As the Scrabble Board Turns 2011 Free Agent Watch...
Texans fans: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Wait, they just spent all their money to hang on to a guy named Free.
Texans fans: Dumb Cowboys! HA HA! Asomugha is ours!
Uh oh, the Jets, they've been attached to rumors about acquiring Asomugha.
Texans fans: CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!
Hmmmm, they're talking to Cromartie and Santonio Holmes and they resigned Wayne Hunter...I heard from my best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who said that apparently Asomugha's feet really turned off Rex Ryan. Sounds like they're not interested.
Texans fans: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
But they might be.
Texans fans: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
::Dead horses being beaten::
So far, being "very aggressive in free agency" for the Texans means picking up 18 UDFA and re-signing their unrestricted free agents.
Texans fans: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!
Matt Leinart (probably) and Tavaris Jackson are going to Seattle to be part of a three-headed chimera of suck at QB.
As we go into day two, all the major targets for the Houston Texans remain free agents. But several questions remain.
Will Asomugha choose steel blue, battle red, and liberty white as his team colors? Is it about the money for him? Will Eric Weddle go to one of our rivals in the AFC South (I sure hope not)? If the Bengals could pay Johnathan Joseph with Skyline chili instead of money, do you think they would? Will it be on Smithiak if we don't sign veteran help in the secondary or other areas in the team? Does this post make my butt look big? Who put the bomp in the bomp-sh-bomp-sh--
Thank you. Without any further ado, here is your open thread for free agency. Post your amended free agency predictions, conspiracies, news, rumors, tweets, and information here; the floor is yours.