For a few years now, dating back to my days at DGDB&D, we have occasionally handed out an award when an opposing player gets Knocked The F*** Out. (This is a somewhat subject distinction, and it's generally measured in how strongly a hit makes us recoil and yell "DAMN!" when viewed at game speed.) Vonta Leach was the first, and most consistent, winner of said fake prize, so, when he left for Baltimore, the award was renamed in memory of the Human Coke Machine.

/cues slo-mo montage of Vonta Leach hitting various linebackers so hard that their future offspring walked with limps, all set to the tune of Dido's "Here With Me"

Now, look. I have very few rules that I absolutely live by, but one of the hard-and-fast ones is this: if you don't get injured at all when an NFL linebacker hits you so hard that he knocks himself stupid, it's time for this award to be dusted off for the first presentation of the season. I'm just old fashioned like that, I guess.

To that end, we're pleased to announce that KR/PR/O-Loompa Trindon Holliday is the inaugural 2012 winner of this storied and highly sought award thanks to this play:

Trindon's shoulders, while small and situated too close to Earth to allow him to reach the top shelf in the kitchen, are apparently made of adamantium.

Nate Irving . . .