Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Texans-Dolphins
by Tim on Sep 16, 2011 4:00 PM CDT
in Three And Out
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PrintIn looking at last week's edition, the more critical among you might say, "Tim, you failed to get a single thing right. The fact that you'd pretend to play psychic again is both sad and patently offensive." The more forgiving among you might say, "Hey, the Texans won, just like you said they would. The other stuff was no big deal." The rest of you? You're probably just hoping I wrap this lame introduction up as quickly as possible so you can see this week's predictions and immediately bet the other way. I'm inclined to do that, as it's almost quitting time and I really don't have anywhere else to go with this monologue.
Hit the jump for a dose of blinding analytical (note: I don't know what that word means) prowess.
1. As much as many Texans fans are looking forward to laughing at Reggie Bush on Sunday, I have some bad news for you. He's going to score a TD. On a screen pass. And then you'll be reminded anew by a savvy broadcaster that your Houston Texans passed on him in 2006, followed by some nauseating fawning over what a playmaker Reggie is.
Bonus Bush Forecast: He finishes with less than 40 rushing yards but 82 total yards. He also gets pulled down by J.J. Watt in the backfield on one carry, which will result in Houston fans once again thanking our lucky stars that Mario Williams is a Texan.
2. Owen Daniels finishes with more receiving yards than any other Texan. Pencil him in for seven catches for 87 yards and a TD. Andre Johnson is kept out of the end zone but does manage six catches for 78 yards. Arian Foster returns to action (one of these weeks that will come true...you can take that to the bank) and the endzone simltaneously. Ben Tate, meanwhile, continues to make his presence known, finishing with 71 yards on 13 carries.
3. Wade Phillips strikes again. This time, he takes the form of Antonio Smith, who will strip sack Chad Henne. Your Houston Texans will force two turnovers (one fumble and one pick) and finish +1 in the turnover ledger on the day.
PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: The secondary will get much more of a test this week, and while they will look infinitely better than the 2010 edition, they're going to surrender two touchdowns. If the Dolphins had a back who could regularly exploit the center of the Texans' defense, I'd like their chances much more. I'm guessing this game will be somewhat back and forth in the first half, with the Texans gaining a little breathing room in the second half. Texans 27, Dolphins 20.
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first!!!
Now banned…
It takes a big man to walk away, but a bigger man to break his freaking jaw!
by USMC_Texas on Sep 16, 2011 4:05 PM CDT via iPhone app reply actions
31-13
Mario 2 Sacks one Fumble forced. Secondary gets 1st INT. Hell even Brooks Reed gets his first Sack.
Being Insane I would know, I am a Texans Fan.
Wade Aid, Seconds Please
Perfect
though they will be an upgrade from Clark trying to stop him last week, don’t think Long and Colombo will be able to keep him from knocking the snot out of Henne all game. The Texans don’t play a yard and a half off the ball on the D-line like the Hoodie’s boys did.
Dre’ goes for 125 and 2 TD’s.
by BruiserTexans on Sep 16, 2011 11:55 PM CDT up reply actions
What about your revolving door
Right side of the line?
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
by Barryfromtexas on Sep 17, 2011 12:00 AM CDT up reply actions
41-14 baby
Oh wait, this isn’t the OU fsu thread?
24-20 texans
@THEREALALLENOU on twitter - "The man, the verb, the legend" OU'd
by AllenOU on Sep 16, 2011 4:12 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
We can...
most certainly live with that!! :)
"It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America...Molly Ivins"
As I paws to reflect...
I think:
1) Reggie never approaches the same side of the field as Mario, in fear for his life
2) JJ Watt senses this and destroys Reggie behind the line, rips his head off and sticks it on top of one of the down markers. The officials leave it there. I know I would.
3) Wade decides to “own that sh**” and comes to the game wearing a sweatshirt with the Michelin Tire Man on the front and the motto “We’re gonna’ roll over yo’ ass!” emblazoned across the bottom.
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
by DilloTex on Sep 16, 2011 4:15 PM CDT reply actions 6 recs
A for effort
But #3 = FAIL
@THEREALALLENOU on twitter - "The man, the verb, the legend" OU'd
by AllenOU on Sep 16, 2011 4:20 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Yeah, I was trying...
…to compare Wade’s figure to the Michelin Man… fail… I thought about the Mr. Softy man, but… It’s probably best to accept the “fail” and just move on…
/picks up favorite tree limb from yard
/returns to chewing
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
Yeah... that was it... from GhostBusters?
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
Stay puff. That's a good one
I want to call studdard that from now on
@THEREALALLENOU on twitter - "The man, the verb, the legend" OU'd
by AllenOU on Sep 16, 2011 4:43 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
LMAO
genius i love the BRB :’) its like i found people that love the Texans as much as me but they know so much more
All I want to do is FAAAARRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMM!!!....and COok.
by Mellowcheese on Sep 16, 2011 4:53 PM CDT up reply actions
green'd
"////let it pan out before you kick da plan out\\"
-mitmil22
by theSpaceCityKid on Sep 16, 2011 6:53 PM CDT up reply actions
How about this Garbage Article
Being Insane I would know, I am a Texans Fan.
Wade Aid, Seconds Please
Let's keep a list of these national media goons who are not convinced the Texans have improved from the debacle defense last year
And shove it down their throats when they try to climb aboard in a few weeks when it is obvious the corner was turned and they are for real.
I read Peter King thinks Dolphins win by 3 as well. That’s probably only because we got Joseph instead of Scrabble. Had we picked up Nnamdi he’d probably pencil us in at Texans 42 – Miami 3.
Jackasses all of them. I get that the media was all burned last year assuming the Texans would continue to progress from 2009, but that Bush defense and decision to go with rooks at secondary should have tipped caution.
So is there really any more research and analysis in sports journalism any more or does everyone just “retweet” and spin the trends now without any thought whatsoever? At least the writers here at BRB attempt to gather meaningful stats, match ups and apply logic to the articles (positive or negative) and not just all hype. I think more folks will navigate to blogs if the national feeds and writers continue to take short cuts and write what they think will be more popular.
It’s good to be here with all of you for another season!
by MeMongo on Sep 16, 2011 6:59 PM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
retweeting is an art don't ya know?
but definitely not a science
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
by Barryfromtexas on Sep 16, 2011 7:10 PM CDT up reply actions
I think more folks will navigate to blogs if the national feeds and writers continue to take short cuts and write what they think will be more popular.
God I hope so, especially if said blogs are as good as this one and some other SBN blogs.
GET A SILK BAG FROM THE GRAVEYARD DUCK TO LIVE LONGER.
Lets try Here, my First Fan Post
http://www.battleredblog.com/2011/9/16/2430240/creaming-the-national-media
Being Insane I would know, I am a Texans Fan.
Wade Aid, Seconds Please
We are truly blessed
…to have such a collection of passionate, technically proficient, literate and entertaining writers.
We need to not take it for granted.
We ALSO need to take note of the fact that in ADDITION to the aforementioned qualities, the guys that stick around here are for the most part fairly emotionally mature and able to deal with conflict. That is a pretty difficult combination to find.
Hats off to our benevolent Overlords.
/lays sacrificial chewy by flat-panel…
…
/checks to make sure there are no web-cams around
/sneaks chewy back into personal stash
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
by DilloTex on Sep 17, 2011 10:13 AM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
Rec,d
Our football, who art in Houston, Texans be thy name. Thy wins will come, this will be done at Reliant and on the road. Give us this year our winning season, and forgive us for our penalties, as we forgive those who false start against us. And lead us not into overtime but deliver us a Superbowl !! ~TheNightOwl
by SteelBlueUSMC on Sep 17, 2011 3:30 PM CDT up reply actions
Rec'ed
To soothe my ego :-)
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Sep 17, 2011 11:07 AM CDT up reply actions
One thing I find...
is that when I go to other SB Nation blogs, they tend to not have the high level of intelligence, wit, humor and analysis as this one does. In fact, reading the dolphins blog this week is quite boring save for the homerism in the comments. Numerous spelling errors in the blog posts, too.
But with that said
the prize for worst forum ever has got to go to TexansTalk. Its like 4chan for Texans fans and the fact that most of our idiot fans hang out there probably greatly benefits this place.
Maybe Bo$$man will find it.
shhhh.
keep your voice low or the TT regs will find this place.
by semihard@texans on Sep 17, 2011 9:39 PM CDT via iPhone app up reply actions
what's the consensus on Daniel Thomas playing and what should we expect
from him regarding the middle of our defense if he plays?
hey
According to most sources down her, DT will be playing and we expect him to get significant carries. Fyi, he is a big, agile back whose biggest knock is that he doesn’t play as physically as he should.
Captain of the Landry Jones bandwagon
Chad Henne for the 2012 pro bowl
Member of the Daniel Thomas bandwagon
Vontae Davis and Sean Smith = Sam Madison and Patrick Surtain 2.0
All hail the mighty brandstater
by AnishB15 on Sep 16, 2011 4:36 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
I really hope Thomas gets most of the snaps
I think our D is suseptable(sp?) to the screen pass and that’s kinda Reggie’s thing
by LouisianaTexan on Sep 16, 2011 7:20 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Wouldn't necessarily be a good thing.
This style of defense (especially with the incomparable Shaun Cody at NT) is also vulnerable to runs up the middle, which would appear to be Thomas’ specialty.
GET A SILK BAG FROM THE GRAVEYARD DUCK TO LIVE LONGER.
Think the Fins' chances in the passing game...
are fairly dependent on who KarJax is covering. If he is on Marshall as much as he was on Wayne for the Colts game then I think it may be a very long game for Kareem. Still believe Texans win by 20+.
Doesn't Dre always have great games against the Fins?
His family being there and all. I know their corners are pretty good, but #80 is better. 150yards and a TD. No picks from teh Schaub
I think vontae davis is out as well
@THEREALALLENOU on twitter - "The man, the verb, the legend" OU'd
by AllenOU on Sep 16, 2011 4:43 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
he's going to play
But we are lining Sean Smith up against dre more than we will with davis, Smith is much taller and better at coverage while Vontae is a better tackler.
Captain of the Landry Jones bandwagon
Chad Henne for the 2012 pro bowl
Member of the Daniel Thomas bandwagon
Vontae Davis and Sean Smith = Sam Madison and Patrick Surtain 2.0
All hail the mighty brandstater
by AnishB15 on Sep 16, 2011 4:48 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
whats up texans fans
Good luck this Sunday, I’m hoping for a good, aerial onslaught with no injuries and a dolphins win in the end. Lol. Hope you guys make it to the playoffs and finally win your division, at least it lowers the jests chancs of getting in, lol. Texans fans who visited the phinsider (with the exception of Bo$$man, how do you guys handle him?) earlier were pretty classy. See you guys Sunday.
Captain of the Landry Jones bandwagon
Chad Henne for the 2012 pro bowl
Member of the Daniel Thomas bandwagon
Vontae Davis and Sean Smith = Sam Madison and Patrick Surtain 2.0
All hail the mighty brandstater
by AnishB15 on Sep 16, 2011 4:34 PM CDT via mobile reply actions 3 recs
he gets banned from his home blog
So he goes trolls on other people’s blogs? I don’t understand him.
Captain of the Landry Jones bandwagon
Chad Henne for the 2012 pro bowl
Member of the Daniel Thomas bandwagon
Vontae Davis and Sean Smith = Sam Madison and Patrick Surtain 2.0
All hail the mighty brandstater
by AnishB15 on Sep 16, 2011 4:40 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
If you did understand him...
we’d really have to worry about you.
by BruinBaller88 on Sep 16, 2011 6:22 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
Twice.
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Sep 16, 2011 5:36 PM CDT up reply actions
funny this guy is known...
Across multiple teams threads
by schillingb on Sep 16, 2011 6:23 PM CDT via iPhone app up reply actions
he's kinda hard to miss
He comes on our site spewing nonsense and is banned less than 5 hours later.
Captain of the Landry Jones bandwagon
Chad Henne for the 2012 pro bowl
Member of the Daniel Thomas bandwagon
Vontae Davis and Sean Smith = Sam Madison and Patrick Surtain 2.0
All hail the mighty brandstater
by AnishB15 on Sep 16, 2011 9:57 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Took you guys 5 hours?
I think that’s a new record
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
by Barryfromtexas on Sep 16, 2011 10:06 PM CDT up reply actions
I don't think the Jets or Saints blogs took that long to block him
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Sep 17, 2011 12:57 AM CDT up reply actions
Here's to no injuries and a good game.
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
by DilloTex on Sep 16, 2011 4:37 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
Well, unless we're playing the BESFs and Innegan is playing...
I make no promises in that case.
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
definately
Captain of the Landry Jones bandwagon
Chad Henne for the 2012 pro bowl
Member of the Daniel Thomas bandwagon
Vontae Davis and Sean Smith = Sam Madison and Patrick Surtain 2.0
All hail the mighty brandstater
by AnishB15 on Sep 16, 2011 4:39 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Fuck yeah!!!!
I want to see Daniel Thomas, just to spite reggie bush. He was a beast at KSU, and was pretty much their entire offense. Thought it was a GREAT pick by the dolphins
@THEREALALLENOU on twitter - "The man, the verb, the legend" OU'd
by AllenOU on Sep 16, 2011 4:45 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
DT will be a great back
But he needs to learn how to use his size to his advantage.
Captain of the Landry Jones bandwagon
Chad Henne for the 2012 pro bowl
Member of the Daniel Thomas bandwagon
Vontae Davis and Sean Smith = Sam Madison and Patrick Surtain 2.0
All hail the mighty brandstater
by AnishB15 on Sep 16, 2011 4:50 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
i dont think so
Thomas transferred there from a junior college.
Captain of the Landry Jones bandwagon
Chad Henne for the 2012 pro bowl
Member of the Daniel Thomas bandwagon
Vontae Davis and Sean Smith = Sam Madison and Patrick Surtain 2.0
All hail the mighty brandstater
by AnishB15 on Sep 16, 2011 9:58 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Vote on useless predictions of what "could" happen to Bush
vote for fun:
1. Bush gets rocked on the edge by Mario, rides off in a cart and does not return (later determined to be “shaken up” and ready for the next game), thus silencing national media goons on the 2006 dribble they had spent hours preparing for this game.
2. Cushing throws himself recklessly into Gruden’s favorite “A Gap” and knocks incoming Bush unconscious (same end results as choice #1)
3. Bush never shows up at the stadium and misses the game completely. Later that day it is discovered that VY took him to a South Beach party the night before.
Tough poll... I'm trying to figure out how ALL three could be true...
I’d like to see one of them shove a very cheap replica of the Heisman trophy up his grocery exit too please.
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
great poll
1 and 2 at the same time…..that would be great.
by BruiserTexans on Sep 17, 2011 12:00 AM CDT up reply actions
GoodLuck Dolphins!!
Its going to be a good game….i feel it
All I want to do is FAAAARRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMM!!!....and COok.
Good Game
After the TEXANS Roll that Ass
Being Insane I would know, I am a Texans Fan.
Wade Aid, Seconds Please
Our offensive line is illy madison
Texans in a blow out 35-17
My attitude is like a virgin......I dont give a fuck!
Unless there are really strange events
Texans score at least 30
I’ll say 32 – 16 I am not sure how they get that 32 though.
1) This is the game Mario gets a pick (on an intended swing pass to Bush
2) The Texans are in the Fins backfield all day (this helps K-Jax a lot)
3) Foster gets 3 TDs
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
Based on these predictions.
Foster 3TDs
Andre TD w/ OD catching the 2pt conversion
FG
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
and Twins
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
by Barryfromtexas on Sep 16, 2011 5:39 PM CDT up reply actions
31-17
Texans, Bush makes another commercial. 3 of fans in attendance less than 50k, Gloria Estefan gets stomach flu, rythym is gonna get ya.
Carpe Diem
by TEXAN_CHIEF on Sep 16, 2011 5:47 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
The Gloria Estefan prediction is practically a lock
by schillingb on Sep 16, 2011 6:26 PM CDT via iPhone app up reply actions
James Casey will trash talk,
and it will be something like this: “Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!”
by kozanack on Sep 16, 2011 6:24 PM CDT reply actions 3 recs
I predict
1.pain
2.????
3.profit
by schillingb on Sep 16, 2011 6:25 PM CDT via iPhone app reply actions 2 recs
i think its "boobs"
"////let it pan out before you kick da plan out\"
-mitmil22
by theSpaceCityKid on Sep 16, 2011 7:00 PM CDT up reply actions
The last time we played the Dolphins was the best game I have ever been to.
Absolutely exhilarating to win that way.
is that the same game we went up 27-0 before Konserviak called for a prevent defense and made Henne look like Montana before coming within an onside kick of a loss? that game was torture for me.
It's Our Time.... or something...
by bennprince on Sep 16, 2011 8:12 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Schaub high-stepping...
Truly memorable.
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
I don't know
I just have a bad feeling about this game
Why?
It’s not like they’ve burned you before…
by WhiskeyR on Sep 16, 2011 8:08 PM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
Rec through bitter tears
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
Can I balance creativity and reason?
We shall see.
1. The Texans will force point-saving turnovers inside their own territory on two separate occasions. The first will be on a Manning blind-side strip-sack. The second will come when a charging, block-shedding Glover Quin takes down Reggie Bush behind the line of scrimmage on a 4th-and-short swing pass. After celebrating, our front office will start to wonder why they never considered employing a competent safety before.
2. Schaub will scramble for a first-down. Was that too unreasonable?
3. Each of our inside linebackers will make a miraculous tackle on a 3rd-and-long screen pass that the rest of our defense bit on. Unfortunately, the entire defense will bite on screen passes at least two more times.
A half time tribute
To NCAA Football programs that cheat! Reggie Bush, The U and John Jenkins!
Carpe Diem
I'd be down for that.
//looks around for the wife//
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
lulz
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
by Barryfromtexas on Sep 16, 2011 9:14 PM CDT up reply actions
Kloe is getting fatter though
once upon a time she seemed to be losing some weight and looked pretty damn good (see PETA ad), but now its like she’s lashing out at her sister and not hitting the gym just to spite her.
That or she got married and continued to let herself go. Damn Kardashians. Gimme Mila Kunis over all 40 of them any day.
by WhiskeyR on Sep 17, 2011 11:16 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Agreed on Mila
but Kourtney is HOT.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
Kourtney's the oldest one
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Sep 17, 2011 4:38 PM CDT up reply actions
Alas the 2010 Kardashian is a high maintenance asset...
Truly more expensive for upkeep than for initial purchase price.
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
But as long as you have one, A championship is damn near guaranteed
But if you lose one, you’re going down the drain fast
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Sep 17, 2011 4:40 PM CDT up reply actions
Pancakes is officially retarded or something
Our local Texans insider and beat writer posted his obligatory Reggie Bush column last night and it was another gagger. Not only does he admit to wanting the Texans to draft Vince Young again, he screwed up the year of the draft. At face value it was no big deal and could have been written off as a typo. However, he explained himself by stating that he went back and researched it, then made a few phone calls to confirm that Mario was drafted in 2006. It was 5 friggin’ years ago and he had to research it? Most fringe fans know which year it was and this guy is calling Rick Smith to confirm. Can maple syrup kill brain cells or what?
It's Our Time.... or something...
He was bragging that he could call Rick Smith
After all nfl.com, yahoo, and who knows what else could have “confirmed” that
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
by Barryfromtexas on Sep 16, 2011 9:15 PM CDT up reply actions
FTFY
Our localTexansJerruhs Kids insider and Dallas-related news beat writer and D-list celebrity with an eating disorder…
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
Moocho FG's = Odd Score 26-16
1. Chad Henne will be sacked 4 times, loses 2 fumbles and gets int’d once
2. Texans Offense gets a 50+ yard TD
3. HartMan gets his “Eugene Seale” hit this week…and if not this week then next week
I'm also predicting
A 31-20 final score. We won’t score as much is the first half, maybe 14, but the offense will come alive in the 2nd half and carry us.
I think we have one turnover to their 3. It won’t be a Schaub INT but a fumble by one of the receivers. I’m thinking Casey. He needs to get one out of his system and he always fights for extra yards which is when fumbles happen.
For our three I’m going with 2 picks and one fumble recovery. 1 pick will be a direct result of Honey Badger tipping a pass. The other may be Joseph or Allen. The fumble recovery will be made after a sack.
Mario gets 2 more sacks and we have 5 total. Smith gets one, Watt gets one, and Cushing gets one.
The fins end up with 400 total yards but a lot of it comes in garbage time after it’s 31-13. Brandon Marshall catches a meaningless touchdown late.
Reggie Bush scores early then disappears. Fasano has a decent game.
They won’t stop us unless we stop ourselves. As always turnovers will be the difference. Jacoby will also fill in admirably for Walters and Arian will have about 70 yds and a TD. Tate also gets one as well as AJ and OD.
Sincerely,
Bob Fordodomous
Mario 2011 Opposing QB Shart count: 3
by Austin Bob_Ford on Sep 16, 2011 8:51 PM CDT via iPhone app reply actions
Walters?
How about I Punch-a-size your face for free! - Rod Farva
by distant_texans_fan on Sep 16, 2011 8:54 PM CDT up reply actions
Jason Allen with a pick six would be some sort of poetic justice.
And I’m pretty sure I just used the term ‘poetic justice’ incorrectly.
GET A SILK BAG FROM THE GRAVEYARD DUCK TO LIVE LONGER.
Dammit, Walter
I’m a little buzzed so that’s how I say it in my head movies…
Mario 2011 Opposing QB Shart count: 3
by Austin Bob_Ford on Sep 16, 2011 9:12 PM CDT via iPhone app up reply actions
a little Poetic Justice
Apparently, bleach has an act like an asshole effect.
Being Insane I would know, I am a Texans Fan.
Wade Aid, Seconds Please
by WreckNTexan on Sep 16, 2011 11:03 PM CDT up reply actions
Yeah
It’s closer to irony than poetic justice, but I get your point and agree totally.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
d a m m i t... now I gotta' go look up irony...
…to make sure I’m using it correctly.
Damn intellectually challenging board. or…
I cud juz start rolin lik dis here fuh realz…
/has to go wash paws to get that crap off
/decides to just go read
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
*in
Damn iPhones
Mario 2011 Opposing QB Shart count: 3
by Austin Bob_Ford on Sep 16, 2011 9:19 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Amen to the "Damn iPhones"...
I love the platform generally, but the “helpful” autocorrect pisses me off frequently.
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
Walters, Walters, Walters, Walters, ok Walter
do you wake up screaming in the middle of the night cuz people keep fucking up his name? somebody roasted me the other day for writing WALTERS…ahhhhhhhh
No - that's what you have been drinking
or were using to get into the store – not sure which
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
by Barryfromtexas on Sep 16, 2011 9:18 PM CDT up reply actions
Welker
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
Touche sir...
I stand corrected.
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
Wonder what would be in a "Straight Jacket & Soft Walls" ?
how bout…
1oz Patron Silver
1oz Caramel Flavored Bailey’s
Splash of Grenadine
sounds like it might actually taste good…Give yourself 10 shots of that and see where you wake up
Reminds me of when I "drank vodka" with Ukranians
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
by Barryfromtexas on Sep 16, 2011 9:39 PM CDT up reply actions
Always beware
when drinking with Eastern Block Dudes or Scotsman, you could easily wake up in a alcohol induced coma
As well as
drinking SoJu with the Koreans…I think that stuff is bottled gasoline and grab ya by the booboo if your not careful :)
Somebody's partying tonight!
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Sep 16, 2011 10:10 PM CDT up reply actions
Somebody should
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
by Barryfromtexas on Sep 16, 2011 10:16 PM CDT up reply actions
I don't think this one's going to be that close.
1. Mario Williams will tally up 1.5 sacks, and so will Antonio Smith.
2. Jason Allen will nab an INT against his former team.
3. Cameron Wake is going to finish with 2 sacks. Bad matchup for Winston, IMO.
PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: On a called run up the middle, Reggie Bust will be given the ball, see that the Texans have excellent contain on him, but will not run between the tackles in fear of seeing the mighty Shaun Cody waiting for him. He busts it to the outside, and before getting destroyed by Mario, he will piss his pants.
"Hakeem couldn't kick your ass cuz you were too
close kissin his!"- Sir Charles to Kenny Smith.
by bone31crusher on Sep 16, 2011 10:30 PM CDT reply actions 2 recs
+1
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
by Barryfromtexas on Sep 16, 2011 10:32 PM CDT up reply actions
Hello everyone!
I have been a fan of Houston football since Billy Cannon was tailback, oops, I wasn’t born till 68, but you get the point, I hope.
Somehow I cannot fathom this Sunday’s game being much different than what the Dolphish experienced on Monday night, from what I have seen during the preseason and the first game (remember Collins is…. or was a real quarterback who actually went to a superbowl once, and if bad memory is correct they won, btw manning doesn’t play defense) I havent seen anything from the dolphins that can actually beat the Texans, offence or defense. So Henne put up some numbers against the patsies, that’s all it was, (you’ll get those kinds of stats playing catsup) numbers. he might put up some numbers again this weekend, but again, just numbers. if I recall correctly Reggie Bush had less than 100 yards of offence against the Pats, 12 for 38 rushing and 7 for 56 recieving or something like that, NOT impressive to me, I read some fishfan say he was good last week, I don’t know what game they watched, um. I really don’t think that’s good.
There are some concerns with their offence, but…if I see the same thing I have seen from the Texans 1st stringers so far, dolphin fans are going to be quite disappointed with their defense.
my prediction 38-7 Texans. (Wade’s defense is way better than the patsies)
by Chrxtopher on Sep 16, 2011 10:44 PM CDT reply actions 5 recs
Welcome!
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Sep 16, 2011 10:46 PM CDT up reply actions
Howdy
And have some kool-aide
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
by Barryfromtexas on Sep 16, 2011 10:51 PM CDT up reply actions
That was for everybody?
Oops.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Sep 16, 2011 11:00 PM CDT up reply actions
In the Kool-Aide
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Sep 17, 2011 4:41 PM CDT up reply actions
Wade Aid Baby
Apparently, bleach has an act like an asshole effect.
Being Insane I would know, I am a Texans Fan.
Wade Aid, Seconds Please
by WreckNTexan on Sep 16, 2011 10:58 PM CDT up reply actions
^this
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
by Barryfromtexas on Sep 16, 2011 11:13 PM CDT up reply actions
It's like Kool Aid
but with more butter in it.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
and chocolate and marshmallows...
…and peanut butter…
…and butterscotch chips.
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
And Beer
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
by The Night Owl on Sep 17, 2011 4:42 PM CDT up reply actions
Delusional Dolphins fan
Dys’lexic
Much ? Miami 31 … Houston 13
How could a Team that just gave up 500 yards passing stop one the leagues most potent offenses the next week.
Apparently, bleach has an act like an asshole effect.
Being Insane I would know, I am a Texans Fan.
Wade Aid, Seconds Please
Blind enthusiasm?
They will be sorely disappointed
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
by Barryfromtexas on Sep 16, 2011 11:54 PM CDT up reply actions
you spelled it wrong
euthanasia fixed*
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
"Great, you've doomed us all!" - UprootedTexan
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
I am so glad that we actually play the games...
…so that all doubts can be resolved.
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
Three Predictions
1. A shackled Nevin Shapiro dawning orange gear with white numbering (not a Miami jersey) will buy ’Dre one last drink on Saturday night.
2. The ghost of Sean Taylor will be laughing at Kareem Jackson’s coverage skills.
3. Gianni Versace will come back from the dead and slap Wade Phillips in the face with a pair of Dan Marino’s isotoners for thinking it was a good idea to wear shorts.
"There's two kinds of coaches, them that's fired and them that's gonna be fired." ~ Bum Phillips
by H-town Fanatic on Sep 17, 2011 2:36 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Wow... eclectic news-related rec...
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
Swish!
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Sep 17, 2011 11:36 AM CDT up reply actions
Nuttin' but net...
"Suck it, Jim Tressel, you filthy, cheating, unfashionable piece of monkey scrotum."
- MDC
"Because this is a blog and I’m an argumentative bastard." - tehGrindCrusher
For the 3rd year in a row Schaub has an outstanding week 2 performance.
Prediction: 11-5 AFC South champions.
Agreed.
I think he rights his TD:INT ratio with a cool 4:0.
by Nashmeister on Sep 17, 2011 11:34 AM CDT up reply actions
The article says that Nick Mathews wrote those rankings, not Pancakes.
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Sep 17, 2011 11:51 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
drawing names out of a hat
is the only way this could happen, really? the Bears? the Lions? the Redskins? the Bills? what have they done? the Saints at 16? the power ranking I read had our beloved Texans at #7 I question the mind that created this article. how many gin and tonics did it take to write this?
did I type that outloud? oops.
The Bills are better than most give them credit for
Their offense and defense are no joke. I’d put them very close to the Texans this season. I don’t care how bad KC is, Buffalo proved they deserve respect.
Other than that I have no comment
-- "...I was sick, napping, and then woke up and came to the computer to read a note from the Gingered Angel of Doom..." Martek - Dynamo Theory Blog
31-17 Texans Win
Miami’s Defense looked terrible and I don’t think it will be all fixed after one week. Jets Nation is behind you! Crush those Dolphins!
"I just build our guys up. If it's trash talking that I believe in our football team, then, yes, I agree with that statement. I'm the biggest trash talker there is." Rex Ryan
by OldJetsFanatic on Sep 17, 2011 12:37 PM CDT reply actions
31-21
Dolphins sit at 7 for most of the game. B/C we ATTACK. Mario has 2 sacks. Watt gets his first sack and Brooks Reed gets a FF Sack.
Then we let up, like always and they start to come back. Making it wayyy too close. But GQ has an INT, and so does Joseph.
AJ has a MONSTER game 150 2 TD’s and so does Owen w 100 yds and a TD. Foster comes back with a vengeance and has a 100 yd game w/ a TD/
At the end of the day we build on the notion that we are for real this year. We are to be feared. We are a DESTROYER OF WORLDS!!!!
Sorry.. got too caught up there…
Sorry.. got too caught up there…
by YohannDookeyblue on Sep 17, 2011 6:20 PM CDT reply actions
My other prediction is that if the Dolphins lose
They will claim it was because the Texans got away with holding all game or blame it on luck. I’ve never seen a fan base who complain about holding more than they do.
"I just build our guys up. If it's trash talking that I believe in our football team, then, yes, I agree with that statement. I'm the biggest trash talker there is." Rex Ryan
They really have no business calling anyone else out for homerism.
Looking back through that fanpost they put up is a little bit painful. According to those last two Dolphins fans that joined that thread (PotM and Jason Scott 90) the Dolphins are the greatest thing since toaster strudels and there is no conceivable way any team in the NFL can match up against them so they may just cancel the NFL season and give the Dolphins the Lombardi trophy.
I understand being confident in your team, but it takes a special kind of delusion to think there are no weaknesses anywhere.
GET A SILK BAG FROM THE GRAVEYARD DUCK TO LIVE LONGER.
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