Battle Red Blazin' Hot NFL Picks: Week 14 - Time For Some WIN-sanity

Thomas Campbell-USA TODAY Sports

Week 14 is upon us, kicking off with our Houston Texans traveling to Jacksonville for a quick rematch. Battle Red Blog brings you some sauced, tossed, and mulled over winners. Catch an update on the Unofficial BRB Pick 'Em League, too. Brought to you by Buffalo Wild Wings.

Howdy, readers. It wasn't supposed to be this way: The Houston Texans are entering Week 14 hoping to avoid a staggering 11th loss in a row... on prime time... against the Jacksonville Jaguars. Reminds me of this famous quote:

"The best laid schemes of mice and men often go awry."

- Robert Burns

Apparently, Burns wrote this poem after driving his plough through a nest of field mice. The Texans are certainly the mice in this case.

I'm also reminded of poor Will Smith in Independence Day, whose best laid holiday plans went awry (VIDEO) after Earth was invaded by aliens:

"Y'know, this was supposed to be my weekend off, but noooo. You got me out here draggin' your heavy ass through the burnin' desert with your dreadlocks stickin' out the back of my parachute. You gotta come down here with an attitude, actin' all big and bad...

"...and what the hell is that smell? *KICK* I coulda been 'atta barbecue!"

- Will Smith from Independence Day

Have I mentioned before that I love this movie? Well, I do. Anyway, here's the update Top 12 for BRB's Unofficial Pick 'Em League. I extended it to 12 to include our very own Capt. Ron, who's scratching his way to the top of the list.

Rank Pick Set Name Total Dropped W-L
1 Eggshellman 122 7 122-56
2 goomba 118 5 118-60
3 erikhayden 118 6 118-60
4 oiler-texan diehard 115 6 115-63
5 mefjr 113 5 113-64
6 parahax 113 5 113-64
7 Corzo 113 6 113-65
8 STEELBLUE 113 6 113-64
9 Gunning for Corzo 112 6 112-63
10 XRoadie 112 5 112-63
11 DO 111 5 111-67
12 Capt Ron 111 6 111-66

It would appear that I have someone gunning for me. I'm flattered, and also scared, but we should be aiming our missiles at Eggshellman; he posted another solid week (12 points!) and is comfortably enjoying a 4-point lead. He's ominously hovering over all of us, pointing a big green laser beam at our cities. Someone needs to Randy Quaid an F-15 right into that guy. OK, no more Independence Day references.

Onward to the picks! The spread is included but not considered in making the selections.

Houston Texans @ Jacksonville Jaguars (+3)

I genuinely believe that Durga will show us an ounce of benevolence and allow us to taste the sweet nectar of victory for at least one week. An 11th loss in a row might give me an aneurysm. Draft be damned; give me a win.

Indianapolis Colts @ Cincinnati Bengals (-6)

Atlanta Falcons @ Green Bay Packers (0)

Cleveland Browns @ New England Patriots (0)

Oakland Raiders @ New York Jets (-2.5)

Detroit Lions @ Philadelphia Eagles (-2.5)

Miami Dolphins @ Pittsburgh Steelers (-3)

Buffalo Bills @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-2.5)

I haven't the slightest idea.

Kansas City Chiefs @ Washington Redskins (+3)

Minnesota Vikings @ Baltimore Ravens (6.5)

Tennessee Titans @ Denver Broncos (-12)

St. Louis Rams @ Arizona Cardinals (-6.5)

New York Giants @ San Diego Chargers (-3)

Seattle Seahawks @ San Francisco 49ers (-2.5)

Carolina Panthers @ New Orleans Saints (-3)

Drew Brees can spout off win/loss stats all he wants, but the Saints are a completely different team on the road than at home inside the dome. The Panthers have an equally fierce defense compared to the Seahawks, but Brees will make quick work of them.

Dallas Cowboys @ Chicago Bears (-1)

***

Another week in the books. Enjoy the game tonight, folks, because football is almost over. Leave your picks in the comments below.

Texans vs Jaguars coverage

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