Bob Levey - Getty Images
"Yo, Glover, I know you already got this award wrapped up, but I'm gonna kill Nate Washington a little later just for grins, dog."
[Author's note: For a few years now, dating back to my days at DGDB&D, we have occasionally handed out an award when an opposing player gets Knocked The F*** Out. (This is a somewhat subject distinction, and it's generally measured in how strongly a hit makes us recoil and yell "DAMN!" when viewed at game speed.) Vonta Leach was the first, and most consistent, winner of said fake prize, so, when he left for Baltimore, the award was renamed in memory of the Human Coke Machine.
/cues slo-mo montage of Vonta Leach hitting various linebackers so hard that tGC's lights flickered, all set to the tune of Samuel Barber's "Adagio For Strings"]
Let's be completely honest with one another: if you were watching the game, you immediately knew which play would win this award for Week 4. Really, the only question is whether this award should be split, since J.J. Watt hit Jake Locker on the play as well, or if it should go solely to Glover Quin for his day-ending destruction of the white Vince Young.
In the end, while J.J. Watt was certainly involved (because J.J. Watt is everywhere, doing everything, at all times), Quin's hit was just too beautifully violent to force him to share this award.
There's a moment, just as Quin rolls off of LOLcker, where Jake's left hand kind of twitches. You could chalk that up to the upstream shoulder injury, or you could assume that it's just his soul trying to tap out and prevent any more damage. Because, when Glover Quin hits you, you stay hit.
Jake Locker . . .