How The Upcoming Texans Playoff Game Compares To The Last Texans Playoff Game
My first job was a summer job working for my dad in his office. He was the CFO for a home health company and I was doing data entry with manual timecards. I remember I caught a guy who was falsifying his time card and my dad bought me something or another as a reward.
My first baseball game was at the Astrodome. Nolan Ryan was pitching and they still had that crazy scoreboard which, as a 5 year old, I thought was the greatest thing in the history of mankind.
My first kiss was with this girl with long, curly hair. She was smoking hot. My first of other things with women shall remain classified for the sake of blog decency.
My first live playoff game was at the old Miami Arena where the Heat played the Atlanta Hawks. The Heat were massive underdogs, not yet the most hated team in sports, and lost.
My first time getting drunk is a lost memory, but my first hangover resulted in me swearing I would never drink again.
My first time breaking a real promise to myself was only a few days after my first hangover.
We always (or almost always) remember our first. Second events may be better or more rewarding, but they are rarely more memorable. Barring some miraculous event in this Sunday's game, we will not spend our waning years spinning tales to our grandchildren about the day the Texans played the Ravens in the divisional round.
If the Texans win, then the AFC Championship game will immediately be more important and if the Texans lose, the Cincinnati game will always be more memorable.
And that's the way it should be.
The thrill of losing our playoff virginity has now passed and the Texans are now just another playoff football team trying to survive the week. After yearning to join this exclusive club for so long, we are now "just one of the guys."
There will be no inspiring speeches or emotional posts this time around, and while it was fun to live in that moment, I think most rational Texans fans would rather be in this position. I do not want it to be a momentous occasion when the Texans succeed. I want it to be expected.
In last week's post, I made a comparison between Texans fans and the convenience store clerk from Fight Club saying that, because of the fact that our fan base has been so tortured and starved, we can appreciate small victories more than others.
This is still true. It will never cease to be true. Cherish last weekend. Remember it like you remember the first time you saw boobies (or whatever the equivalent memory is for women).
Then pray to whatever deity you worship that you never feel that way again.
While we may embrace this first playoff run, the idea is to repeat the experience frequently. We want to be one of those teams that doesn't place any special meaning on a simple playoff berth. We want to be one of those teams that is disappointed when it doesn't happen.
That doesn't mean we need to become one of those terribly annoying fan bases that looks down on other fan bases and is hated by all. We should always remember the pain of the playoffless years and the sting of disappointment. I will be pretty upset if five years from now, people lump our fan base in with Cowboys or Steelers fans who have that annoying sense of entitlement.
Still, should this year follow up with another 18 years of despair, then even this past weekend will feel pretty hollow.
Fortunately, the Texans leadership has positioned the team for sustained success. It took longer than we all would have liked, but with a young and explosive offense and a young and destructive defense (led by an old and staying-in-Houston defensive coordinator), the team is set to experience many more playoff games in the years to come.
As the second playoff game in Texans history approaches, the Texans are no longer the wide-eyed innocent child seeing the playoff frontier for the first time. They're not hardened veterans either, but they have a playoff win under their belts and the prospect of many more in their future.
The focus this week is on the game and not the spectacle. It's on Arian Foster and Ray Lewis. On how T.J. Yates will react to the pressure from the Baltimore defense or if Joe Flacco can lead his team past a swarming Texans defense.
With no disrespect intended toward Cincinnati, the challenge this week is far greater. The probability of the season ending this weekend is much higher (as it should be as a team advances through the playoffs). The stakes are higher.
But this week it's all about playoff football and less about a statement.
Last week tGC implored you to "enjoy the shit out of every second" of the playoff experience. That's good advice and you should probably try to adhere to that again.
When you turn on your televisions this Sunday, though, you won't see Bum Phillips leading the charge out of the locker room (side note: I can't help but wonder if that moment pulled at Wade's heartstrings enough to play a minor role in his decision to cancel his interview. If so, shrewd move, Texans).
While last week's game is the one I'll remember when I'm an old man sitting in my rocker and yelling at these kids to stay off my damn lawn, from a football perspective, this weekend's game is far more important.
May the endings be similar.
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Please God
Let the Texans win 3 more games this year.
Madame de Staël once said, "One must choose in life between boredom and suffering." De Staël is dead but there is always an alternative.
This is where the cool is.
I think you mean...
This season
*Proud Packers shareholder*
With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!
by RaY210 on Jan 13, 2012 2:12 PM CST via mobile up reply actions 4 recs
Correct good sir
Madame de Staël once said, "One must choose in life between boredom and suffering." De Staël is dead but there is always an alternative.
This is where the cool is.
should it not be
“Enjoy the shit out of every second”? It doesn’t quite have the same effect the way it is at the minute aha. Sorry to be “that guy”….
Good piece though, lets hope we get to enjoy a first Superbowl sooner rather than later
You're certainly right
this is definitey a bigger challenge than Cincy. However, I think the Texans will come out with the W. And here’s why:
First off, J-Jo twisted his ankle during the previous matchup and got burned a couple of times by Boldin. Now he’s relatively healthy and Boldin’s the one with the injury. Expect big things from Mr. Joseph this time around. Our secondary is playing lights out.
Foster had a bad outing during the last game; he too has a purple chip on his shoulder. I expect him to outperform Rice in every facet of the game. Look for Tate to get his touches, too.
During the last matchup, our front 7 were harrasing Flacco all game, but Flacco somehow managed to get the ball away a millisecond before getting sacked. He won’t be so lucky this time… Wade will make sure of that.
And of course, Andre Johnson. He is the cornerstone of our offense. He is what makes the play action so deadly. He’s the one that streches the field. He’s the one that carries 3 defenders on his back for a TD while sipping a latte… well you get my point. His presence will tip the scales Sunday. And the Texans will win. 20 – 13.
Swat and swim, dip and rip, twist and spin; just do whacha gotta do to light up that QB.
by swikky on Jan 13, 2012 1:53 PM CST reply actions 4 recs
For some reason
When I was reading this – when it came to Andre Johnson – I hear it like this
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Jan 13, 2012 10:36 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
brilliant piece
was listening to MAD radio on the way home from a quick stop at best buy and heard meltzer recite the “inches” speech from al pacino in Any Given Sunday. this certainly motivated me more than meltzers drone voice and botching of the entire monologue(like the guy, but he can be hard to listen to sometimes). it was a good idea though. so, in honor of our boys in blue (and white and red), I present to you al pacinos “inches” speech from Any Given Sunday.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOynXRg_leY
Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
Albert Einstein, "Science, Philosophy and Religion: a Symposium", 1941
by grandmasteroz on Jan 13, 2012 2:08 PM CST reply actions 3 recs
Wreckin' the shit outta this!!!!!
Makes me want to watch the whole movie now.
Just my $.02
Even duct tape can't fix stupid
Guess who just got Any Given Sunday on BluRay today!!
How about I Punch-a-size your face for free! - Rod Farva
by distant_texans_fan on Jan 13, 2012 8:45 PM CST up reply actions
Oh Noes
The mighty Dierdorf thinks we are going to lose this weekend, we should probably just go ahead and cancel the game.
Dierdorf, big surprise, doesn’t give the Texans much of a chance in Baltimore, and as can be his wont, he’s condescending about it, too.
"Congratulations to the Texans for making the playoffs for the first time ever and winning a playoff game, but they are in for a rude awakening," he said in remarks released by CBS. "It is one thing to beat Cincinnati at home and quite another to go to Baltimore and play a rested, extremely balanced football team.
"Never underestimate the dumb with JJ" - Hugh Jarce
I do love their balance
they have a great defense, and a one dimensional offense. Those guys are world beaters.
by Bobbythegreat on Jan 13, 2012 2:20 PM CST up reply actions
I disagree that their offense is one dimensional all the time
but agree in the sense that it has become that from time to time.
/refers to good Flacco/bad Flacco discussions found in several threads
/loves the fact that Flacco appears to be focused on media perceptions of him rather than shutting the hell up and preparing to endure a steady diet of ninjas and honey badgers for 3+ hours
"The best thing about being a cynic......is that you are never surprised." ~Anonymous
"Don't get yourself a bunch of tricky plays.......get yourself a bunch of tricky players." `Paul "Bear" Bryant
Eat me, David Stern.
by Christopher H on Jan 13, 2012 5:44 PM CST up reply actions
IAF
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
He can DIAF
"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." -- Benjamin Disraeli
"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers." -- Homer Simpson
"There is no rehab for stupid." -- Chris Rock
Never try to baptize a cat.
Well Balanced?!
Look the Ravens have a great defense, a decent offensive, with an exceptional Ray Rice. These sports “experts” are making seem as if our defense and offense will be on the field having a picnic and playing patty cake. Our standing as a high ranking defense and high ranking offense mean absolutely nothing to those troglodytes.
by Pbomb on Jan 13, 2012 2:31 PM CST via Android app up reply actions
I feel better now
Dumba$$ Dierdork is picking against us…he’s always wrong.
"I don’t like to really get in the quarterback’s head because I know he has a thousand other things to think about when he’s out on the field, but T.J. knows where I’m at."—Wide receiver Andre Johnson, on whether or not he lobbies for the ball in the huddle.
A rude awakening?
Didn’t we play this exact same team in the exact same stadium in week 6? After they came off a bye? What exactly are they gonna surprise us with? Stripper cheerleaders making out on the sidelines? Hill giants on their defensive line?
Moron.
The say the f**king smog is the f**king reason you have such beautiful f**king sunsets. - Ray Barboni
Bring on the Hill Giants
Cush will destroy them
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
by professortex on Jan 13, 2012 5:56 PM CST up reply actions
And Foster....
/facepalm
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
by professortex on Jan 13, 2012 5:57 PM CST up reply actions
And bring on the sideline strippers..
/someone had to say it
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Jan 13, 2012 10:39 PM CST up reply actions
A funny tweet from Steph Stradley
Stephanie Stradley @StephStradley
Speaking of feeling stabby, #Gumbledorf calling #Texans #Ravens gm. Dierdorf TV is ear vomit.
The say the f**king smog is the f**king reason you have such beautiful f**king sunsets. - Ray Barboni
by LedTexan on Jan 13, 2012 6:30 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
This nickname will live on forever
Dan “Ear Vomit” Dierdorff
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Jan 13, 2012 10:40 PM CST up reply actions
Agreed
Let it be written, let it be done
Week 19 Texans > Week 6 Texans….and I can’t wait to see the look on some Ravens faces when that reality hits home!
...and all those garbed in Battle Red murmured, "amen".
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
I welcome the stripper cheerleaders
"I don’t like to really get in the quarterback’s head because I know he has a thousand other things to think about when he’s out on the field, but T.J. knows where I’m at."—Wide receiver Andre Johnson, on whether or not he lobbies for the ball in the huddle.
Remember it like you remember the first time you saw boobies (or whatever the equivalent memory is for women).
The first time they got a dude’s credit card? I kidd
daytime commentator. night time ninja.
by El.Dude on Jan 13, 2012 2:35 PM CST reply actions 5 recs
ha
that’s funny.
Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
Albert Einstein, "Science, Philosophy and Religion: a Symposium", 1941
by grandmasteroz on Jan 13, 2012 2:38 PM CST up reply actions
lol
I think it might be the first token of affection, like flowers or something similar, but getting the credit card is a close second
No matter how old you are, no matter how badass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.
It's also funny
cuz his name is El Dude.
Matt Schoob, Mary O' Williams, Adrian Foster, Jacoby Ford, Kevin Walters, and Daniel Owens are my favorite Texans!
by MeSoLongHorny on Jan 13, 2012 3:57 PM CST up reply actions
Death to the Ratbirds. That is all.
You are banned from Stampede Blue.
You can browse the blog, but you can't participate.
Hi CFHTim. You're trolling yet another SB Nation blog. Since you've been banned from several other SB Nation blogs, you don't get a warning. You get banned. If you want to get unbanned, email BBS and state your case for re-admission.
by CFHTim on Jan 13, 2012 3:01 PM CST reply actions 4 recs
Love the pic...
but it’s a horse hoof, not a bovine, so not sure if it still applies.
/takes off debbie downer hat
Still awesome pic
No matter how old you are, no matter how badass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.
Shhh don't tell anyone
You are banned from Stampede Blue.
You can browse the blog, but you can't participate.
Hi CFHTim. You're trolling yet another SB Nation blog. Since you've been banned from several other SB Nation blogs, you don't get a warning. You get banned. If you want to get unbanned, email BBS and state your case for re-admission.
just like it's always been around here, any four legged critter willing to participate and allow pics...
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
how do i put up a pic thats on my computer but not on the internet?
Rectum!? Damn near killed 'em!!!
by theSpaceCityKid on Jan 13, 2012 3:22 PM CST reply actions
Go to photobucket.com
It’s free to join and you can upload all the pics you want. Copy the URL of the pic you want from the website. Then, click on the “image” icon here and paste that URL here.
"I don’t like to really get in the quarterback’s head because I know he has a thousand other things to think about when he’s out on the field, but T.J. knows where I’m at."—Wide receiver Andre Johnson, on whether or not he lobbies for the ball in the huddle.
I was about to make the same suggestion when I saw the pic show up.
Dallas Cowboys, all hat and no cattle since 1996.
"Will it never be noon?" Duke of Orleans to the Dauphin and Constable of France every Sunday before the Texans play.
by Jonathan Fosburgh on Jan 13, 2012 3:37 PM CST up reply actions
nevermind i got it...
check out this sweet pic i just made on microsoft paint

Rectum!? Damn near killed 'em!!!
by theSpaceCityKid on Jan 13, 2012 3:25 PM CST reply actions 3 recs
OK, disregard my reply above.
"I don’t like to really get in the quarterback’s head because I know he has a thousand other things to think about when he’s out on the field, but T.J. knows where I’m at."—Wide receiver Andre Johnson, on whether or not he lobbies for the ball in the huddle.
Antonio Smith
(on if he mind tricked defensive coordinator Wade Phillips into staying) "Yeah, when he was asleep, he didn’t even know I was there. I spoke very silent ninja words to him. It shoots and hits right at the top of the medulla oblongata and it made him do exactly what I wanted him to do."
Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
by Gerbillogic on Jan 13, 2012 4:06 PM CST reply actions 6 recs
He needs to sneak into Flacco's house and speak ninja words like...
“Throw to Jonathan Joseph” or “hold the ball for 10 seconds before throwing”…etc.
"I don’t like to really get in the quarterback’s head because I know he has a thousand other things to think about when he’s out on the field, but T.J. knows where I’m at."—Wide receiver Andre Johnson, on whether or not he lobbies for the ball in the huddle.
I think he can use those ninja tricks from the line on Sunday :)
Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
by Gerbillogic on Jan 13, 2012 4:32 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
For me
I’m much more relaxed for this game. I really really didn’t want to go one and done. The Texans proved they belong in the postseason, now I can sit back and just enjoy the ride. I won’t be ashamed if we lose to the Ravens the way I would have been if we lost to the Bengals. Plus, less annoying BOOBIAK comments.
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
I TOLD myself I'd be more relaxed for this game. After all, house money, right?
Wrong.
I’m already so amp’d it will take near-fatal intakes of ethanol to get me to sleep tonight and tomorrow night, and I will probably wake up at 5am Sunday, just like last Saturday.
Of course this means if we lose to the Ravens, I will…oh god, I don’t want to think about it.
I love the playoffs.
"How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!"
-Chief Inspector Dreyfus
by FreedomRide on Jan 13, 2012 4:50 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
"I love the playoffs."
Indeed.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
I mean i'm super excited and amped
but not worried about it.
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
hey nolander
Did you say you’re in the OC before? I’m in Newport – where you watching the game?
I'm not THAT worried...
no more than I would be about the results of a biopsy.
"How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!"
-Chief Inspector Dreyfus
OT:
Dom Capers being considered as Raiders’ coach.
Unbelievable…oh, wait…Raiders…uh-huh.
"How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!"
-Chief Inspector Dreyfus
Are you sure about that?
What’s Capers time in the 40? You know the Davis family loves speed…
"You mean, besides two chicks at the same time?"
by Ezekiel 25 17 on Jan 13, 2012 9:34 PM CST up reply actions
The dead Al Davis will walk...
…he will approve this choice.
"How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!"
-Chief Inspector Dreyfus
I'm a lot older than 5
And I still think that scoreboard was the greatest thing in the history of mankind.
Fuck you, Beelzebud.
The say the f**king smog is the f**king reason you have such beautiful f**king sunsets. - Ray Barboni
He extorted the city into replacing it with seats....
….then left a few years later anyway. World Class Asshole, that one.
"You mean, besides two chicks at the same time?"
by Ezekiel 25 17 on Jan 13, 2012 9:35 PM CST up reply actions
Left while the City/County was STILL paying for the conversion
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Jan 13, 2012 10:44 PM CST up reply actions
relax.
texans win going away. i just got a feeling by halftime the crowd will be pretty quiet…
we bout to goldberg they ass.
and not goldberg from wwe..
goldberg from WCW.
Michael: The feeling that you're feeling is what many of us call...a feeling.
Gob: It's not like envy, or even hungry...
Fear the Spear!
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Jan 13, 2012 7:25 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
As if we needed any more proof
of much of an insufferable idiot Bill Immons is, he has picked the Ravens to beat the Texans 30-3.
God is not on our side because he hates idiots also.
by Meta Sandoval on Jan 13, 2012 7:12 PM CST via mobile reply actions
*Simmons
God is not on our side because he hates idiots also.
by Meta Sandoval on Jan 13, 2012 7:41 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
I like Immons.
Somebody needs to beat the s___ out of him for that prediction.
"How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!"
-Chief Inspector Dreyfus
by FreedomRide on Jan 13, 2012 7:56 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
lulz
You sure it wasn’t Richard making the prediction?
"The greatest danger in planning for tomorrow is using yesterdays logic."
Marc Kahlberg
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I think we will learn that the Bo$$man was right
by Barryfromtexas on Jan 13, 2012 10:45 PM CST up reply actions
That's some upper-level stupid.
Fuck him.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
They beat us by 2 touchdowns
so naturally, they’ll walk all over us this Sunday. Should be pretty easy, actually.
I just re-watched the game. If Arian Foster catches a third down pass that Bernard Freakin Pollard defends, things may be different. Then again, there are many ifs that could lead it to a 3 TD win for them as well.
I think they are right to be confident. We were confident against the Bengals having already beaten them on a last second, miracle play by 1 point.
Great post. This team will show up. We showed them last weekend how badly we want it. If the Tebows pull it out tomorrow night, I guarantee a win for the good guys. AJ will give a speech at the hotel imploring the guys to bring this act back to H-town one more time before we head to Indy.
Is it Sunday yet?
TJ must throw 30 times for us to win.
That 3rd down drop/play by Pollard was the momentum changer.
The offense crumbled after that and the defense tired out because of it.
Yeah, their fans beleive that stuff too
Its because the Ravens have gotten better since we played them and we have obviously gotten worse, which is shown by our last 3 season games.
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
by professortex on Jan 14, 2012 3:08 PM CST up reply actions
humm...text box fail
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
by professortex on Jan 14, 2012 3:09 PM CST up reply actions
it finishes as: “we have obviously gotten worse as shown by the last 3 season games”
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
by professortex on Jan 14, 2012 3:10 PM CST up reply actions
I Wish it was Sunday
Also Patriots please for the love of tebow blitz ten men on the last play of the game I kid of course no way that happens again.
Is also convinced that Tebow is one of the for horseman of the apocolypse {Plays for Broncos threw for 316} Mark my words if Tebow wins the super bowl I’m withdrawing my life savings and moving to Bora Bora. and awaiting whatever tragic horrors that head our way
I might move to Bora Bora, too.
Just to avoid all the Tebowites.
To Ricky WIlliams
What you gonna do when the Cush smokes you? (If you even touch the ball)
by Andre'sJohnson on Jan 13, 2012 11:30 PM CST reply actions
/punned...
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
I predict Brian Cushing goes Les Grossman on Ray Rice
Cushing as Grossman
Rice as Flaming Dragon who just called to smack talk the Texans…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S96DVTtvXqY&feature=related
“I am talking scorched earth!”
Week 19 Texans > Week 6 Texans….and I can’t wait to see the look on some Ravens faces when that reality hits home!





























