What Do You Want To See On BRB?
by Tim on Jan 26, 2012 2:24 PM CST
in General BRB Idiocy
Email
PrintWith only the Super Bowl left to play, the interminable drudgery of the offseason is nearly upon us. While we're sure to talk free agency, 2012 NFL Draft, and the Texans' roster ad infinitum over the next few months, there could well be a great idea for a post (or even several posts) that has crossed your mind, despite never even entering the vacuous airspace betwixt the collective ears of the BRB "staff."
Thus, I have a question for you. After the jump, naturally.
What would you like to see on BRB this offseason? Enlighten us in the Comments, and we'll do our best to incorporate the suggestions as much as possible.
That's not to say that every idea will be used (e.g., asking for a post that features Uprooted Texan performing interpretive dance to "Drops of Jupiter" probably won't make the cut). But if you've got something you're curious about, or want to read more about, or want to discuss more, let us know.
OTAs are a long way away. Let's do what we can to pass the time.
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MDC's battlered cookbook.
Recipes that will get us through the off season 1 bacon filled idea at a time.
Yep, I'm a Texans fan... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I filp tables every Sunday. （╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
by Salad on Jan 26, 2012 2:35 PM CST reply actions 6 recs
I was going to say either MDC or BFD cookbook.
Maybe a faceoff with those two.
2012 1st round draft pick is...............
by southpaw70 on Jan 26, 2012 2:40 PM CST up reply actions 4 recs
Interesting
It might actually force me to write down recipes.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
The fun is coming up with them, though!
Former Thane of Glamis and Cawdor.
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
by UprootedTexan on Jan 26, 2012 4:35 PM CST up reply actions
The only thing I write down
is amounts for rubs and bbq sauces, and that’s only so I can duplicate the results there each time. Anything else, it’s eyeball city, baby.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
I read "battlered cockbook"
Because, you know, he does have one.
Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.
-Catch 22-
Enlarged pics of BFD
are printed in here:
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
by MDC on Jan 27, 2012 9:05 AM CST up reply actions 3 recs
Fake conversations with real people
I’d love to see what MDC could do with Antonio and JJ.
Bandwagon fan since Oct. 6, 1999.
by Lone Spot on Jan 26, 2012 2:43 PM CST reply actions 3 recs
This^
Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.
-Catch 22-
Tim, you said you destroyed that video!
“Would never see the light of day,” you said.
Former Thane of Glamis and Cawdor.
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
by UprootedTexan on Jan 26, 2012 2:47 PM CST reply actions 3 recs
been…on…hold…for…three…hours!!!
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
Your post is very important to us.
Please continue to wait on the line for the next available mod.
/muzak
Former Thane of Glamis and Cawdor.
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
by UprootedTexan on Jan 26, 2012 2:48 PM CST up reply actions 4 recs
In all seriousness,
I kinda want to be able to put a face with BFD, Tim, MDC, TDC, TGC, Vega, and all our other brilliant writers
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
Seeing all of these usernames lined up and shortened into three letter acronyms (BFD, MDC, TDC, TGC) makes them sound like STDs. “Awww, I think I caught BFD from that girl at the sorority house last weekend…I better get tested for TGC, too…”
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Jan 26, 2012 3:01 PM CST via mobile up reply actions 5 recs
for future reference,
they are refereed to “S.T.I’s” now apparently. I haven’t gotten used to calling them that though
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
by Carter Liles on Jan 26, 2012 3:14 PM CST up reply actions
Did not know that. Interesting.
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Jan 26, 2012 3:16 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Oddly, BFD can only be cured via suppository.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
Laughed so hard I sharded
by Its Gonna Happen on Jan 26, 2012 6:08 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
sharted*?
Never written it down before…?
by Its Gonna Happen on Jan 26, 2012 6:10 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
STILL don't know WTF you were trying to say.
"How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!"
-Chief Inspector Dreyfus
Got it!
Not real happy about it, though.
"How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!"
-Chief Inspector Dreyfus
"fart pooped"
just made me laugh so loudly that my boss came to check on me. Nicely done.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
by MDC on Jan 27, 2012 9:06 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Sure
Here’s me:
Tim:
Matt:
TDC:
TGC:
.jpg)
Vega:
Rivers:
And, of course, UT:
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Jan 26, 2012 3:42 PM CST up reply actions 19 recs
How is this not already green?
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I am Barry - I am from Texas
by Barryfromtexas on Jan 26, 2012 3:44 PM CST up reply actions
Given that you call Tim a cuddly ol' teddy bear....
I’m disappointed that the picture wasn’t reflective of that
"Lord, beer me strength."
Not enough flannel.
Former Thane of Glamis and Cawdor.
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
by UprootedTexan on Jan 26, 2012 4:26 PM CST up reply actions
so this is what happens....
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
HAHAHA!
just got to this! FREAKING GREAT!
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
by Carter Liles on Jan 26, 2012 11:26 PM CST up reply actions
wait a minute
Vega is Don Johnson? What was all that Mexican heritage talk? I feel used and jealous that Rivers had a beard as a child
TGC does look like Daniel Craig!
Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.
-Catch 22-
I think BFD has a man crush.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
Eh
I had more hair in that picture.
Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
-Orwell, Politics and the English Language
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Jan 27, 2012 11:19 AM CST up reply actions
How I hate you, BFD.
Oh, how I hate you.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
by MDC on Jan 27, 2012 9:14 AM CST up reply actions 4 recs
in mdc's world hate = love
- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.
"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma
vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers
"I believe in this "zombie team that won’t fucking die no matter how many body parts you shoot off." We can win this game.
by NoSafetiesNeeded on Jan 27, 2012 10:03 PM CST up reply actions
Oddly
you’re not far off.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
In depth writeups on classic power ballads.
Give us the stories behind the songs, maybe track down some band members and do a brief interview. Maybe do a couple of these each week, and have a showdown each weekend where the best song is chosen by the BRB community. Week One: Extreme’s “More Than Words” vs. Mr. Big’s “To Be With You”. Week Two: The Scorpions’ “Wind of Change” vs. White Lion’s “Wait”, etc.
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Jan 26, 2012 2:56 PM CST via mobile reply actions 1 recs
If no one else says this
This idea roxxorz.
Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
-Orwell, Politics and the English Language
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Jan 26, 2012 11:34 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Holy shit.
This is a GREAT idea.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
"Wasted Time" by Skid Row
My nominee for best power ballad ever.
An aside: the 80’s were a goldmine of unintentionally funny lyrics. Can anyone identify these?
“ain’t no paramedic gonna save this heart attack”
“time don’t heal a broken gun”
“you flash your bedroom eyes like a jumping jack”
“only time will tell if we’ll stand the test of time”
by JBal on Jan 27, 2012 9:48 AM CST via Android app up reply actions
The last one
is Van Halen, “Why Can’t This Be Love.” And I think the one about the gun is L.A. Guns’ “Ballad of Jayne.”
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
Correct, nicely done.
I’m still mad at you though
by JBal on Jan 27, 2012 12:35 PM CST via Android app up reply actions
¿Por que?
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
Because I visited emails from an asshole based on your recommendation...
Unfortunately, I started reading it on the crapper at work. Soon the tiled bathroom was echoing with gales of laughter. Naturally, there were several other people in there that I’m sure now think I have some hilarious feces. I blame…you!
by JBal on Jan 27, 2012 1:01 PM CST via Android app up reply actions 1 recs
Newb rec!
And no.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Jan 26, 2012 3:31 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
booooooo......!!!!!!
;- )
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
damn failed reply
2012 1st round draft pick is...............
by southpaw70 on Jan 26, 2012 3:04 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Hell
I’ll rec that anyways :)
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I am Barry - I am from Texas
by Barryfromtexas on Jan 26, 2012 3:45 PM CST up reply actions
What happened to Rivers breaking down the tape footage?
I know he moved on the bigger and better things but he could have trained his replacement at least!
Rectum!? Damn near killed 'em!!!
by theSpaceCityKid on Jan 26, 2012 3:09 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Guess nobody wanted that gig.
I would have if they would have asked me too, i have nothing but time.
2012 1st round draft pick is...............
I offered.
Nobody accepted.
Which makes sense because those posts took literally 10 hours to make AFTER charting.
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter | Football Outsiders | Battle Red Blog
by riversmccown on Jan 26, 2012 6:42 PM CST via mobile up reply actions 2 recs
Truly
If you didn’t think Rivers was a badass before, you should now.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Jan 26, 2012 9:11 PM CST up reply actions 4 recs
The Mississippi is pretty badass.
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
by Foster Child on Jan 27, 2012 6:02 AM CST up reply actions
I'm a big fan of the Brahmaputra myself
Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
-Orwell, Politics and the English Language
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Jan 27, 2012 6:59 AM CST up reply actions
Tigris and Euphrates baby!
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
It's all about the Amazon
the only river that made The Rock think twice about taking a tinkle
Kubiak believes in you
they also took literally 10 hours...
to LOAD. rimshot
Michael: The feeling that you're feeling is what many of us call...a feeling.
Gob: It's not like envy, or even hungry...
I apologize that free content takes time to load.
Clearly we should make this a paysite.
- Rivers McCown, From Mom's Basement | Twitter | Football Outsiders | Battle Red Blog
Is "Drops of Jupiter" the interpretive dance that the Dude's landlord does onstage...
…just before he and Walter go interrogate Larry Sellars? If so, I’m gonna take a chance and request that one.
"You mean, besides two chicks at the same time?"
Pretty sure that it is a different song
Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
-Orwell, Politics and the English Language
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Jan 26, 2012 11:35 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Tune into NFL Network. Antonio Smith is doing Ninja Reporting at the NFC Practice.
It’s pretty funny.
I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.
~Muhammad Ali
Tweet that to @HoustonTexans and @antoniosmith94
I’ve never known anyone that wouldn’t sell a money making idea. It’s gold.
"Lord, beer me strength."
"Uprooted Texan performing interpretive dance to "Drops of Jupiter" probably won't make the cut"
DANG!
OK, how about a “Comment of the Month” contest? The staff nominates, the readers vote. Winner gets a pair of 50-yard line Texans tickets (or a cheap T-shirt, if you think that’s more appropriate).
It might stimulate the hoi polloi out here to be more creative, or at least try harder to make sense with our comments.
p.s.: Where’s BRR? I’m dying to hear MDC’s Jacoby rant.
"How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!"
-Chief Inspector Dreyfus
Can we have an offseason 2DH
or something similar. obv you couldn’t have the statistics but the stories, breakdowns of rap songs, a non-football related marijuana pepsi section etc etc?
by EnglishTexan on Jan 26, 2012 3:55 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Yeah I'd like a 2DH to survive the offseason
Those really were the best part of my week!
Regarding Mario Williams, who is a real game changer when healthy: The U.S. Navy spends a ton of the budget on Aircraft Carriers, because they are absolute game changers when in the combat theater. If the carrier only has two out of four catapults operational or sinks to the ocean floor half way to the assigned deployment, it’s effectiveness is no longer worth the investment for the fleet.
I know he did Battle Red Bag last offseason
Those were always entertaining
by LouisianaTexan on Jan 27, 2012 7:15 AM CST up reply actions
The Bag will return.
Probably going to do it once/month instead of once/week, though, just because we’re looking at 6.5 months to fill, rather than the 2.5 that I did the Bag last summer.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
by MDC on Jan 27, 2012 9:19 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
At least this offseason is just a little bit better than last year.
We don’t have to worry about CBA disputes.
.................
This might be doable.
It almost certainly won’t be weekly, though. The non-football stuff is what takes the longest when writing those.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
How about player interviews
whether it’s via twitter or whatever. I’m sure a few will stick around Houston for a bit.
Thank you Texans for 2011.
The 2012 season can't start soon enough.
Honey Badger for President
I second this.
I’ve seen a player interviews on other SB Nation blogs, so surely our gallant writers can occasionally make it happen here as well.
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Jan 26, 2012 4:11 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
BRING BACK BEhIND THE MASK!
and more Battle red Onion.
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
I want the option to buy my goddamn tshirt
Only a sith deals in absolutes.
by nolander on Jan 26, 2012 3:59 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
That's Fair
Your option is to come to Houston to get one.
Actually, that’s not true. They’ve sold out. We may get some more made, though.
Ecstatic that Texans fandom no longer means that April is the highlight of my season...
z
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
by nolander on Jan 26, 2012 5:42 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
check the Academy website
and maybe the NFL store online
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
by professortex on Jan 26, 2012 8:05 PM CST up reply actions
I don't think they have Battle Red Blog t-shirts at Academy
or the NFL store online.
/That’s be pretty bad ass if they did, though.
//Tim, quit slacking and get your merchandise into Academy/NFL store online.
by Tailgate Andy on Jan 27, 2012 8:28 AM CST up reply actions
sorry...thought you were talking about Texans shirts
lol….nice way to make me look like a noob.
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
by professortex on Jan 27, 2012 10:09 AM CST up reply actions
Mock Draft Competition
Not a FULL Mock Draft, just a mock of the Texans picks and what they’ll do with them, in terms of picking players or trading the picks around.
Partial points could go towards picks that get the player’s position correct but got the actual player wrong. Or if a trade is predicted, partial points could go to someone who is just one round off. Just spitballin’ here.
Winner(s) could receive a BRB shirt or cash prize or sexual harassment from the staff.
Use a Google form (or some other form) to tabulate the results so you folks don’t have to comb through comments to figure out who got the most points.
The same thing could be done with a sort of mock of Free Agent Activity related to the Texans (who is leaving, who is resigned, who is brought on).
Second this.
That seems like a good idea.
by Dmo_Htx on Jan 26, 2012 5:13 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
MDC's MaleBag?
Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.
-Catch 22-
by Jordann on Jan 27, 2012 7:55 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Seriously?
Draft shit.
As in in-depth analysis of the players we might be looking at with our pick. Including possibly comparing said player with current NFL player, b/c personally I dig that. Scenarios where we might trade down. Or up. Ummm….oh! Trades between other teams, and FA’s we might target (WR’s etc).
Also I like the Mock draft competition idea baove^^^^
by YohannDookeyblue on Jan 26, 2012 4:33 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Yes, a BRB mock draft
That went really good last year and there were a lot of good contributions. I learned a lot about the other teams that I didn’t know before, in the process.
"All our lives we're taught to get in line. The ones who conform never discover." - Undrafted Free Agent and NFL Rushing Leader Arian Foster
Some sort of mock draft based on humor rather than anything real
Maybe you picked someone just because of his name. Or because he is a former tight end, and his unique blend of height, quick feet, and soft hands means he should be the backup quarterback….ohh, right, we already have Casey…well, you know what I mean.
by BleachBum on Jan 26, 2012 4:38 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
Ohh, I rather like that idea.
Former Thane of Glamis and Cawdor.
Despite my better judgment, a manager at Battle Red Blog.
Supreme Galactic Editor of Battle Red Onion.
I am a visionary, I am a genius, and now I am angry! Now where are those pants at?!
by UprootedTexan on Jan 26, 2012 4:39 PM CST up reply actions
we should draft Arian Foster in like the 5th round
…since he has never been drafted…that way we pay him 5th round money instead of having to bid for him in free agency !!!
He'd probably get pissy on the phone that the round was too low
and make us want to pick someone else instead
/unlucky Seattle
by EnglishTexan on Jan 26, 2012 4:58 PM CST up reply actions
I want the Sack!!!
or was it bag? Anyways I want where we can email questions, football related or not, and the writers can post their witty answers.
by ketchuppants7 on Jan 26, 2012 4:44 PM CST via Android app reply actions
some trivia
little know facts about the players and coaches
it could be a contest
to see who comes up with the most interesting trivia
I'd like
Some sort of interactive game. With real or joke prizes. Either like Texans, football, or random trivia. Something to get the random peons like me more involved.
by BricAM on Jan 26, 2012 5:24 PM CST via mobile reply actions
OR
Something to get the creative juices flowing like a caption contest or fiction story contest featuring a Texan.
by BricAM on Jan 26, 2012 5:27 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
A caption contest sounds cool…
The bird is struggling out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.
by Stupendous Man on Jan 26, 2012 5:45 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
Audio of MDC reading the Declaration of Independence.
And reports on what the players do in the offseason. Is Foster reciting poetry to ducks? Is Cushing headbutting his neighbors whenever they speak to him? Inquiring minds want to know!
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
Now we just need some audio
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
by Foster Child on Jan 26, 2012 5:44 PM CST up reply actions 8 recs
Seven thumbs up.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
impressive
mine’s is only half a thumb. she said she didn’t care about the size. wait, what ……….
- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.
"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma
vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers
"I believe in this "zombie team that won’t fucking die no matter how many body parts you shoot off." We can win this game.
by NoSafetiesNeeded on Jan 26, 2012 6:30 PM CST up reply actions
Maybe a power rankings list of who you want/don't want the Texans to stay...
Much in vain of the power rankings you had throughout the season
*Proud Packers shareholder*
With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!
by RaY210 on Jan 26, 2012 5:58 PM CST via mobile reply actions
Damn autocorrect!
*to draft
*Proud Packers shareholder*
With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!
by RaY210 on Jan 26, 2012 5:59 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
It owes you a "vein", too.
"How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!"
-Chief Inspector Dreyfus
I dunno
Some of the past seasons – “in vain” may be more appropriate :)
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I am Barry - I am from Texas
by Barryfromtexas on Jan 26, 2012 6:29 PM CST up reply actions
fun with diagrams!!!
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
Loved the diagrams
Things to fuck with………..Wu Tang Clan
by JBal on Jan 26, 2012 7:32 PM CST via Android app up reply actions
I always enjoy the X's and O's stuff
Film breakdowns for example, on why a play does or does not work. This would be particularly nice in the secondary, and on the lines, where it can often be hard for us uneducated folk to discern who has what responsibility. Lance Z did a great one over at the chron after last year’s game against the Giants, for example. Just my .02.
by JBal on Jan 26, 2012 7:37 PM CST via Android app up reply actions
If you do a mock draft...
Please do only one, for God’s sake. Updating it once or twice a week like Kiper and McShay is uber ridiculous.
Can someone find out
About all the sucky officials’ calls (allegedly reviewed by the league), and what if anything happened?
I am not sure where all to look, except I think on one or two of them we kinda sorta heard something about them.
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I am Barry - I am from Texas
here is an Idea
Hot Chick Draft….where we “draft” any hot chick you must supply a pic as proof of her hotness, plus why you think he is hot…
we could go 3-5 rounds(more if needed/able)
round robin…yada yada….
Here’s a theoretical play from 2010: Snap. Tony takes 7 step drop. Tony looks left at Miles, who is doubled, and looks right to where Roy Williams should be…but instead sees Colombo on his back and a Defensive End foaming at the mouth jumping over Marc’s carcass. Tony proceeds to run like hell and look for Witten
-by CotySaxman on Jul 11, 2011 7:50 AM PDT
Now, if somebody doesn’t agree with that, that’s cool. I also don’t agree with the fact that I don’t have $10 million in my bank account. But the fact that I don’t agree with it doesn’t make it any less true.
by One.Cool.Customer on Dec 23, 2010 12:00 AM PST
by I am Ironman!!! on Jan 26, 2012 6:54 PM CST reply actions
ISWYDT
Trying to circumvent the Bewbs ban
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I am Barry - I am from Texas
by Barryfromtexas on Jan 26, 2012 7:16 PM CST up reply actions
Tried to change the sex, too.
But we’re not fooled!
"How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!"
-Chief Inspector Dreyfus
What we want
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
by Foster Child on Jan 26, 2012 8:29 PM CST reply actions 12 recs
laughing my ass off...
see, i CAN spell!!!
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
Why is this not greened?
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I am Barry - I am from Texas
by Barryfromtexas on Jan 26, 2012 9:14 PM CST up reply actions
Always more puns. ALWAYS.
"Lord, beer me strength."
by TexansDC on Jan 26, 2012 10:01 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
well we will have a lot of first round posts
but i’m talking about guys in the third or fourth that most guys don’t know about. Like possible steals, or solid depth.
and the clouds opened up and God said "I Hate you Texans Fans."
Our Andre, who art from Heaven, hallowed by thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Canton.
and reply fail
/ i suck
//TWSS
and the clouds opened up and God said "I Hate you Texans Fans."
Our Andre, who art from Heaven, hallowed by thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Canton.
I was looking really hard for the pun there too!
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I am Barry - I am from Texas
by Barryfromtexas on Jan 26, 2012 10:36 PM CST up reply actions
Sign on a truck that says: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
It was a Septic Service truck
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I am Barry - I am from Texas
by Barryfromtexas on Jan 26, 2012 10:40 PM CST up reply actions
Sign on a truck that says: We Take Crap Seriously
It was a dog poop removal truck.
Seriously, I saw this last month.
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
by Foster Child on Jan 26, 2012 10:42 PM CST up reply actions
Wait
There is a dog poop removal truck?
/smh
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I am Barry - I am from Texas
by Barryfromtexas on Jan 26, 2012 10:53 PM CST up reply actions
Moar Charts!!!! and graphs
Marshall lives thru Graphs & Charts
How about I Punch-a-size your face for free! - Rod Farva
by distant_texans_fan on Jan 26, 2012 11:17 PM CST up reply actions
i voted for tomfoolery
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES CUT JACOBY JONES
by Carter Liles on Jan 26, 2012 11:29 PM CST up reply actions
More X and O stuff.
Responsibilities of the X, Y and Z receivers (I think that’s what Kubes calls them) in our offense.
Saturday Night Tunes and
Posts about possible draft prospects(all rounds). Like why would some be great fits in Houston, why some won’t be and theirs strengths and weakness’s.
and the clouds opened up and God said "I Hate you Texans Fans."
Our Andre, who art from Heaven, hallowed by thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Canton.
I am always up for some tunes...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OO3ZMdcL8Pc
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
I plan on doing that...
Hard to focus on draft talk when free agency will shape a lot of that, but I do plan to breakdown some mock drafts and point out how wrong or right they appear, when it comes to the Texans. I enjoyed doing that on SBNH last year.
"Lord, beer me strength."
After the superbowl
I’ll start putting up SNT again. Stealing it from BFD so he actually has to come up with a solid idea for a front page post. That lazy bastard.
Capt. Nately: You're a shameful opportunist! What you don't understand is that it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Old man in whorehouse: You have it backwards. It's better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.
-Catch 22-
I have a plan for a music-related OT post.
Now just have to find the time to write and post it.
Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
-Orwell, Politics and the English Language
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Jan 27, 2012 11:20 AM CST up reply actions
I am a sucker for Caption Contest
True arrogance has been displayed here- WestministerRavensfan or something
Hi My name is Jack, why don't you help me off?
"...well, I have a basement apartment you could rent..."
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
it's not me, it's your neck
- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.
"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma
vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers
"I believe in this "zombie team that won’t fucking die no matter how many body parts you shoot off." We can win this game.
by NoSafetiesNeeded on Jan 26, 2012 9:17 PM CST up reply actions 5 recs
Where is that "Football Cops" app?
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I am Barry - I am from Texas
by Barryfromtexas on Jan 26, 2012 9:24 PM CST up reply actions
Not a caption
but isn’t Irsay’s suit a bit too tight? And is it just me, or does he look like an ex-wrestler from the WCW?
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.--Washington Irving
by Foster Child on Jan 26, 2012 9:48 PM CST up reply actions
That tie is as obnoxiuos as hell...
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
To paraphrase Ingatius J Reilly
That suit/shirt/tie combo is an utter abortion. The coat is too tight and there is too much padding in the shoulders. The coat sleeves are too short. And heaven help anybody who buttons the top two buttons on a three-button coat. You only ever button the middle button.
Contrast collar shirts are ok, but if you’re wearing a prominent pinstripe on your coat, you should wear a shirt that is a solid color. And if you decide to violate that rule, giving yourself a patterned shirt and coat, then you need to tone the garishness down with a solid or minimally patterned tie, not something that looks like it was made from a dead snake found on the side of the road. Total fail.
Just goes to show you that money =/= taste.
Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
-Orwell, Politics and the English Language
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Jan 26, 2012 11:55 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
tGC is now
The resident fashion nazi!
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
Pays better than being a grammar Nazi, I suppose
Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
-Orwell, Politics and the English Language
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Jan 27, 2012 2:20 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
Looking like a Batman villain
"San Antonio is the best falling down team in the league"- Bill Worrell
by TheLastDynasty on Jan 26, 2012 9:55 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Not sure why the first the that caught my eye was a Texas tattoo
62s tricep….check it out
by Its Gonna Happen on Jan 27, 2012 5:02 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
62 in the back ground:
Dose this stance make me look fat?
Forehead: SMH, Yes
True arrogance has been displayed here- WestministerRavensfan or something
Hi My name is Jack, why don't you help me off?
cut the blue wire, not the red
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
by professortex on Jan 27, 2012 10:13 AM CST up reply actions
How about...
A best of from the best season the Texans have ever had…
A good write up about occasions like TJ’s game winning drive against cincy, Dres td catch in the playoffs etc etc., would be awesome.
Could do one for each week of the season. 18 weeks of awesome memories and special tingly moments.
And yes, i said special tingly moments…
by TexInOrd on Jan 26, 2012 9:29 PM CST via mobile reply actions
Oblicgatory
TWSS
"Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them." - George Orwell
I am Barry - I am from Texas
by Barryfromtexas on Jan 26, 2012 9:40 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
...and rec'd...
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
I dont want to hear about your special tingly moments
especially if they involve BFD, Jordann, and a panda suit
I know what I DON'T want to see on BRB...some ugly dude wearing nothing but "tighty whities" and a ski mask
We ban Katy Perry’s Bouncing Elmo GIF and other “bewbalicious” pics (which we understand is overall better for the site), yet sponsors are placing this in here? Next thing you know we’ll have David “Mittens” Carr wearing a tutu in a Superbowl ad! Or Wilford Brimley in a thong pushing “dibeeeeetus” meds.
wut
Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
-Orwell, Politics and the English Language
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Jan 27, 2012 2:22 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
It is on my browser as well
We have an Epic Advertising Fail on BRB
True arrogance has been displayed here- WestministerRavensfan or something
Hi My name is Jack, why don't you help me off?
What is going on with SBNation's advertising sockets?
This is NSFW, not entertaining, and having the reverse effect intended. I don’t know what Delocated is, but I have no interest to click that ad to find out, and I’d love to not see it splattered in my favorite sports blog.
What are they doing over there to land this kind of ad in strategic spots on BRB and other SBNation sites?
Seriously, they need to tell “Adult Swim” to remove these ads and go with something less disgusting:
I can see why it's appearing
Adult Swim is something that caters to that 18-25 demographic market of men that one would presume is on the internet talking sports.
The creative work is cringeworthy though. I don’t get how that weird ad would appeal to any man.
"Lord, beer me strength."
Other than bfd, you mean?
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
Needs more ball-gag.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Jan 27, 2012 10:59 PM CST up reply actions
appeal to curiousity for the young man
If everybody was somebody, then nobody would be anybody - Gilbert and Sullivan
by professortex on Jan 28, 2012 10:05 AM CST up reply actions
That
Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
-Orwell, Politics and the English Language
www.battleredblog.com
by tehGrindCrusher on Jan 27, 2012 11:21 AM CST up reply actions
boooo you are a terrible person and should die in a fire
just kidding… about the fire part
Watch me all in flames, on a butterfly I ride
You mean besides two chicks at the same time?
www.TheDreamShake.com Co-Founder and Writer
by UofTOrange on Jan 27, 2012 7:08 AM CST via Android app reply actions
Not all chicks like money
The kind that would double down on a guy like me do.
by BricAM on Jan 27, 2012 8:55 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
Tim, MDC, and Rivers:
The better half and I were just talking last week about the “special offseason BRB project” we had all discussed a few months back. We should convene a meeting on the subject soon and set the wheels in motion.
Yes...as a matter of fact, that IS a pic of Steve McNair & Sahel Kazemi parasailing. Suck it, Titans fans.
by -Jay on Jan 27, 2012 9:19 AM CST via iPhone app reply actions
you are finally
going to release the Filipino Midget Trannys from BFD’s Basement? VIVA LA REVOLUCION!
"Taco Joe - the beacon of optimism" TexansDC
THEREALALLENOU: "@Joeeatstacos... You're like the second testicle to my Tom green. I dont NEED you, but life is better when your around lol"
AllenOU is the Montgomery to my Patton
God blessed Texas, but he has forsaken the Texans
Follow @Joeeatstacos
I was just talking about that
with Mrs. MDC the other day. She thinks it’s brilliant.
I have not yet begun to defile myself.
The Two-Day Hangover @ Battle Red Blog (2011) & SBN Houston (2010) | Twitter | About MDC
you guys are gonna let us, the inmates run the asylum?!?!??!?!?!?
MOAR BOOBS FOR EVERYONE111 AND NOT JUST MAN BOOBS BUT WOMENZ TOO!!!1
- Feeling the five stages of grief since 2002.
"It's either gonna make you a man or a coward. One of the two. I'm a be a man. I ain't never seen a coward, heard a coward, coward not in ma
vocabulary." - Lawrence Vickers
"I believe in this "zombie team that won’t fucking die no matter how many body parts you shoot off." We can win this game.
by NoSafetiesNeeded on Jan 27, 2012 10:07 PM CST up reply actions
i think we should do more meet ups.
like maybe at the draft party at the stadium? that would be awesome.
Michael: The feeling that you're feeling is what many of us call...a feeling.
Gob: It's not like envy, or even hungry...
Great idea.
A Texans fan. Really. No, I'm not kidding.
http://www.battleredblog.com
"Blind fandom is all I got left." - LoneSpot
by bigfatdrunk on Jan 27, 2012 12:16 PM CST up reply actions
Moar Movie Quotes !
You are banned from Stampede Blue.
You can browse the blog, but you can't participate.
Hi CFHTim. You're trolling yet another SB Nation blog. Since you've been banned from several other SB Nation blogs, you don't get a warning. You get banned. If you want to get unbanned, email BBS and state your case for re-admission.
Tits would be nice
Call it the daily boob or something.
Arm chair GM. Mod/contributing writer at SBN Jets blog GGN.
GangGreenNation.com
...no moar bewbz...
me haz a sad…
'Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.' -Frank Herbert
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