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Around SBN: NFL Players Ready To Welcome Gay Teammate

And Some Readers Have Greatness Thrust Upon Them: Introducing the Bag

This picture has nothing to do with the post.  It's just awesome.

Have you ever thought to yourself, "Self, I would really like to be a more active participant in the BRB community, but I cannot be bothered to write FanShots or apply to be one of the new writers or anything like that; what should I do?"

Sadly, if you found yourself in that predicament, your options were limited to (1) commenting more frequently, (2) having access to free beer and inviting the BRB staff/readership to hang out, (3) crying yourself to sleep at night.

Well dry those tears, Sally, because I have some great news.  How great?  So great that you have to hit the jump to even read about it.

[Note: The author, the management, and SBN make no guarantees that this news will, in fact, strike you as "great" or even strike you as something better than "a terrible idea."

 

Star-divide

We are launching a weekly mailbag, which is currently, tentatively named "Battle Red Bag."  [Here is where I would explain how mailbags work if I didn't think that you all were smart enough to figure that part out on your own.]

Is that little voice in your head asking, "Who the hell would want to ask questions about the Texans every week?  Isn't answering what questions a blog wants answered the purpose of the actual blog articles?"  The voice raises a good point.  We've thought about that.  So, instead of merely having Texans-related questions in the bag, it will be open to more or less any topic.

No, seriously, you can e-mail about anything: beer, women, college course schedules, why Cookie Crisp is indisputably the best breakfast cereal (it is!), clarification of weightspeed calculations, rants about Amobi Okoye, paeans to Amobi Okoye, why Tim secretly loves Amobi Okoye, movies, music, bar-b-que, relationship advice (I have no idea why you would want to do this ), hypothetical legal questions (this mailbag does not create a lawyer-client relationship yada yada yada), or anything else under the Sun.

Hell, you don't even have to e-mail questions only; feel free to e-mail observations as well.

Consider this post the first call for e-mail submissions.  Send your electronical mailings to mattycamp@gmail.com, preferably with "Mailbag" in the subject line.

Comment 82 comments  |  3 recs  | 

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MDC wouldn't be able to answer that one

"If my hips had pockets, I wouldn't wear pants at all." @NotBurtReynolds

by papabear on May 20, 2011 11:58 AM CDT up reply actions  

beat me to it.

Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.

-Catch 22-

by Jordann on May 20, 2011 11:59 AM CDT up reply actions  

Rec'd

Jerk-off.

The Two-Day Hangover @ SBN Houston | Twitter
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"MDC: Droppin' knowledge like a librarian with Parkinson's." --Jonathan Loesche
-
"Not to completely equate marriage to fandom, but both rely on suspended insanity a bit." --beefy

by MDC on May 20, 2011 1:27 PM CDT up reply actions  

Rec'd

You just had to beat the “new guys” to it :)

My name is Barry - I am from Texas

by Barryfromtexas on May 20, 2011 11:57 AM CDT up reply actions  

Nice tags.

Nice pic.

Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.

-Catch 22-

by Jordann on May 20, 2011 12:00 PM CDT reply actions  

That dunk last night had a serious awsomeness factor to it

hence the automatic technical for describing it in great detail to the earthbound mavs

It took the Astros 44 years to get to the Series, the Oilers-Texans are due to get to the big dance...Go Texans!!!!!

by oiler-texan diehard on May 20, 2011 12:30 PM CDT up reply actions  

I never read the tags...

And this proves that I really REALLY should.

Bacon tastes good... Pork chops taste good.

by beefy on May 20, 2011 1:23 PM CDT up reply actions  

He really should've bet more than $5

If the Treasury Secretary doesn't have to pay taxes, then why do I?

by Shake on May 20, 2011 1:53 PM CDT up reply actions  

Or a case of beer.

Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.

-Catch 22-

by Jordann on May 20, 2011 4:52 PM CDT up reply actions  

I have a question.

Why in Durga’s name did you post a picture of THAT team?

That’s just uncalled for.

Despite my better judgment, an author at Battle Red Blog.

Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.

I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!

by UprootedTexan on May 20, 2011 12:00 PM CDT reply actions  

I wouldn

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid

by The Night Owl on May 20, 2011 12:11 PM CDT up reply actions  

I wouldn't exactly say that

I think plenty of people called for it

/BTW, accidently hit enter beforehand

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid

by The Night Owl on May 20, 2011 12:12 PM CDT up reply actions  

How about a Durantula?

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid

by The Night Owl on May 20, 2011 12:17 PM CDT up reply actions   1 recs

If only

Aldridge wouldve stayed 1 more year to play with Durant. What might have been….

by LouisianaTexan on May 20, 2011 12:40 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

Night Owl, I'm stealing your picture to upload it to my Photobucket.

lol – this is TOO FUNNY!

/AND I will probably repost it to the OT’s

"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." -- Benjamin Disraeli

"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers." -- Homer Simpson

"There is no rehab for stupid." -- Chris Rock

Never try to baptize a cat.

by texanslady on May 20, 2011 2:28 PM CDT up reply actions  

So when are you gonna give me access to your "bucket'?

/.wink wink

Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.

-Catch 22-

by Jordann on May 20, 2011 4:53 PM CDT up reply actions  

BACK OFF!

If you think of yourselves as helpless and ineffectual, it is certain that you will create a despotic government to be your master. The wise despot, therefore, maintains among his subjects a popular sense that they are helpless and ineffectual.
-Frank Herbert, The Dosadi Experiment

by peytonsurdaddy on May 21, 2011 9:29 AM CDT up reply actions  

It's a pretty good sandwich from what I've seen

Pulled Pork, Bacon, & Drunken Crab Legs (on what looks like a wheat bun) with Smoked Cheddar being optional.

You think that looks good, you should see William “The Refrigerator” Perry

Housemade Onion & Sage Waffles, Buttermilk Fried Chicken, Applewood Smoked Bacon…topped with Spicy Maple Mayo. Served with Waffle Fries & an extra side of Spicy Maple Mayo.

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid

by The Night Owl on May 21, 2011 12:01 AM CDT up reply actions  

I just had a heart attack

And I only looked at the picture of it…

by Bryan72076 on May 21, 2011 11:55 AM CDT up reply actions  

Kill it! Kill it with fire!

Despite my better judgment, an author at Battle Red Blog.

Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.

I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!

by UprootedTexan on May 20, 2011 9:03 PM CDT up reply actions  

No, you must eat it to make it go away

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid

by The Night Owl on May 21, 2011 12:02 AM CDT up reply actions  

..........

Which team are you referring too UT?

Self declared Texans fan,and by no means am I joking

by TexanZ 1017 on May 20, 2011 12:27 PM CDT up reply actions  

The team formerly known as the SuperSonics

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid

by The Night Owl on May 20, 2011 12:28 PM CDT up reply actions  

r u jokin me?

Self declared Texans fan,and by no means am I joking

by TexanZ 1017 on May 20, 2011 12:37 PM CDT up reply actions  

No, UT lives in Seattle

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid

by The Night Owl on May 20, 2011 12:38 PM CDT up reply actions  

It should be known

that because i am batman… i’m hardly ever awake before noon…

by Ivan A on May 20, 2011 1:54 PM CDT up reply actions  

But i figure that this is the only reason i'm missed

is the enforcement of BRB Section 807.92 thread regulation code

by Ivan A on May 20, 2011 1:58 PM CDT up reply actions   1 recs

Excuse me

Fellas but is it just me or does Ivan have quite the collection of women on his computer?

Self declared Texans fan,and by no means am I joking

by TexanZ 1017 on May 20, 2011 2:02 PM CDT up reply actions  

I

enjoy them to the fullest my friend…To the fullest

Self declared Texans fan,and by no means am I joking

by TexanZ 1017 on May 20, 2011 2:25 PM CDT up reply actions  

Stick around...

I’m sure you’ll hear something creepier.

by Ivan A on May 21, 2011 1:50 PM CDT up reply actions  

I'm sure he's sticking alright...

zing

-- "...I was sick, napping, and then woke up and came to the computer to read a note from the Gingered Angel of Doom..." Martek - Dynamo Theory Blog

by Fuzion on May 22, 2011 12:28 AM CDT up reply actions  

He sure does

and Batman eating a cookie apparently

by JBal on May 20, 2011 2:16 PM CDT up reply actions  

Have a friend who dated this girl's brother.

She’s some sorta Youtube celebrity. Apparently nice enough IRL.

by riversmccown on May 20, 2011 4:46 PM CDT up reply actions  

Pancakes

Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid

by The Night Owl on May 21, 2011 12:05 AM CDT up reply actions  

underage

Chris Hansen told me so.

Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.

-Catch 22-

by Jordann on May 20, 2011 4:54 PM CDT up reply actions  

Noooooo!!

He was my idol as a 7 year old. Sad news indeed.

\pours out bleach cocktail for “Bonesaw”

by LouisianaTexan on May 20, 2011 12:27 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

That sucks

The Macho Man was one of my childhood favorites.

"Lord, beer me strength."

by TexansDC on May 20, 2011 1:37 PM CDT up reply actions  

For one week my friends and I did his voice....I could barely talk by the end of it.

Never cared for wrestling though, sad to see someone go though.

We are all important to each other, and because of this we have a purpose. - Daniel Black (Yes, that's me)

by Schlauton on May 20, 2011 1:39 PM CDT up reply actions  

I recommend that we all listen to his rap album today to honor him.

It’s preeeeetty awesome. Granted, it’s not as good as Hulk Hogan’s CD, which features the love song, “Hulk’s the one”, but it’s still strong.

by Nashmeister on May 20, 2011 1:40 PM CDT up reply actions  

None of those albums

could possibly compare to Shaq Diesel

If the Treasury Secretary doesn't have to pay taxes, then why do I?

by Shake on May 20, 2011 1:55 PM CDT up reply actions  

dude this is horrible

i always thought they owuld bring back his sunglasses

"////let it pan out before you kick da plan out\\"
-mitmil22

by theSpaceCityKid on May 20, 2011 3:30 PM CDT up reply actions  

I just wonder if Vince and him ever talked after that big split?

I have been saying for years why have they not put him in the WWE hall of fame? It is sad that i think he will go into this years only because he passed, which is sad cause he should have been in a long time ago. R.I.P. Macho you where one of the best.

by southpaw70 on May 20, 2011 5:14 PM CDT up reply actions   1 recs

There's a 2-per-week standard?

When did we start that? I must’ve gotten grandfathered in under the old “is Matt ever going to post anything?” standard.

The Two-Day Hangover @ SBN Houston | Twitter
-
"MDC: Droppin' knowledge like a librarian with Parkinson's." --Jonathan Loesche
-
"Not to completely equate marriage to fandom, but both rely on suspended insanity a bit." --beefy

by MDC on May 20, 2011 1:28 PM CDT up reply actions  

Just for the newbies I thought

Cause one post a MONTH from kerns is MORE THAN enough

by AllenOU on May 20, 2011 1:34 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

I know you like men, deep down

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on May 20, 2011 1:36 PM CDT up reply actions  

Actually, I'm interested to see how this turns out

I’ve had some questions before and never really knew what to do with them; post them as off-topic was sometimes the answer, write your own fan-post is always an option, but this is a good idea because sometimes to get a better response to a question, to have a featured writer turned it into a featured post should get it answered every which way.

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on May 20, 2011 1:35 PM CDT up reply actions  

I for one would like to know what our Texans are doing during the lockout?

Going to cockfights?
Enjoying the theater?
Beating up red headed midgets?
Finding mittens lost mitten?
Learning how to cut hair?

by Ivan A on May 20, 2011 2:00 PM CDT up reply actions  

For the third one...

Look for “Behind The Mask – Andre Johnson”

I’d link it myself, but I can’t get to a computer and it doesn’t work when I try to create links on my iPad.

Despite my better judgment, an author at Battle Red Blog.

Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.

I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!

by UprootedTexan on May 20, 2011 2:05 PM CDT up reply actions  

Better than the previous

“is Matt still alive” standard IMO

Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.

-Catch 22-

by Jordann on May 20, 2011 4:55 PM CDT up reply actions  

I am 12 years old and what is sex?

We are all important to each other, and because of this we have a purpose. - Daniel Black (Yes, that's me)

by Schlauton on May 20, 2011 1:40 PM CDT reply actions  

it comes after five

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on May 20, 2011 1:44 PM CDT up reply actions  

Use your friendly internet and look up

Panda Suits, BFD, Jordann, Rhonda, Travis Johnson.
You can thank me later

"It was like the Alamo!"

by BabyBeezy03 on May 20, 2011 3:33 PM CDT up reply actions  

I am not responsible for kids turning into furries when they grow up.

Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.

-Catch 22-

by Jordann on May 20, 2011 4:56 PM CDT up reply actions  

The UN will eventually hold you on trial for crimes to humanity.

You’ve taken away so many childhoods

"It was like the Alamo!"

by BabyBeezy03 on May 20, 2011 8:55 PM CDT up reply actions  

OH BTW

The picture of basketball threw me off… I thought i was in thedreamshake blog.

by Ivan A on May 20, 2011 2:37 PM CDT reply actions  

You shouldn't be talking!

Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.

-Catch 22-

by Jordann on May 20, 2011 4:56 PM CDT up reply actions  

Hippies have souls?

Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.

-Catch 22-

by Jordann on May 22, 2011 7:41 PM CDT up reply actions  

Helping you to win the $5 bet:

How did you convince God to send the tornadoes to Alabama this year, instead of Arkansas?

If the Treasury Secretary doesn't have to pay taxes, then why do I?

by Shake on May 20, 2011 3:58 PM CDT reply actions  

Im assuming he sacrificed a whole cow using thurgood.

Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.

-Catch 22-

by Jordann on May 20, 2011 4:57 PM CDT up reply actions  

Looks like you spoke too soon. I see they hit Arkansas last night...

"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." -- Benjamin Disraeli

"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers." -- Homer Simpson

"There is no rehab for stupid." -- Chris Rock

Never try to baptize a cat.

by texanslady on May 25, 2011 3:40 PM CDT up reply actions  

BTW

Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.

-Catch 22-

by Jordann on May 20, 2011 4:57 PM CDT reply actions  

reply fail.

I don’t even remember my reply anymore.

Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.

-Catch 22-

by Jordann on May 20, 2011 4:57 PM CDT up reply actions  

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