In Which I Psychoanalyze Kubiak and Schaub's Relationship

I posted this in the first-half game thread but I'm reposting to begin my point.

y'all seriously need to read 'Slow Getting Up'

It’s a book by Nate Jackson, who played under Kubes as O.C. in Denver. Quote:

"Kube was a career backup quarterback who knew the system inside and out but rarely got to play. With all of that studying and no playing, the game becomes conceptual, and as a coach, Kube trusts the concepts over the instinct of the player, who comes and goes."

That sorta says it all to me right there.

So, Kubiak was a backup who never got a shot. Schaub is a backup who DID get a shot. We can debate all day about whether Schaub has the skills necessary to be the kind of QB who leads a team deep into contention, but the one thing that seems fairly clear this season -- and, if we're being honest with ourselves, throughout the Schaub era -- is that his average-but-not-great skills are unquestionably not being served by Kubiak's brand of coaching or play-calling.

One gathers, by watching the QBs termed as "elite," that they are not soulless automatons executing functions off a piece of paper handed to them by a coach... and that when the play they're attempting falls through, they have the sense to change it, to improvise, to scramble, to pull magic out of thin air. Schaub has none of those abilities, or at least chooses not to use them 99 percent of the time. He runs the play as called. You can almost hear his inner monologue: "Ok, Matt. Five step drop, pause, pause, angle body 47 degrees, throw..."

The reason he's failing is that opposing teams have finally realized they can hear his thoughts. They've realized that Kubiak's play-calling is predictable, and that Schaub doesn't have the power (or the will, or the freedom) to improvise on the spot. So our receivers get covered, and their routes get jumped. It doesn't take a genius. Most of us know where the ball is going before the ball is snapped these days, and we're three beers in on a couch at home.

When I posted this quote earlier, OneManBlitz responded that Schaub is Kubiak's "avatar." That, to me, feels exactly right. Their relationship is like something from Toddlers and Tiaras: Mom was never a beauty queen, so she's gonna run her daughter -- and their whole family -- off the rails in a desperate attempt to grab the glory she could never get herself.

And while I don't pretend to know a lot about football, I know one thing: Stage moms don't win Super Bowls.


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