Ways BRB authors can guarantee I won't read their posts

by beefy on Jul 15, 2011 2:50 PM CDT

1. Mention "bleach" or any other tired dead-horse (not to be confused with Dead Horse, the band) comment in the pre-jump thoughts.

2. Have little to no knowledge about football and/or equate real football to things you can do in Madden.

3. Be someone I already dislike.

This list is not exhaustive.

Those that know me will likely not be surprised that my first ever fanshot deals with things that highly and irrationally infuriate me. I'm nothing if not consistent and liberal with my hate.

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Comments

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I must rule with eye and claw — as the hawk among lesser birds.
-Duke Leto Atreides

by peytonsurdaddy on Jul 15, 2011 6:00 PM CDT reply actions

BTW, this is not a "FanShot"

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Jul 16, 2011 10:18 AM CDT up reply actions

Bleach is funny because bleach

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view--until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.

by nolander on Jul 15, 2011 6:02 PM CDT reply actions 5 recs

Meanwhile Texans Fans Prepare for the Season

My name is Barry - I am from Texas

by Barryfromtexas on Jul 15, 2011 6:37 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

Throw

Some Ds on this bleach?

"How bout that ride in. I guess that's why they call it sin city."

by AFTexan on Jul 15, 2011 6:17 PM CDT reply actions

Where's the poll?

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Jul 15, 2011 6:41 PM CDT reply actions

ok did i miss something....

do we care?

by southpaw70 on Jul 15, 2011 6:53 PM CDT reply actions

I think this is where we wait for him to pull a James Harrison

FB apology is coming….

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Jul 15, 2011 8:08 PM CDT up reply actions

i know right.

and waiting………

by southpaw70 on Jul 15, 2011 8:28 PM CDT up reply actions

It pisses me off that we don’t run 4 Verticals from shotgun trips. It always works in madden especially with OD. If we did that I wouldn’t drink so much bleach I guess.

(now we wait for you to hate me, and the hat trick is mine!)

I'm looking forward to bigger and better things from the Texans this year... I've decided to start fresh and refocus on the things that matter... thats right... I speak of SKIN BLEACH! no need to burn your throat.. it can't feel it anymore anyways! apply directly to the skin or eyes and let the mind blowing pain steal your focus from the disaster on the field!

by BattleRedHusker on Jul 15, 2011 7:02 PM CDT reply actions 2 recs

hahaha

just to throw ppl off i have to hot route andre coming on a slant sometimes

by southpaw70 on Jul 15, 2011 8:29 PM CDT up reply actions

Tell me

how else can you be accommodated, as the driving factor in every writers life is whether or not “beefy” will read and approve.

P.S. Can I borrow some bleach?

GGN Moderator, House pessimist, veteran arm chair GM.
www.GangGreenNation.com

by Bro Namath on Jul 16, 2011 11:18 AM CDT reply actions 4 recs

How about...

Having Bleach in your name? And replying 2 weeks after the post was made?

In addition, I hear that Pancakes is an expert at Madden. I think we should beat him like a dead horse and put him in a vat of bleach every time that he promotes a movie he “starred” in or makes a different prediction in each of ten different posts.

by BleachBum on Jul 27, 2011 3:11 PM CDT up reply actions

Mention "bleach" or any other tired dead-horse (not to be confused with Dead Horse, the band) comment in the pre-jump thoughts.

in the pre-jump thoughts.

Like your horses to be Trojans, eh? Figures.

- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter | Football Outsiders | Battle Red Blog

by riversmccown on Jul 16, 2011 11:48 AM CDT reply actions

My goat doesn't mind if I raw dog it.

Not that THAT matters.

Bacon tastes good... Pork chops taste good.

by beefy on Jul 18, 2011 8:43 AM CDT up reply actions

actually

I prefer you lubricate first. With bleach.

I wish we could hire coaches without "having grown up in Houston" being a job requirement.

by DaGoaT on Jul 20, 2011 10:45 AM CDT up reply actions

clorox said to get sponsorship

we have to draft a few more tight ends, then use nothing but screens and flats because those work so well in madden.

"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
"Great, you've doomed us all!" - UprootedTexan
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans

by Taco Joe on Jul 16, 2011 3:39 PM CDT reply actions

Hey I bet Beefy and Taco would get along nicely..

by TexansPride on Jul 19, 2011 7:30 AM CDT up reply actions

Bleach as a trope

is right up there amnesia on a soap opera or a wacky neighbor kid on a ’90s sitcom.

The Two-Day Hangover @ SBN Houston | Twitter
-
"MDC: Droppin' knowledge like a librarian with Parkinson's." --Jonathan Loesche
-
"Not to completely equate marriage to fandom, but both rely on suspended insanity a bit." --beefy

by MDC on Jul 16, 2011 9:25 PM CDT reply actions

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BrainBleach

Yeah, I suppose it works.

GET A SILK BAG FROM THE GRAVEYARD DUCK TO LIVE LONGER.

by Synchysi on Jul 16, 2011 9:51 PM CDT up reply actions

...or BRB writers inexplicably disappearing once the season starts...

by NWestTexan on Jul 18, 2011 6:37 PM CDT up reply actions

Ha...

This guys name is beefy…

by TexansPride on Jul 18, 2011 1:08 PM CDT reply actions

And MY name is bigfatdrunk

A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot

by bigfatdrunk on Jul 18, 2011 10:31 PM CDT up reply actions

Mmmmm..

Beefy.

by brightshinies on Jul 18, 2011 1:42 PM CDT reply actions

Too late to add another one???

4. Discuss cutting a first round draft pick after one season he was forced to start.
(I realize that #2 dovetails into this, but thought it deserves mentioning specifically.)

Bacon tastes good... Pork chops taste good.

by beefy on Jul 19, 2011 10:13 AM CDT reply actions

"after JUST one season, IN WHICH he was forced to start."

apologies for being unclear.

Bacon tastes good... Pork chops taste good.

by beefy on Jul 19, 2011 10:16 AM CDT up reply actions

deadhorse the band is not capitalized

just my $.02

by JBal on Jul 19, 2011 12:07 PM CDT reply actions

I find that highly and irrationally infuriating!

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Jul 20, 2011 9:22 AM CDT up reply actions

Seen them in concert twice.

bleach bleach bleach

Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

-Orwell, Politics and the English Language

www.battleredblog.com

by tehGrindCrusher on Jul 20, 2011 10:31 AM CDT up reply actions

Deadhorse is also an unincorporated community in Alaska

Located on the North Slope near the Arctic Ocean, it primarily is a community that supports the oil drilling industry. The name, Deadhorse, is thought to be derived from the Dead Horse Haulers trucking company that was formerly located there back in the 60s and 70s. You can’t buy an alcoholic drink there, thus the phrase was coined, “All that far and still no bar…”

I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.

by Rip Jersey on Jul 20, 2011 10:45 AM CDT up reply actions

"This week on Ice Road Truckers..."

"In conclusion, I’d like to say that Dicky Justice is an assclown."
"...your in-house hirings on the defensive side suck donkey balls..."
- tehGrindCrusher

by DilloTex on Jul 22, 2011 6:40 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs