On the plane ride back to Houston earlier this night, I sat back wondering why does this hurt so bad? This lose is heavier than any loss I've felt before, this hurt more that when the Patriots lost to the Giants (yea my family is from Boston and I like my NE teams). As I sat contemplating the answer suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks, but to explain that answer, you need to know a little more about me and my journey as a Texans fan.
I grew up in the 90's hearing about the famous boys in blue, the true team of Texas. While in 4th grade my dad sat me down in his bed and told me, "Son, Houston is gonna have a football team." At first I did not know what to expect, could anything be as awesome as our beloved Oilers that everyone loves? I attended the first game against the cowgirls (lack of capitalization for lack of respect) and from the kick off and the roar of the crowd that this was gonna lead to something special, and walking down the long ramps hearing the fans chant, "HOUSTON! TEXANS!" will be a memory that will last me to the grave.
I then endured the tenure of Carr, the tumorous qb that kept the Texans from excelling to their true destiny (I'll get to that later), and as soon as we got Schaub, and who by the way is an amazing qb despite all his haters, I really got to see this team grow exponentially. I was quickly getting more and more brazen with my hopes for the team, 8-8 ,9-8, and to now, the holy grounds of playoffs. It was seeming to be by divine intervention that our team was doing so well despite all the injuries and all the haters. It was only appropriate that my first NFL playoff experience was the first playoff experience for the Texans, and so I went to get my first taste of playoffs. As we bashed the kitties at home, sitting in section 308, all I could think about was holy shit, this is our destiny! This is it! SUPER BOWL BABY!
My family decided as a whole that after 10 years, that to not go to the Ravens game would just be an injustice. Let me say this first and foremost, Props to the Ravens fans, as a collective they were all really awesome and it was fun arguing with most of yall, except for this 16 year kid who yelled, "you're only here cause Peytons hurt!"
after every good Texans play. Back to the game, the excitement was there every play, the ups and downs made my stomach to bleed and my heart to stop. but as the final seconds ticked of the clock after all the chances and UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE effort by our amazing D (Praise Phillip) we had, it was simply not enough. How could this be? This was supposed to be destiny! Our fate to win it all! Why did we lose, not because of the Ravens, but because of turnovers. Just four plays that handed the ball to the Ravens four times. Four. That is simply unacceptable, especially in the playoffs. We beat us when it really mattered, the curse that has followed this franchise showed its ugly head, despite how amazing (best in league) Foster, the (#1) Oline, and the (best) D played today.
It's still not that we beat ourselves in playoffs that makes this loss so painful, the real reason why this loss hurt so deep was because I was a playoff virgin. My team just popped the playoff cherry and after the Bengal's game Toro whispered in my dreams that TJ was gonna lead the Texans to the sacred grounds of Super Bowl XLVI. It was my full invested hope that was in this playoff run, it was supposed to be amazing,magical, even legendary. But, we lost. the promise was broken, and like that my heart was broken, I felt like I was cheated on. I am wiser now than I was 6 hours ago, calling for the immediate releasing of TJ, KJak, and Jacoby on facebook. I realize why it hurts so much and with that knowledge come with the comforting of knowing that we have the draft coming up where we can get Kendell Wright and mend our ailing WR corps and have our defense go through a full off season of Wade Phillips coaching. With that knowledge I am not giving up hope, I will not be scared from this loss, instead, I hang up my 2010-2011 season hat and sit in my bed to dream about Schaub and Kubes holding the Lombardi next season.
I freaking love the Texans, that's why it hurts so much.