Three And Out: Useless Predictions For Steelers-Texans
by Tim on Sep 30, 2011 5:00 PM CDT
in Three And Out
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PrintLast week's predictions weren't a total failure. Part of me is tempted to get out of the prediction game while I still can. Settle down, raise a family, work a regular job...that all sounds real nice. Unfortunately, I can't change what I am. And what I am, my friends, is a moron with a weekly in-season predictions hack job that masquerades as a running feature here at BRB. It's part of me, and I can't turn my back on it.
Until I get lazy and skip a week, anyway.
On to this week's predictions sure to go horribly, horribly wrong!
1. Arian Foster makes a triumphant return to the starting lineup and GOES OFF. Not just in the running game (20 carries for 91 yards and a TD), but also in the passing game (6 receptions for 63 yards and a TD). The latter is of particularly great benefit, as Matt Schaub is able to get the ball to Foster (as well as James Casey and Owen Daniels) quickly in order to combat the Steelers' pressure.
2. There's been a lot of talk this week about how banged up and/or ineffective the Steelers' offensive line is. Whereas this would not have mattered to the 2010 Texans, who would have gotten lit up to the tune of 425 yards of total offense regardless, it will matter to the 2011 Texans, and they will take advantage of Pittsburgh's ailing OL. Problem is, Ben Roethlisberger is one of the best, if not the best, at keeping a play alive in the face of pressure.
/waits for everyone to make totally original joke about Roethlisberger
That, coupled with the sad reality that Kareem Jackson is still starting at corner (thus meaning Roethelisberger does not need to extend plays to target Ice Kareem's assignment), makes me think the Steelers will be able to move the ball through the air. It won't be a bloodletting, mind you; the Houston secondary on balance is solid enough that we won't see anything resembling what we might have seen last year. But when the Steelers go four or five wide, forcing Troy Nolan and Kareem Jackson onto the field (apparently because Brandon Harris ate his salad with his dinner fork, thus damning him to the fourteenth spot on the DB depth chart)? I remain concerned. Roethelisberger will get hit, but he will manage to throw for 243 yards, 2 TDs, and 1 INT.
3. Those sorts of numbers from Roethlisberger bode well for the Texans, don't they? It's not like he's throwing for 300+ yards, 3 TDs, and no turnovers. That's a testament to what I believe the Texans' pass rush, in concert with Pittsburgh's OL, will do on Sunday. Unfortunately, I think the Steelers, even with their OL problems, will be able to run the ball straight up the middle of the Texans' defense.
That's not an indictment of DeMeco Ryans or Brian Cushing. It's an indictment of the fact that Shaun Cody and Earl Mitchell are still your NTs, and they won't be able to keep anyone off the Texans' linebackers. There's a reason 84% of the rushing plays directed at the Houston defense have been categorized as up the middle: It works. For all of the concern about Rashard Mendenhall tip-toeing through the tulips instead of hitting the hole, I expect a big game from him as Pittsburgh exploits the middle. In other words, TDC's concerns are wholly justified. Mendenhall finishes with a TD and 118 rushing yards on 22 carries.
PUT YOUR NAME ON IT: I'm stunned at the amount of love the Texans are receiving this week. Seems like the overwhelming majority of talking heads, columnists, and fans are picking the Texans to handle the Steelers. With ease, even. I'm not sure I'm ready to live in a world where all of the participants in Battle Red Radio pick the Texans to beat the Steelers. I don't even know who those guys are anymore.
While I know the Steelers may be vulnerable, I can't pick them to lose to the Texans on Sunday. I have visions of Dick LeBeau's boys getting into Schaub's kitchen all afternoon and forcing a late-game turnover that ultimately allows the Steelers to walk out of Houston with a win. Steelers 24, Texans 21.
Steelers vs Texans coverage
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First
To be banned…
I am calling Ben Fumbles twice…
Joseph has another pick
and we kick 3 field goals
I got another year out of my Steve Slaton jersey...wahoo!
27-13 JUGGERNAUT
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
30-16 Good Guys
Red zone scoring gets tons better just because of #23
Defense scores 1st td of the year
My attitude is like a virgin......I dont give a fuck!
27-20 Texans.
The Steelers are a great team, and I too am stunned that so many analysts are picking the Texans to manhandle them. But my gut says we win this one.
Big Ben will get sacked at least three times during this one.
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Sep 30, 2011 5:32 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
And that's just from Mario.
I didn’t even mention Cody’s 12.
Wow - I don't even have 19 pairs of pants to shit
I’ll have to cut some leg holes in a hefty bag I guess
If Cody managed TWO sacks
90% of the Texans’ fanbase would go
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
Watt and Smith will each pick up a sack, while Mario racks up two. Hopefully the Steelers’ offensive line generously allows us a few more on top of those.
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Sep 30, 2011 6:05 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Opting to go big over going home...
I’m calling:
Texans – 31
Steelers – 16
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
Over.
Canal Street Chronicles-A place of great Saints news and information. Oh and the stuff I write!
Bring back Aaron Brooks! He's the only one who can save us from the evil that is Drew Brees!!
I'm going with...
Steelers 9 (three field goals and their offense never gets inside our 30)
Texans 24 (pitch fork wielding fans are ready to run off Schaub who can’t perform well despite 7 more red zone appearances)
Breaking News: Big Ben’s return to Pitt is delayed two days while he recovers up the street at the medical center after a five sack game led by Smith, Watt, Barwin, Mario and Manning. Two weeks later he is brought up on familiar assault charges by a nurse who comes forward to break the story.
I like the Texans
1. This game is in Reliant Stadium. The fans will be fired up and after reading MDCs Saints games reports, the Texans will unleash their new TD party song.
2. Arian Foster is back and in true pterodactyl form he will be screeching out of control, out of reach, and out of the box.
3. Mike Wallace is one of the biggest threats in the NFL, plus the Steelers have a number of young burners that will make Lance Moore look sluggish. Wade Phillips will double cover Wallace and bump the others as he unleashes the rush on Roethlisberger. The Steelers run game is not effective, so the Steelers will be going with a 7-3 pass-run ratio. The few times they go to Mendenhall will be on delayed handoffs and screens. The relentlessness of Antonio Smith, Connor Barwin and JJ Watt will be key in snuffing these out.
Texans 32-24
I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.
by Rip Jersey on Sep 30, 2011 5:56 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
i predict
Steelers 21
Texans 17
experienced defense wins this game.
- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.
"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers
by NoSafetiesNeeded on Sep 30, 2011 6:04 PM CDT reply actions
I’m not sure I’m ready to live in a world where all of the participants in Battle Red Radio pick the Texans to beat the Steelers.
Hey, I picked them to win narrowly. It’s the other two jokers who need to be shamed.
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter | Football Outsiders | Battle Red Blog
Quiet, you!
Or I’ll have bfd talk about his erection again!
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
BOING!
And 100% viagra free!
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Sep 30, 2011 10:51 PM CDT up reply actions
First of all - last chance for my sig to become truth
I believe the Texans win this one 28ish to 13ish
I am pretty sure Ben continues the more ints than TDs this game.
Hopefully Mario is unleashed this game instead of merely playing “contain” as he did at NO
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
I predict
Big Ben will violate a Kardashian in pre game warmups, afterwards he is violated by Mario
Texans 30 Steelers 20
Carpe Diem
I'd totally forgotten about that picture.
Always good for a lol.
Also, think she can play NT?
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
by MDC on Oct 1, 2011 7:48 AM CDT up reply actions
Texans over Steelers 41-24
Because fuck the Steelers.
by LedTexan on Sep 30, 2011 6:22 PM CDT reply actions 6 recs
lulz
Mario Williams will have 4 sacks and 1 int by Game 4 of the regular season.
by Barryfromtexas on Sep 30, 2011 6:23 PM CDT up reply actions
I like where your head's at
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
by MDC on Sep 30, 2011 7:31 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Nice sentiment, but you spelled it wrong.
It’s “Stealers.”
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
Football is war by other means. - Carl von Clausewitz...sorta.
by UprootedTexan on Sep 30, 2011 9:02 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
I picked the Steelers to win this preseason.
I’m sticking with my guns. Steelers in a tight one 28-27
by JBal on Sep 30, 2011 6:24 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
I predict Casserly will show up and have the roof open over reliant
SO WE CAN SWEAT THEM BOYS OUT LIKE WE DID IN ’05, oh wait…
I predict simply, a win.
"We're goin with what we got"
Fucking Chris berman
This motherfucker hasn’t once picked us to win in his weekly picks, not even week 1 against Indy WTF
by TheDream34 on Sep 30, 2011 6:51 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
what is that segment
“Swami Sez?” does he do those every week just to troll viewers?
"We're goin with what we got"
by silentassassin on Sep 30, 2011 6:57 PM CDT up reply actions
Chris Berman is a hack and one of the worst sports personalities on the planet.
I honestly can’t see how bad, unoriginal nicknames and tired catchphrases kept this man with a job so damn long.
GET A SILK BAG FROM THE GRAVEYARD DUCK TO LIVE LONGER.
Texans almost there
Steelers are a better team when healthy. I don’t see how they do it on the road with a decimated offensive line. The Steelers are not better than the Texans with backup offensive tackles and guards. I doubt they will even try to run. It will be all about getting to Ben before those fast Steeler receivers burn us. We can score some points if we get the Steeler D tired. Houston 24 Pittsburgh 17, if Pittsburgh O line was playing, Pittsburgh 27 Houston 17. But they’re not going to be playing.
by Football Historian on Sep 30, 2011 7:30 PM CDT reply actions 4 recs
Newb rec
Welcome!
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Sep 30, 2011 10:52 PM CDT up reply actions
24-20 final score
quite an exciting game, Foster blows it up but is spelled by Tate to ease Kubes’ mind, Wallace manhandles KJ, Mendy has average game, and JJ Watt is our defensive MVP!
We run it early and often.
Tire out the steeler D. Then pound them with AJ, Daniels, and Casey. Stay in Worthlessburgers face all day on the defensive side and he’ll throw picks like a farmer at harvest time. Texans win 35 to 17.
no matter how bad they play, no matter how stupid they act, I still love my texans!
31-24
Texans put this one to bed early. Reliant will be Rocking. And round it out with, some more Wade Aid
Apparently, bleach has an act like an asshole effect.
Being Insane I would know, I am a Texans Fan.
"Wade aid has lean in it, just saying"
Wade Aid pass it around, 3rd helping on the way.
I predict that Texans win with a game minute drive
& Schaub finally throws a fade route to Andre to clinch the win
Murphy’s 20th Military Law:
If it’s stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid
"Fuck em all. Go Texans."
My bro is a cowboy fan
And he says how do you like the Wade Prvent D. last week. I told him that the jerry’s still SUCK!
31-20 houston
Offense: daniels has two td day
Defense: watt gets national rec for two sacks two pd’s and 7 tackles 4 of which are behind the line
Special teams: hartman gets fined $15,000 for his hit of the year
Another prediction
I think the Texans QB pressure will be enormous all afternoon. Roethlisberger will have a career worst day. He will throw five interceptions. Ss, CBs and LBs will be reeling in errant and tipped throws. I’m changing my score prediction to Texans 42-3. Also, thanks to Kubiak the score is limited to the 40s because he unplugs Schaub and Foster/Tate in the 4th quarter and unleashes Leinart and OB1 in mop-up duty. OB1 ends up with 100 yards as a result and the Texans have the first game with three 100 yard rushers.
I didn't do anything wrong!.... and, I won't do it again.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter
by MDC on Oct 1, 2011 6:00 PM CDT up reply actions
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