Falcons v. Texans: This Week In The Red Zone, or Hooray for Weejay!
From a football perspective, Saturday completely and utterly sucked for me. My Cougars were one win away from their first BCS bowl game. All they had to do was beat a team they were double-digit favorites against. What did they do? Coog fans know. They crapped the bed. They Coog'd it. Meaning that to salvage the weekend in football for me, I needed a Texans win, because I wasn't sure I could live with both the Coogs blowing it and the Texans losing, especially on this particular Sunday.
With T.J. Yates under center and facing a Falcons team that I didn't like our chances against even under the best of circumstances, I didn't know what to expect from the only football team that matters.
And then I watched "Weejay" play. He was poised, he was making all the throws you want to see from your quarterback, and yes, a few you don't. Most of all, he looked like he belonged there. To be honest, I was never entirely sold on Matt Leinart being the solution. I was optimistic, sure, but during the Jaguars game, he just didn't look right out there, kind of like a water buffalo playing the trombone.
Weejay Yates really came through Sunday in ways I would never have expected a fifth-round rookie to do, and against a damn good Falcons team to boot. And now he's got one win and one save to show for it. Will he lead the Texans to the promised land in February? Well, I'm not putting money on it, but weirder things have happened, right?
In the meantime, let's see how our beloved Texans fared in the red zone this week.
First Quarter
First Red Zone Drive
The Texans' first red zone drive begins with a lovely 20 yard pass to Andre Johnson to put them at the 17 yard line.
It's first-and-10 at the Falcons' 17 when Weejay hands off to Ben Tate for a gain of two yards.
On second-and-eight, Yates throws an incomplete pass intended for Kevin Walter.
Third-and-eight comes up and, frankly,I still don't know what the hell happened. The box scores claim that Yates was sacked and fumbled the ball, regardless of the fact that his hand was coming forward, and the ball leaving his hand was moving FORWARD. Despite logic, the refs ruled it a fumble that the Falcons recovered and almost took the length of the field, save for offsetting illegal substitution penalties which somehow landed the Falcons at their own 35 yard line.
Time Spent in Red Zone: :50
End Result: Complete and Utter Bulls**t! I mean, a "fumble" recovered by the Falcons, ending the drive.
Score: Atlanta 0 - Houston 0 - Referees 7
Second Quarter
Second Red Zone Drive
To wash the taste of abject stupidity out of our mouths, and our minds, we move on to the second drive, which comes on the heels of a monster 50-yard pass by T.J. Yates to Andre Johnson.
On first-and-goal at the Falcons' four-yard line, the Texans run Foster off the left guard's side for a gain of one yard.
Second-and-goal for the Texans has them running the same play for a gain of no yards for Foster's efforts.
On third-and-goal, Yates threw a quick three-yard shot to Joel Dreessen, who hammers his way into the end zone for the score.
Time Spent in Red Zone: 1:28
End Result: Joel Dreessen breaks the plane and scores a Texans Touchdown!
Score: Atlanta 0 - Houston 10 - Referees 7
Fourth Quarter
Third Red Zone Drive
Our final appearance in the red zone came at the end of a long, and I mean long, clock-eating drive.
On first-and-10 at the Falcons' 18, Foster gained one yard on the run.
Second-and-nine had the Texans rush Foster to the left side, gaining no yardage on the play.
The Texans faced third-and-nine and Yates, doing his best Matt Schaub impersonation, ran the ball for seven yards.
Then the Texans faced a critical fourth-and-one. Foster takes the ball and gains seven yards on the play and, more importantly, a fresh set of downs.
On first-and-goal from the Falcons' two-yard line, Foster got another hard-earned yard to move the ball to the one.
Then on second-and-goal, Foster got the carry again and rushed to the right for that last needed yard and the touchdown.
Time Spent in Red Zone: 3:26
End Result: Arian Foster takes a bow in the end zone after scoring a Texans Touchdown!
Score: Atlanta 10 - Houston 17 - Referees 7
Final Results
Number of Red Zone Trips: 3
Total Amount of Time in Red Zone: 5:44
Average Amount of Time in Red Zone: 1:54
Red Zone Efficiency: 2/3 (67%)
Scores in Red Zone: 2 TDs (Foster, Dreessen)
Next week, the Texans take on Andy Dalton and the Cincinnati Bengals, with a chance to put the division away once and for all!
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'Cause it's cute
Side note: Those refs can go fuck themselves those fucking fucks.
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
by Foster Child on Dec 5, 2011 10:42 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
Well, there IS some risk:
"Gut Feeling"
Gastrointerologists confirm the human gut contains no rational thoughts.
What it IS full of is fairly well known.
Rec'd
For 3 fucks in one sentence.
Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!
by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 6, 2011 7:39 AM CST up reply actions
This.
And frankly, it amused me.
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Dec 6, 2011 9:00 AM CST up reply actions
Um
Great Red Zone, once again! (psst! correct 2/3 to 3/3 maybe?)
Awesome stuff!
Follow the invalid toad.
Well, he could actually have correct math here
Technically, we had 3 trips to the red zone and came away with points in all 3. However, he could be referring to TDs per trips, thus 2/3. So it could be 2/3 with a Red Zone Efficiency rating of 100%. Yeah…I’m sticking up for him. He works hard, and deserves credit….
Aww who the hell am I kidding. Dude f’ed up. Hahahaha. :P
-- "...I was sick, napping, and then woke up and came to the computer to read a note from the Gingered Angel of Doom..." Martek - Dynamo Theory Blog
Nah...
I think it’s that even though we had 3 trips, that 1st was such utter bullshit, it didn’t really count. And though we didn’t get any points in it, it shouldn’t count against them either
With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!
by RaY210 on Dec 5, 2011 11:52 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
He gave the points to the refs
So I guess that counts
Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts?
by Rocket94 on Dec 6, 2011 12:01 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
"t.j. yates has the hairline of a champion"
i hope this is true
- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.
"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers
by NoSafetiesNeeded on Dec 5, 2011 11:50 PM CST reply actions
So long as it's not a hairline fracture, yes
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
I am seriously this close (--)
to writing professional yet tumultuous letter to the head of officiating, and asking him in a passive aggressive way to either fire/fine/suspend the officiating crew from the Steelers and Falcons games vs the Texans. I have seen way too many times this season that we have to play the zebras and the opposing team. I mean he reviewed it for fives seconds and upheld an obvious incomplete pass. and this isnt his first time.
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
It was Clete Blakeman for the Steelers game, and Bill Leavy for Falcons
Both pretty bad, but Bill was abysmal. I hope we get news back on Wednesday that he has been suspended for the rest of the season after failing to overturn that call. I’m sure he is concerned how he would look for overturning his own call, but he’s going to look THAT much worse when the league reviews the film.
Again, Leavy is either INEPT or CORRUPT, because being blind isn’t an option for performing as a ref.
With the incomplete passes the Falcons were dropping late in the game, our section kept yelling “FUMBLE!!!” ROFL
I can tell you firsthand that Bill Leavy is one of the biggest fucking imbeciles among the refs.
He also called Super Bowl XL, not coincidentally enough.
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Dec 6, 2011 9:02 AM CST up reply actions
I was just about
to post that they were different crews… but almost equally as poor.
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
This whole Weejay Yates things is still so cool to me...
I’m a UNC grad… grew up in Lake Jackson going to Houston games… ahhhhhh so delicious.
Hey, chin up, buddy!
At least MICHIGAN is going to a BCS game!
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
^^this^^
That was Boise State’s game, but BCS committee asshats intervened on behalf of fans that travel in greater numbers than Boise’s. What a joke. The BCS nauseates me more and more every year.
"The best thing about being a cynic......is that you are never surprised." ~Anonymous
"Don't get yourself a bunch of tricky plays.......get yourself a bunch of tricky players." `Paul "Bear" Bryant
by Christopher H on Dec 6, 2011 1:44 AM CST up reply actions
All the people that count will profit and the rest will forget about it for another year
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
Not if people just dont go to the bowls
but we all know that wont happen.
Well, I will say about that
If you watch some of the weaker bowl games, sometimes the attendance is way down and I wonder how they make money. I suppose corporate sponsorships are the biggest moneymakers.
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
Joke or not.
It’s still a BCS game. And, given where Michigan was a couple years ago, I’ll fucking take it.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
Who?
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Dec 6, 2011 9:02 AM CST up reply actions
You might know them as
The Real Program Who Wasn’t Done In By A Single Loss.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
Watching NFL Network
Someone needs to tell Warren Sapp that its Jacoby Jones not Jacoby Ford.
I wish we had Jacoby Ford
But he’s just too small for this offense
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Dec 6, 2011 2:20 AM CST up reply actions
He's not the only one to do that
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
James Brown
Did that on CBS.
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
tj yates new nickname:
rowdy max hooker!
by Danpassurweenie on Dec 6, 2011 11:41 AM CST reply actions
Saw your birthday cake
on 2DH, UT. Very much awesome!
Wifey makes designer cakes and my bday is in January. Hope you don’t mind if I have her copy the design.
Follow the invalid toad.
I was thinking like you
I showed it to my wife and said; I want this for my b-day, Jan 9
Beer, it's not just for breakfast anymore

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