Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Texans-Bengals

by Tim on Dec 9, 2011 4:38 PM CST in Three And Out

Did you know your Houston Texans have placed twelve (12) players on injured reserve this season? Let's take a look at who's on that dreaded list. After the jump, of course. Trust me: It's better to jump now via the link below than out a window in real life after you take a gander at the list.

WR Lestar Jean (Aug. 30)
G Darius Morris (Aug. 30)
G Shelley Smith (Aug. 30)
G Kasey Studdard (Aug. 30)
CB Roc Carmichael (Sept. 16)
T Rashad Butler (Sept. 22)
OLB Mario Williams (Oct. 12)
FS Dominique Barber (Oct. 19)
ILB Darryl Sharpton (Nov. 2)
QB Matt Schaub (Nov. 23)
QB Matt Leinart (Nov. 30)
P Brett Hartmann (Dec. 6)

Your Houston Texans have lost three starters (Super Mario, Schaub, and Hartmann), their top reserve on the offensive line (Butler), a key cog in their rotation at inside linebacker (Sharpton), their backup quarterback (Leinart), a solid special teams constributor (Barber), and assorted other depth ranging from "potentially" to "totally unlikely." That doesn't even count the extended time missed by Andre Johnson, and that meter's still running. Yet the Texans are still 9-3 and virtually assured of the first playoff appearance in franchise history, the first division title in franchise history (which in turn means the first home playoff game in the history of the team/Reliant Stadium), and the best single-season record in franchise history.

That's amazing. To do it with the personnel losses the Texans have weathered? Even more flabbergasting. No matter what happens in Cincinnati on Sunday, or at Reliant next Sunday, or in Indianapolis the following Thursday night (here's where you should be watching that game, by the way), or at Reliant on New Year's Day, or at any point in the postseason, the 2011 Houston Texans have battlefought admirably. It's both sad and stupendous that we can already say this has been the best season in franchise history.

What does this have to do with this week's edition of "Three and Out?" Nothing. Just felt like writing it before I relayed the details of my conversations with spiritual forces to you. Thought it might legitimize some of the tripe I'm about to spew.

Didn't work? Oh, well. On to the predictions!

1. You may have thought Matt Schaub felt the loss of Andre Johnson, but T.J. Yates will feel it even more. While Yates will take the occasional shot downfield (one of which will be a 30+ yard completion to Jacoby Jones) on Sunday, the bread and butter of his 219 yards passing will come from working the middle of the field to Owen Daniels and Joel Dreessen, along with the occasional screen pass to Arian Foster. Yates will throw another TD pass; he'll also throw his first interception of the season that's not called back due to holding by Dunta Robinson (or any other penalty).

2(a). As our friends at Cincy Jungle have observed, Andy Dalton (THE PRIDE OF KATY, TEXAS AND PERHAPS ITS MOST FAVORITE SON NOT NAMED "TIM") has struggled against top-five defenses this season, with a 73.2 passer rating and 8 INTs to match his 8 TDs. That trend will continue on Sunday, as Dalton will be sacked three times, hit several more, and picked off once by Johnathan Joseph in his Cincinnati homecoming (though A.J. Green will pull in a TD reception from Dalton).

2(b). I may be the only person who will appreciate that Houston's shutdown corner shares a surname with Katy High School's (and Andy Dalton's!) football coach.

2(c). I will definitely be the only person who pays homage to this coincidence by belting out a stirring rendition of "Katy, Our Katy," followed by "Bulls On Parade" before kickoff.

3. Jacoby Jones returns a punt for a touchdown. He's done it to the Bengals before.

PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: I cannot emphasize what a huge game this is for the Bengals. If they lose, their hopes of a wild card berth officially go on life support. They desperately need a win on Sunday. Their team has a bunch of good, young talent, and that will serve them very well in the coming years. Unfortunately, I don't think it'll be enough to overcome Houston's defense. Texans 20, Bengals 13.

Texans vs Bengals coverage

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Comments

My 3

1. We win

2. Titans lose

3. Playoff tickets go on sale

Follow me on twitter: @Super_Stud2100

by Antho10000 on Dec 9, 2011 4:41 PM CST reply actions 9 recs

My Preditions

1. At least one of Turks puts will be less than 30 yards.
2. Barwin will have 2 sacks and have a good game in his old collage city.
3. Cushing will bleed again.
4. We will NOT lose a player to injury.

Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, Jacoby Ford, Kevin Walters, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!

by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 9, 2011 4:49 PM CST reply actions

*punts

or how Turk kicks the ball puts may be correct.

Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, Jacoby Ford, Kevin Walters, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!

by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 9, 2011 4:51 PM CST up reply actions

putz?

Doesn’t really boom it does he?

'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert

by chuckiepoo on Dec 9, 2011 4:52 PM CST up reply actions

He could actually run and put the ball down

and would go further than actually kicking it.

Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, Jacoby Ford, Kevin Walters, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!

by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 9, 2011 4:53 PM CST up reply actions

putts

If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan

by professortex on Dec 9, 2011 5:53 PM CST up reply actions

You're really gonna go with #4???

That’s a very bold prediction! Boldest McBoldy prediction ever…

I've got nothin'...

by Bennyscrap on Dec 9, 2011 4:51 PM CST up reply actions

Maybe I shouldn't bet the house on it.

But I gotta hope, dammit!

Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, Jacoby Ford, Kevin Walters, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!

by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 9, 2011 4:54 PM CST up reply actions

what's he gonna do? Jinx us?

hahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahaah

now I’m sad..

Thank God for football!

by BattleRedHusker on Dec 9, 2011 11:07 PM CST up reply actions

I like it

I hope all of these hold true.

Especially about his collage city.

Follow the invalid toad.

by Gerbillogic on Dec 9, 2011 8:56 PM CST up reply actions

collage

I didn’t know he was an artist

by HTown80 on Dec 9, 2011 9:34 PM CST via mobile up reply actions

Same school this girl goes to

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg

"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell

I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right

by Barryfromtexas on Dec 9, 2011 10:05 PM CST up reply actions

Texans 24, Bengals 13

My name has been put on it. I just think our defense is too strong and that we’ll exploit their secondary regardless of having a fairly new starting QB. I predict TJ will have no interceptions and will continue to be interception free until th Panthers game. He’ll have 2 TDs and Arian will have 1.

I've got nothin'...

by Bennyscrap on Dec 9, 2011 4:50 PM CST reply actions

And have a good weekend.

I love you all.

I've got nothin'...

by Bennyscrap on Dec 9, 2011 4:50 PM CST up reply actions

We will make the other teams home crowd

boo them.
I just loved how fans in Tennessee were booing them.

Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, Jacoby Ford, Kevin Walters, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!

by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 9, 2011 5:03 PM CST up reply actions

That was spectacular

That’s up there with the 5 fans that were left at the end of the Bucs game

"San Antonio is the best falling down team in the league"- Bill Worrell

by TheLastDynasty on Dec 9, 2011 5:42 PM CST up reply actions

Up there for sure

But my grudge against the Tits runs much deeper, no doubt.

by brightshinies on Dec 9, 2011 11:56 PM CST up reply actions

tacks people

we love tits. we cannot stress this enough. no more calling them the tits

- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.

"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers

by NoSafetiesNeeded on Dec 10, 2011 1:12 AM CST up reply actions

That was the shizzle, bro

As Blaine Gabbert would say. I loved how all the BESF fans left and only Texans fans remained. Kubiak should’ve shot the bird at the owner’s box while walking off the field.

A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving

by Foster Child on Dec 9, 2011 5:46 PM CST up reply actions

Oh Lestar Jean

How far away the loss of an “up and coming WR” seems in perspective.

by chrisjay84 on Dec 9, 2011 5:07 PM CST reply actions

Jeff Maehl!

The next Wes Welker is ready1

"Gut Feeling"
Gastrointerologists confirm the human gut contains no rational thoughts.
What it IS full of is fairly well known.

by FreedomRide on Dec 9, 2011 6:22 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs

Anyone notice we're 1.5 underdogs?

by jkcheng122 on Dec 9, 2011 5:10 PM CST reply actions

Its better than last week.

Weren’t we three point dogs, at home to Atlanta?

How about I Punch-a-size your face for free! - Rod Farva

by distant_texans_fan on Dec 9, 2011 7:14 PM CST up reply actions

I got it at +3

The Texan Floater, you wanna flush it but you can't.
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
Whitest, I mean Best Front Seven in Football.

by WreckNTexan on Dec 9, 2011 7:19 PM CST up reply actions

OD interview coming up in a minute on NFLN.

"Gut Feeling"
Gastrointerologists confirm the human gut contains no rational thoughts.
What it IS full of is fairly well known.

by FreedomRide on Dec 9, 2011 5:16 PM CST reply actions

I can't believe the Texans are winning without Roc Carmichael

I think he has more passes defensed than Kareem.

A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving

by Foster Child on Dec 9, 2011 5:39 PM CST reply actions

Awright, that's just unfair.

Yes, KJ is an easy target for BRB abuse, but he has made some plays this year.

"Gut Feeling"
Gastrointerologists confirm the human gut contains no rational thoughts.
What it IS full of is fairly well known.

by FreedomRide on Dec 9, 2011 6:21 PM CST up reply actions

BLIND SQUIRREL!!!!

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 10, 2011 7:24 AM CST up reply actions

Use this more often

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."

by The Night Owl on Dec 10, 2011 3:53 PM CST up reply actions

I love the idea of a rookie WR against JoJo

it just seems right

"San Antonio is the best falling down team in the league"- Bill Worrell

by TheLastDynasty on Dec 9, 2011 5:45 PM CST reply actions

The Good Guys Win!

1. 24-10
2. The nation relizes what we have relized from week one.
3. We start to feel a funny feeling

My attitude is like a virgin......I dont give a fuck!

by The Abrego on Dec 9, 2011 6:08 PM CST reply actions

4. We go to the bathroom, hoping no one will notice.

"Gut Feeling"
Gastrointerologists confirm the human gut contains no rational thoughts.
What it IS full of is fairly well known.

by FreedomRide on Dec 9, 2011 6:25 PM CST up reply actions

Then this link could help you....

How to Piss in Public

How about I Punch-a-size your face for free! - Rod Farva

by distant_texans_fan on Dec 9, 2011 8:06 PM CST up reply actions

mmm...no.

"Gut Feeling"
Gastrointerologists confirm the human gut contains no rational thoughts.
What it IS full of is fairly well known.

by FreedomRide on Dec 9, 2011 8:31 PM CST up reply actions

This game is a BFD for both teams.

The Bungles MUST win to keep their playoff hopes alive.

The Texans can sink the BESFs’ hopes with a win.

Hear that, Weejay? Tear up that Bungle ass, young man.

"Gut Feeling"
Gastrointerologists confirm the human gut contains no rational thoughts.
What it IS full of is fairly well known.

by FreedomRide on Dec 9, 2011 6:42 PM CST reply actions

One thing.

The Texans can sink the BESFs’ hopes with a win.

Winning the division is just about out-of-reach for the Titans. A Bengals loss actually helps them more in their playoff hunt than a Texans loss.

But I don’t care about that. Tennessee will get smoked by the Saints, then I really hope the Texans can put a nail in their playoff coffin in the final week of the season. The cherry on top would be that the win over the Titans would not only knock them out of the playoffs, but secure a first-round bye for Houston.

GET A SILK BAG FROM THE GRAVEYARD DUCK TO LIVE LONGER.

by Synchysi on Dec 9, 2011 6:54 PM CST up reply actions

^^This.

Double validation is double-licious.

"Gut Feeling"
Gastrointerologists confirm the human gut contains no rational thoughts.
What it IS full of is fairly well known.

by FreedomRide on Dec 9, 2011 8:03 PM CST up reply actions

Let's see...

1. The bengals have the ability to call audibles, thus insuring no one does anything stupid enough to allow Kareem another interception.

2. Jacoby jones enters the endzone while in possesion of the ball, thus alloting the texans 6 points. I’m unsure how or when it will happen but it will be during the course of regulation.

3 jj watt will possess a turnover and promptly look awkward and somewhat confused in attempt to score a defensive touchdown. Think bj raji or wilfork but less tubby.

4. After another solid qb leveling performance, antonio smith makes another off(on?) color joke and “Houston White Sax” sticks.

by IThinkItsIndecision on Dec 9, 2011 6:55 PM CST via mobile reply actions

1. The bengals have the ability to call audibles, thus insuring no one does anything stupid enough to allow Kareem another interception.

Did you even watch the play?

Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride

by nolander on Dec 9, 2011 7:01 PM CST up reply actions

Is that a serious question

About a post that is not?

by IThinkItsIndecision on Dec 9, 2011 7:06 PM CST via mobile up reply actions 1 recs

Hard to tell anymore

Kareem jokes are about as clever as yo momma jokes at this point.

Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride

by nolander on Dec 10, 2011 4:00 PM CST up reply actions

I don't know, I've seen an Indian guy come up with some pretty clever Yo Momma jokes

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."

by The Night Owl on Dec 10, 2011 4:26 PM CST up reply actions

well when I see a kj joke that is remotely clever

I’ll back down. As it is I feel dumber every time Im subjected to them.

Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride

by nolander on Dec 10, 2011 4:45 PM CST up reply actions

While it's your option to find humor or offense where you will

Kareem has done a lot more to be be chastised for than praised or respected for.

Even on his best day(for the sake of arguement we’ll say Sunday) he (as well as the rest of the secondary that day) was all over the place. I fully aknowledge that he made the right read and put HIMSELF in the position to make the int, and showed great technique in waiting for jones to start the process of the catch before getting intertwined and putting emphasis on not letting jones making the catch rather than trying to do more and miss.

So yes, he is getting better but he hasn’t put himself above ridicule.

by IThinkItsIndecision on Dec 10, 2011 6:36 PM CST via mobile up reply actions

Texans win
BE-SFs lose
Texans win division
ESPN goes on 12 hour marathon about Tebow.

You know it will happen.

Never Apologize, Never Explain!
I am me and that's all there is to it.

by WestTxTapper on Dec 9, 2011 7:15 PM CST reply actions

regardless of the result espn will always run a 12 hour marathan for tebus.

- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.

"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers

by NoSafetiesNeeded on Dec 9, 2011 7:18 PM CST up reply actions

you stole my nickname for tebow

Please say it was from me

by HTown80 on Dec 10, 2011 12:24 AM CST via mobile up reply actions

If wouldn't be near so funny if it wasn't true....

by Ezekiel 25 17 on Dec 9, 2011 10:50 PM CST up reply actions

they actually had a "Tebow Hour" the other day. I left the room.

also Stephen A Smith and Skip Bayless have been teeing off on one another for what seems like days now. They’re both yelling so close to each others faces that they’re practically making out. They were made for each other after all.

Thank God for football!

by BattleRedHusker on Dec 9, 2011 11:16 PM CST up reply actions

Another dominating win

that is all

Beer, it's not just for breakfast anymore

by Chrxtopher on Dec 9, 2011 7:16 PM CST reply actions

Houston 24 Cincinnati 16

TJ Yates has more people joining the Bandwagon

The Texan Floater, you wanna flush it but you can't.
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
Whitest, I mean Best Front Seven in Football.

by WreckNTexan on Dec 9, 2011 7:20 PM CST reply actions

Idk if the bandwagon can handle so many people jumping on & off this season

and that’s not including the players we put on IR and dre’s getting off and on

"San Antonio is the best falling down team in the league"- Bill Worrell

by TheLastDynasty on Dec 9, 2011 7:29 PM CST up reply actions

You must have not seen the

The Texan Floater, you wanna flush it but you can't.
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
Whitest, I mean Best Front Seven in Football.

by WreckNTexan on Dec 9, 2011 8:22 PM CST up reply actions 7 recs

is it game time yet?

ok, that’s not a prediction.
we win though…. and win…
and win…
and win…
and so on……. etc…. adnasium…..

by Danpassurweenie on Dec 9, 2011 7:24 PM CST reply actions

1-0. Just for today.

Tj goes serviceable again, 170-190 yds, 14-23, 1TD, 0 INT’s.
Jacoby gets his on a quick slant.
Barian Fostate goes for 165.
Texans bring it home 20-13.

'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert

by chuckiepoo on Dec 9, 2011 7:36 PM CST reply actions

Cush bleeds...

obvious…

'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert

by chuckiepoo on Dec 9, 2011 7:37 PM CST up reply actions

And the Texans Bottle it up...

… and secretly give it to Andre for his rehab.

The Texan Floater, you wanna flush it but you can't.
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
Whitest, I mean Best Front Seven in Football.

by WreckNTexan on Dec 9, 2011 8:23 PM CST up reply actions

Andre needs whatever Danieal Manning was taking.

by jkcheng122 on Dec 9, 2011 8:49 PM CST up reply actions

i would love to face titans

In the playoffs, to me they are less than a threat than cincy (even though we will beat them both) and think about the storyline, the titans facing the Texans in the Texans very first playoff game, the houston oilers
Vs the houston Texans? We will show who the real houston team is

by krojr94 on Dec 9, 2011 7:51 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

Its difficult to beat a Division rival 3 times in one season no matter how bad the opponent

Kind of the logic of “We would beat the Titans 9 out of 10 times…” There is always the one… Would rather them not be in the Playoffs.

by Texan5513 on Dec 9, 2011 8:08 PM CST up reply actions

CJ looking better....

No thanks on that

Give me Denver somehow

Def not bal or pitt

@THEREALALLENOU on twitter - "The man, the verb, the legend" OU'd

by AllenOU on Dec 9, 2011 8:23 PM CST via mobile up reply actions

I wouldn't want to play Denver for 2 reasons.

1. God loves Tebow.
2. God hates us.

Matt Schwab, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, Jacoby Ford, Kevin Walters, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!

by MeSoLongHorny on Dec 9, 2011 8:44 PM CST up reply actions

It's hella easy

when it’s the Titans.

by JMFC on Dec 9, 2011 8:24 PM CST up reply actions

Titans over

Jets or Pittsburgh?

I would take the Division rival

The Texan Floater, you wanna flush it but you can't.
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
Whitest, I mean Best Front Seven in Football.

by WreckNTexan on Dec 9, 2011 8:25 PM CST up reply actions

lulz

Like the Jest have snoball’s chance…

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg

"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell

I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right

by Barryfromtexas on Dec 9, 2011 10:10 PM CST up reply actions

Won't happen.

The price of crank in Methville will force Beelzebud’s franchise to auction its playoff position to the highest bidder, which will be Oakland, naturally.

In the revenge match, Fostate will rush for 300 yards and the Texans will control the ball for 59 minutes, beating the Roiders 35-0. Al Davis’s ghost will appear in the loser’s locker room, accompanied by the shade of George Blanda, eating the souls of the Roiders’ coaching staff and sending Richard Seymour screaming into the night.

In the Houston locker room, Kareem Jackson will put on his street clothes in serene confidence, knowing he has beaten the system one more year.

"Gut Feeling"
Gastrointerologists confirm the human gut contains no rational thoughts.
What it IS full of is fairly well known.

by FreedomRide on Dec 9, 2011 8:27 PM CST up reply actions

I think you got us confused with Da Bears.

by jkcheng122 on Dec 9, 2011 8:50 PM CST up reply actions

Eh?

"Gut Feeling"
Gastrointerologists confirm the human gut contains no rational thoughts.
What it IS full of is fairly well known.

by FreedomRide on Dec 9, 2011 8:54 PM CST up reply actions

^This

I like.

Follow the invalid toad.

by Gerbillogic on Dec 9, 2011 9:01 PM CST up reply actions

Week 14 Rooting Guide

Texans win – not in the traditional sense, but in the sense of nobody ending up on IR from this game or this week. Yes, that my Battle Red bleeding friends would indeed by a mighty victory.

-- "...I was sick, napping, and then woke up and came to the computer to read a note from the Gingered Angel of Doom..." Martek - Dynamo Theory Blog

by Fuzion on Dec 9, 2011 8:32 PM CST reply actions

Indeed.

I have a horrible premonition that another major injury is coming.

I’m wrong, surely.

"Gut Feeling"
Gastrointerologists confirm the human gut contains no rational thoughts.
What it IS full of is fairly well known.

by FreedomRide on Dec 9, 2011 8:35 PM CST up reply actions

That game where Jacoby took one back on the Bengals.

That was my first Texans game. Pretty awesome.

If you're a fan of basketball, watch a movie called Sonicsgate. It's free, just google it.
2011 Vancouver Canucks - The closest feeling to winning I've ever had.

by .Bonzo on Dec 9, 2011 8:40 PM CST reply actions

cj doesnt scare me

We shut him down along with the best rbs in the nfl (mcfadden, mid, Michael turner, mendenhall, blunt,) we can do it again. Id rather face the titans than the ravens. Steelers Bengals and jets

by krojr94 on Dec 9, 2011 9:00 PM CST reply actions

Why does anyone

Bring up the Jest when talking playoffs this year?

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg

"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell

I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right

by Barryfromtexas on Dec 9, 2011 10:11 PM CST up reply actions

because of what ESPN has done for them.

also I think we handle the bengals. they have beaten two teams this year. that is it. and one was the Tits before CJ2Gay had really started doing anything.

Thank God for football!

by BattleRedHusker on Dec 9, 2011 11:22 PM CST up reply actions

tacks not tits

besfs not tits

- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.

"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers

by NoSafetiesNeeded on Dec 10, 2011 1:14 AM CST up reply actions

Tits is an acceptable degrading name. Not nearly as good as BE-SFs, but surely a viable change of pace

Thank God for football!

by BattleRedHusker on Dec 10, 2011 8:20 PM CST up reply actions

Tits are great things, the BE-SFs are not

How many times must we reiterate this?

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."

by The Night Owl on Dec 10, 2011 10:16 PM CST up reply actions

BUT.... BUT..

everyone else calls them the Tits :( bully!!

Thank God for football!

by BattleRedHusker on Dec 12, 2011 1:43 AM CST up reply actions

"Today, we rip the hearts out of these fucking haters."

http://www.nfl.com/videos/auto/09000d5d824d6c24/Sound-FX-Week-13

by Biggity B on Dec 9, 2011 9:05 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

Tingles

by DerrickDoll 7 on Dec 9, 2011 9:19 PM CST up reply actions

My favorite part of this video, other than DeMeco

is listening to Vance Joseph, and hearing Derrick Mason support TJ Yates

The strong do what they have to do; the weak accept what they have to accept

by Riott on Dec 9, 2011 9:59 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

What was TJ and Delhomme saying

while walking through the tunnel?

by DerrickDoll 7 on Dec 9, 2011 10:10 PM CST up reply actions

Something about having fun

TJ said he likes to have fun

by splanket on Dec 9, 2011 10:24 PM CST via mobile up reply actions

Something like

Delhomme: Let’s go have some fun!
TJ: I like having fun!
Delhomme: That’s what it’s about!
TJ: I like to keep it loose…

or something like that

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg

"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell

I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right

by Barryfromtexas on Dec 9, 2011 10:27 PM CST up reply actions

Thanks

I want to watch it over n over

by DerrickDoll 7 on Dec 9, 2011 10:29 PM CST up reply actions

I thought it was

TJ:Hey youre Jake Delhomme!
Jake:Yup
TJ:Weren’t you like 46 years-old when I redshirted at Carolina? I thought you died.
Jake:No, I went to Cleveland
TJ:Same thing
Jake:Yup

by JMFC on Dec 10, 2011 1:00 AM CST up reply actions

All of the Texans Sound FX gave me wood.

MAJOR wood

My thoughts are like Brian Cushing on the field: Everywhere.

by f22a4bandit on Dec 9, 2011 11:02 PM CST up reply actions

The hit Stafford took right before Kareem's was delicious.

by JMFC on Dec 10, 2011 12:52 AM CST up reply actions

The last prediction on game day

I made when channeling my inner Bo$$man came true.

1. $o here goe$. The Texan$ will totally dominate the non-glitter kitties. $ince Wade wa$ $o pi$$ed off at the defen$e for getting no $ack$, you can bet they will more than make up for it. (poor Andy Dalton) with 8 $ack$!

2. The $tuff everyone ha$ been mi$$ing from Ca$ey latly will re-emerge and he will $core a TD.

3. Ma$on will get 100 yd$ receiving and a TD

final $core – 32 – 6 Texan$

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg

"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell

I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right

by Barryfromtexas on Dec 9, 2011 10:18 PM CST reply actions 4 recs

a chill just went down my spine

Thank God for football!

by BattleRedHusker on Dec 9, 2011 11:23 PM CST up reply actions

that was BO$$MAN'$ $PIRIT

- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.

"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers

by NoSafetiesNeeded on Dec 10, 2011 1:17 AM CST up reply actions

Missing profanity

Then It is spot on

The Texan Floater, you wanna flush it but you can't.
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
Whitest, I mean Best Front Seven in Football.

by WreckNTexan on Dec 10, 2011 9:54 AM CST up reply actions

You know what

You are likely right – but I never really noticed that part

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg

"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell

I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right

by Barryfromtexas on Dec 10, 2011 12:37 PM CST up reply actions

You know me

The Texan Floater, you wanna flush it but you can't.
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
Whitest, I mean Best Front Seven in Football.

by WreckNTexan on Dec 10, 2011 6:40 PM CST up reply actions

That is bold as s***

Nice job being spot on with the last game. Hope this one comes true too, especially Mason with 100 yard$.

by JBal on Dec 10, 2011 1:09 PM CST via mobile up reply actions

Texans win 17-13

Brian Cushing headbutts haters without his helmet on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTNc-CNZ9zc

You are banned from Stampede Blue.
You can browse the blog, but you can't participate.

Hi CFHTim. You're trolling yet another SB Nation blog. Since you've been banned from several other SB Nation blogs, you don't get a warning. You get banned. If you want to get unbanned, email BBS and state your case for re-admission.

by CFHTim on Dec 9, 2011 10:40 PM CST reply actions

Question...

If Albert Breer picks against the Texans, we are guaranteed a win, right?

by astrosfan3 on Dec 9, 2011 11:13 PM CST reply actions

Albert Breer is a pencil neck

and really doesn’t look like a reputable source for any information except how to have big ears and a momma’s boy haircut. that will be all!

but he picked against us?

THERE WILL BE CON$EQUENCE$!!!!

Thank God for football!

by BattleRedHusker on Dec 9, 2011 11:25 PM CST up reply actions

Bo$$man's Spirt

Live$ On

The Texan Floater, you wanna flush it but you can't.
Wade Aid Is the Best Drink in the League.
Whitest, I mean Best Front Seven in Football.

by WreckNTexan on Dec 10, 2011 9:54 AM CST up reply actions

Crowd noise not a factor

It sounds like the Bengals are having attendance issues (the game is blacked out in Cincy), so that will help Weejay and the boys.

A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving

by Foster Child on Dec 9, 2011 11:33 PM CST reply actions

I was expecting the weather to be more of a factor than the crowd.

by T-Moar on Dec 9, 2011 11:36 PM CST up reply actions

Also,

fuck you for referring to the Texans as “the boys.” That is not an acceptable name for any team, much less ours. If you need a viable alternative, “our boys” is acceptable. As is “The Future 2011 AFC South Champions.”

by T-Moar on Dec 9, 2011 11:40 PM CST up reply actions

How about "Weejay and the Battlin' Kids"

P.S. Fuck you too.

A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving

by Foster Child on Dec 10, 2011 3:01 PM CST up reply actions

fyi if you didn't already know

boys is a common reference to the cokeboys southern oklahoma franchise, so please don’t say that ever again.

Beer, it's not just for breakfast anymore

by Chrxtopher on Dec 10, 2011 3:12 PM CST up reply actions

Weejay and the Battlin' Kids

may very well be the name by which I refer to this team until Weejay is no longer leading them. So it is very much acceptable. You have made up for your prior mistakes.

by T-Moar on Dec 10, 2011 4:07 PM CST up reply actions

Not really sure...

How the Texans are underdogs this week. Texans win, and I don’t think it’s close. Cinci has over achieved this year, and will be exposed by Cushing via no helmet head butt followed by some Antonio Ninjitsu, Texans win big, real big, 27-7, our d scores this week boys

by Ceaster909 on Dec 10, 2011 1:19 AM CST reply actions

We will win and win the Superbowl just because of

http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-films-sound-efx/09000d5d823f4a30/Sound-FX-Brian-Cushing

by thechamp531 on Dec 10, 2011 2:16 AM CST reply actions

Wow! BOSE needs to check their own ad at NFL.com

The sound always sucks (for me) in that ad. Not a good way to advertise for a better sound

"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg

"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell

I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right

by Barryfromtexas on Dec 10, 2011 12:39 PM CST up reply actions

Watch the D smash Gabbert.

Watch Gabbert’s teammates not take him seriously:

http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-films-sound-efx/09000d5d8249df34/Sound-FX-Blaine-Gabbert

"Gut Feeling"
Gastrointerologists confirm the human gut contains no rational thoughts.
What it IS full of is fairly well known.

by FreedomRide on Dec 10, 2011 7:21 AM CST reply actions

haha that was the only reason i watched it when it came out, to hear how loud we hit him

by astrosfan3 on Dec 10, 2011 10:29 AM CST up reply actions

There is a little something missing in that 2nd picture, isn’t there?

"Gut Feeling"
Gastrointerologists confirm the human gut contains no rational thoughts.
What it IS full of is fairly well known.

by FreedomRide on Dec 10, 2011 7:39 AM CST reply actions

What picture?

"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster

by Rip Jersey on Dec 10, 2011 8:03 AM CST up reply actions

Tim removed it.

"Gut Feeling"
Gastrointerologists confirm the human gut contains no rational thoughts.
What it IS full of is fairly well known.

by FreedomRide on Dec 10, 2011 9:33 AM CST up reply actions

Texans win, 17-14.

It’ll be a nailbiter, but the defense will get the job done for the most part. Foster will have another big game, and Yates will look like an NFL quarterback.

The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.

by Stupendous Man on Dec 10, 2011 7:54 AM CST via mobile reply actions

Demeco will literally rip the heart out of a hater

by JBal on Dec 10, 2011 1:11 PM CST via mobile reply actions 1 recs

hmmm

Yates will throw for 213 yards, 1TD, 0 INT.

Daniels will recieve for 102 yards with 1TD

Arian “the finesse” Foster and Ben “the brute force” Tate will run for a combined 180 yards & 1TD each.

Jackson will almost get an interception.

Joseph will get one, but we will settle for a FG.

Texans Defense will hold the bagels to 13 points while they also deal with bad call after bad call by the zebras.

FINAL: Texans – 31 Bagels – 13 Zebras – 27

"Everywhere you go, there’s the buzz going around the city. Houston has been wanting a winning team here for a long time. We’re glad that we can finally provide that little spark, but we’ve got to go finish." -Arian Foster

by JayStation3 on Dec 10, 2011 4:31 PM CST reply actions

its Ben "Particles" Tate

Thank God for football!

by BattleRedHusker on Dec 10, 2011 8:18 PM CST up reply actions

5 things

1. Texans win fairly easily, 24-13
2. Defense scores
3. Titans lose
4. Division clinched
5. Chris Collinsworth SUCKS… seriously, I want him off snf and Madden. He’s terrible.

by Jumbo Package on Dec 10, 2011 5:53 PM CST via mobile reply actions

5 things

1. Texans win fairly easily, 24-13
2. Defense scores
3. Titans lose
4. Division clinched
5. Chris Collinsworth SUCKS… seriously, I want him off snf and Madden. He’s terrible.

by Jumbo Package on Dec 10, 2011 5:53 PM CST via mobile reply actions

5 things

1. Texans win fairly easily, 24-13
2. Defense scores
3. Titans lose
4. Division clinched
5. Chris Collinsworth SUCKS… seriously, I want him off snf and Madden. He’s terrible.

by Jumbo Package on Dec 10, 2011 6:07 PM CST via mobile reply actions

"5. Chris Collinsworth SUCKS"

Couldn’t disagree more. Best color guy on TV besides Mike Mayock, IMO.

by FreedomRide on Dec 10, 2011 6:31 PM CST up reply actions

Collinsworth has such a boring voice. If you can not hate him for how he talks, he's not bad.

Disclaimer: I hate him because of how he sounds. Sleep inducing, that man..

Thank God for football!

by BattleRedHusker on Dec 10, 2011 8:19 PM CST up reply actions

just my opinion

He ruined Madden though. Probably not his fault, but he says the wrong thing all the time.

by Jumbo Package on Dec 11, 2011 7:11 AM CST via mobile up reply actions

Madden has never had two good commentators at the same time.

As soon as The Turducken left, they replaced him with Collinsworthless. Both are great commentators IRL, and they’ve both got great partners in game (other than that time when Madden decided to add Tom Hammond.) Probably has something to do with the fact that EA Sports can’t seem to program color commentary right.

by T-Moar on Dec 11, 2011 10:45 AM CST up reply actions