?

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 10:08 AM CST up reply actions  

I don't recall one in the Atlanta game,

and the NFL has now admitted last week’s was an incomplete pass.

by FreedomRide on Dec 19, 2011 10:16 AM CST up reply actions  

tough loss yesterday

Any word on if we will have wade and or AJ back for Thursday?

by Texan5513 on Dec 19, 2011 8:40 AM CST via iPhone app reply actions  

I doubt AJ is ready, but the BESFs is likely (in my opinion).

Wade was expecting to miss 10 days.

Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.

"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.

by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 19, 2011 8:42 AM CST up reply actions  

I expect Wade to not be at the game

He has to be pretty sore and barely able to stand up from a reclining position after they had a fishing trip inside his abdomen.

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 10:03 AM CST up reply actions  

Can't he borrow Schaub's scooter, or call the game from the booth, or both?

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."

by The Night Owl on Dec 19, 2011 10:43 AM CST up reply actions  

I think 10 days is Friday or Saturday.

Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.

"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.

by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 19, 2011 10:51 AM CST up reply actions  

He has to worry about pulling the internal stitches here. There is a high risk.

The last thing he wants is to have the doctors going back in to find a tear and have to fix it.

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 2:21 PM CST up reply actions  

Truth be told, I was back at the office one week after my surgery

But, you need to remember, Wade is no Rip Jersey. I feel no pain.

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 5:11 PM CST up reply actions  

Only if he had

terrible surgeons. I didn’t bounce back that quickly after I had that surgery because I had waited to long and my gallbladder had gone septic, but my dad had the same surgery under normal circumstances a year later and he was back to work in a week. I’d be more surprised if he wasn’t there than if he was.

by Bobbythegreat on Dec 19, 2011 4:51 PM CST up reply actions  

I honestly wouldn't put 'Dre in a game until the playoffs

Let him get fully rested for top performance in the game that matters most.

Also, I worry about the BESFs being bitter about how this season went for us and them and doing something cheap.

Kubiak: "The hand gestures I'm getting as I drive around town are a lot better this year than in previous seasons."

by MeMongo on Dec 19, 2011 11:09 AM CST up reply actions  

...

Aww they wouldn't do that.

Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.

"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.

by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 19, 2011 11:19 AM CST up reply actions  

Another thing I worry about, and I'm sure Kubiak and Rick Smith are concerned

You don’t want to get to the playoff game and insert AJ only to have him get re-injured immediately and not have a good plan for who is coming into the lineup and taking that spot. You only get so many active roster spots.

I don’t know this, but does the active roster number change in the playoffs versus the regular season?

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 2:24 PM CST up reply actions  

I doubt they will be back Thursday

Too soon.

Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, Jacoby Ford, Kevin Walters, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!

by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 19, 2011 8:42 AM CST up reply actions  

Perspective?!

But the sky is falling!

Seriously, though, not a huge deal, although I hop Wade recovers quickly.

by morecowbell-lesscowboys on Dec 19, 2011 9:04 AM CST reply actions  

Talking about hops this early? Must be channeling your inner Kris Kristofferson.

Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.

"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.

by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 19, 2011 9:12 AM CST up reply actions  

breakfast in bed?

That reminds me of the time I was riding through Boulder, CO and stopped for some breakfast. Saw some guy in there sitting by himself reading the Sunday paper and downing a pitcher of beer. Awesome!!!

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 10:05 AM CST up reply actions  

Sunday Morning Coming Down
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn’t bad,
So I had one more for dessert.

Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.

"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.

by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 19, 2011 10:16 AM CST up reply actions  

I have a few technical observations about the loss yesterday

Compiling all of said information together boils down to the Texans Sucked Yesterday

I am not sure there is any reason to even study that game’s film.

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg

"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell

I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right

by Barryfromtexas on Dec 19, 2011 9:46 AM CST reply actions  

I find that conclusion highly unlikely.

That loss almost certainly came down to one person. Reggie Herring? Rackers? Cody? Yates? Jon Weeks? I won’t be certain until I run a series of tests, but no doubt we should shelf the idea that for the first time this season our entire team came out flat, and instead devote the next three days (Thursday football!) to heaping all of the blame on one player.

by Nashmeister on Dec 19, 2011 10:04 AM CST up reply actions  

Except he actually was decent

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg

"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell

I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right

by Barryfromtexas on Dec 19, 2011 2:18 PM CST up reply actions  

You left out Foster, Turk, OD and Marciano

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 10:07 AM CST up reply actions  

Winston....

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 10:07 AM CST up reply actions  

Oh, how could I forget Winston?

He’s horrible and regresses every five minutes and gives up twelve sacks a game and—oh, he’s PFF’s 5th-ranked right tackle?

by Nashmeister on Dec 19, 2011 10:11 AM CST up reply actions  

pff is full of shit

- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.

"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers

by NoSafetiesNeeded on Dec 19, 2011 10:37 AM CST up reply actions  

In some cases.

But in this particular scenario, the overreaction to every Winston mistake tends to overshadow the fact that he’s still a very good player.

by Nashmeister on Dec 19, 2011 11:25 AM CST up reply actions  

Very Good

Yet Constantly holding

Division Champion Houston Texans
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
The next time I read about our 3rd string QB, I might just Choke a Bitch.
2-0 Starting Rookie QB, get it right.

by WreckNTexan on Dec 19, 2011 11:38 AM CST up reply actions  

Speaking of holding

No holding calls against Carolina?

I do not think there was a single pass play where they were not holding

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg

"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell

I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right

by Barryfromtexas on Dec 19, 2011 2:19 PM CST up reply actions  

I saw that as well

kind of obvious when the OL has his arm all the way around the defender, then throws his hands up as if to say oops i didnt hold that guy, I saw that shit 3 times, 2 of which i think were on tds

Beer, it's not just for breakfast anymore

by Chrxtopher on Dec 19, 2011 7:11 PM CST up reply actions  

I'm not saying I don't like Winston.

Just adding him to the list of players that contributed in not so productive ways, yesterday, is all….

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 2:26 PM CST up reply actions  

did mike clark ever show up yesterday?

from what i remember im super pissed at him.

- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.

"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers

by NoSafetiesNeeded on Dec 19, 2011 10:37 AM CST reply actions  

I don't remember seeing him

So we have our Goat

Division Champion Houston Texans
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
The next time I read about our 3rd string QB, I might just Choke a Bitch.
2-0 Starting Rookie QB, get it right.

by WreckNTexan on Dec 19, 2011 11:39 AM CST up reply actions  

Team came out so flat and got even flatter after the Foster fumble that set the tone for the day.

Offense needs to get a kick in the ass. They have sucked every since Schaub went down and yesterday was rock bottom for the unit. AJ’s hammies need to stop being little bitches and heal up. The turnovers from Tate and Foster are UNACCEPTABLE if they are supposed to be the two guys we rely on for offense. Yates decision making needs to improve (like running out of bounds to take a 2 yard sack instead of throwing it away). Also missing big plays like the pass to OD or throwing to Dressen in the second red zone possession instead of hitting Jacoby for the give me first down

17.5 points per game isn’t going to get it done people. Yates,Tate, and Foster need to step their game up or things are just going to get worse.

Now for the defense. Yesterday 14 points off turnovers hurt tremendously. You have to hold them to FG’s at least once out of two tries. They were flat early as a unit and JJow as an individual needs to pick it up a little. He’s been picked on the last two games and he’s given up some big plays. You’re the leader of the secondary as well as the best player in the unit. Run defense yesterday was just wow awful. 160+ yards guys? And when if was finally 21-13 you couldn’t stop the Panthers at all. Not even hold them to a FG.

Overall this game smells of celebration hang over and hopefully it woke everybody up after turning in the ugliest performance of the YEAR yesterday at home.

Oh and Rackers. I don’t know WTF got into you but you better get out of whatever funk you’re in. Kris Brown flashbacks don’t put me in a good mood.

Prediction: 11-5 AFC South champions.

by Ethan Matz on Dec 19, 2011 12:38 PM CST reply actions  

On a side note:

Connor Barwin just sacked Gabbert again at a local Denny’s.

Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, Jacoby Ford, Kevin Walters, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!

by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 19, 2011 12:56 PM CST reply actions   1 recs

Gabbert was quoted before the sack as screaming in surprised terror

“Whoa there motherfucker!”

Prediction: 11-5 AFC South champions.

by Ethan Matz on Dec 19, 2011 1:00 PM CST up reply actions  

Comes with triple bacon

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 2:27 PM CST up reply actions  

a sack of donut holes

in reference to the scoring production of one potty mouth QB

Kubiak: "The hand gestures I'm getting as I drive around town are a lot better this year than in previous seasons."

by MeMongo on Dec 19, 2011 6:07 PM CST up reply actions  

Heh, I ate at Denneys this morning

and I’ve had power diarrhea all afternoon. Crapping out pure hydrochloric acid. I’d rather wipe with a pinecone

If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan

by professortex on Dec 19, 2011 7:39 PM CST up reply actions  

What did you order?

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 20, 2011 8:40 AM CST up reply actions  

eggs, bacon and hash browns

If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan

by professortex on Dec 20, 2011 9:52 AM CST up reply actions  

I think the eggs were bad

No more over-easy unless I do it myself

If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan

by professortex on Dec 20, 2011 9:53 AM CST up reply actions  

I knew there was a reason I always get mine scrambled...

"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." -- Benjamin Disraeli

"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers." -- Homer Simpson

"There is no rehab for stupid." -- Chris Rock

Never try to baptize a cat.

by texanslady on Dec 20, 2011 11:27 AM CST up reply actions  

OT, Can someone please tell me what local station will be carrying Thursday's game for those of us without NFLN? THANK YOU.

"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." -- Benjamin Disraeli

"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers." -- Homer Simpson

"There is no rehab for stupid." -- Chris Rock

Never try to baptize a cat.

by texanslady on Dec 19, 2011 1:18 PM CST reply actions  

Thanks. That tells me what I need to know.

"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." -- Benjamin Disraeli

"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers." -- Homer Simpson

"There is no rehab for stupid." -- Chris Rock

Never try to baptize a cat.

by texanslady on Dec 19, 2011 3:55 PM CST up reply actions  

UT we lost because you changed up the routine

just because we won the afc south title you had to go and change up last weeks redzone review thanks for bringing back the review all will be right now

by jags52982 on Dec 19, 2011 2:40 PM CST reply actions  

And I thought I was superstitious.

Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.

Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.

I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!

Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.

by UprootedTexan on Dec 19, 2011 2:47 PM CST up reply actions  

lol i haven't shaved since our week 6 loss on october 16

now i’m not sure what to do i don’t think i should shave just going to keep going with my routine which consists of pretty much just reading every brb article

by jags52982 on Dec 19, 2011 2:51 PM CST up reply actions  

I'm really not interested in hearing about your junk

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 4:49 PM CST up reply actions  

I shaved my beard for what it's worth.

It wasn’t a playoff beard though; more of a winning streak beard. I think I got started one week after the streak. Now I’m rocking a losing streak mustache, and thank Durga we’re on a short week against the Colts. I deal in a bit of customer service, and I think it’s a bit off-putting.

by Nashmeister on Dec 19, 2011 5:17 PM CST up reply actions  

not rideable?

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 20, 2011 8:41 AM CST up reply actions  

All i know is

I feel bad for the Colts. They have no idea what is about to be unleashed upon them Thursday.

Madame de Staël once said, "One must choose in life between boredom and suffering." De Staël is dead but there is always an alternative.
This is where the cool is.

by Antho10000 on Dec 19, 2011 4:46 PM CST reply actions  

Is something similar to what was unleashed in week 1?

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 19, 2011 4:50 PM CST up reply actions  

Don't know why they wouldn't; It was already unleashed on them back in September.

I look for this game to be closer. The Colts no doubt enjoyed winning on Sunday and will be in the mood to do it again.

by FreedomRide on Dec 19, 2011 4:52 PM CST up reply actions  

Off-Topic When do playoffs start?

Hi Guys,

Is there supposed to be a bye week before the playoffs. When do they start?

by ketanp on Dec 19, 2011 5:15 PM CST reply actions  

sometimes

what you need is on page 2, most never look there

Division Champion Houston Texans
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
The next time I read about our 3rd string QB, I might just Choke a Bitch.
2-0 Starting Rookie QB, get it right.

by WreckNTexan on Dec 19, 2011 7:18 PM CST up reply actions  

I tried and failed, so I asked.

I even went to NFL.com but all they have is 2010 post season schedule not this years.

by ketanp on Dec 19, 2011 10:17 PM CST up reply actions  

There is no bye week except for the top two seeds.

Playoffs start immediately after week 17. Not sure what the date for week 17 is but the Saturday and Sunday after will have the Wild card games. 1 AFC 1 NFC game Saturday adn the same Sunday.

Prediction: 11-5 AFC South champions.

by Ethan Matz on Dec 20, 2011 1:46 AM CST up reply actions  

Playoffs!!! You're talking about PLAYOFFS?????

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 20, 2011 8:43 AM CST up reply actions  

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