Report: Texans Waive Kellen Clemens, Will Supposedly Sign Jeff Garcia (UPDATE: And Matt Turk)
by Tim on Dec 6, 2011 3:51 PM CST
in News
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PrintThe Texans are going to sign quarterback Jeff Garcia to replace quarterback Kellen Clemens, who was placed on waivers today.
Garcia, who played for quarterbacks coach Greg Knapp at San Francisco, worked out for the Texans in each of the last two weeks. They wanted two veterans to play behind rookie T.J. Yates. Jake Delhomme was signed last week and was the No. 2 quarterback for Sunday’s 17-10 victory over Atlanta.
Here's my working theory: Gary Kubiak has finally figured out time travel. He's going to set the DeLorean for 2006, and his Houston Texans are going to SMOKE opponents with their depth at QB. Granted, T.J. Yates won't be able to drive yet, but that's a minor detail. Just you wait.
Tip o' the cap to Jonathan Fosburgh for the FanPost inspiration.
UPDATE: In the same story linked above, McClain is now also reporting that the Texans have signed Matt Turk to replace Brett Hartmann. My initial reaction is twofold: (1) We're about to really start appreciating Hartmann if we didn't already; and (2) I guess Chad Stanley wasn't available.
Texans vs Bengals coverage
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T.J. Yates won’t be able to drive yet, but that’s a minor detail. Just you wait.
LOL
#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion
But who will punt?
I mean, seriously why haven’t we signed some defunct british soccer player who will smoke cigarettes whilst kicking?
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
by Taco Joe on Dec 6, 2011 3:54 PM CST reply actions 4 recs
yeah any soccer player .. doesn't have to be a Donovan or something ;-)
call in Brian Ching!
#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion
Brian ching
the double threat!
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
We're never punting again.
#4downoffenserevolutionFTW
"Lord, beer me strength."
by TexansDC on Dec 6, 2011 4:01 PM CST up reply actions 4 recs
im down for this
- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.
"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers
by NoSafetiesNeeded on Dec 6, 2011 4:33 PM CST up reply actions
Konserviak is dead!!!!
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Dec 7, 2011 11:06 AM CST up reply actions
Rec'd for Replacements reference
On the same topic did anyone constantly think of the movie while watching the Chiefs?
by Big Red Texan on Dec 6, 2011 4:15 PM CST up reply actions
The Chiefs? Aren't we almost there?
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 6, 2011 4:16 PM CST up reply actions
Not...
until I see a Sumo wrestler playing guard.
by Big Red Texan on Dec 6, 2011 4:17 PM CST up reply actions
I have sent in my
resume…
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
“The football’s like a one-man cold to Clifford Franklin. Clifford Franklin’s the only man catchin’ it, Clifford Franklin’s the only man comin’ down with it.”
"He walked 18."
"New league record!"
"Struck out 18."
"Another new league record! In addition he hit the sportswriter, the public address announcer, the bull mascot twice...also new league records! But, Joe, this guy's got some serious shit."
by Elephande on Dec 6, 2011 6:43 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
"Pain Heals, Chicks Dig Scars, Glory Lasts Forever"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6E4Oy6pFKQ
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Dec 7, 2011 12:41 AM CST up reply actions
The jailhouse scene cracks me up the most though.
I will survive!
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
My favorite was the "Kick Ass" play after halftime
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Dec 7, 2011 3:24 PM CST up reply actions
That's my second favorite.
That was the first movie I replaced after the divorce. lulz
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
rec'd for replacements reference lol
"San Antonio is the best falling down team in the league"- Bill Worrell
by TheLastDynasty on Dec 6, 2011 7:50 PM CST up reply actions
John Madden had some pretty funny commentary on that movie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEGq6rNDOlk
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Dec 7, 2011 12:46 AM CST up reply actions
I really think Kubes just said
“screw it, we’re going to get experience for now. I don’t want to have to bring another n00b up from the primordial ooze.”
I think planning in case we get to the Super Bowl =).
#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion
We can call them
The DeLorean brothers :-)
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 6, 2011 4:03 PM CST via mobile reply actions
I love it.
I think Kubes is sold on Weejay as Shaub’s successor. He’s doing everything he can to surround him with positive influences and role models.
Keep your friends close
And your enemies closer?
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 6, 2011 4:10 PM CST up reply actions
maybe Turk was injured last time he was here?
so much for signing a soccer player ;-(
#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion
...
He knows our ZBS?
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 6, 2011 4:18 PM CST up reply actions
LOL
how would that matter for a punter?
hehe I see the sarcasm font.
=)
#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion
Link?
If that’s true, then it would appear Gary Kubiak has decided to go for it on every fourth down.
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
by Tim on Dec 6, 2011 4:17 PM CST up reply actions
I saw it on Pancakes' twitter a little bit ago.
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 6, 2011 4:18 PM CST up reply actions
/laughing...
That’s the ONLY possible conclusion…
“And Neil Rackers is lining up for his THIRD 65-yard-field-goal attempt of the day… We’re not sure exactly what Coach Kubiak is thinking…”
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
what I mean is maybe Turk will play better now that he's feeling better
=)
I miss his yellow shoes
#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion
He was an upgrade over Stanley, yes?
Granted, he’s probably as old now as Stanley was then.
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 6, 2011 4:19 PM CST up reply actions
I guess I got spoiled
with Hartmann’s accuracy and depth. Not to say he was 100% on every punt, but he could pin it down on the 5 or 10 with a lot of hang time.
Besides, he slings opposing ST players into the dirt :)
Follow the invalid toad.
by Gerbillogic on Dec 6, 2011 4:29 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Yes, he was an upgrade over Stanley...
…years ago. He was not good last year, and got cut from the Jags this year.
This is disturbing. Hard to believe there isn’t someone better out there. Remember, they cut Turk and didn’t even have his replacement yet at that time.
by JBal on Dec 6, 2011 4:47 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
I wonder if the bigger consideration is Turk's familiarity with Rackers and holding for FG's and PATs?
I strongly suspect this was at play in the decision matrix. Less confidence in Turk’s punting ability but more confidence in his ability not to screw up a hold.
I distinctly recall a few instances of Rackers appearing to yell at Hartmann after some missed kicks earlier in the year.
yeah that's what I just heard
that Turk at least knows how to hold the ball for Rackers to kick it.
Bringing Turk in to hold the ball is better than getting a total unknown.
#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion
"We put the 'K' in Kwality!"
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
I really like this word
now if I can just figure out how to use it!
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
He's probably as old now as DIRT was then.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
I miss...
1. his kicking wildly at a football on the ground and missing. Even though he kicks footballs for a living.
2. the crafty way he used white athletic tape to forge a cross on his facemask. I assume he is religious.
3. his kicking from the fifty into the endzone for a 30 yard net.
4. and yes, his yellow shoes.
Thank you for beating me to #1...
Folks were about to start using my own dead horses on me for harping on that one.
What a schlongsack.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
THoR
3rd string TE
2nd string FB
4th string QB
2nd string P
He’s gonna get in the game one way or the other DAMMIT!
by Its Gonna Happen on Dec 6, 2011 4:20 PM CST via mobile reply actions
2nd string LS.
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 6, 2011 4:21 PM CST up reply actions
God forbid the Punter and LS went down in the same game.
He would have to hike the ball to himself.
Never bring a BB gun to a lightsaber fight.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rkm0fut8C30
Just think...
we could have waived the LS and kept Clemens as the fifth string QB.
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 6, 2011 4:25 PM CST up reply actions
You tryin to say Jesus Christ cant hit a curveball?!!?!
by Its Gonna Happen on Dec 6, 2011 4:37 PM CST via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
one can hope
I was thinking THoR as holder for Rackers, it would force the opposition to respect the fake. and also getting one of them crazy ass Aussies to punt, fearless in coverage but may be sketchy on the rules about murdering opponents trying to return kicks.
Beer, it's not just for breakfast anymore
if it happens on the field
u can’t be charged with murder right?
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
There was an instance in the early 20th century of a DA running onto the field mid-game and threatening all the players with charges of assault and battery.
"He walked 18."
"New league record!"
"Struck out 18."
"Another new league record! In addition he hit the sportswriter, the public address announcer, the bull mascot twice...also new league records! But, Joe, this guy's got some serious shit."
Oz Oz Oz
hehe put me down as a fan of crazy Aussies.
=D
#Texans2011 — Where reality and dreams collide!
~~ Fuzion
Story Updated
To reflect the apparent Matt Turk signing.
If nothing else, this gave me an opportunity to make a Chad Stanley joke.
Looking forward to a day when being a Texans fan doesn't mean that April is the highlight of my season...
You got it!
We get to see at least one shot of THIS every Sunday!
My thoughts are like Brian Cushing on the field: Everywhere.
by f22a4bandit on Dec 6, 2011 4:41 PM CST up reply actions 6 recs
Stu. Nning.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
thats jeff garcias
Wife
by ArianNation713 on Dec 6, 2011 5:01 PM CST via iPhone app up reply actions
Mrs. Garcia
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
Beautiful woman...although not a fan of the fake bewbies.
I know, I know, I know. You don’t have to tell me. Although it appears I am being critical, I am not. It, nay, THEY, simple detract from an otherwise achingly beautiful woman IMO.
by USMC_JA on Dec 6, 2011 5:28 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
I actually...
wont fuck a woman with fake breasts… they make my penis go limp
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
Amigo, I'd NEVER go that far...
But I respect your limitations. ;-)
you've probably only felt the really hard fake ones
i prefer natural myself but not all fake ones feel like basketballs
by jags52982 on Dec 6, 2011 7:19 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
Surgeon, placement, and type of implant can all make a big difference.
However, everything else being equal, my subjective preference is al naturale. The above pic’s sure seem to portray Ms. Garcia’s aftermarket additions as the round, hard, baseball-under-the-skin, variety. The rest of her makes up for it, but given my druthers, keep’em God-given….absent extenuating circumstances.
Yes
and any other positions that I can think of.
Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!
by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 7, 2011 3:42 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
The only bewbs that make me go limp
are man bewwwbs
"San Antonio is the best falling down team in the league"- Bill Worrell
by TheLastDynasty on Dec 6, 2011 7:53 PM CST up reply actions
and
banana boobs
Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!
by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 7, 2011 8:24 AM CST up reply actions
/shudders
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
How do you feel about
National Geographic Boobs?
Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!
by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 7, 2011 8:29 AM CST up reply actions
36 years ago it was all I had, so I was curious
34 years ago I found my dad’s stash of better mags, and Nat Geo was left in the dust
20 years ago the Internet started pumping out more material than I cared to see and paper mags were made obsolete
16 years ago I got married and have the real deal, so none of these really matter any more. Still fun to see at times, but the Nat Geo stuff is bleh for sure
5 years ago
Boobs weren’t having their usual effect so he had to start taking Viagra just to get it up
1 year ago. Sex is the last thing on his mind. Where did he leave that denture glass??
I'm a man!! I'm forty!!
Frankly if she doesn't have eight of 'em I'm not impressed.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
by DilloTex on Dec 7, 2011 9:49 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
gotta agree with you
id rather have a natural girl any day than one with fake tits. i’d rather fuck a blow up doll. a lot cheaper and at least i know where she has been
- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.
"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers
by NoSafetiesNeeded on Dec 6, 2011 8:09 PM CST up reply actions
Who the f*ck cares if they are real or not?
She probably also whitens her teeth,
fake bakes,
plucks he eye brows.
All of which is not “as the good Lord made her.”
That being said, if given the opportunity?
Attention!
by memyselfini on Dec 7, 2011 1:01 AM CST up reply actions 2 recs
/pauses humping on arm of sofa long enough to rec in agreement
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
Depends
If you’re only with her for the hot bod and good time then go for it, but eventually those cones are gonna look gross when the her fake baked skin turns to leather and those bleached teeth fall out.
Forgive my bluntness to the ladies on this site……you bang the fake, materialistic chicks but you marry the real ones. Unless you’re Jeff Garcia, then you marry the playmate so T.O. can’t call you gay anymore.
I'm a man!! I'm forty!!
Women get fake boobs for three reasons.
1. They work or intend to work in an industry where such enhancements will fatten their pocketbook. Porn, Magazine modeling, topless dancing, etc.
2. Their world is a psychological hot mess of insecurity issues whereupon they engage in plastic surgery to compensate.
3. They somehow develop as shallow, materialistic manipulators whose real interest in cosmetic enhancements is as a tool to attract equally shallow men with equally deep pockets.
The first one I totally get. More power to them.. The second I pity, since often they turn out to be more attractive and worth knowing than they think they are. The third I despise. They are usually 100% of snotty, arrogant bitch.
That said, I’m down with the first two. Especially if the doctor had skills.
"The best thing about being a cynic......is that you are never surprised." ~Anonymous
"Don't get yourself a bunch of tricky plays.......get yourself a bunch of tricky players." `Paul "Bear" Bryant
by Christopher H on Dec 7, 2011 2:54 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
4. They have something that they don't like that can be made to look like they want it to.
Why is the assumption made that any woman that chooses to have cosmetic surgery is inherently flawed?
I sincerely appreciate all of their efforts and sacrifice. I think some of them may get carried away and have some SERIOUS need for “design” consultation, but thankfully we still live in a society that grants them the freedom to control their own bodies (so far).
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
I don't think he said that
I didn’t read anywhere in those three reasons where he said, or implied, that the women who have inhancements are flawed. Seemed to me he was just stating their motivations.
Women have been ‘enhancing’ themselves since prehistoric times (makeup, neckstretching, headboards, lip-rings, piercings etc. for example). The point where a particular man is no longer impressed (lit.) is purely subjective.
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
#2 sounds pretty flawed...
…perhaps I’m misinterpreting.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
Its a semantical misinterpretation
You would be correct if he was referring to a specific woman. But, you can not deny that there are ‘some’ women who do fit this description. In other words, he is saying #1 ‘or’ #2, ‘or’ #3, …not #1 ‘and’ #2, ‘and’ #3.
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
by professortex on Dec 7, 2011 11:08 AM CST up reply actions
So as long as we are being semantically precise here, professor...
Your statement:
“I didn’t read anywhere in those three reasons where he said, or implied,…”[Emphasis mine] and to which I was responding… would appear to be inaccurate, if #2 indicates a flaw…
I’m pretty comfortable with my English language skills and the phrase “hot mess” communicates a bit of a flaw to my luxurious, flowing ears.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
by DilloTex on Dec 7, 2011 11:56 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I do not disagree with this.
I was meerly pointing out that "the’ specific women of topic may not be #2, in which case #2 would not be relevant. This was in response to your statement:
Why is the assumption made that any woman that chooses to have cosmetic surgery is inherently flawed?
Just so you know, I have followed your posts for some time and I have a great deal of respect and appreciation for your wit, logic, and English skills, so please don’t take offense.
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
by professortex on Dec 7, 2011 12:19 PM CST up reply actions
/hugs all around...
…and there was semantic imprecision in my original comment in that I didn’t make it clear that while I was responding to a specific comment, my comment was more aimed at a perceived general stigma associated with cosmetic surgery in various forms.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
Ahh, an excellent point
And alas, there will always be those who stygmatize in error.
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
by professortex on Dec 7, 2011 12:50 PM CST up reply actions
He would have been more accurate if headed his post
“Women get fake boobs for [one of] three reasons”.
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
by professortex on Dec 7, 2011 11:11 AM CST up reply actions
Face it, Dillo
The ones that get them because their original set are somehow flawed (like severely flat chested, as one of my closest friends was….even though I still thought she was super hot without) are the minority. Most woman get them for shallow purposes.
That said, it’s their body and they can do as they please. I’m just glad there are other dudes out there like me that don’t find them attractive in most cases.
I'm a man!! I'm forty!!
Again, apologies to the ladies
I realize we are in ultra chauvinistic territory here.
I'm a man!! I'm forty!!
This is my gf.
Won’t listen when I tell her she looks JUST fine with the pair god gave her. Still wants a boob job.
/shrugs
/doesn’t have to worry about that unless she wins the lottery lulz
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
The friend that I am referring to was the definition of flat chested
But was straight up fine as hell. I used to tell her that it made here even sexier, but it was a self esteem issue with her so she went ahead and got a new pair.
To her credit though, she found a really good doctor in Dallas and only went with a B size, and she got the most naturally shaped ones she could. I gotta admit, they look pretty real. So in her case it was a good thing for her self esteem, but again, she’s the minority.
/treads dangerously close to full on sexism
I'm a man!! I'm forty!!
I wasn't implying that all are inherently flawed
So perhaps the phrase “hot mess” was overstating it a bit. But what you list as #4 is most often attributable to insecurity. That doesn’t make them wrong, merely misguided by stereotypes, imo. If they were secure there wouldn’t be an issue of them not liking it.
It is not flawed to be insecure. In the case of women, in fact, our society and media tends to make them feel that way systemically when in fact so many are beautiful already. We men are sometimes responsible ourselves by virtue of the fact that a measurable portion of us pay serious attention to category #1.
I was in no way implying that it is wrong for them to feel that way, merely unnecessary and unfortunate as I like them just the way they are. I should have clarified in a better way. Variety is the spice of life.
"The best thing about being a cynic......is that you are never surprised." ~Anonymous
"Don't get yourself a bunch of tricky plays.......get yourself a bunch of tricky players." `Paul "Bear" Bryant
by Christopher H on Dec 7, 2011 3:05 PM CST up reply actions
I just don't think that "not liking" something = insecure about it.
When I was a senior in high school I was 6’ 2" 175# and playing soccer three hours every day. But I had “love handles” that I just could not run, sit up, or exercise off. I didn’t like them. If I had had the option to make them go away, I would have.
That said, I’m not advocating carving or injecting away all our problems and I acknowledge that there are some folks out there that have had some seriously flawed body images put into their heads.
I’m just glad that if it is important enough to them to pay that kind of money and endure that kind of discomfort to change it that the option is available to them.
I also celebrate the differences in “tastes” that all men and women possess…
We are in agreement “Variety is the spice of life…” Love what ya’ got.
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
If I can touch em
they are real.
Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!
by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 7, 2011 8:26 AM CST up reply actions 3 recs
don't worry
as you get older you will learn not to be so damn picky. As a wise man once said, its all pink on the inside.
I wish we could hire coaches without "having grown up in Houston" being a job requirement.
Garcia only married her because she plays a great game of cribbage.
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
It's called "Google"...
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
I'd "Google" her
Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!
by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 7, 2011 8:28 AM CST up reply actions
clemens extremely hot garbage
shoulda never been signed.. like this move of garcia, he could manage a game if necessary.. dont want to see it tho
I wana say hi to my haters, stay on your job ;) Go Houston sports!!
This has probably been said before
But does anyone else feel like Texans’ QBs are like Spinal Tap drummers?
Have we lost one yet to spontaneous combustion?
Follow the invalid toad.
by Gerbillogic on Dec 6, 2011 4:46 PM CST reply actions 5 recs
Or NWH managers...
Matt Leinart = Whitey Delucca. But, uh, we were out of town when he got hurt.
by JBal on Dec 6, 2011 4:50 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
I think he was an implosion.
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 6, 2011 7:52 PM CST up reply actions
Garcia
Is for sure better than Clemmens. And both he and Delhomme can give TJ playoff advice. I just hope neither gets any playing time. Quick side note, my ideal SB match up: Texans-49ers. I think it’d be great in a year where all these passing records are likely gonna be broke that 2 teams would make it on string D and power running game.
by BricAM on Dec 6, 2011 4:59 PM CST via mobile reply actions
If every Matt gets injured
the Texans need to sign Matt Millen ASAP.
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
He can wash someone's balls or something
Then get injured…
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
by Barryfromtexas on Dec 6, 2011 7:31 PM CST up reply actions
Now wouldn't that be something
getting injured washing someone’s balls.
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
Will Matt Turk please hurry up and get on IR so the Texans can go out and get a real punter?
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
Matt Dodge???
Wait, that would be tempting fate with all the Matts we would have on IR by then
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Dec 7, 2011 11:14 AM CST up reply actions
Who are you talking about?
If you're a fan of basketball, watch a movie called Sonicsgate. It's free, just google it.
2011 Vancouver Canucks - The closest feeling to winning I've ever had.
Oh, I feel silly.
I misread it as “Another Matt hit the IR”
If you're a fan of basketball, watch a movie called Sonicsgate. It's free, just google it.
2011 Vancouver Canucks - The closest feeling to winning I've ever had.
Carolina's front softening up...
The Carolina Panthers placed starting defensive tackles Sione Fua and Terrell McClain on injured reserve on Tuesday.
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
This bodes well for us in a couple weeks.
Cam scares me. Best to play ball control and keep that kid off the field. But, cincy first. We are going ti have our hands full this weekend. Carolina next week.
I am not too concerned...
I trust Wade to give the Red Rifle fits. I am a little leary of Carolina. After we clinch, I expect at least one ‘exhale’ game where we completely shit the bed. I’m thinking this will be it. Hell it may even be Indy. OK, just playing. It will be Carolina.
If this were any other team I'd be with you
I just think the Texans play with such a chip on their shoulder from past seasons, the lack of attention we get, and the doubt that everyone in the league throws at us. I think if we can win Sunday, we’ll stay on a roll to finish the regular season with a bang
"San Antonio is the best falling down team in the league"- Bill Worrell
by TheLastDynasty on Dec 6, 2011 8:01 PM CST up reply actions
Unfortunately
We haven’t have a great track record after “emotional” wins. Hopefully that’s in the past.
I'm a man!! I'm forty!!
Wouldn't Jags v2 have been an emotional win as well?
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 7, 2011 4:05 PM CST up reply actions
Nah, not really
the Jags are meh. When I think of emotional wins I think of Indy last year opening day…….“IT’S THEIR SUPERBOWL!”…… PITT this year, and possibly ATL. Wins where we get hyper charged against teams we aren’t supposed to beat. You know, the games. If you notice, after all 3 of the games I refer to we usually lose the next. I’m hoping we got that out of our system
I'm a man!! I'm forty!!
just an idea
Have turk just throw the ball as hard as he can. Sure it’s an interception, but it’ll go more than twenty yards, and hey, it’s fourth down anyway.
by HTown80 on Dec 6, 2011 10:23 PM CST via mobile reply actions 2 recs
It might be considered a fumble by some referee crews!
My thoughts are like Brian Cushing on the field: Everywhere.
Incomplete pass thrown from the 2?
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 7, 2011 8:18 AM CST up reply actions
are you fucking kidding me with Turk?
Why not sign Tom Tupa instead?!?!
Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.
-Catch 22-
The point about him being a familiar holder for Rackers...
…is the best one I’ve heard.
/frantically trying to find sanity in this decision
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." - George Santayana
You'll find that sanity right after in
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Dec 7, 2011 1:38 AM CST up reply actions
/thinks about how he could punt 50 yards in high school
/picks up the phone to call Kubes and ask for a tryout
/sobers up and remembers that was 30 years ago
/wonders where the time went
"The best thing about being a cynic......is that you are never surprised." ~Anonymous
"Don't get yourself a bunch of tricky plays.......get yourself a bunch of tricky players." `Paul "Bear" Bryant
Goddammit, Koob!
Do you not realize Australian Rules Football is in its off-season?
There hundreds of berserk Aussie ballers down there who can run like a deer, kick the bejesus out of the ball and then rip a guy’s head off! Fake punt? You could run it on 3rd down!
SEND A SCOUT NOW!
Make sure he takes a suitcase full of 100s and a drug test kit with him.
"Gut Feeling"
Gastrointerologists confirm the human gut contains no rational thoughts.
What it IS full of is fairly well known.
I'm sure distant_texans_fan may have some suggestions
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Dec 7, 2011 11:17 AM CST up reply actions
I think I mentioned this either somewhere up above or on another post
Beer, it's not just for breakfast anymore
You can't tell me there's not a punter out there somewhere more serviceable than Turk.
Somebody call Ray Guy and ask for his DNA. We can get to work on some cloning.
"The best thing about being a cynic......is that you are never surprised." ~Anonymous
"Don't get yourself a bunch of tricky plays.......get yourself a bunch of tricky players." `Paul "Bear" Bryant
thats what i'm saying turk sucks and has sucked all this year
all in all a whole bunch of suck
Hmmm
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Dec 7, 2011 6:36 PM CST reply actions
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