Hey, Guiness Book of World Records, it's time for some new categories. How about world's fastest, yet most confidence-building, press conference? How about best muscle-mass-to-T-shirt ratio? Most hetersexual males made to question their own sexuality?
If such categories already exist, then consider this press conference from American footballer Justin James Watt.
I like to imagine that he took a gigantic, deep breath before running up onto the podium. By the way, Is that a record-- most cubic inches of air inhaled?
Watt, who's the only player in the NFL to record 20 sacks and 15 passes defensed in a single season, surely must have set SOME kind of new record with Wednesday's press conference. Watt spoke about the Chiefs, fans, and the work the team has done the past week after four straight losses:
"From our standpoint, our fans don't want to hear about how we're going to fix it. They don't want to hear the words I have to say; they just want to see results, and I fully understand that. So all we can do is go to work, and that's what we're going to do. Words don't win games; work does."
Forgive me, Watt, but you're wrong. I do want to hear the words you have to say, because right now those dulcet tones of yours are the only thing letting me sleep at night during this nightmarish season. Keep it up, big guy.